Post: #1

So this weekend I hit a party and this girl was pretty much as obviously interested in me as possible. My mate kept telling me she was eyeing me. About 20 minutes later I stepped out to smoke a cigarette and she quickly followed after. At this point I hadn't talked to her yet. So she follows me out, asks if I got a light, and we start talking. She then starts telling me that I'm good looking and comes all the way close to me and touches my shoulder etc. Yet still I manage to screw it up. It shouldn't be possible.

She got the impression that I was real closed-up and shit, which is true. About a couple of years ago I got out of a relationship with a batshit crazy girl, and ever since that, I sort of closed myself in, and since then I've got a hard time establishing social ties with new people. I've come to the realization that I don't wanna live this way and I'm slowly trying to get back to the social, fun guy I used to be. This weekend I even approached girls in the club, which would be highly unlikely just a month ago. I'm getting there, but its taking time.

The thing is though, I have trouble finding out what to talk to the girls about. I make them laugh and say a lot of shit, but its usually left at that level. I don't know how to escalate it from just being funny to going any further. Have anyone here had similar experiences, and if so, how did you beat it?

Post: #2

Years ago, took trial and error and lots of reading sites like this and going out there and practicising. One thing is don't be a performing clown/bear, you're not there to make everyone laugh, you're not the entertainment.

Post: #3

A new year is starting. You can start a new project that really motivates you and makes you a better man. Then everything will fall into place...

Post: #4

That was actually good advice, guys.

I'm trying to follow the Roosh program to boost my confidence, started a work-out routine and got my hand on some game material. Hopefully I'll notice some progress in the coming months!

Post: #5

you can probably find some good wingmen in Norway... where are you?

Post: #6

(01-14-2013 04:44 PM)freshcream Wrote:  you can probably find some good wingmen in Norway... where are you?

I'm in Oslo, the capital..

Post: #7

If you have problems with what to talk about, just ask them random questions. Like seriously random questions but ones that will open them up to you. Favourite childhood memory, what did you want to be when you grew up, what's the most interesting thing you've done. That sort of thing because they're really easy to neg and she will ask you the same questions back which gives you the chance to DHV yourself massively.

She asks you back what did you want to be when you grew up, say something alpha. "I wanted to be a professional fighter, I used to train a lot as a kid and I stood out from the other kids in school because I was muscly and bigger than the others, and knew how to fight. I got injured and can't do it competitively anymore but I still train to keep in shape and I know how to defend myself if the situation arises". That's hamster food right there.

Read up on stacking in conversations, that's basically what you need to do in conversation. Pick up on buzz words and relate it to yourself to DHV yourself. She likes exploring new places to eat? That's great, I took 3 of my friends to a Lebanese restaurant last week. They were really apprehensive about food they've never had before but at the end of the night they were asking me when we can next go.

You just need to put a few things out there to get her head spinning and she will do the rest. Remember, it's a conversation. A lot of guys worry that they have to do the talking and entertaining as if you're in an interview. She will react to what you say and it builds from there. Sometimes less is more, sometimes you need to big yourself up.

Learn some conversation topics and some stories to DHV yourself if you genuinely don't have any so you're prepared when the time comes. I find that saying just the right thing will get her doing most of the talking and qualifying so its easy.

I wouldn't recommend it as a constant, but get yourself on okcupid if you're not and just start talking to girls to get used to interacting with them if its been a while and you're rusty. Don't use this as your game option though, just use it as a foundation.

Post: #8

^I agree with a lot of that, but don't do this...

(01-14-2013 08:21 PM)MattC Wrote:  She asks you back what did you want to be when you grew up, say something alpha. "I wanted to be a professional fighter, I used to train a lot as a kid and I stood out from the other kids in school because I was muscly and bigger than the others, and knew how to fight. I got injured and can't do it competitively anymore but I still train to keep in shape and I know how to defend myself if the situation arises". That's hamster food right there.

Or this...

Quote:I wouldn't recommend it as a constant, but get yourself on okcupid if you're not and just start talking to girls to get used to interacting with them if its been a while and you're rusty. Don't use this as your game option though, just use it as a foundation.

If you need to lie to make yourself sound interesting, most girls are going to see right through it, and unless they're extremely interested, you'll lose your fish. As for using the internet to build confidence to have interactions with people: JUST DON'T!


My advice is this:

1. Talk to everyone you meet, just smile at girls that you see on the street, in public, wherever. Say "Hello", etc and just be conversational with everyone else, so you build comfort in just shooting the shit at any time.

2. Next time you're out, forget about this incident. Yep, you fucked up, and from the way you tell your story you probably had a chance to bang this girl. But, maybe she had herpes or some less offensive STD, and you lucked out by not sticking your dick in her. Why not look at it that way? At the very least, don't repeat your mistake.

