Post: #1

I am in a weird situation. Day gamed a girl on the street. Coffee date at a later date. Then "adventure date" at another later date. Ended with f-close. Success!

I did a few more "adventure dates" on the following 3 next weekends. Things are going good. Whether I classify her as my girlfriend... I don't know, but it's a intimate sexual relationship to-this-date (and she seems up for it everytime she meets me).

Then she tells me she is "dating" a guy for the past 4 months from another country met over the internet - but never met in person yet. Just Skype calls, etc. She says she had dated guys from this city, carefully filtered out players, etc. and narrowed it down to the gentle/nice internet guy. They had already arranged he come here for 4 days to see her.

The internet guy came to this city. She saw him. I kept quiet because I saw my relationship with her too premature. It would've been better if she never told me about her problems - all it's caused me with jealously/bad thoughts.

After internet guy left, me and her met up for our 1-monthersary of 1st sex/kiss (cheesy thing). She told me:

- he got bit fatter than his profile pic coz she thought he was athletic
- he lied about being a social smoker coz he smoked discretely while with her
- she did say it was a bit boring, coz he's too academic-minded? and that I was better than him?
- she says that me & other guy are BOTH nice good guys and we (me & him) even said the same things when she told other guy about me, he said "don't want to lose her, just wants her to be happy, etc."
- her friends advised she should chose carefully which guy to go with
- she's still undecided
- she even suggested to me I get another girl just to make it "fair" (but I've told her that I've already chosen)

(plus, we were like couples again, even on the same day he left... had romantic dinner and slept at hers... and she even said it's totally confusing her)

So what I totally don't understand is, how can a girl still be attached to a long-distance relationship, probably hasn't k-close or f-closed other guy... while am consistently sleeping with her? Everytime we see each other, it's intimate and sexual.

Just when I thought I was safe and thought she picked me... she phoned me next day and said she still undecided.

I really want to be exclusive/committed to this girl. So I've come to seek advice/counsel from this community.

My action-points:

- I cannot be needy or controlling about this situation
- I cannot tell her what to logically do, only tell her to follow her feelings
- I cannot get angry or argue with her about this situation
- I must develop inner-game more since this is probably the only thing I can do consistently
- anytime she talks about her BF problems, I must politely acknowledge then divert the subject to take her mind off it.
- punish/reward her for good/bad behavior (give/take away attention, etc.)
- setting frames, controlling frames

Post: #2

I think you may already be too far gone, but my first thought was to stop talking to her, at least for a while. What she wants most of all is an emotional connection, but one that is on her terms. My red flag is her "giving" permission to you to bang out someone else.

Post: #3

Even if she is getting dick from you, attention is something that she still enjoys. It's like a drug for her. Almost all women have a soft spot for attention whoring. Receiving adoration from other guys, no matter whether she fucks them or not, is like receiving money would be for you. Even if you had lots of it, you would still enjoy getting more of it. There is no ceiling on how much you can take in, it's always the more the merrier.

Your planned actions seem nice. However:

Don't, absolutely don't try to make her into your girlfriend or something because both she won't be a good girlfriend and it will cause you to lose what you have now.

The saying "you can't turn a ho into a housewife" is absolutely correct. She's a slutty girl who enjoys casual sex while milking other men for attention (nothing wrong with it in the moral sense ofc., it just makes her unreliable). Just try to keep what you have burning as long as possible and enjoy yourself while it lasts.

And don't let her make her your "boyfriend" after she "comes to a decision". You're not a good at the supermarket to be selected after some analysis. If she wants to talk about it, just give her some hamster fuel by telling her that "you don't like labeling things" or "you value your independence".

Post: #4

(05-22-2014 05:30 AM)andwan0 Wrote:  I am in a weird situation. Day gamed a girl on the street. Coffee date at a later date. Then "adventure date" at another later date. Ended with f-close. Success!
.....

"So what I totally don't understand is, how can a girl still be attached to a long-distance relationship, probably hasn't k-close or f-closed other guy... while am consistently sleeping with her? Everytime we see each other, it's intimate and sexual."

It's the romance novel/romantic comedy aspect of it. Some women like novelty and fantasy over dependable men.

You need to stop thinking of it in terms of she "picked" you and go out and pick someone else. The reason for this is it's unlikely you'll win out since you've discussed that you're competing, which automatically makes you look thirsty (not a quality most women like). Next time, don't acknowledge such things. You're playing into her need to drama. Try to remain above it.

I know because I once responded the same way. Ended up losing in the end. I remember thinking dating this particular girl was like the line in that Bob Marley song "Waiting in Vain" where he's down low on someone's list.

I could have played it better by being more aloof and getting with the scads of 18-23 year old girls I knew, instead of whining over one. Step back, date around and get some perspective. Sure, you're into her now. But I'll bet if you go on a few dates with someone else, you'll get attached to her too.

...and just to show you how these things end up, I looked up the girl that did this to me on Facebook. She used to model, but is now positively frightening. Bloated and frumpy. Divorced with one kid and apparently "found religion" (funny, since she was always screwing more than one guy at once).

So if you wind up losing in this situation, you might win in the end after all. You don't want to be waking up with what I just saw.

Post: #5

This chick is a waste of time for anything long term. Trying anything out or attempting a relationship will result in you getting eaten alive. Your frame is not strong enough.

Welcome to having 1 chick in your harem. Time to fill it up. Juggle chicks until you can easily detach from the bad ones to find the good ones.

Post: #6

Frenchie is absolutely right on this one!! When a girl ask you to keep a girl around, it's a clear sign that she's giving you that she's playing the field. And there's nothing wrong with that, but you simply cannot attach yourself with her since she won't be sticking around.

If you cannot help yourself and you're attached to her... you should stop seeing her since you ain't experienced enough and you'll get burned hard. Go Daygame another one son and keep her on the side!

And lastly, when you used the term " 1-monthersery "... that's the kind of term that just makes a pimp stomach turn sideways so please refrain from using that term ever again

Post: #7

Keep fucking her, and keep fucking other girls. And quit talking like a pussy, as Captain Gh mentioned.

Post: #8

"Just when I thought I was safe and thought she picked me... she phoned me next day and said she still undecided."

Wrong.

The woman should always be the one begging for a relationship.

Post: #9

So you managed to f-close a girl from day game and you're scared it will be taken away from you by some guy she treats like a chump?

Go out and find more women. You will forget her pretty soon if you had 5 other girls to text and arrange a f-close date with.

Post: #10

(this really belongs in the newbie section)

If she brings this guy up again, tell her "I'm not here to deal with your problems, I'm here to have fun." This girl is only good for sex and if she tries to get more (dates, dinner, etc) from here on out you need to shut her down.

Realize this girl is a whore and if you think you want her as a girlfriend you've been mindfucked and should cut off all contact. It's clear from the neediness in your post that you value this girl highly for some strange reason (she's shown already that she gives it up to online people who don't even live near her) and don't have a handle on valuing yourself relationship-wise. She's trying to make her problem yours to watch you get dramatic and receive validation. Refuse to talk about it, and if she tries to drag you into it after you've said the above, hard next her (walk away immediately, never talk to her again, shut off contact). I mean it. This is the type of girl that will string you along and lower your self esteem trying to "win" her. Don't be an idiot.

DO NOT make this girl your girlfriend. SHE IS A WHORE and is telling you in loud letters that she has no intention of settling. If you can't see this you need to avoid more-than-sex relationships until you have a good handle on people socially.