Post: #1

I think this escalating fast PUA mindset really fucked up my game.

I am sure there are other factors I couldn't realize that made her not to respond too. So I can't just blame on pua thing alone.

But every time I hear 'are you kidding? bang her asap' I am really curious if these guys are doing well with those tactics.

I am an average horny guy. Sure if a girl shows all the signs that she wants to keep going further, I wouldn't stop there. But if I am going to kill the chance of getting to know her (future bangs) because I tried to cuddle or kiss with her, I think that's like getting rid of your car for $500 right now (you would get more than twice if you waited for the right buyer)

Girl 1: she works next door. we've been seeing each other's face more than a year. I finally asked her to grab a coffee. we decided to take a walk after a coffee. I stopped and gave her a hug. she grabbed me too and we were looking at each other. I went in for the kiss. kissing part went well. I thought I did well. She acted awkward when we ran into each other. so that was the end.

Girl 2: met her at the club. she held my hand for a while so I knew she wouldn't flake. met at the bar. I put my hand on her waist and her shoulder. that was it. didn't go for the good bye kiss. I thought everything went fine. didn't hear from her.

Girl 3: as soon as I approached her at a bar, she showed a lot of interest by asking many personal questions. she is a very good girl. just got her number in front of her friends, hugged and left. we met at the coffee shop. we decided to walk after talking a lot. I decided to grab her hand. After little bit she moved her hand by saying 'it's too soon'
Before grabbing her hand, everything was ok, we were talking and laughing. right after that, she went just cold. I asked her about the weekend and she said she would be working.

This could sound ridiculous because those weren't sexual (grabbing her boobs or ass, touching inner thigh, biting her neck)
But I think, by trying to touch them, I gave off 'too eager' 'desperate' vibe. I don't know if other experienced guys could do the same thing without giving desperate vibes.

I am not sure if there is a such thing 'bang her asap'
how can she move forward if she is not emotionally ready?

would you buy something just because a sales person pressures you hard? You could go home, think about it and come back to buy it.
But if you felt pressured, you would never come back?

Post: #2

(11-10-2012 12:27 AM)Sebastian Wrote:  I think this escalating fast PUA mindset really fucked up my game.

I am sure there are other factors I couldn't realize that made her not to respond too. So I can't just blame on pua thing alone.

But every time I hear 'are you kidding? bang her asap' I am really curious if these guys are doing well with those tactics.

I am an average horny guy. Sure if a girl shows all the signs that she wants to keep going further, I wouldn't stop there. But if I am going to kill the chance of getting to know her (future bangs) because I tried to cuddle or kiss with her, I think that's like getting rid of your car for $500 right now (you would get more than twice if you waited for the right buyer)

Girl 1: she works next door. we've been seeing each other's face more than a year. I finally asked her to grab a coffee. we decided to take a walk after a coffee. I stopped and gave her a hug. she grabbed me too and we were looking at each other. I went in for the kiss. kissing part went well. I thought I did well. She acted awkward when we ran into each other. so that was the end.

Girl 2: met her at the club. she held my hand for a while so I knew she wouldn't flake. met at the bar. I put my hand on her waist and her shoulder. that was it. didn't go for the good bye kiss. I thought everything went fine. didn't hear from her.

Girl 3: as soon as I approached her at a bar, she showed a lot of interest by asking many personal questions. she is a very good girl. just got her number in front of her friends, hugged and left. we met at the coffee shop. we decided to walk after talking a lot. I decided to grab her hand. After little bit she moved her hand by saying 'it's too soon'
Before grabbing her hand, everything was ok, we were talking and laughing. right after that, she went just cold. I asked her about the weekend and she said she would be working.

This could sound ridiculous because those weren't sexual (grabbing her boobs or ass, touching inner thigh, biting her neck)
But I think, by trying to touch them, I gave off 'too eager' 'desperate' vibe. I don't know if other experienced guys could do the same thing without giving desperate vibes.

I am not sure if there is a such thing 'bang her asap'
how can she move forward if she is not emotionally ready?

would you buy something just because a sales person pressures you hard? You could go home, think about it and come back to buy it.
But if you felt pressured, you would never come back?

I finally asked her to grab a coffee. we decided to take a walk after a coffee. From what I have read from the senior members after the make-out you have to go in for the lay as quickly as possible so judging by the coffee date the logistics where not in place where sex could happen

Girl 2: met her at the club. she held my hand for a while so I knew she wouldn't flake. met at the bar. I put my hand on her waist and her shoulder. that was it. didn't go for the good bye kiss. I thought everything went fine. didn't hear from her.- Never hesitate to escalate. If she is giving signs of clear interest like the hand holding then go for it. If you hold hands and fail to close then you will end up losing out.

I decided to grab her hand. After little bit she moved her hand by saying 'it's too soon' Did you build kino before going for the hand? That might have made things awkward. Also I prefer not to hold hands before the lay unless I am guiding her somewhere.

Always push for sex. You never know when you will get another chance to see a girl. Start building with kino /search.php?ac...order=desc) and make sure logistics are set so you can get her to a secure location to properly escalate to sex.

Post: #3

Just from how you've written about those examples I can tell that your physical escalation is coming across very awkwardly to these girls.

