Post: #11901

@checkmat

That type of behavior from friends, colleagues, wait staff, strangers etc needs to be nipped in the bud. Your girl will actually start to believe it, and that's the last thing you want. Your girl should feel like she is lucky to be with you, period.

"Oh, haha you never know someone till you live with them" (in a playful but obvious "you don't know her" tone)

Or "oh, please take her" (tonality is key here, smile be playful)

More brash "she's lucky I put up with her" (playful tone with some serious poking it's head out in tone)

More arrogant "it's not luck, thank you" (basically a fuck you, keep this one for amogs and fags)

Also you know you're in a good spot with your woman when she retorts herself "I'm lucky to have him". Very few women will do that unless they are absolutely in love with you.

The whole idea of "he's a lucky guy" is bullshit used to prop up the girls ego and encourage hypergamy (not in your favor). It's actually an insult similar to someone saying "she's out of your league" which is patently fucking rude, treat it as such.

You are correct in your analysis like "oh yeah I'm so fucking lucky I have to work for a living, have actual valued and qualities for people to like me, and slog through an increasingly gynocentric anti-male society to land a slightly above average girl. Must sure be hard work and dedication to be born with a vagina and not get fat". Fuck that bullshit, clap back immediately

Post: #11902

She is angling for a tip and thinks that is what you want to hear, because most men are self haters and this makes them feel good.

Post: #11903

I basically stopped approaching over the winter, and now I'm pretty rusty.

I am constantly missing opportunities because I blank on an opener. Does anyone have an "all purpose" opener they use? For reference, I've had luck using elderly game (asking people about their cell phone, computer, etc.). But that's mainly for coffee shops. I don't have anything similar for women I approach in stores, markets, etc.

I find myself waiting for women to come to the wine section where I have a routine about asking which wine goes with what. But it feels pretty ridiculous to wait for that one exact situation. I need something with some versatility.

Post: #11904

(04-30-2019 06:01 PM)Cavorite Wrote:  I basically stopped approaching over the winter, and now I'm pretty rusty.

I am constantly missing opportunities because I blank on an opener. Does anyone have an "all purpose" opener they use? For reference, I've had luck using elderly game (asking people about their cell phone, computer, etc.). But that's mainly for coffee shops. I don't have anything similar for women I approach in stores, markets, etc.

I find myself waiting for women to come to the wine section where I have a routine about asking which wine goes with what. But it feels pretty ridiculous to wait for that one exact situation. I need something with some versatility.

How does it work out for you, elderly game? I remember trying to game at a coffee shop, and I guess that's what I was doing, and I was scared shitless.

So you game at the store? I myself havent' done it yet even though i need to... Do you open talking about wine... this may be something i need to try because I really am into wine.

Post: #11905

(04-30-2019 06:34 PM)Heuristics Wrote:  How does it work out for you, elderly game? I remember trying to game at a coffee shop, and I guess that's what I was doing, and I was scared shitless.

So you game at the store? I myself havent' done it yet even though i need to... Do you open talking about wine... this may be something i need to try because I really am into wine.

I open by playing dumb and asking what wine pairs well with what food, then I move on to say how I'm preparing XYZ for dinner and ask them to recommend a good wine. It's a stress free opener with plausible deniability, and women are almost always receptive. It's an easy way to talk for a few minutes and then ask for a number.

Elderly game works well for me because I'm not bold enough to do direct approaches. I have a few scenarios where I can start an "elderly" conversation at a store (wine being my favorite because I know a lot about wine), but if I run into a woman looking at pasta or something, I have no idea what to say, and even if I do approach the conversation will fizzle out quickly.

Post: #11906

(05-01-2019 09:09 AM)Cavorite Wrote:  

(04-30-2019 06:34 PM)Heuristics Wrote:  How does it work out for you, elderly game? I remember trying to game at a coffee shop, and I guess that's what I was doing, and I was scared shitless.

So you game at the store? I myself havent' done it yet even though i need to... Do you open talking about wine... this may be something i need to try because I really am into wine.

I open by playing dumb and asking what wine pairs well with what food, then I move on to say how I'm preparing XYZ for dinner and ask them to recommend a good wine. It's a stress free opener with plausible deniability, and women are almost always receptive. It's an easy way to talk for a few minutes and then ask for a number.

Elderly game works well for me because I'm not bold enough to do direct approaches. I have a few scenarios where I can start an "elderly" conversation at a store (wine being my favorite because I know a lot about wine), but if I run into a woman looking at pasta or something, I have no idea what to say, and even if I do approach the conversation will fizzle out quickly.

Definitely try to be direct with daygame approaches a time or two. It's a good way to build confidence, and is definitely a good tool to have in the arsenal. Now granted, you don't have to be super direct.

