Post: #1

Guess this goes into the travel section?

Anyways, saloon writer born in the evil empire and educated in some two bit college goes on to describe dating Russian dudes in Russia.

http://www.salon.com/2013/08/12/i_love_a...ssian_men/

Some choice quotes

Quote:Suddenly, I wished my women’s studies professor from Sarah Lawrence were there. Pistols at dawn seemed a ludicrous symbol of male egotism, and I longed for men in tailored suits, who solved arguments with Woody Allen jokes and New Yorker references. But then Anton hugged me, heat and sweat rising from his torso, his arms wrapped around me in a promise of eternal protection, inhaling me in that way men do to show they’re grateful that you’re safe. And in that strange and romantic moment I thought, “One day I’m going to put this in a story to explain my convoluted relationship with Russian men.

Quote: In Russia, most of the guys I met were engaged in some sort of dubious import/export business in electronics; the rest were involved in “business” (if you ask what kind of business, and there is a marked pause followed by the word “business,” you should refrain from asking any more questions). A great many of them confessed to dreaming of moving to a beach in Bali, roasting barbecue all day, and copulating furiously with island women.

Quote:You do not meet a Russian man, you are chosen by one. You could be sitting in a banya, or at a café, and a man walks by, puts a fruit salad (or a pizza ) on your table, and gruffly says, “Enjoy.” If you eat the salad, it is a sign that you would like him to come talk to you. If you don’t eat it the salad, it doesn’t matter, because you have been chosen and he will still come talk to you since your compliance in the whole matter is largely unnecessary. In big cities, it’s not uncommon for a man to just run up to you in the street and say, “Devushka, may I make your acquaintance?” in the manner of a really pushy 19th century nobleman.

Quote:The American teachers at my language school had a phrase to describe dating Russian men. It was “No Means Yes, and Yes Means Anal.”

Lots of stuff where she decries feminized western dudes as boring, but god forbid you actually do these things, its so try too hard.

Quote:And still, sometimes, when I’m in my egalitarian relationship with an American guy, and I’m freezing my ass off in a mini-skirt outside while being eyeballed by some pervert and my boyfriend is giving me the “You’re an independent woman and you can handle this yourself” look, I can’t help but long for the protective paws of a Russian man, can’t help but feel torn between what I learned at my feminist university and what I grew up with in my patriarchal community, can’t help but feel an internal battle between my rational beliefs and my emotional desires, and I think what every person thinks when they are frustrated with their love life: Man, my parents really fucked me up.

Welcome to the the club little girl.

Post: #2

I thought it was a good article. She basically describes the pros and cons of the Russian way and the American way. The Russian way sounds a bit like how America was a very long time ago.

Post: #3

I duped this.. here's what I wrote.

"In 2010, I moved back to Russia to teach English. The first thing that you’ll notice when you get to Russia is that the women are astoundingly beautiful and immaculately presented. They will sashay past you with their wobbly stilettos (which are worn even over blocks of ice) and designer bags (which carry a full pharmacy complete with a mini shoe polish and handwipes) and, if you tell them you pluck your own eyebrows and only get a facial once a month, will look at you as though you have just clawed your way out of a swamp.

These insurmountable standards of beauty can largely be credited to the fact that there are more women than men. The disintegration of male hygiene and work ethic that occurs when there is (by some counts) a 3:1 female:male ratio should be noted by anthropologists worldwide."


"The second thing you’ll notice is that Russian men are patriarchal alpha males, and, whatever your feminist textbook might have told you, this is initially a huge turn-on. "

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She brings up the ideal of the paternal provider, as opposed to the beta provider:

"Evolutionary theorists and Freudians alike would argue that women are subconsciously attracted to men who give off signs that they will provide for them. And when I say “provide,” I don’t even necessarily mean in a monetary sense as much as in a paternal one. This sense that they are obligated to look out for you, not because you’re weaker or feeble-minded, but because you — as the fountain from which life springs forth — are precious and valuable."

Enacting the father daughter relationship frame does work with getting girls in the sack.

I've done this when I'll be talking to a girl, and as I'm talking to her, I imagine that she's smaller than me (which she usually is), and that I take a up a huge amount of space. In my mind, I'm a dragon, whose wings spread out far and wide and encompass her.

I imagine that I could crush her at any moment. This has helped me deal with pressure when I'm talking to girls.

In my mind, I'm the most powerful thing in the bar. She's lucky to have my attention.

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The Russian guys are owning their women.

Things that we'd say are beta, are not beta if you are doing it with a sense of ownership over a woman. You mark your territory by doing things like lighting cigarettes for girls. All the best players I know are "chivalrous" in this sense :

"It’s important to emphasize that this brand of chauvinism isn’t the abhorrent “shut up and make me a sandwich” kind but more along the lines of old-fashioned chivalry, which is why Russian men are quintessential gentlemen on first dates. Russians like to make occasions out of everyday rites, so men will make gestures to convey that going on a date with you is a special event in their lives. They bring flowers and little gifts (I have an entire hideous gold animal menagerie from a previous Russian admirer). They open the door for you and pull out your chair. They ask if you’re getting enough water and vigilantly top off your wine (as a woman, you never ever pour wine). "

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Ha- I do the following. I call all the girls that I'm fucking my girlfriends. It's not about having "cold" ONS for me. I engage emotionally in the interaction. This is why I usually end up burning bridges with girls if I get rejected. I've been relaxing on that now because I'm all about building stronger social relations with my venues and not getting into trouble or drama.

"Is it more disrespectful to have casual sex with a girl and not call her your girlfriend, or call her your girlfriend and cheat? The Westerners said the latter, as though it were obvious, the Russian ones said the former, as if that were obvious. Having experienced both, I really don’t know anymore, although I respect the way one of my Russian friends explained it, in a sort of Sartrian epistemology: “Listen, human nature is fucked up. It’s more honest, and more humane, to just lie.”

Post: #4

When I lived in China I met some Russian dudes. Yeah, they were also "something in business".

Anyway, they made a load of cash exporting stuff to Russia, then went to Macau and lost it all in the casino.

They should inspire us with their manliness - if they're not in China then they're in Thailand taking stupid risks on motorbikes or in the sea.

Post: #5

This is the failure of feminism. It doesn't acknowledge the primal desires that lurk within women that make many of their beliefs a contradiction. (After all, if you want someone to have power over you, and can't respect them otherwise, then how can you possibly be in a "equal" relationship? How can you look down upon "masculine" traits when that's one of your fundamental requirements for a man? And how can you abide with such cognitive dissonace?)

I agree with equal pay for equal work, women having basic human rights, etc. but I really wish feminism would address this vital contradiction. Has anyone found any feminist literature (books or online columns) that touch upon it?

Post: #6

Nature trumps brainwashing.

Post: #7

Full circle. This was the bed of feminism, if you review history well enough. All systems either self-destroy or come back to a balance state.