Post: #1

Don't get me wrong guys, I'm not a fan and am not advocating her work
However, I heard something on the radio recently about her, talking about marriage and she made a comment that although interesting, was spectacularly deluded, it was something along the lines of 'how marriage benefits men much more than women'
It struck me that this was a a very simplistic (and typically female in a sense) view of the matter, looking at the idea of marriage purely from a woman's perspective, while giving no thought at all to the huge commitment it is from a man's perspective, and all that a man gives up, in order to commit to one woman for the long term
Ok, there are situations where an aimless sad sack of a man, gets transformed for the better, when hitching himself to a woman, particularly in the first year or so, and perhaps this is what she is getting at, but otherwise, I see no sense in her comments and it strikes me as the type of hamsterisation we're all so used to by now, in our dealings with (in particular Western) women

Here's an article which desribes what I'm talking about:
http://edition.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/01/05...iage.book/

And here's the relevant part, I was alluding to above:

CNN: Marriage has often been portrayed as something that protects women. But you found in your book that it benefits men the most. Were you surprised by that?

Gilbert: It's surprising, though it shouldn't be. Looking at study after study, it becomes quite chilling to see how very much benefited men are by marriage. Married men perform in life exceptionally better than single men, they live longer, they're richer, they're happier.

CNN: And yet men are often reluctant to enter into marriage.

Gilbert: Which is the big irony. They have to be dragged kicking and screaming into something that will benefit them enormously in life. And the cruel irony is that the people who drag them kicking and screaming into it -- the women -- are the ones who often find that they've gotten the short end of the stick.

Women give more and as a result they give up more.

I think the other problem is that women go into marriage with such high expectations, really inflated romantic ideas about what this relationship is going to be. Men go into marriage with virtually no expectations whatsoever. Ten years later, the men are delightfully surprised to find out that it's actually kind of nice, and the women have sort of had to take a nose dive from what they thought it was going to be.

Post: #2

The definition of Chutzpah: the man who murders his parents, then throws himself at the mercy of the court because he is an orphan.

Post: #3

Whatever this is, it surely isn't "thoughts."

Post: #4

Disclaimer: Marriage of course doesn't equal rape per se, even though bad marriage (the one affected by the Eat, Pray, Love syndrome) surely does. Thus I have reworked this intelligent interview:

Quote:CNN: Rape has often been portrayed as something that hurts women. But you found in your book that it benefits women the most. Were you surprised by that?

Gilbert: It's surprising, though it shouldn't be. Looking at study after study, it becomes quite encouraging to see how very much benefited women are by rape. Women who have been raped perform in life exceptionally better than those women that have not been raped; they have more sexual partners (each rape = sexual partner), they're more self-reliant (they have to be to live with the trauma), they're more optimistic (the worst has already happened to them).

CNN: And yet women are often afraid of being raped.

Gilbert: Which is the big irony. They have to be dragged kicking and screaming into something that will benefit them enormously in life. And the cruel irony is that the people who drag them kicking and screaming into it -- the rapists -- are the ones who often find that they've gotten the short end of the stick (in form of a prison sentence).

Rapists give more and as a result they give up more.

Post: #5

This is a fine specimen of the female hamster. Watch in awe of how easily it spins events to suit its needs. Marvel at it endless ability to consume others.

Post: #6

What she means is: It benefits the poor beta provider shmucks that women settle for.
Because at that point sex becomes work for women because they feel obligated to put out.

Quote:I think the other problem is that women go into marriage with such high expectations, really inflated romantic ideas about what this relationship is going to be. Men go into marriage with virtually no expectations whatsoever. Ten years later, the men are delightfully surprised to find out that it's actually kind of nice, and the women have sort of had to take a nose dive from what they thought it was going to be.

I like this part^^.

She forgot mention that women's looks depreciate over time so they have to offset that with subservient man-pleasing behavior in order to keep the husband's love and attention.

Some women get it and fall into line. Other don't and file for divorce.

Post: #7

Quote:Gilbert: It's surprising, though it shouldn't be. Looking at study after study, it becomes quite chilling to see how very much benefited men are by marriage. Married men perform in life exceptionally better than single men, they live longer, they're richer, they're happier.

Correlation does not equal Causation.

