Post: #1

So I am 21. I essentially closed myself off from girls all of college because of immaturity/religious reasons. Read a lot about game but never practiced any of it. Ive been changing it up now and am done with my beta days.I've began to go out and day game but I dont think I have taken advantage of my biggest resource, my social circle. I have a lot of girl friends, always have. I didnt really have access to guy friends at an early age. I dont want to ruin these friendships but I do want to change my image with my girl friends and have them start hooking me up with their friends or even hooking up with some of them. I've built the social circle, now how do I take advantage of it? Especially when im seen as like non-sexual being becuase of my attitude before I started game.

Post: #2

You should probably think about how much you care about losing some of those girls from your social circle.

If you care deeply about losing any of the girls (as friends), then:

OPTION A: Focus on your day gaming outside of this circle. Once you build the confidence, social skills etc. there, girls in your social circle will eventually begin to notice and start giving you attention (of a sexual kind). This may take a long time.

If you can accept losing some / all of these girls as friends, then:

OPTION B: be bold, game them, try to kiss them, and if they balk and say something like "I just don't think of you that way" reply with something along the lines of: "Well why not? You're an attractive girl and I really like you. We hang around and talk a lot so that tells me that you like me too. Where's the problem?". This has to be delivered in a tone of: "I've just put all these facts together and this is the logical conclusion." (rather than in the tone of: "if this doesn't work out I might just kill myself").

Do this with one girl in your circle and word will spread that you're now a guy looking for something sexual (which, despite what religion has probably told you, is not a bad thing). Some girls will go out of their way to avoid you (a good sign they weren't worth your friendship in the first place), some girls will start trying to set you up with friends, and some girls may show interest. Either way, you will have changed the dynamic of your circle into something much more navigable. You should also continue gaming outside your circle, this will help you not to be too dependent on getting with any girl from your circle who shows interest (and being too dependent will almost inevitably lead you to fuck it up).

Option A is slower but will involve a smaller emotional toll. Option B is faster with a higher emotional toll. I would go Option B after a month or so of building confidence and game through Option A.

And take into account that if your friends were indeed good friends, they would be helping you to pursue your hopes and dreams, rather than having you as 'someone safe' that they can bitch to about how terribly their last boyfriend treated them etc. This may or may not be the case in your situation, but if it is, it's time to reevaluate!

"Friends don't put each other into boxes like that. The only thing I'll promise is never to do anything unless you and I both feel totally comfortable, willing, and ready."
- Ross Jeffries' reply to the "Let's just be friends" concept.

Post: #3

This lays it out for you:






This is also really good:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I0iNxiICNI


Bookmark and watch often. No shit, no kidding...

Post: #4

Post: #5

I advise you to destroy your social circle and build up a new one that is not based on platonic friendships.

Having girls as friends will hold you back as a man. It's hard to think of women as sexual beings when you are constantly programming yourself to be a nice friend.

When your ex-friends see you gaming other girls, they will be more receptive to your game anyway.

Post: #6

Okay, so I took a hybird approach to goodfellas advice. I made a list of girls who I cant lose as close friends (Family friends or really close) those remain untouched as I work on day game.

Second I made a list of all friends who I'd like to hook up with but wouldnt mind losing as friends. I messaged all these girls and made them laugh, then teased them, then said I had to run but I want to continue the conversation in person. 3 said yes and then I just told them I'll hit them up this week. (this was two days ago)

Now what is my next step? Do I invite them for tea, out for drinks, or to my place to listen to records?

Also, one more question. One of my friends is one of the hottest girls on campus. She likes me because I may be the only guy who doesn't hit on her. I knew her before she was hot. Her best friend though is really fine though. I've never met but apparently she's a former sorority girl who is trying to be indie and travel now. Im pretty "indie"(I dj for independent college radio) and into the local art scene and am well-traveled. Can I just directly ask for my friend to hook me up with her or is there a better way to go about it?

Post: #7

(03-11-2014 01:47 AM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  I advise you to destroy your social circle and build up a new one that is not based on platonic friendships.

Having girls as friends will hold you back as a man. It's hard to think of women as sexual beings when you are constantly programming yourself to be a nice friend.

When your ex-friends see you gaming other girls, they will be more receptive to your game anyway.

I can do this with some girls but there are others I can't lose as friends bc I grew up with them/they hang out with my family/are at my house a lot. Also as beta as it sounds I do need to be a good friend to them as they have done a lot for me. I am trying to start a secondary social circle of now purely for game.

Post: #8

Myth: You need a social circle to game.

You're a college radio dj.

This should be plenty of DHV at your college to start banging away at co-eds.

Post: #9

"Okay, so I took a hybird approach to goodfellas advice. I made a list of girls who I cant lose as close friends (Family friends or really close) those remain untouched as I work on day game. "

Cool, though I think 'untouched' is going a little too far. Though you're not targeting them directly, you should show them slow but definite signs of your change (e.g. dropping in to conversation your date with hot girl X). Your identity is changing and if you attempt to hide that change from any group of people it will dent your progress. On the other hand, when people start expecting you to behave in a certain new way (e.g. here comes the guy that's always flirting with the girls behind the sandwich counter) then that helps with your change and improvement, it's like the opposite of AA.

