Post: #1

Had a long discussion with a friend of mine who has a PhD in psychology, and came up with this.

I've noticed, the majority of people, do not invoke strong emotion in others one way or the other. Thus, they receive the "courtesy of indifference". I'm not referring to seduction either (since attractive women always get attention), only day-to-day civilian interactions and especially the workplace.

Some people, I'd put myself in this category, even being courteous & polite with most everyone - do not seem to get along with the status quo. There's guys who try to be controversial and still can't be, others, don't even have to try.

I've attributed it to society having a need to categorize people. In the midwest, being into flashy fashion and being a straight guy is something that can actually upset the public. Essentially, because they cannot categorize how they'd like, you confuse them, thus aren't given the "courtesy of indifference" the regular guy will have.

Example, hipsters can be categorized, regardless of how odd their style is, but a truly stylish guy cannot be categorized. Essentially, the "non-conformist" hipster makes more sense to the status quo in terms of being categorized.

Casanova in his memoirs said he took the most pride in his ability "to cause contempt in others". There is something about a confident male that has always upset the public, unless it's in the grown-up boy scout sense.

Look at how many people openly hate Cristiano Ronaldo for example. There's no courtesy of indifference for him.

Thoughts?

Post: #2

Great post idea!

One of the ways to become controversial is to defy categorization.

And the way to defy categorization is to live spontaneously, by dancing with the moment so to speak.

Predictable people live according to fixed dogmas, ideologies, religions, etc.

They have a rigid approach to life.

You can almost push a certain button with them and you'll get the exact reaction you're expecting.

Fluid people, on the other hand, cultivate awareness and flow in the moment.

These people are hard to pin down and categorize.

They don't adhere to some party line or movement.

And merely by virtue of being hard to pin down and categorize, you'll create controversy as a natural consequence without even trying.

Post: #3

Definitely a middle class/suburban American issue.

I'm used to environments and places where people are not so domesticated/civilized.

The more you travel out of the bubble, the more you'll see the bubble for what it is.

WIA

Post: #4

Dumb shit like" the first person to raise their voice loses."

Typical protestant, penitent man, good for the economy bullshit.

Post: #5

Even take a guy like Johnny Manziel, regular American guy, happens to be a talented QB...but he likes to party with celebrities.

Of course, the public hates it when a guy is too cool and makes it known he likes to party. There's no "courtesy of indifference" for him either.

Post: #6

I've noticed something when working for large organizations... when you want to leave it triggers a lot of resentment. Probably projected anger by the people who for one reason or another can't leave.

I thought about it and came up with this:

The next worst sin in a tribe after treason, is not wanting to be a member.

Post: #7

Interesting post op. Instead of indifference I had to deal with provoking strong reactions my whole adult life. Which isn't very hard in the American culture espec. now.

I just think that you are using slightly wrong example in Ronaldo. He is the most globally recognized football player in the world so sheer numbers are at play here, but he also kind of looks/behaves like a fairy. That is always bound to invite non-indifference for all the wrong reasons.

Look at Ibrahimovic who behaves like a certified arrogant asshole on/off the pitch, and while controversial does not invite nearly as much hate (per football fan capita) as Ronaldo (because his tougher image/tall height are more congruent with his perceived personality.)

Though I'm prolly going in different direction with this than you intended.