In this day and age in which Women have free reign to "Eat, Pray, Divorce and Ride the Cock Carousel" with the support of the State and the culture at large, the only men who can and do remain married, are the successful, fit and healthy man who's wife won't divorce him because he's already the sort of individual who's successful at life. Marriage doesn't make men successful and long-lived.

More like the successful and long-lived are the only sort of man who won't get frivolously divorced by the likes of flaky, self-centered twits like Gilbert.

Speaking of which, if she really wanted to look at meaningful statistics on health and long life, she should go have a look at the statistics on men who commit suicide.

Divorced Father's denied access to their children are far and away the number one demographic there.

Correlation? Causation?

You decide....

Post: #8

How many women spend even one second considering what they're going to do after their "most special-ist unique amazing perfect day in the world ever" finishes and they have to deal with being 'just' a wife and not the centre of attention with a whole industry running around them?

To channel Patrice, men don't really care about weddings, the only reason women can have a wedding day is because men have given it to them.

Bridezilla is the man's fault, if a woman behaves like that and won't be checked, then the only sensible option is to walk away and let her marry her cats. Do it on the day, in front of the altar.

"I'd hate myself if I had that kind of attitude, if I were that weak." - Arnold

Post: #9

Gilbert's musings are a perfect example of a point Rollo makes in 'The Rational Male' re Empathy, and that is that women, in particular Western women, thanks in part to their nature, and thanks in no small part to their conditioning in our fem-centred Western society, have very little ability to 'put themselves in a man's shoes' and imagine 'the male experience' for a change. Whilst she does make a few good points here and there (like on soulmates for instance), she is still very much one of 'the herd', she might not outright state it, but the implication is very clear, 'the female experience' is the only one that matters, for her, and for the vast majority of Western women

Post: #10

Elizabeth Gilbert has always had a particularly strong hamster. Her two bit book "Eat, Pray, Fuck" has been the wellspring of delusional day dreams for a lot of women. Despite the thousands of disastrous stories of women following her advice and ruining their lives and her freewheeling hamster ways she kept retaining some modicum of respect until now.

She has gone full hamster.

"The bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert has announced that her marriage with her husband, Jose Nunes – who features in two of her books – ended this year after she entered into a romantic same-sex relationship with her best friend, the Syrian-born author Rayya Elias."

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/s...e-loves-me

SMH. Can this woman's ego and narcissism ever be filled? Her attention whoring has resorted to declaring her newly found love of slapping fish and taking advantage of her friend's cancer all to go "LOOK AT ME!"

Post: #11

(02-24-2017 12:45 PM)monsquid Wrote:  Elizabeth Gilbert has always had a particularly strong hamster. Her two bit book "Eat, Pray, Fuck" has been the wellspring of delusional day dreams for a lot of women. Despite the thousands of disastrous stories of women following her advice and ruining their lives and her freewheeling hamster ways she kept retaining some modicum of respect until now.

She has gone full hamster.

"The bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert has announced that her marriage with her husband, Jose Nunes – who features in two of her books – ended this year after she entered into a romantic same-sex relationship with her best friend, the Syrian-born author Rayya Elias."

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/s...e-loves-me

she took her own advice, ruined her own life, and is now doubling down.

Post: #12

(12-04-2013 07:45 AM)amity Wrote:  Gilbert: It's surprising, though it shouldn't be. Looking at study after study, it becomes quite chilling to see how very much benefited men are by marriage. Married men perform in life exceptionally better than single men, they live longer, they're richer, they're happier.

CNN: And yet men are often reluctant to enter into marriage.

Because the better quality men get married, by and large. They would have performed better, lived longer, accumulated more wealth, and been happier than their non-married peers, on average, even if they hadn't married.

You could make the case that these men would be even better off had they not taken on the additional burden of caring for a woman and children, but then you get into the value of children, the stability and peace of mind of being with one woman (best case scenario), etc. Nonetheless, for a size-able portion of married men, they would surely have been better off in every respect had they not married.

Post: #13

^ Amusing (not funny) because it's true. Well done, Spaniard.

Post: #14

Marriage does not benefit men or women more, it benefits the society as a whole and the health of future generations.

