Post: #1

I'm sure this must be a common problem but I couldn't find a thread dedicated to it.

My harem of 3 just collapsed. Had a messy falling out with the main girl. No problem I thought, #2 and #3 are always happy to hear from me. Total radio silence. Not a huge loss but for some reason I'm really bummed out. Even people at work have noticed I'm not my usual chipper self.

I've been following the usual routine: hitting the gym hard (set a pr deadlift of 350 lbs), hitting on everything with tits, hanging and talking with my buddies, but I'm still in a funk.

I got a couple of numbers, one from a 24yd PR 8.5 with an ass that belongs in the AU thread. But my heart just isn't in it. I'm having a hard time visualizing taking her out and seducing her. It just doesn't excite me and seems like a lot of work.

How do you guys deal with losing motivation after a harem collapse? I'd hate to be blowing it with new girls because my mind is still mourning the old ones.

Post: #2

I don't know what to say other than plow through. It sucks when you are in a lull but it's part of the game. I guess just knowing that it will get better keeps me going.

Also, I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with you but if your happiness is that much defined by whether or not you have a girl then you might need to look internally.

Post: #3

Prevent it from happening in the first place:

Always Drink Fresh Blood

Post: #4

(04-04-2013 09:03 AM)gandt Wrote:  Also, I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with you but if your happiness is that much defined by whether or not you have a girl then you might need to look internally.

This is really the crux of the problem for me personally. I have a huge problem when women leave me, even if its a girl I don't really care much about. Spinning plates works ok until they all collapse.

To G's point, this is a major stumbling block for me. Once I meet a good main girl my drive to go meet other chicks plumits. I'll maintain the ones I'm seeing but not be trying hard enough on new girls. Something to work on.

Post: #5

It's natural to feel down when you get cut off from several relationships in a short period of time-especially if they were girls you really liked. Nobody likes rejection and multiple rejections are going to really be disheartening.

You really just have to plow through-I find in three weeks or so I'm feeling better and ready to start gaming hard again

Post: #6

Embrace the downess.

Time heals.

You'll be stronger that ever in a couple weeks.

Post: #7

I'm going through similar, especially the main girl who I really did care about quite a bit. You have to maintain a positive outlook like you are and keep trying to get past it. Time will help you past it, but your mindset is key.

Post: #8

(04-04-2013 09:39 AM)Ensam Wrote:  

(04-04-2013 09:03 AM)gandt Wrote:  Also, I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with you but if your happiness is that much defined by whether or not you have a girl then you might need to look internally.

This is really the crux of the problem for me personally. I have a huge problem when women leave me, even if its a girl I don't really care much about. Spinning plates works ok until they all collapse.

To G's point, this is a major stumbling block for me. Once I meet a good main girl my drive to go meet other chicks plumits. I'll maintain the ones I'm seeing but not be trying hard enough on new girls. Something to work on.

Yeah, always spend at least one night per week in generating fresh leads.

Post: #9

Girls come and go.

Mojo is forever.

Nothing should be able to shake your inner peace and inner confidence.

You have given away all your power to these 3 girls.

Take your power back, you control your mojo!

Stop giving it away.

You are being overly dramatic.

Be a man. Get up and move on.

Take a break from girls and get your shit together.

Post: #10

First thing is to recognize that it might be some subconscious thing that you are doing that broke it up.

Accept that, and accept that you might be giving out bad vibes. If this is the case, don't expect the same kind of power you just had.

Whatever happens, make sure that you own your shit and that the self image you have of yourself in your mind lines up with how you are being perceived in reality.

Post: #11

(04-04-2013 01:11 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  Girls come and go.

Mojo is forever.

Nothing should be able to shake your inner peace and inner confidence.

You have given away all your power to these 3 girls.

Take your power back, you control your mojo!

Stop giving it away.

You are being overly dramatic.

Be a man. Get up and move on.

Take a break from girls and get your shit together.

Yeah.

And don't forget to listen to this song:

Post: #12

I am completely different. I take a week off totally from game.

Hit the gym, smoke some dope weed, bump some tracks and watch some movies.

If you live near the beach or great outdoors, spend time outside.'

Embrace the down-ness and reinforce "AND this too shall pass". Then the following week, hit the grindstone hard, preferably with a few drinks.

Post: #13

(04-04-2013 03:09 PM)DVY Wrote:  I am completely different. I take a week off totally from game.

