Post: #1

I am very young and lately have been in a terrible hump. The last 2 sexual encounters I've had have been a disaster. Last night my worst moment ever. I just couldn't get up. I got a weak boner for about 2 minutes then came without being fully hard. 2 weeks ago I got a boner that would barely stay hard. I really do not know what is wrong because this time last month I was fine and could get hard on command. Lately even my horniness levels have been low and I don't know why. I exercise all of the time have a good diet do not smoke drink or watch porn. Nothing in life is causing me stress and I don't stress easily. Has anyone ever had this type of problem? (I'm particularly worried because of my age) How did you fix it without taking Viagra?

Post: #2

Elaborate on your diet and exercise.

Post: #3

It sounds like a low testosterone problem, there are a lot tips on here to help that like lifting heavy weights, paleo diet, zinc, vitamin D etc. What have you looked into already?

Post: #4

Stop masturbating and work out.

Post: #5

Weight lift: 3-4 days per week, run track 2 days a week and play football 1 day. In terms of my diet I eat a lot of eggs, brown bread, beef chicken, pasta and brown rice. I've looked into the low testosterone possibility and I think it may be that some of my symptoms match i.e low sex drive as of late. I'm going to buy all of the supplements at the health food store today and hope this stuff works.

Post: #6

Do you masturbate, and/or have wet dreams, and if so how often?

Were you nervous during those two failed sexual encounters? Did you know the girls well and trust them?

Have you been depressed lately?

Post: #7

No I actually stopped masturbating because I saw that it was bad for the brain. The first failed one I wasn't nervous at all because I wasn't expecting it. The second one was weird. I had a boner for about 20 minutes during foreplay but when I pulled it out and it started to go soft I started to get nervous. I knew the girls well enough but I don't think that's a factor. I've had sex with girls I don't really know like or care for in the past and I've been fine. The answer to the depressed question is I don't think so. I'm very laid back and never really get stressed about anything at all. Maybe I don't know how to identify when I am stressed/depressed but I think I'd know.

Post: #8

"I've had sex with girls I don't really know like or care for in the past and I've been fine."

^That could be the key right there.

It's not uncommon for men to actually NOT perform as well with girls they really like, but perform like pornstars with girls that they are attracted to, but are not invested in on an emotional level.

Post: #9

Well, nothing obvious jumps out at me as a problem.

I had problems not being able to stay completely hard with a girl about 2 years back several times in a row, and I'm pretty sure it's because I was just exhausted from working 70+ hour weeks and dealing with other crap on top of it. That was some frustrating sex.

Lifting is good, but what most people do is a joke, so... if you're not lifting heavy, start. Nothing gets my sex drive going like regular heavy squats and deadlifts.

Anyway I wouldn't worry about it just yet. Two times isn't exactly a trend.

Post: #10

If everything else is ok in your life, as you say, then I'd put it down to a lack of sexual compatibility/chemistry...and dare I say it, her not validating you adequately.

Doesn't matter how hot the chick is, if there is something not right between the two of you, and you are sensitive to it, your dick is pretty intelligent and will do the deciding for you.

Some doods can just plow on regardless if a chick is really into them or not, but others (myself included) are more fragile ego wise, and can tell if a chick is disingenuous about her bang enthusiasm.

Call it beta if you like, but it's a very real thing, and something linked to personality types based in the introvert spectrum (imho).

Read this thread for my go to move.

EDIT: Christian McQueen's post is very relevant too. Essentially, in that type of scenario, nerves are coming into play (even if not obviously evident) due to perceiving the girl as a high value target. The whole bumping uglies thing, successfully, relies on the guy dominating the girl. If your lizard brain (not lizard as in women, lizard as in primitive) is being sabotaged with the sometimes overwhelming task of sealing the deal with a hot chick, then it'll have a detrimental effect on your physiology (read: no or lack of sustained boner).

Cialis can help here, but the most potent aphrodisiac I've found (in line with what I mentioned above) is if the chick displays genuine affection for you, and verbalises it or makes it painfully obvious. If it's two strangers meeting, then the chances of there being anything genuine are pretty much non existent...which is why SNL's are problematic for some.

Post: #11

Porn induced anxiety.

Post: #12

You have to listen to your dick.

You need to screen for girls that it actually wants to fuck. It's hard (no pun intended)to keep it up for girls that you are not attracted to .. Almost impossible.

This yarn about masturbating or not.. I believe too many people scapegoat masturbation, it sounds like you need to try to see things from a different perspective.