Post: #11907

Just had a date with a girl from OKC. 23 year old tall blonde, very pretty but skinny as fuck. She is super religious. Our date had to be done before her Christianity conference at 7pm. She’s done missionary work etc but she must have sex before marriage bc she said she was engaged and lived with a guy she was with for 3 years.

Anyway no alcohol so we kicked it at a cool cafe in a couple of chairs. It was 100% not conducive to kino at all. She did reach out and touch me to make a point once, but escalating was tough.

Since I couldn’t get physical, I decided to try to make as much of an emotional impact as I could. So I ran the first set of “fall in love questions”, which went very well. I told her I wanted to see her again in a semi romantic setting where we can have wine and not worry about getting to a conference on time. She enthusiastically agreed and suggested we hang out again this Saturday. I told her Fri is better since I work and she told me Friday it is. We hugged warmly but I did not kiss her. Without previous kino it felt like it would be too much at once.

I’ll be VERY surprised if I’m able to bang this girl within my 3-date rule, but I’m going to go ahead with it and do what I can.

Post: #11908

23 year old girls still use OKC?

Post: #11909

(05-06-2019 10:55 PM)redbeard Wrote:  23 year old girls still use OKC?

Yes. In the LA area, there are a lot of decent 18-21 year olds on there too.

Post: #11910

Happened some days ago.

Open three sets today. One was a waitress so she might have simply been compelled to chat, another two during my subway trip back. One had friendly chat for 15 mins and the other just walked away. The sucky things was that the girl that just walked away walked towards the exit and I had a split second delay of wthether to continue talking to her but I had to also use up my train ticket if I exit, crap. None of the three will be a close, unless not until I build up major chemistry which is something not I am into for these three sets.

Called one of the girl I number closed at a student bar and had a last minute date. Game her in the bar she was impressed and I was holding her hand while she talk, but couldn’t make out as it’s more of a open area chilled bar. I think I could have closed or attempted to close her but decided to eject as I think she was not on par with my expectations, maybe a 6 in with alcohol first night we met and a 4 that night.

Another take home is that I again deliberated and it took me an hour of walking and eating tidbits before I muster the courage to open, I didn’t have any major AA where I used to such as sweat and tremor but I still worry about rejection I guess. I only stared warming up at the second hour and opened all three in the span of an hour + , still an improvement for me but could have wasted less time. Thoughts like she will think I am weird, too old, married bla bla still flashed through.

Post: #11911

Is there a definitive guide to first date conversations and attitude? Making first impressions? I've been on an absolutely miserable run of like 12 dates with zero fucks, by far the worst streak of my life.

It may just be a statistical fluke, but I think it's worth re-examining the fundamentals.

Post: #11912

^ Have you read Bang? Much of a first date is just getting to know each other, getting psyched about shared interests, slowly increasing the amount of touching, making “moves” and venue changing.

12 in a row with no bangs definitely means something is off. Are you getting notches on dates #2-3? Could be you’re just not dating slutty enough girls. Is there alcohol involved? What do you think you’re doing wrong?

Post: #11913

(05-08-2019 10:32 AM)Checkmat Wrote:  ^ Have you read Bang? Much of a first date is just getting to know each other, getting psyched about shared interests, slowly increasing the amount of touching, making “moves” and venue changing.

12 in a row with no bangs definitely means something is off. Are you getting notches on dates #2-3? Could be you’re just not dating slutty enough girls. Is there alcohol involved? What do you think you’re doing wrong?

Yes, I've been playing this game for a long time. I know the basics. This bad streak is kind of unprecedented.

Here's a typical date:

Meet at a lounge, sit on sofa, have two drinks, my arm is around her by the second drink, i probably kiss her once during conversation, walk back to her car, and think I did a good job...

Then I text two days later: No response, or "I'm busy with xxx", or "I'm not feeling it".

Either these girls are just dating around looking for validation, or are so inundated with guys that they will forget our date almost immediately.

Note: I live in suburbs with nightmare logistics, so I can't venue change, bring them back to my place, or anything else you could do in a city.

Post: #11914

If venue changing is that bad, pull her into the back of your car and escalate as much as possible.

Are you making out with these girls or just kissing?

Post: #11915

(05-08-2019 11:49 AM)Checkmat Wrote:  If venue changing is that bad, pull her into the back of your car and escalate as much as possible.

Are you making out with these girls or just kissing?

Very light kissing. I don't make out anymore unless I'm at a place where we can bang. So I basically have to use multiple dates to get a bang, and they lose interest before we get to another date for whatever reason.