"Second I made a list of all friends who I'd like to hook up with but wouldn't mind losing as friends. I messaged all these girls and made them laugh, then teased them, then said I had to run but I want to continue the conversation in person. 3 said yes and then I just told them I'll hit them up this week. (this was two days ago)

"Now what is my next step? Do I invite them for tea, out for drinks, or to my place to listen to records?"

Excellent! Make sure you follow up with all of them. Now that you've started the ball rolling, it would be a real shame to lose any opportunity or momentum with any of these girls. It's always better to recommend somewhere neutral first (coffee shop, bookstore, bar etc.) rather than inviting them straight to your house. It's gonna be really important (and I'm going to guess perhaps a challenge for you) to get kino going early. You can think of game in any number of ways: one way is to think that your talking, venue, music, wine, bounces etc are all just background distractions while you build up how much you touch her, until, we hope, you are banging her. This should be the main thing you are reminding yourself of as you run through your date. At the start, find innocuous ways of touching her that are deliberately non-sexual - e.g. put your hand on top of her hand as you react to something you are jokingly interpreting as shocking "You neglected to tell me that you take TWO sugars in your coffee!!!". Within an hour or so of your date your touches should be getting to the point where she should be starting to realise there is some (mild) sexual intent. E.g. arm around her for a second or two and then release. Hold her hand for a second or two and release. Watch videos, read articles about kino for more ideas. Your calibration for when to push and when to release won't be too good initially.... this only comes with practice.

But it's really important you MAKE YOURSELF TOUCH HER as this is absolutely crucial, and I'd guess it's the lack of touching that has you in the friend-zone situation in the first place. She may at some point create an excuse and leave. This is absolutely fine! If it happens, you'll have learned something, your testicles will have grown a little, and, most importantly, you'll be more congruent with your touching behaviour on your next date (with your next girl) which will give you a higher percent chance of pulling it off. After 100 dates it will all come across as natural and smooth. Also, don't invite her for "tea", or at least don't call it that, it conjures images of Old English gentry taking a pause during a mightily spiffing game of Polo. If you invite her for coffee and end up drinking tea she won't nail you for that inconsistency, don't worry!

"Also, one more question. One of my friends is one of the hottest girls on campus. She likes me because I may be the only guy who doesn't hit on her."

This smells a little like an attitude you have to change. You should never be priding yourself on having a value such as "I am too much of a gentleman to hit on this girl". You need to embrace your manhood. Why aren't you hitting on her? She's clearly hot and a nice person, so you should definitely be hitting on her. Whatever other rationalisations you have need to be analysed and dispelled. This is important.

"I knew her before she was hot. Her best friend though is really fine though. I've never met but apparently she's a former sorority girl who is trying to be indie and travel now. Im pretty "indie"(I dj for independent college radio) and into the local art scene and am well-traveled. Can I just directly ask for my friend to hook me up with her or is there a better way to go about it?"

Decide which girl you prefer first. It sounds like you haven't talked much with indie-girl, so manufacture an opportunity to do so. For example, when your friend next mentions going to meet indie-girl for a coffee in X coffee shop, tell her that you're going that way too because you are picking up Y from Z and then join them for the coffee for a little while. Then, knowing who you are dealing with, pursue the girl you prefer. Also, always try to go directly for the girl you like: YOU ask for her phone number, YOU set up the date (since in the end it's you who wants to be banging her). It communicates confidence and manliness. The only time you should be letting girls do the work for you is when they suggest a girl for you (which usually means that friend has expressed interest in you already).

Good luck and keep us posted on your adventures!

Post: #10

Update:

First of all thank you everyone for the advice. This past week has been tough but one of the greatest ive had so far. I still have not really changed anything but I am building up momentum at an incredible place. Last night I had 2 different girls both trying to meet up with me while I was out with female friends and legit have seen a change in how they view me as I was flirting with other girls.

That video really helped too. It makes sense. Some of my female friends tolerate me and do really enjoy hanging out with me but do not respect me. They just tolerate me. Because I was not assertive with them.

So last week, I was like if Mcqueen considers me to have DHV then THAT IS DEF DHV. I was super confident. Through the roof. So right after reading that went to school, saw a girl I thought was cute and started walking towards her to approach. Anyways by the time I got to her, she gets meets up with her boyfriend. Nothing lost though just 15 minutes. As I was walking to the library I see indie-girl and just walk up to her and introduce myself. We talk about travel and music for like 5 minutes and then I suggest the me, her and our mutual friend should hang out. She tells me to add her on FB and message her. I still havent messaged her as her friend cancelled my plans to hang out this weekend bc she got called into work. I ran into indie girl at a cafe two days ago but didnt really chat. Just said hi and went about my work. It was midnight and I had a test in a few hours. What should my next step be?

Also, going for this girl would be good in two ways. A) shes hot B) if I am assertive with her friend, my original friend will respect me more.

Post: #11

man i was knee deep with "bff" girlfriends in high school and right out of high school. I wanted to bang every single one of them. Talk about PTSD reading this.

I agree with Mcqueen, you could be a lone wolf hunting these girls, who needs a social circle !

College Radio DJ ? There is so much you can do with that man !

Good Luck !