Post: #1

On the surface, the question "what does it mean when a girl says 'he makes me feel special'" sounds beta. But here's the background:

My last gf, we drifted apart after about 6 months - just the natural drifting apart that I felt for her and she felt for me. She ended up going back to her previous bf (a married dude with 3 kids) who she had told me in the past she really liked "because he made her feel special."

This is not a one-off situation though. Looking back most of my gfs have said that I could be arrogant, a dick, etc. I don't want to be perceived this way, and I've worked to really tame those characteristics. However, they basically said I never made them feel special.

I reflected on my own life of when someone made me feel special and appreciated. I could count several times where I was embodied by the warm feeling of really being appreciated by someone (usually from school/work), but could not pin point what that person did to make feel special as I could not remember any specifics, just the overall feeling.

This morning I was talking to one of my good friends who told me his gf this past weekend tried to pull off the "how come you don't make me feel special" card on him and he and I were both at a loss on what the fuck that means. lol.

I would like to hear what others have said or done to make a girl feel special, because I really want this tool to add to my bag of tricks! Obviously it is a tool to use in relationship game, not during the courtship phase.

I think it is important to truly appreciate those few people who you do care about in life, and I guess my EQ (emotional intelligence) is a little delinquent in this regard.

Post: #2

It means she has an attraction to him for whatever reason and needs to justify it because she feels guilty and/or out of touch with her sexuality. I don't buy it that these men are going out of their way to make anyone feel "special." If a woman says her b/f or husband isn't, it's a way of saying she's getting less attracted to him.

This is the female version of men saying that they read Playboy for the articles.

That said, I've noticed a lot these guys have a push-pull/authoritative demeanor that makes panties wet. If this is constantly happening to you, you might be coming off to "brother-ish." Either get tougher or date way younger women who you'll be an authority figure to by default.

Post: #3

I believe what they mean is that all girls want to be the "one" that fixes the asshole/jerkboy, or "rescues" the man from himself and makes him commit to her and no one else (i.e. no harem of girls).

The heartiste has written about this i think and mentions it recently here (email 1): http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/04/0...e-its-you/

So in other words i think if you act more like an asshole/jerk/badboy they like that and the fact that they're your girlfriend makes them feel "special"
because they feel as if their getting a high value (i.e. non-commital) man to commit to "little ol me."

That's my 2cents. I guess its kind of like having a dime piece want to be your girlfriend or better yet in your harem.

Post: #4

Womanese for: he fucks me better than you.

Post: #5

Every woman wants to be made to feel special. But what does that look like on the guy's end?

It's a complex question. But I think a huge chunk of it comes from learning to be present with a girl.

Most of the time we're absent, or in our heads, or thinking of the next thing we want to say or have to do. If you can train yourself to dive deeply into the moment and actually BE there 100%, embracing what's happening NOW, then when a woman is speaking to you or even with you somewhere, she'll really feel like you're there with her. Like you hear her, see her and understand her. Talking less helps.

Presence is contagious to boot. If you're present it sucks other people in. You know that feeling when somebody has really powerful eye contact and it forces you to snap out of your thoughts and sucks you into the intensity of the moment? What if your whole being can have this effect on the person you're with? Well, it can. It comes with practice and experience.

The second thing I'm going to say also comes with practice and experience: you've got to fuck a woman real good. Considering how poorly most guys make love, that in itself is special!

I was just with a girl last night for the first time. Cute little 21 year old thing, quite precocious. She's been with a lot of guys (I was ask about that kind of thing, I'm curious) and she told me that only 2 guys ever gave her a fucking that really left her feeling amazing. She even forgot when the last time she felt like that was. Until I reminded her.

And surprise surprise, fucking a girl good is equal parts dominance and presence. Yeah you can be a dominant gorilla but if you're oblivious to subtle movements and sounds and sensations and don't tune in to that energetic channel, you'll just be pounding away and she'll see that you're not even there with her and it'll turn her off a bit.

And on the flip side, if you're switched on and paying attention but don't exercise dominance often enough, the girl won't get her primal need for manhandling met.

The last thing I want to say is that if you can really allow yourself to feel that the girl your'e with IS special, and allow that to come through in your eyes and your body language and your fucking and everything you do with her, she'll feel it man. On one level, women are all the same. But on the other hand, they're so incredibly unique and different from one another.

The older I get (28 now), the more I really feel like every girl I'm with brings something uniquely beautiful to my life. Like she adds something to the mural of my personality. Or teaches me something new. A new perspective, a new mannerism, a new trick in bed. There's something about being open and available to how beautiful and special a woman can be and allowing yourself to feel that authentically and without apology and not hide it.

And it's not anything you do in particular. If she sees it and feels it, it will make her feel that she's special just being with you.

Post: #6

I've found that girls can feel really special over seemingly "little things."

The girl I'm dating now was absolutely blown away when for her birthday I picked out a two dollar card and put a bunch of silly saying in it with different color markers and went to the local artsy place and picked out a little animal (that she likes) pendant and put it on a super super simple chain. Didn't cost me hardly anything, but I put a little thought into it.

Yes, you have to fuck her good, yes you have to be dominant. Showing her a little thoughtfulness and rewarding her for supporting you is sometimes how you can keep them completely stricken with you.

Post: #7

Contrast.

Fuck her good, yell at her when she acts up, dont take her shit, etc.

But.

Take her side in her drama between friends, act like you care, make her feel she is the only one, make her look good in front of her friends (huge).

Post: #8

"you make me feel special" = you appreciate things in me that I feel insecure about so that I feel more safe with you.

