Post: #1

Hey...

Well i am a nerd... I am not good with people and social stuff. I spend most of my time alone and have very less friends. To be honest I like it and im happy that way. The only problem: i have very poor social skills.

So my Question:
Whats a fast way to improve social skills rapidly (and i don't care if it is gonna be tough, embarrassing, painful or uncomfortable in an other way)?

Post: #2

You're kidding right? Maybe you should

Post: #3

(11-08-2012 07:34 PM)Alpha Hunter Zero Wrote:  You're kidding right? Maybe you should

Im not trolling....

Post: #4

In the case you're not trolling, you seem to want this to happen overnight and unfortunately thats not going to happen. Depending on what your goals are: becoming a player, acting more confident around women, improving your dating life or bettering yourself as a man, is not going to happen in a short time. It takes months, years, sometimes a lifetime and many men simply give up because they dont get instant results. You have a great resource guide right here in RVF. You now need to put yourself out there and push through every interaction& learn what what works & what doesnt and make a note of it. Trust me, its a long process with everything you wrote in parenthesis describing it but than again so is life. Go out there, have fun and better yourself as a person.

Post: #5

Start by changing up your style. Get a basic stylish haircut like someone famous or popular. I have really long hair myself but if I were to cut it I'd probably shave it short on top(#2 guard) and maybe shorter on the sides and back and kinda blend or fade it together. I like low maintenance.

Second, start dressing a little nicer, cleaner, trendier or whatever you wanna call it. Go to Macy's or Nordstom and get measured for your fitted clothing size, shirts and pants. Don't waste your time and money and guess. Go through some of the style threads on here and study up.

Third, spend the $20 a month on a gym membership and start hitting the weights. Read up on pre and post workout nutrition to get the full benefit of the gym. Lotsa health and exercise threads on here. Good reading I'm telling you.

Fourth, just start talking to people about anything. News, weather, sports, music, Dungeons and Dragon or whatever. It doesn't matter. You'll get over the shyness and awkwardness over time. You may even look back and laugh at yourself eventually. It's a growing experience.

Finally, ...travel. Take a trip solo or with a friend. Take a weekend road trip somewhere you've never been. Vegas, Florida, hell even Costa Rica is gringo friendly these days. You'll love it. Go live your life man.

Post: #6

Im aware of that thats a lifetime of work. I just like to be a quick learner and its easier to learn from other people/peoples misstakes than doing them yourself.

Some people here probably have/had a similar problem and can help me with it (not expecting a miracle here, it will take as much time as it takes)

@Parlay44
Actually i did not think its a problem of confidence more in beeing too slow in conversation and dont get things at all but maybe ur right and it really is a matter of confidence in some way (like i feel like i am unable so I am unable).

For example: I dont dare Picking trendy clothes because i have no clue whats trendy... maybe i should just pick something...

I dont know... I need time to think... (of course ur advices are still welcome)

Post: #7

have you tried the roosh program? if you haven't, then do it. start today! I finished it recently, it literally changed my life. I have no social inhibition at all now. I don't worry about people judging me. I am outgoing, and I never run out of things to say anymore. I'm not saying I'm like a "MPUA" or anything like that...just that it made a big difference in my social skills. after doing over 200 solo approaches at bars and clubs, you really just stop giving a shit about being judged, and once you are not feeling self-conscious that's when you really start to see and feel a change. just do the program, keep reading as much as you can about pickup, conversation, whatever, as long as you make sure you have a steady influx of ideas and experiments to try, and you will see yourself improve with every night you go out into the field. well not sure if this is the right answer for you, but I hope it helps!

Post: #8

Toni, you mentioned trendy clothes. It all depends onyour community and overall area. If you dont mind me asking what city or state do you live in so we can get a general idea of what you should pick out and buy?

Post: #9

(11-08-2012 09:28 PM)Alpha Hunter Zero Wrote:  Toni, you mentioned trendy clothes. It all depends onyour community and overall area. If you dont mind me asking what city or state do you live in so we can get a general idea of what you should pick out and buy?

yea well i live in germany
guess that makes it difficult a bit for u guys...

Post: #10

(11-08-2012 07:21 PM)Toni Wrote:  Hey...

Well i am a nerd... I am not good with people and social stuff. I spend most of my time alone and have very less friends. To be honest I like it and im happy that way. The only problem: i have very poor social skills.

So my Question:
Whats a fast way to improve social skills rapidly (and i don't care if it is gonna be tough, embarrassing, painful or uncomfortable in an other way)?

This is, for all intents and purposes, a duplicate thread.

Please see:
/thread-14936.html
and
/thread-14679-...#pid243777

Post: #11

Yo,

I was in your situation now 3y ago... No friends, no girls, social anxiety, non-existing social skills... Now I recognize that this problem was mainly cultural and environmental. German people are VERY, VERY social circle oriented and if you had bad luck in your childhood/adolescence about falling out of social groups you're pretty much fucked. Everything comes down to those first weeks when you went to a new school. Reflect where your problem originates.

Now I'm still a loner without much friends, I have some pussy under my belt and I'm far, far more comfortable. But only god knows how much work I have put into this. For me it has been 3y of damage-control. Everybody is far ahead from you and you want to "get by" while everybody else is still "progressing". These are my tips:

First thing U need to do is "swallow the red pill". Go to blogs like roosh, chateau heartiste, rationalmale. Read it. Accept how human social nature works. Read roissy's "16 commandments of poon", and his "maxim's rules". This is pretty much everything you'll need. LIVE BY IT !!