Taking a walk after a coffee date, suddenly stopping and giving the girl a hug, "looking at each other" then trying to kiss her? Not exactly casanova style there.

It sounds like you need to do a better job at building attraction before you attempt to escalate physically.

Post: #4

Sebastian I think hardcore escalation is best suited to clubs for the most part and it works very well for guys like me who go for the bang every night. I have absolute no interest in numbers and in my 21 years, out of my 32 bangs one was from a number and she may have flaked had i not gone back out to the club, fucked her Brazilian friend, who then told her while mentioning some favourable things about my cock.

This guy is all about escalating hard. I advise you check his stuff out.

http://www.puamarketing.com/dating-artic...ual-state/


Also expect to get rejected more with direct game but once you get good at calibrating how a girls feeling and have a good amount of reference points for seeing how far you can push for it you will get far more bangs than an indirect style particuarly with nightgame.

Indirect game can be a smart move for girls that have higher shields but it can also a serious barrier for men who have issues with rejection.

Post: #5

One of my friends puts his hand on a girl's waist AS SOON AS they start talking with him. They often push it away and it makes it awkward - I've even heard them verbally tell him not to touch them.

He's great at physical escalation when he doesn't jump the gun. He gets laid a lot, but I think he could pull higher-quality women if he toned it down. I've mentioned it to him a couple times and he's noticed it too, so he's trying to pull it back a little bit and adjust his game out of the gate.

Physical escalation should really start out slow. I always test out with simple shit like a prolonged handshake that is near hand-holding while I"m talking to her (usually only if it's obvious she's intrigued by me), a playful hug, or putting my hand on their upper arm when I'm leaning in to listen to something they're saying or getting their attention, etc.

You can usually judge how things are going by how they react to these. Keep with the light stuff for a while until she starts doing it back - and then you can start to escalate it from there.

When I see a guy escalating too fast he just comes across as over-eager.

EDIT: I just read the above post after I finished mine. I'll add that it's very much a matter of style too - some guys can definitely pull it off and are comfortable with pushing, pushing, pushing until something gives and they get the bang. That works well for some but has never been my style.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #6

there are lots of little things you can do to ramp up the physical contact.

sit beside her at the bar. your shoulders start to bump and rub, then maybe your legs, before you know it you are holding hands.

on first dates I venue bounce girls to a bar where we can play pool. I bump her out of the way when it's my turn, touch her to help her with her form, etc.

seriously all it takes is a commitment to escalate, the right venues, and alcohol, and it almost happens on its own.

I was on a first date a few weeks back and while waiting in line to get into the bar, she stood so close to me that our shoulders were touching. she was basically green lighting me to escalate. we were all over each other by the time we got to the 3rd bar.

Post: #7

I think there are things I think I am doing ok but it really turns them off.
The thing is you can never ask 'hey what did I do wrong?'

I think I will try 'nice guy' game from now on. I will just talk to them without touching them at all and act like I am more interested in getting to know them than getting into their pants.
Maybe I have this 'gentleman look' on my face and it turns them off as I try to escalate? lol
I lost too many girls even after heavily making out with them and they enjoyed it. I think I should experiment totally different approach instead of doing the same thing over and over.

Girl 3 had a lot of interest in me. asking about my future and all other background question with 'interested eyes'. I didn't even think about good bye kiss since we met at lunch time. holding hands was the least thing I could do to feel some connection. anyways, this girl went silent.
would it be creepy to explain about my 'innocent intention'? I know it is but I can't think of anything else. this girl is hard to come by. pretty and very good girl who had a lot of interest in me.

Post: #8

I remembered some of the insights from this writing. It really made sense to me.
I don't know about 'secret society' but here is the part I want to share.
(the whole thing is at /thread-9533.h...et+society)

THE UNDERLYING MISUNDERSTOOD TRUTH OF THE SECRET SOCIETY:

The 49% of men who live outside of the secret society don’t understand the mental model of attraction of people who are in the secret society.

Men view attraction in their MALE MENTAL MODELS. They believe that attraction is “sexual aggression”. They understand attraction as having a physical urge to have sex, and then mentally deciding that you will go after it.

They try to seduce women by touching and grabbing them, and getting them very horny. They try to seduce them in the SAME WAY that a woman would do well seducing THEM. They try to seduce them as if they were seducing a GUY. This sometimes works, and the propaganda is spread – “this is how to get chicks”.

Secret society members will not fill them in, due to breach of the code.

What the secret society members are not telling you, is that they understand that most sex occurs when women are not sexually AGGRESSIVE, but sexually RECEPTIVE.

They understand that for women to be ready for sex, they need not feel horny, they need only feel EMOTIONAL.

Post: #9

Listen man, you can avoid 99% of escalation mistakes by following one simple rule:


Don't escalate until you've got her in a sex location.

Unnecessary esclation outside of a sex location makes her feel uncomfortable and ruins your chances of getting laid.


It's okay to go for a kiss during night game when you meet her at a club, but for first-date bangs there's no point in trying to escalate mid date. Save all the escalation moves until the very end when you've got her back in your apartment.

Read this for more detail:

/thread-8681.html

Post: #10

Samseau is bang on correct. If she likes you then shell come round, then game on.