I know a ton of single mothers and they truly can be quite happy in the moment, perhaps more happy than they would be married that's up for debate. Some of them enjoy having the option to raise their children according to their own ideals with no compromise to the father's ideals. Of course, while they may have the option to build their own utopian child without weighing another's perspective, almost none of them are able to actualize that because of logistics and because they don't know what they don't know. In the teenage years is when some seem to realize that it takes more than a mother's abilities to raise a child. Though many are still too proud to admit.

Of course women are also looking at men's lives from an external point of view, missing a lot of what happens. Just as important, they are judging a man's outcome through the lens of women's values and priorities. A woman may see this man who lived to 90, had steady career success and made a bunch of money for his family and they envy this or see it as the idea. Men don't necessarily see that as the ideal and might prefer to be the work hard play hard, no strings no restrictions, take big risks suffer some losses and major windfalls, die at the age of 50 alone.

In objective terms a man who get's married, has a family, stays married, stays the patriarch of that family is going to be more focused, more driven to invest and build in a sense, he's going to live longer and take better care of himself probably. He's also going to take less risks and have less wild adventures, who's to say which is best. Of course, looking at married men, they only focus on the ones that stay married. The ones who end up divorced and suicidal or estranged from their offspring are not considered.

Post: #15

I do believe pair bonding has health benefits. Strong and meaningful relationships in married and blood family, friends, and acquaintances have been the greatest indicator of happiness and meaning in people's lives.

The problem is that marriage has to be seen for its pragmatic benefits as much as its emotional benefits. But western tradition has always been to marry based on love and the trappings of love such as fear of loneliness, insecurity, and desire for validation.

Pragmatic and effective marriages create stable societies. People are more amicable and children are raised with a balanced outlook on life with good manners and a continuous education on societal rights and wrongs. If only people recognized this fact more and are willing to set aside purely selfish reasons to make the marriage work.

Post: #16

(12-04-2013 07:45 AM)amity Wrote:  I think the other problem is that women go into marriage with such high expectations, really inflated romantic ideas about what this relationship is going to be. Men go into marriage with virtually no expectations whatsoever. Ten years later, the men are delightfully surprised to find out that it's actually kind of nice, and the women have sort of had to take a nose dive from what they thought it was going to be.

Does anyone else see this as a very telling quote? I feel like this is a major sign of how most women think. It could very well be a big reason why women have affairs in marriages and get divorced. It's not something I've thought of in the front of my mind enough, but without a doubt women put more emphasis and hype on weddings and marriages as it is built up as the greatest day of their lives.

With this mindset, we can make the argument that her wedding day is the peak of her SMV (since most women get married younger than men) and arguably the peak of her life. That can be a very depressing thought to wrap your mind around if enough women are aware of this. Add to that the attraction factor usually disappears after 7-8 years AND some men don't have the ability to keep gaming women in marriages to keep them excited, entertained, satisfied, and happy.

Add all of this together in western society with the laws in motion, you have the divorce rate. I'm not saying this is the ultimate reason we're all forgetting, but what I may be saying is that the women's expectations of marriage in their younger years could be a big first step in the ultimate downfall of half of marriages. The solution to this is we need to put less emphasis on weddings and really put the bad statistics out there and then just maybe, we could manage their expectations of marriage enough to perhaps stick around and stay loyal. However, this would probably be very difficult to implement until divorce rate goes up even more, given the wedding business is pretty big.

Post: #17

What "Carousel" Gilbert misses, is that for men marriage is a double or nothing roll: married men live longer than single men ... but divorced or widowed men have a mortality rate higher than both. All the statistics that married men live longer, perforce, depend on the marriage lasting until the poor fucker dies.

God save us from people who mean well. -storm

Post: #18

She's looking at it from the standpoint of being well past the wall and having to "settle" in marriage for less than she feels she "deserves." Also from looking at the other old, past-the-wall women she likely associates with.

If these past-the-wall women didn't put enough value on the table, none of them would have men in their lives.

What she's really doing in this interview is lamenting the loss of her pussy pass.

Post: #19

(03-02-2017 11:20 AM)polar Wrote:  What she's really doing in this interview is lamenting the loss of her pussy pass.

As do all the aged bitches. You nailed it. But I wouldn't nail that for anything. (-:

What do they say, "You don't know what you got til it's gone?"

Put up a parking lot with post wall bitches, Joni