Post: #11916

Checkmat,

This oldie is still good? Do not kiss at venue at all. Truth is, date 2s are just hard no matter how well you do

/thread-8681....ate+recipe

Or improvise with:
/thread-28403...=Zero+date

Post: #11917

(05-08-2019 01:21 PM)winterfell Wrote:  Checkmat,

This oldie is still good? Do not kiss at venue at all. Truth is, date 2s are just hard no matter how well you do

/thread-8681....ate+recipe

Or improvise with:
/thread-28403...=Zero+date

He can't pull them back to his pad, he said he lives too far.

The zero-date bang move can definitely work, and has for me, but it can also polarize/freeze out a girl who would have fucked you on a first or second date if it wasn't so obvious what was going to go down.

This shouldn't be insurmountable. I've had first dates with girls when I live in the 'burbs, and we are kicking it 45 min away in the city. Heavy making out in a club/dark area of a bar, in the car, etc. Lead to date #2 closer to your house, ideally. Should be "let's cook dinner at my place" or something like that.

Logistics are important but this should still be workable. If not for SNLs at least for a bang by date #2 or #3.

Post: #11918

My girl broke up with me because I'm an asshole and she had some of her own issues. Oh well, such is life.

Think i'm going to take a break from dating for a while, this whole last relationship has left a sour taste in my mouth.

Post: #11919

(05-08-2019 11:19 AM)Cavorite Wrote:  

(05-08-2019 10:32 AM)Checkmat Wrote:  ^ Have you read Bang? Much of a first date is just getting to know each other, getting psyched about shared interests, slowly increasing the amount of touching, making “moves” and venue changing.

12 in a row with no bangs definitely means something is off. Are you getting notches on dates #2-3? Could be you’re just not dating slutty enough girls. Is there alcohol involved? What do you think you’re doing wrong?

Yes, I've been playing this game for a long time. I know the basics. This bad streak is kind of unprecedented.

Here's a typical date:

Meet at a lounge, sit on sofa, have two drinks, my arm is around her by the second drink, i probably kiss her once during conversation, walk back to her car, and think I did a good job...

Then I text two days later: No response, or "I'm busy with xxx", or "I'm not feeling it".

Either these girls are just dating around looking for validation, or are so inundated with guys that they will forget our date almost immediately.

Note: I live in suburbs with nightmare logistics, so I can't venue change, bring them back to my place, or anything else you could do in a city.

I don't understand why you can't take them home, or go to their place.

Why aren't you escalating in her car?

Also, suburbs have hotels nearby.

Post: #11920

Quote:I don't understand why you can't take them home, or go to their place.

Why aren't you escalating in her car?

Also, suburbs have hotels nearby.

I've done it, but it's hard to get a decent girl to drive 25 minutes on the beltway to your place on a first date.

I don't make out with girls in the car at this point in my life.

The cheapest hotels are $100+ and any normal woman will feel more of a slut going to a hotel than to my place.

I had problems with girls flaking after heavy makeouts so I stopped (see Tuthmosis thread). Now I have problems with girls flaking when I follow the advice in that thread. I'm looking for a common theme to the flaking problem, but maybe there isn't one.

Post: #11921

Well, I hope there is a good reason why you live in the suburbs and not an area with better logistics.

Post: #11922

(05-10-2019 07:13 PM)Checkmat Wrote:  Well, I hope there is a good reason why you live in the suburbs and not an area with better logistics.

Logistics are important but not impossible to work around. One tactic I used to make is throw parties at my place. I would invite a girl I like over and then I'll have perfect logistics to escalate. If you've been on a couple of dates together already you can throw a party at your place and it doesn't have to be a big one. She can choose to come over or not and it is much less pressure on her. She can also invite a friend.

Post: #11923

This is kind of a cross post, but there are no second dates. I've determined that I'm just being used for one night of free entertainment from girls with hundreds of other guys messaging them.

I need to adjust my game in light of this. I'm throwing out my rapport building routine and I want to use something new. Is there some kind of "be an asshole on a date" post somewhere on the forum? I think that's the only way to stand out.

Post: #11924

@Cavorite

Yes

/thread-14661.html

One of my favorite lines of all time:

Quote:Try this..Go out on Friday night and just go, do, say whatever you want to whoever. If you get tossed out of a few places don't worry. Drink what you want and eat whatever the fuck you want. If you have an opinion let it be known. If your drink is weak tell the bartender it sucks and to fix it. Fuck everyone. Nobody gives a shit about you they just want your cash anyway so make them earn it. If you overhear a girl talking shit tell her she has no clue what she's talking about and ask her to leave.

Post: #11925

That's exactly what I'm looking for Redbeard. I was so inspired I sent a completely brutal and unnecessary text to a girl on vacation who I'm pretty sure was going to flake when she returned.

Being able to do this in person is going to require practice, but I'm actually excited to try something completely new. It's become tedious refining my "normal" date game year after year.

Treating women the same way they treat men (1) helps you keep your sanity, and (2) might actually make these women better people