Hit the gym, smoke some dope weed, bump some tracks and watch some movies.

If you live near the beach or great outdoors, spend time outside.'

Embrace the down-ness and reinforce "AND this too shall pass". Then the following week, hit the grindstone hard, preferably with a few drinks.

This.

Take a week off and nurture your mojo!

G,

Great song!

Post: #14

Rally back, Bro. Step in. Take charge. Harems can be replaced. The additional effort required is just a minor set-back. Do work. Time to batten the hatches and recruit new talent, if need be. Back to work... Re-establish...

Let's get things back in our favor. The harem's not squashed, it just needs some new additions. Don't focus on the exiting chicks. Let them go and move on. Instead of investing your time in reparations, focus on new developments. Dig deep. Drive on.

Post: #15

I am in the same boat. I had a rotation of three that just collapsed at the same time two days ago, but I contacted one that I had on reserve. She was happy to hear from me and is coming through tomorrow and I have another date on Sunday with a prospect I haven't had time to close.

When you have your rotation, it is easy to lose focus and not game. Even if you are happy, always game just game less. Keep reserves if possible. Some old pvssy you use to smash or old prospects you stopped contacting. Be open to online game. If you put 3-5 hours in during a week, you could end up with a new notch. Never stop daygaming. Grocery store, campus, lunch/happyhour, mall. It isn't shit to open on a new lizard. You never know what may come out of a compliment/approach.

I thought I was good with three and got a bit lazy. Collapse happened but I have reserves ready to hit the frontline. Plan your attack and make sure this doesn't happen again.

Go get that rotation back.

Post: #16

Sometimes, I actually hope that my harem will collapse so I can start again with a fresh set of girls.

My mojo actually increases when that happens because, well, it has to. I have no other choice.

Self doubt is not an option.

Post: #17

(04-04-2013 03:39 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  Sometimes, I actually hope that my harem will collapse so I can start again with a fresh set of girls.

My mojo actually increases when that happens because, well, it has to. I have no other choice.

Self doubt is not an option.

Post: #18

(04-04-2013 09:39 AM)Ensam Wrote:  

(04-04-2013 09:03 AM)gandt Wrote:  Also, I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with you but if your happiness is that much defined by whether or not you have a girl then you might need to look internally.

This is really the crux of the problem for me personally. I have a huge problem when women leave me, even if its a girl I don't really care much about. Spinning plates works ok until they all collapse.

To G's point, this is a major stumbling block for me. Once I meet a good main girl my drive to go meet other chicks plumits. I'll maintain the ones I'm seeing but not be trying hard enough on new girls. Something to work on.

I can totally relate to what you're saying- here and the initial post. My current harem of 4 is pretty so-so, but I'm more invested in the "main girl" than I should be.

Post: #19

(04-04-2013 08:57 AM)Ensam Wrote:  I got a couple of numbers, one from a 24yd PR 8.5 with an ass that belongs in the AU thread. But my heart just isn't in it. I'm having a hard time visualizing taking her out and seducing her. It just doesn't excite me and seems like a lot of work.

You think she's out of your league, so in your mind, you think "why play a game that I can't win?"

Post: #20

(04-04-2013 05:52 PM)jariel Wrote:  You think she's out of your league, so in your mind, you think "why play a game that I can't win?"

Good point. I can smash her. I'm gonna start the text game tonight.

Post: #21

(04-04-2013 06:07 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

(04-04-2013 05:52 PM)jariel Wrote:  You think she's out of your league, so in your mind, you think "why play a game that I can't win?"

Good point. I can smash her. I'm gonna start the text game tonight.

Don't f*ck around.

Seize the day.

Call instead.

Post: #22

Too late. Her accent is a bitch to understand anyway.

It's just not my fucking night. Gym fucked up my billing and wont let me work out. Maybe I should just take the rest of the week off. Surf's up this weekend.

Post: #23

Harem collapse is just another form of rejection. Rejection is just a giant shit-test.

Post: #24

I also just lost my harem of three. I'll be in the gym tomorrow, have a social event with lots of sluts Saturday, and a date set up for next week. The harem is dead. Long live the harem.

Post: #25

PR chick bit the hook. Reeling her in. Thanks for the advice guys. Long term I gotta get so this shit doesn't bother me but short term always having chicks in the pipeline is definitely the way to go.