Post: #1

I have to be honest, after 33 years of experience I truly believe that "people don't change".


They don't. It's bullshit.


By the time you are 7 years old, the teachers and guidance counselors can take one look at you and see where your life are going.


They know who will be the next Michael Jordan. They pick out the next Einstein. And they also can predict who will be the first pregnaunt teenager.


You can't change that shit.


The only thing that is different is people's "elasticity".


How much can you orbit away from whom you really are?


Some people are like lose rubber bands that can stretch out and go above and beyond (or possibly way below)


Some people are tight rubber bands. They don't move much, ex (Michael Jordan, or a retarded kid)


But what I have noticed that the "changes" people recognize, are not really "changes"

• Maybe you use less cocaine now
  

• Maybe your sister stopped sleeping with so many Italians
  

• Maybe your uncle started gambling less after he lost the house
  

But it doesn't change the fact that you are a crack head, your sister is a whore, and your uncle is a degenerate gambler...

Post: #2

Yep - people don't change.

You will save yourself alot of hassle if you just accept that and move on.

Post: #3

Have to wholeheartedly disagree. People have to make a serious effort and be both dedicated and determined, but they can change. I may not be an Einstein, but I've definitely changed from the person I was 10 years ago. Saying it's not possible is a weak and narrowminded cop out.

Post: #4

I think you can stretch it to some extent, but a lot of talent and morality are innate

Post: #5

(05-12-2013 08:27 PM)TheCaptainPower Wrote:  I have to be honest, after 33 years of experience I truly believe that "people don't change".


They don't. It's bullshit.


By the time you are 7 years old, the teachers and guidance counselors can take one look at you and see where your life are going.


They know who will be the next Michael Jordan. They pick out the next Einstein. And they also can predict who will be the first pregnaunt teenager.


You can't change that shit.


The only thing that is different is people's "elasticity".


How much can you orbit away from whom you really are?


Some people are like lose rubber bands that can stretch out and go above and beyond (or possibly way below)


Some people are tight rubber bands. They don't move much, ex (Michael Jordan, or a retarded kid)


But what I have noticed that the "changes" people recognize, are not really "changes"

• Maybe you use less cocaine now
  

• Maybe your sister stopped sleeping with so many Italians
  

• Maybe your uncle started gambling less after he lost the house
  

But it doesn't change the fact that you are a crack head, your sister is a whore, and your uncle is a degenerate gambler...

yes 7 yr old arnold knew he would be my olympia

Post: #6

Arnold is one out of a million. The other 999,999 are nobodies...

Post: #7

Actually, you are right with Arnold now that I think about it.

He was always hard working, super hard working. He never changed....

Post: #8

people change but they change less and less as they get older. when youre young you change a lot\

Post: #9

I agree with this post. I've come to the same conclusion. But want to add a few things.

First, people also don't mature. They just grow older. This is why you see 52-year-old women on OKCupid acting like 14-year-olds expecting prince charming.

But more to the point, while people's ability to truly change is limited, WHERE they put themselves isn't. In other words, if you're a rigid SOB you might fail at the creative arts because you can't change that...but you might make the best Marine ever. If you're creative but undisciplined, then you might fail at running your own business, but have the best-ever company if you find the right "straight man" partner.

Since we can't really change, we're only ever as good as the contexts in which we place ourselves. If you look at people who succeed, a lot of it isn't about them per se, but who they chose to spend time with and in what area.

In other words: know thyself. The reason so many things go wrong for so many people is because schools teach us that we're endlessly malleable and can do anything, so people get into the wrong fields and fail. People older than us also view us the way they want to see us, not the way we really are. Trust your instincts, not guidance counselors, or teachers.

Post: #10

(05-12-2013 09:01 PM)TheCaptainPower Wrote:  I think you can stretch it to some extent, but a lot of talent and morality are innate

Yes, not only do people not change, they become more like what would be predicted just from genetics:

Quote:The heritability of general cognitive ability increases significantly and linearly from 41% in childhood (9 years) to 55% in adolescence (12 years) and to 66% in young adulthood (17 years) in a sample of 11 000 pairs of twins from four countries, a larger sample than all previous studies combined.