Put some time and money into a new style. U will have to try and experiment to find your own style. Don't listen to ANYBODY. Your environment will try to push you back into your cage. If you have some gay male friends, listen to them 4 style advice.

Stop watching TV and playing computergames. After a while I recognized that I tried to get an "identity" out of the series/movies I watched and the games I played. It's false sense of "think u're important". Everybody fucking else watches that shit.

Read some selfhelp stuff: "the power of now", "48 laws of power". There is an excellent book out there "how to get people to like you" or something. Iceberg slims's books about pimping are also good.

Talk to people everywhere and anywhere you can. For Germans this is the biggest challenge due to the strong clique-mentality.

Face it that you want to get better social skills because you want pussy. Very legit. Girls are naturally attracted to guys who have much respect from their social group.

If you want pussy, read rooshv's books, try to get everything of 60y of challenge, DavidX and ModeOne. Especially DavidX's stuff is highly recommended. Don't expect this pickupstuff to work good in germany. Try to get together with some dudes and travel to hungary, romania, poland, lithuania.

If you never had woman.... consider paying 4 it a few times to get comfortable. Go to FKK clubs (they are everywhere in germany). There the girls want to seduce YOU into fucking them. Go there only to talk to the girls (eating/drinking/sauna is included in the price). Ask them about their personal life, interests, hobbies, education... If you cannot resist, fuck them.

Go out. Bars, clubs... follow roosh's advice. Consider starting to smoke (don't inhale) because it's easier to talk to people. APPROACH !!!

Post: #12

Get yourself a gym membership lad. Your confidence will naturally grow over time without you even realising it.

Post: #13

Get a job as a telemarketer. Focus on being charming on the phone.

Post: #14

Marcellus, dont forget the Iron Rules of Tomassi.

Post: #15

there is no shortcut to improving social skills. people say bad things about you behind your back and make fun of you while ur learning. not give up stay strong

Post: #16

and most importantly keep your eyes And your ears open at all times

Post: #17

I often find that the things I'm learning now and the paonful epiphanies I feel like I should have learned way back in high school rather than my late twenty's.

Post: #18

like last night, i got this chick over who i met briefly at a bar. traded numbers. finally met up. had a beer then went back to my place. railed some molly.

i tried all these rvf moves, nothing worked other than makeouts..."I dont know you, I don't know you well enough." Yeah, I wasn't cool enough, didn't know my game enough. It was all good though.

Then this morning right on the comedown she says she wants to go to fucking IHOP. I'm like, I'm getting kinda bored at this place, OK. I'm coming down hard. Feel like shit. The girl's handling it a lot better.

As soon as we enter the IHOP, this 300 lbs black waitress who seats us, well she thinks I'm out of it, and she goes to the girl, "Girl, i hope this boy has a 15 inch cock for you to be hanging out with this sad piece of shit." For real, no joke.

Now, I got fucking eagle ears, and that shit got me bad. Already in the comedown. We sat down. Girls, cunning as they are, kept asking me what's wrong. I shrugged a couple times, "nothing, nothing." Finally, I go, "I heard what that fat nigger bitch said about my cock and my presence of mind." Then I told her we gotta get outta there.

Went to McD's drive through. Came back to my apt. I played guitar. I don't know what the fuck she was doing.

But anyway, people are cruel. That shit hits you - was it your overall being, or just the temporary state that the bitch is insulting you about. A combination of both.

Should I cut my hair? Look like every other conservative motherfuckin yuppie? Should I laugh at jokes that are stupid as fuck just to fucking fit in? Should I power through this like fucking ironman and build my own army.

Why do I oscillate to semi-alpha to beta momma's boy? Is it the drugs? Sure, some of it. But more than that. What's wrong. Why can't I be like everyone else (many unathletic and somewhat slobby) laughing with a ton of friends at a bar like its the time of their life.

Then there's me. People are cruel.

Was nietzche right? "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

Does it matter? What the fuck is money? What the fuck is the purpose of it all?

To fuck sluts and have kids? It's that what I'm supposed to fucking do? That's the grand motherfucking purpose. Fuck. I see where the comedy plays into this.

It's a bitter pill. But it's addictive. I want more. But I want it without the return to baseline and the extreme downs that overshadow the ups.

Post: #19

http://www.succeedsocially.com

This guy went through the whole process and has many, many resources in his website.

Post: #20

Want to improve your social skills? Practice!

Put yourself in social situations!

Do every -fucking-thing you possibly can!

Talk more
Approach more girls
Give speeches
Read game literature
Dress better

Take advantage of every social opportunity.

Day game
Night game
On line game

It will all help you! Start with the easiest and most simple of all of this. Talk to to 5 strangers today. Make sure 3 of them are women.

Talk, talk, talk!

Post: #21

If you were happy with your life you wouldn't have posted this problem in the order place!

Go out and talk to people, put yourself in awkwar situations for an introvert.

1. Public speaking classes
2. Drama clubs (forced acting)
3. Dancing (sober)

Socialize socialize socialize.

Post: #22

One tip from me: Don't be afraid of new experiences! When you encounter something: a hot chick, a school social, a club, etc - don't be afraid of going in balls deep and just talk to them!

Experience builds confidence. An inexperienced man is never confident. Thirst for new experiences and adventures.

Post: #23

i'd say just jump straight into cold approach. the high-volume, high pressure, consequence-free interactions will serve to give your conversational skills a kick in the butt.

Post: #24

(11-16-2012 10:32 AM)Private Man Wrote:  http://www.succeedsocially.com

This guy went through the whole process and has many, many resources in his website.

That site looks good. I need to check it out from a computer.

Post: #25

First thing you want to do is go out!