3. When all else fails, just make observations about your environment, be it people, the music, some couple making out in the corner, whatever, there's tons of things that are constantly going on around you in the bar/party scene, you just have to sharpen your mind to the point you can pick out what you need and ramble about it, until she says something else you can work with.

4. Above all else, do it for your dick. When you mentally step back and ask yourself, "Will my dick be happy with me tomorrow?" You start making a lot more direct choices, that either get you laid, or push the situation to where you know there was nothing else you could've done that night.

Post: #9

This sounds like a personal space issue to me.

Focus the conversation on something she's wearing and physically hold it.

Post: #10

I’ve made all these mistakes before and I still blow them from time to time. She caught you off-guard. You weren’t expecting her to game you. You were probably thinking about how you should break the ice.

Handling the compliment is easy though. Do not appear overly flattered like it never happens but also know how to accept one. Your response to her compliment should show her that you are a fun guy who does not take himself too seriously. If she tells you that you are good-looking, you can say, “It’s a mask, but thank you”. Just an example. And then don’t linger on the compliment whatsoever.

From then on, she will expect you to create the conversation with her but you know already that a) she wants to talk with you and b) she will probably help you out with the conversation when it stalls. You get better at conversation through practice like anything else. For right now, it probably wouldn’t hurt to have some reliable staples and topics to turn to when it dies out. And always go for the close with a girl who is/was into you, bang or number.

Post: #11

"I'm in Oslo, the capital.."

Then you could probably get some guys to help you out there. The gaming community is huge there.

Check out: http://forum.pua-norge.no/ if you haven't already.

I'm norwegian myself and have met up with some of the people there.

When I first discovered PUA I was so lucky to have 3 friends that were really into it as well. We started a little group where we discussed certain things. Then we just played FIFA or poker, had a few drinks and went out to game.

It was a really good time. Learned a lot of stuff. Eventually we all had our little harem and didn't have time for these groups anymore. It evolved from studying PUA to having GAME. No more gimmicks.

Post: #12

(01-14-2013 08:28 AM)shiznit Wrote:  The thing is though, I have trouble finding out what to talk to the girls about. I make them laugh and say a lot of shit, but its usually left at that level. I don't know how to escalate it from just being funny to going any further. Have anyone here had similar experiences, and if so, how did you beat it?

Just talk about whatever comes to your mind. I find that it's best to not talk about yourself personally. You can throw in some anecdotes from your life if it's relevant to the conversation just to show you can relate.

To escalate from being a funny entertainer, some keys: show sexual intent both or either physically and verbally, tease her (so key), make moves and see if you get compliance and get her to invest. For example, ask her to come somewhere with you.

The past year I've gone out something like 4-5 nights a week on average and my game has got so much better, I really don't think there's a better way to get good at this than going out all the time and doing shit that's out of your comfort zone.

Post: #13

Thanks for all the replies. You guys have been more than helpful.

Post: #14

(01-14-2013 08:28 AM)shiznit Wrote:  The thing is though, I have trouble finding out what to talk to the girls about. I make them laugh and say a lot of shit, but its usually left at that level.

check VERBALS link in my signature.

(01-14-2013 08:28 AM)shiznit Wrote:  I don't know how to escalate it from just being funny to going any further. Have anyone here had similar experiences, and if so, how did you beat it?

/thread-19192-...#pid344370

Post: #15

(01-14-2013 08:28 AM)shiznit Wrote:  So this weekend I hit a party and this girl was pretty much as obviously interested in me as possible. My mate kept telling me she was eyeing me. About 20 minutes later I stepped out to smoke a cigarette and she quickly followed after. At this point I hadn't talked to her yet. So she follows me out, asks if I got a light, and we start talking. She then starts telling me that I'm good looking and comes all the way close to me and touches my shoulder etc. Yet still I manage to screw it up. It shouldn't be possible.

She got the impression that I was real closed-up and shit, which is true. About a couple of years ago I got out of a relationship with a batshit crazy girl, and ever since that, I sort of closed myself in, and since then I've got a hard time establishing social ties with new people. I've come to the realization that I don't wanna live this way and I'm slowly trying to get back to the social, fun guy I used to be. This weekend I even approached girls in the club, which would be highly unlikely just a month ago. I'm getting there, but its taking time.

The thing is though, I have trouble finding out what to talk to the girls about. I make them laugh and say a lot of shit, but its usually left at that level. I don't know how to escalate it from just being funny to going any further. Have anyone here had similar experiences, and if so, how did you beat it?

I have a similar problem, except it's with freezing when it comes to escalation. Only thing I can recommend is practice.

Post: #16

If you lose the ability to hit the ball go to the batting cages.