When girls don't say that to you it means you don't express your honest appreciation for who they are. I know it sounds big but doesn't have to be. Let's say a girl has stupid problem like trying to quit smoking. You can tell her you're proud of her strong willpower and determination and give her kiss on a forehead etc. That will make her feel special. Get it?

Post: #9

McQueen has spoken, end the thread.

Post: #10

It's amazing that, out of all the single men out the world available to her, a woman would still rather fuck a married guy with three kids...

But anyway, I think the phrase "he makes me feel special" has a lot to do with raw sexual attraction she feels towards a particular man. They phrase it this way to give the impression to others that she likes the guy for his personality, rather than his money/social status/looks/intelligence etc.

Post: #11

Freud be damned.

They want a man they can look up to (a father figure). The "makes me feel special" is like when a little kid goes up to her father with a good grade. The father compliments her, but does a bit of a push/pull. Remember relationship dread. Women want an idealized relationship with their father and congrats you get to fulfill that role for her.

I get this all of the time. It's part of my "natural game" and is what makes women stick around. Be careful because this is a recipe for alpha widow syndrome.

Post: #12

I'm going to have to go a different route here and say that "he makes me feel special" means you might be throwing on too much push or asshole game. She needs to feel commitment or she'll feel like she's giving herself away for nothing.

In every relationship there comes a point where a woman will have a moment of clarity. She will subconsciously realize she is devoting her time and sex to you, and want to justify it by examining her return (commitment). Oftentimes shit tests go through the roof. If you're in a relationship, she may start discussing getting a pet together (mom instinct) or asking about long term plans you have for the relationship (where do you see this going?!)

If you're just fucking her, this is often the period where she'll try to force you into a relationship. She may also start saying shit about "she doesn't want to see you any more". If she thinks she has less play, she might just start leaving shit at your place, suggesting you spend non-fucking time together, and other such inane nonsense. Whatever she can do to see that a relationship is progressing.

I've noticed this happens around the 7 month mark in every relationship I've ever been in, like a goddamn clock. It is at this point that you have to pass her shit tests with flying colors. Refuse the further commitment, but at some point do something unrelated to her request or demand that acts as a pull. Take her on a date, do something that gives her inner justification to keep banging you.

If you don't, she'll start wandering to other guys and look fondly on past relationships where she wasn't just a fuckdoll. Rarely, however, is this permanent. She'll usually try to come back once shesw got it out of her system.

If you acquiesce to her demands, she'll continually make steeper ones.

If you have enough plates spinning, it's not a terrible idea to just let her go. This loop will happen within shorter time periods over and over until it finally becomes unsustainable. Not worth the trouble to handle this more than once per chick, in my opinion.

Post: #13

(04-17-2014 03:14 AM)Biologist Wrote:  It's amazing that, out of all the single men out the world available to her, a woman would still rather fuck a married guy with three kids...

Ain't it? That's something the OP should take note of.

(04-17-2014 10:27 AM)Texas_Tryhard Wrote:  I'm going to have to go a different route here and say that "he makes me feel special" means you might be throwing on too much push or asshole game. She needs to feel commitment or she'll feel like she's giving herself away for nothing.

That was my thought from reading the OP. You've gotta have some pull to offset the push. Asshole game shows her that you don't give a fuck and don't take shit, but too much and it shows you don't give a fuck about her. No healthy person wants to be with someone who doesn't like them. Teasing is one thing, but talking down & condescending, you have to save that for when she deserves it. Try the 5 love languages approach. She appreciates gifts? Get her a (little) gift. She likes words of affirmation? Say something sweet to her. She appreciates time together? Waste a couple hours with her doing something together. A little goes a long way, don't turn into a needy fuck. Just when she thinks "he's not that into me", BAM. "Awww, he's so sweet..."

Or maybe CMQ is right, the other dude just fucks her better.

Post: #14

There's not much proven knowledge out there about relationship game since most players don't get into LTR. Obviously asshole game or psychopath game will start to lose it's effect on her when you're overdoing it. She already knows your SMV is high and sees you as an alpha. At some point, if you wanna continue seeing her, you might have to do something nice for her, like hang out with her stupid family or take her to a concert or a weekend getaway or something. Obviously as a red piller that's the last thing you wanna do, based on everything you've learned you think it's beta as fuck. At that point you have to decide if she's worth keeping or letting go. That's just my 2 cents. I hope I'm wrong and it's really just about being attractive to her and fucking her good like McQueen suggested, in that case it's an easy fix.

Post: #15

You really don't need any work on your game from what I see bro. Just balance your assholishness with some compliments every blue moon. Just ONE compliment to a girl per interaction with her will be enough really. Remember that Maxim V from heartiste.

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixte...s-of-poon/

Post: #16

Someone posted this link and it was an entertaining read. The line at the very end made me immediately think of this thread. Quoted below:

Quote:A man that can have many women makes a women he chooses to be with feel special. Be that man.

http://www.pipubs.com/one-item-every-bachelor-needs/

Post: #17

Womanese for: he fucks me better than you

McQueen gave the answer, Nuff said.

Post: #18

(04-18-2014 05:33 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  Someone posted this link and it was an entertaining read. The line at the very end made me immediately think of this thread. Quoted below:

Quote:A man that can have many women makes a women he chooses to be with feel special. Be that man.

http://www.pipubs.com/one-item-every-bachelor-needs/

Absolutely, that's a great quote. Combine it with recognizing what she considers her strong traits, what she feels proud of in herself. Everyone wants to be recognized for what they care about.