Post: #11

Albert Einstein’s fifth grade teacher told his parents that he was ‘stupid’ and incapable of learning. Albert had demonstrated an inability to take tests and to get passing grades. His teacher recommended they place Albert in a workhouse. Sometime later, he began to study the violin . Years later Albert credited his genius to the violin. Whenever he would get stumped while working on a formula, the answer would come to him while playing his violin.

http://flowpsychology.com/albert-einsteins-mysticism/

A teacher is just a person who took a course and gets a job.

Some are good but most are just punching hours with little natural ability or motivation.

I would place very little faith in their ability to spot talent and decide who is most likely to succed or not.

As for people can't change that's just ridiculous.

Post: #12

(05-12-2013 09:34 PM)Irishman Wrote:  As for people can't change that's just ridiculous.

Can't != tend not to.

Certainly people can change, but most people tend not to.

Post: #13

Nike was looking at Lebron James in 7th grade....

Post: #14

(05-12-2013 09:38 PM)Kabal Wrote:  

(05-12-2013 09:34 PM)Irishman Wrote:  As for people can't change that's just ridiculous.

Can't != tend not to.

Certainly people can change, but most people tend not to.

What the point of this thread?

Its like arguing people can't get in shape but then changing that to 'well most people don't which is kind of the same'.

Are you saying that working on yourself is pointless because you can't actually change who you 'are meant to be'?

Post: #15

The point for me is I take people at face value, male or female, because I don't think people change....

Post: #16

Almost sounds like nihilism, kind of a depressing worldview to have if you ask me.

Post: #17

Do you think that you (personally) changed?

Post: #18

(05-12-2013 09:46 PM)Irishman Wrote:  

(05-12-2013 09:38 PM)Kabal Wrote:  

(05-12-2013 09:34 PM)Irishman Wrote:  As for people can't change that's just ridiculous.

Can't != tend not to.

Certainly people can change, but most people tend not to.

What the point of this thread?

Its like arguing people can't get in shape but then changing that to 'well most people don't which is kind of the same'.

Are you saying that working on yourself is pointless because you can't actually change who you 'are meant to be'?

I presume this thread is about the empirical observation that people tend not to change, and not some claim about personal development; also, I'm guessing that CaptainPower was just being a bit hasty in the can't vs. tend not to distinction, but I suppose he would be better able to speak to both of those points.

The observation that people tend not to change is not trivially true, which is why we have threads like this pop-up.

Even so, this board is self-selected for men that have successfully enacted personal change. Thus, what goes for men on this board when it comes to personal development may not necessarily apply to the population at large.

Post: #19

I also don't agree with the thread.

If you believe people don't change it means you yourself cannot change.

This is defeatest.

If you believe what you wrote, you are applying the same mindset to your own life. You'll be in perpetual stagnation.

People can change, it just takes work that most are unwilling to do.

Post: #20

I don't think its depressing, because the flip side is there are also good people...

Post: #21

people can and do change all the time, thinking they can not or do not is very short sighted and displays a closed mind.

I learned long ago via a mate ( someone with some of the best game i have ever seen) that my mind is like a parachute, it works best when open.

Post: #22

So why work out, eat well, game or work on your financial situation?

If you can't change what's the point?

Post: #23

(05-12-2013 09:56 PM)WestCoast Wrote:  I also don't agree with the thread.

If you believe people don't change it means you yourself cannot change.

This is defeatest.

People can change, it just takes work that most are unwilling to do.

Only if you believe that you are well-characterized by the middle of the bell-curve, which most of us don't.

For instance, I believe that most guys don't have what it takes to step foot in a new city and bang cute chicks within hours or days.

Yet, I've certainly done that.

No defeatism, no contradiction there.

Most people can't hold onto a diet. Most people can't say no to eating donuts and cake everyday. Most people can't pry themselves away from American Idol and get their asses to the gym. People tend not to enact change in their lives.

People can change. But they tend not to, because like you said, it takes work.

Post: #24

Some people change, others stay the same.

Got it.

Post: #25

You guys keep using outliers to try and win your argument either way. Those outliers are not representative of the statement "people can't change".

Further, everyone has the potential to change theoretically, but in practice, people do not change. Certain things like IQ, height, dick length etc are not going to change, those three things are a huge factor into what molds a person. For example, Power could theoretically stop posting shirtless photos of himself on a game forum, but because he's short he won't. In effect Power CAN'T change. ; )