Anxiety is the number one cause of "sexual dysfunction". Maybe you need to get to the root of what is causing your anxiety.

Also, go read the newbie forum.. Your post definitely belongs in there.

Post: #13

(05-07-2014 06:15 AM)Windom Earle Wrote:  If everything else is ok in your life, as you say, then I'd put it down to a lack of sexual compatibility/chemistry...and dare I say it, her not validating you adequately.

Doesn't matter how hot the chick is, if there is something not right between the two of you, and you are sensitive to it, your dick is pretty intelligent and will do the deciding for you.

Some doods can just plow on regardless if a chick is really into them or not, but others (myself included) are more fragile ego wise, and can tell if a chick is disingenuous about her bang enthusiasm.

Call it beta if you like, but it's a very real thing, and something linked to personality types based in the introvert spectrum (imho).

Read this thread for my go to move.

EDIT: Christian McQueen's post is very relevant too. Essentially, in that type of scenario, nerves are coming into play (even if not obviously evident) due to perceiving the girl as a high value target. The whole bumping uglies thing, successfully, relies on the guy dominating the girl. If your lizard brain (not lizard as in women, lizard as in primitive) is being sabotaged with the sometimes overwhelming task of sealing the deal with a hot chick, then it'll have a detrimental effect on your physiology (read: no or lack of sustained boner).

Cialis can help here, but the most potent aphrodisiac I've found (in line with what I mentioned above) is if the chick displays genuine affection for you, and verbalises it or makes it painfully obvious. If it's two strangers meeting, then the chances of there being anything genuine are pretty much non existent...which is why SNL's are problematic for some.

*2, i've run into the problem of the boner test not passing on what i would see as a marginally attractive 6-7 girl.

Follow your little head, the girl should validate you just as you validate her.

Post: #14

Lifting of course helps a lot. Also try L-theanine which has worked for me. Let us know if it does for you.

Post: #15

Are you on Propecia (finasteride) or any antidepressants?

Post: #16

I had the same problem. I'm around your age. I fixed it by either dominating her moreso than I had been before e.g. being on top always / moving her around OR sleeping more. I'm not sure which solved the issue as I implemented these changes at the same time.

Youre fine most likely. Dont stress out about it because thats boner killer.

Post: #17

If you had a boner while making out and then got limp, that tells me it is anxiety due to caring too much about performing. Did you bang her later? If it happens again, just shrug your shoulders, lay back and have a chat with the girl. After 10-15 minutes you will likely feel more at ease and then you will subconsciously start to realize "hey why am I not fucking this girl" and then presto, your dick will be hard for the rest of the session. Used to happen to me when I was younger and inexperienced. Would go limp in beginning, then kick it back and relax and chill with her, then would stay hard for hours afterwards. I think it is quite common.

Post: #18

(05-07-2014 06:05 AM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  "I've had sex with girls I don't really know like or care for in the past and I've been fine."

^That could be the key right there.

It's not uncommon for men to actually NOT perform as well with girls they really like, but perform like pornstars with girls that they are attracted to, but are not invested in on an emotional level.

McQueen nailed it.

I've had that experience with a girl I was really in love with, and wanted to please. I was so nervous and wanting to make her like me that I couldn't get hard. Thankfully, she was a really sweet person (which is why I was so in to her), told me it didn't matter because she really just enjoyed being with me no matter what.

Of course, the moment I felt how accepting she was of me, I got hard as a rock, and we fucked five times. Funny how that works.

Post: #19

Thanks for the responses guys. I really think it's a mixture of everything. Having thought about it more I think it may be an issue of attraction too. The girl is very pretty but I'm not that sexually attracted to her. I saw another girl I'm messing with briefly today and got a semi just talking to her. Which I found reassuring.

Post: #20

I've never been able to get it up with girls I'm not instantly attracted to physically (without narcotics anyway).

It's nature's way of telling you to sort your shit out and target higher value girls.

My dad used to be a bodybuilder and his main piece of advice to me is always "listen to your body".

I'm now passing that on to you young grasshopper

Post: #21

A lot of people jumping on the bandwagon of low T and too much masturbation as usual. It seems like your habits are not out of check, and that there's less than usual chance of you failing to make it happen out of anxiety. If I were you i'd monitor my sex drive, morning wood and strength of boners. You might have a physiological problem, in which case some tests should be done by a doctor, to make sure that there isn't an underlying condition.