Post: #1

Something weird is happening with me. My last two lays, the first lays with these girls, I couldn't get hard. The first one I mercilessly tried to f*ck her with a softee, the other, last night, I was hard when we started then I went limp when I went to grab a condom.

These were hot girls. Super thin, curvy, nice breasts, faces, a brazilian and a moroccan.

Here are some facts, I'm 38, pretty fit in the gym 3-5x/week, about 15% body fat. Sleep pretty well. Dont drink a lot, no drugs. The night of both dates I had drank several drinks, 5+, or more. But with drinking I have never had a problem getting it up.

Now when I would see my ex gf I broke up with in June, I get hard almost instantly. I just want to f*ck her immediately, and when I do, I cum in a minute or two, then I keep doing her. Even thinking about her gets me hard. We were together for a year and I did her maybe 1000x. Up until then the hottest girl I ever was with. Even piss drunk I would get an erection and do her. I get erections easily when I whack off. I whack off maybe 5x p week, and look at porn now maybe once a week. The same thing happened when I first met my ex, the first time I couldnt get it up, we fell asleep for a few hours, then I woke up and did her for hours.

So here is the problem, what is wrong with me? Was I just drunk? Am I having trouble moving on from my ex? Is it a combo? I was exhausted too, worked all day 12 hours + before our date. Put all this together and I get a softee? I dont know, but it really bothered me. She was sweet but disappointed, I was devastated but didnt show it.

Anyone have this type of issue? Since this happened with the last two I am considering a few things; lowering body fat, beating off less, no porn, sleeping more, carrying a viagra just in case. I am even considering taking time off from dating, I dont want this to ever happen again. I mean, I am only 38, do I really need a viagra?? Since it happened with my ex, and now with new girls, I am led to believe this is mental.

Post: #2

It's mental. It was much worse for me in my early 20's. My dick used to err on the side of caution, and is embarrassing when it happens. This is why I prefer not to always fuck on a first date. The sex is always better after knowing a girl for a few days, allowing time to escalate sexual tension, and getting more comfortable in the process. I'm your age, and can still fuck a girl 5x in a 12 hr period when that mental block is gone.

Try horny goat weed w/ maca too. I used to keep a 1/2 viagra on hand for emergencies, and would pop it when I knew the deal was sealed. I called it plan 'V'.

Post: #3

RVF Problems... Standards higher, girls hotter & more often, performance is crucial now.

I saw Roosh's post and thats why I posted here;
http://www.rooshv.com/i-think-therefore-im-erect
His example of the older guy swooping reminds me of a buddy in Miami, 52 yo Cuban, runs a large car dealership, dances like a mofo and can swoop any woman, I watch him do it all the time.. life of the party and fun as hell.

She was texting me after so I am not worried she is gone. I have had like 4 LTR's over the course of 20 years. No sexual problems with any of them, but I am literally retraining my body and mind for a new type of sexual relationship. Didnt realize it would not 'just come natural.'

Post: #4

Agreed with everything Ali said.

On top of that, I also think sexual chemistry is something that is almost always overlooked when men talk about sex, seeing as how we tend to go for a numbers approach. Sometimes you're simply not as attracted to someone, even if it seems like you should be according to all logical reasoning.

Maybe something about her personality doesn't click for you or maybe it's a hormonal thing but I do think it's a very real phenomenon. I've been with banging women that I just never got into that groove with, even after I got used to them, and then I'd sleep with a butterface that had that little something and suddenly I was a wild bucking stallion.

Methinks there's a lot more to sexual attraction than a pretty package, even when you're a man.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #5

Performance anxiety. There is no pressure with the ex.

Post: #6

(12-08-2013 09:34 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  Agreed with everything Ali said.

On top of that, I also think sexual chemistry is something that is almost always overlooked when men talk about sex, seeing as how we tend to go for a numbers approach. Sometimes you're simply not as attracted to someone, even if it seems like you should be according to all logical reasoning.

Maybe something about her personality doesn't click for you or maybe it's a hormonal thing but I do think it's a very real phenomenon. I've been with banging women that I just never got into that groove with, even after I got used to them, and then I'd sleep with a butterface that had that little something and suddenly I was a wild bucking stallion.

Methinks there's a lot more to sexual attraction than a pretty package, even when you're a man.

I think woman know that more than we do. The first one actually said "your not that into me" she got buyers remorse and disappeared. We had fun together, but when it came to sex it just didnt happen the first/only time. Plan V sounds like a good option to prevent this, to at least get to a stage where you know if you want her again or not. But I still want to fix the mental issue first without assistance.

Post: #7

Quote:Standards higher, girls hotter & more often, performance is crucial now

THAT'S your problem. You think performance is "crucial"... so guess what happens. Change that belief.

Post: #8

It was a problem around UGA. I'd be in hard mode, pull something out of the lineup like this:


   


Both of us buzzed, the stage set, and I knew they weren't total sluts. Walk her down to the Holiday Inn flirting the whole way, and still couldn't get it up. WTF? It will really chip away at your self-esteem. Most of the time I will get hard the next morning, after spending some time and getting comfortable.

Girls freak out when you can't get it up. To them its rejection. When that happens, my go to line is, "I don't make a habit of putting out on the first date. We moved a little fast.". Of course she'll echo what you just said. That sounds beta, but at that point you are doing damage control. The statement shows value and restraint, and she'll want to see you again.

For whatever reason, this problem didn't effect me in the DR.

Post: #9

You might be suffering from low testosterone.

Post: #10

(12-08-2013 09:44 AM)Roosh Wrote:  

Quote:Standards higher, girls hotter & more often, performance is crucial now

THAT'S your problem. You think performance is "crucial"... so guess what happens. Change that belief.

