Post: #1

Life of Beta
by
Uncle Urkle

Geek Chorus:

This! Now unfolding! Truth shrouded in fiction.
An existential diatribe not founded on the practice of confession but freedom.
The freedom to be known!
The freedom to be unknown.
Freedom from the known?
Yes! Now that is a pursuit worthy of The Alpha and Omega indeed.
Forget everything.
Shoot for the stars.
Start from the beginning.
Go out for cigarettes.
Recreate history in your own image.
Act now!
You are free.
Strike!
The iron is hot.

Prologue:

So I am sitting here thinking, on this, the sixteenth-thousandth-four-hundredth-and-twenty-fifth day of my life that I have in no uncertain terms squandered my youth, talents, personal wealth and potential for greatness by living a life of beta. Mainly, I have denied game and its relationship to making vast amounts of cash and obtaining high caliber notches. But today I acknowledge my loser status and the truth has set me free for I now accept the love of game into my heart and love is like a flower, it must be watered. This ode to game is my water. So do not fret Mr. Dancer, it is true, my walk is sad but the rhythm is upbeat and futuristic in its approach.

Act I.

A year ago my life was shattered in an instant. In a single second I went from sheer bliss to suicidal tendencies. I cannot believe how quickly I fell apart under real hardcore pressure. I always fancied my self tough, a survivor, an alpha of sorts. However, this event quickly vanquished that delusion by revealing the true beta within.

Sure, I’m being a bit hard on myself. My game is semi-tight and I’ve had some great alpha moments. Most people probably wouldn’t describe me as being a pussy or anything. But I got my shit rocked, brought to my knees, and to tell you the truth I’ve had trouble getting back up. But it’s time. I gotta’ move on. I gotta’ rise like the phoenix from the ashes. I gotta’ tighten up my game.

Act II.

Humans are unique among the species (with the exceptions of octopi, chimpanzees and dolphins) in their ability to think about what they are thinking about. In other words we humans have the ability to choose (or not to choose) to think about thought. This unique ability has driven many a human insane thus making it a severe disability for some. Or as an old friend of mine once said, “Drinking and thinking is worse than drinking and driving.” True that. This ability to cognitively reflect also led some dude back in Greek times to postulate, “I think, therefore I am.” Philosophically speaking I tend to agree with this adage but in my daily rituals and actions I have not always practiced what I preach. For example, I know that when I think negative thoughts I become negative (and therefore beta) but I continue down this path nonetheless. A true hypocrite indeed.

So what I’m trying to get at here is that in any given moment each and every one of us has the freedom to recreate his reality simply by choosing life over the ever-present option of suicide. If you are confused and miserable and broke and ugly and old and you hate the president and the direction the country is headed then you can always put an end to your misery by busting out a gun and firing it directly into the back of your throat. Now that’s what I call power. But if you choose life then you must take responsibility for that choice, for that life, and everything it represents, both good and bad. No blaming your parents or the government or “those people” or the economy or saying “I was drunk” or “It was an accident” or “I didn’t mean to“ or “I’m too young for elderly bang” or “I’m too old for over the hill game” or any of those other horse shit excuses. Quit blaming others for your shitty decisions, circumstances and state(s) of mind and get on with the task at hand, mainly: Attaining unlimited amounts of happiness and good times by making serious cash and banging hot chicks.

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” – Marcus Aurelius

Act III.

In terms of cash and hot chick notches my life thus far has been too random and disorganized for it to add up to much. But it’s never too late to learn. So right here, right now, I’m swallowing the red pill. From this day forward I vow to die unto my beta past. Call it a mid-life crisis if you will, whatever, I could give a fuck, because starting right now I am going to recreate my future by transcending that past. I’m going to forget my age, my style, my opinions, my dislikes, my successes, my failures, everything. You’ve heard of training the body? I’m talking about training the mind. I’m talkin’ about over the hill game, the game of transforming one’s self from an aging beta into a younger looking alpha via intention, hard work, exercise, diet, freewill, the mastering of cold approach and the emptying of mind.

This transformation begins with a re-reading (and practicing) of Roosh’s theories of Bang, the delaying of gratification, serious gym rat mode, and a thematic understanding of the now infamous Opposite George episode of Seinfeld. In this episode, as you may recall, George’s life starts “magically” going perfectly (he gets his dream job with the Yankees, meets a hot chick, etc.) because he begins to act, say, and do everything that is exactly the opposite of his every instinct and desire. This is a technique I intend to employ. So welcome to my new life. The life of Opposite Urkle.

So what is an “opposite” Urkle? Well, the opposite of Game Denialist is Game Acceptor. The opposite of being an introvert is to be an extrovert. The opposite of being negative is being positive. The opposite of having a little money is to have a lot of money. The opposite of a long haired beach bum surfer dude living in a van down by the river masturbating in isolation in the woods with negligible amounts of cash, poor Spanish, and a history of banging 7’s is a clean cut stylish business man in a suit gallivanting around Bogotá rolling dolo with a stash of cash while hyper-networking in a well connected social circle cold approaching 10’s and closing in conversational Spanish. And the opposite of thinking obsessively about age is to transcend age by cultivating youthful vibe and running extremely tight over the hill game.

So from this day forward, till death do us part, I will be my opposite self and the opposite of beta is alpha.

Epilogue:

Do not squander your youth. You only get one shot at this. Don’t fuck it up. Make cash now. Slay pussy and party later. Do as I say not as I did or quite possibly you too will wake up one day at 45 and find yourself sitting alone and broke and writing stupid shit like this.

I’ll keep you posted on my adventures in over the hill game and elderly bang.

And remember… it’s never too late for the game.

Thanks to all Roosh V forumers for all of your support, breakdowns, data sheets, tips, questionable theories, and dumb ideas like posting pics of chicks you’ve banged. I love you guys.

Bang on,

Uncle Purps


THE END

Post: #2

Decent manifesto. Well written. You're on a tear. Don't stop.