I am putting all of my eggs in that one basket so to speak. I liked your approach in the article and will take that on, I think my levels changed with my thoughts over the last 6 months, even though approaching is so much fun and mind altering.

Post: #11

same thing happened to me in Greece in a liberty port one time. I scooped up this chick drunk out of my mind which never happens. Get her back to my place and then.... Nothing. Next day nothing, I even tried to give myself a jumpstart in the bathroom. I talk her into going to the beach with me around 1PM and all the sudden it started coming back. We ended up doing it in the med. lol. sounds like performance anxiety but like Roosh said if it isn't that importaint to you then it eliminated the anxiety plus I blamed the alcohol for my incedent as well. Something to think about. Maybe the crutch is crippling you.

Post: #12

(12-08-2013 09:44 AM)Roosh Wrote:  

Quote:Standards higher, girls hotter & more often, performance is crucial now

THAT'S your problem. You think performance is "crucial"... so guess what happens. Change that belief.

The problem for me now is busting a nut, especially in the U.S. The thought of child support is a real mood killer, worse that a condom even.

The performance issue used to strike after spending 4-6 months in the desert sans sex, then coming home and pulling a snl. That was a whole 'nother level of frustration. Fuck me.

Post: #13

I'm really super interested in a girl on the first date.

I go for the bang because its necessary

Post: #14

David schnarch has a book called ressuercting sex in which he argues that almost every "sex dysfunction" comes down to anxiety.

When it comes to sexual tempo, your dick is the conductor. Sometimes he wants more time to do what he has to do.

The same thing that makes new pussy exciting can also make not get hard, premature ejac, or stay hard for too long and not cum.

You have to respect yourself, and your body's integrity. If things are moving too fast for you then slow it down.

Or just shove your flaccid noodle into her pussy for a second to get the notch, take it out and finger fuck her or eat her out for a while and then give her a hard dick when you are ready.

All on your terms.

Post: #15

(12-08-2013 08:56 AM)puckman Wrote:  I mean, I am only 38, do I really need a viagra?? Since it happened with my ex, and now with new girls, I am led to believe this is mental.

Do squats.

Post: #16

Stress is the first thing that will kill my sex drive. When money issues come up, my desire dies. On another note, the Master Cleanse does wonder for my libido. The system 'resets', forces out toxins, and a few pounds are dropped. The more efficient the body operates, the better your sex drive.

Your sex drive is like the canary in the mines. When there is an issue with mind or body, it will be the first to die off.

Post: #17

(12-08-2013 08:56 AM)puckman Wrote:  So here is the problem, what is wrong with me?

Have the girls give you a prostate massage with their tongue b4 sex. If that doesn't help at least you know its not a prostate issue.

Post: #18

Dude you said you jerk it 5x a week?

And you have 5+ drinks during dates?

And you're 38?

I think the evidence is right in front of you. I'm still in my early twenties and that combination would most definitely cause me to have "stage fright" as well. My personal opinion is that its the wacking and the booze. Stop those immediately. The older you get, the more noticeable the effects become.

I think the "nofap" movement is a bit hard to grasp for some of these guys in the 19-24 year old age range, since their hormones are raging so hard. They just simply don't see a point because they can jerk it all day and still bang at the end of the night. But not all of us were wired that way.

Post: #19

(12-08-2013 04:26 PM)AfgScarface Wrote:  Dude you said you jerk it 5x a week?

And you have 5+ drinks during dates?

I think you are right but this has never been an issue before.

Post: #20

I'm the same way. I'm in my late 20s and don't always stay hard with girls when I'm trying to fuck for the first time.

As others have said, I'm less likely to try to bang on a first date now due to just lower libido and uncertainty about this issue. Also happens to me with girls that are as sexy as my exes which can make me rock hard right away.

Post: #21

(12-08-2013 02:33 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  Do squats.

lol, when I do a squat program I blast like five feet. Doing a deadlift program right now, Pavels 40 workouts program, deadlifting 4-5x p week 50-80%. Feeling pretty beat down from that, may switch out the deadlifts for squats.

Interesting phenomenon going on here, lots of this with first encounters.

Post: #22

(12-08-2013 04:43 PM)puckman Wrote:  

(12-08-2013 04:26 PM)AfgScarface Wrote:  Dude you said you jerk it 5x a week?

And you have 5+ drinks during dates?

I think you are right but this has never been an issue before.

Maybe it wasn't before but it is an issue now, isn't it?

I know there are some guys that by genetics or some other shit may not have to deal with these problems as they get older, but the vast majority of men will need to be extremely dilligent when it comes to things like diet, exercise, fapping frequency, drinking etc once they cross past their early 30's.

Another thing that I think holds true is that the more you take care of yourself now, the more it will show through in your 40's and beyond. Look at some of the military guys and older guys in the crossfit gyms.

Id like to believe that ill be one of the genetically lucky ones.. but I can't argue with science. I'll most likely have to put the work in early on to stay on a relatively "competitive" level later. I think with these new chicks if you weren't as buzzed and hadn't fapped in 4 days or more the situation would have wound up differently. Just my .02

Post: #23

(12-08-2013 02:33 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

(12-08-2013 08:56 AM)puckman Wrote:  I mean, I am only 38, do I really need a viagra?? Since it happened with my ex, and now with new girls, I am led to believe this is mental.

Do squats.

I know a guy who is a personal trainer and he said the best way to increase testosterone is to do squats.

Post: #24

(12-08-2013 04:26 PM)AfgScarface Wrote:  And you have 5+ drinks during dates?

That shouldn't be the issue.

Hell, sometimes I have that much before I leave the house.

Post: #25

Yeah but he also mentioned that he jerks it 5x a week. It could be a combination of the 2.