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Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
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OBJ Snakebite Offline
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Post: #1
Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
Sorry for the link to Jezebel, but this is hilarious. I don't know why, but it is:

[Image: nrzey9daethcfx7hbmig.jpg]

Quote:Most runners I know who are not also liars acknowledge that running sucks much (okay, most) of the time. Usually, I deal with how much I hate it by complaining about it to people who really, truly do not care. But one San Francisco woman has channeled that love-hate relationship into something beautiful: using the latest in satellite-enabled exercise tracking technology and her own running feet to draw pictures of dicks.

The American hero behind Running Drawing is San Franciscan Claire Wyckoff. To be fair, some of Wykoff's Nike+ drawings are not dicks — she recently made an Atari Space Invaders character and an extended middle finger, for example — but most of them are. Dicks of all sizes. Fat dicks, skinny dicks. Dicks who climb on rocks.

Over at Uproxx, Stacey Ritzen is pretty jazzed (jizzed? Oh, god. I'm sorry) about what Wykoff's been up to, and thinks it could have beautiful ramifications for future road race course designs. She writes,

"The possibilities are endless. Dick 5Ks? Cock and Balls Half
Marathons? PENIS-SHAPED MEDALS? As both a runner and purveyor
of fine dick humor, my head is absolutely spinning with the possibilities."

Two takeaways here: first, this is literally the only reason I'd ever use Nike+. And second, I think I want to marry Claire Wyckoff.
08-06-2014 02:26 PM
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General Stalin Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
Great use of time. This is typical shit a middle-class American white girl would do for attention.
08-06-2014 03:13 PM
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d-d-m Offline
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
She's probably close to hitting the wall, so she needs to motivate herself by "drawing" what she craves.
(This post was last modified: 08-06-2014 03:41 PM by d-d-m.)
08-06-2014 03:33 PM
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Que enspastic Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
My former athletics club used to do this. It's actually harder than it looks. You need ample parkland rather than grids of straight roads. Otherwise you end up with block shaped dicks like her one on the right.
08-06-2014 03:37 PM
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Enigma Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
I don't see why this is hate worthy.

One of the most difficult aspects of running distances like that on a regular basis is allowing your route to become monotonous. This is just something to make it interesting and keep your mind off how far you have left to run.

At least she's staying in shape.
08-06-2014 03:50 PM
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Samseau Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
As long as it gets them to lose fat.

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08-06-2014 04:32 PM
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AntiTrace Offline
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
This is awesome. I dont know why some guys are hating, a girl that has a sense of humor enough to do this gets a bonus +.5 from me. Combine that with an interest in fitness and she gets a bonus +1.

God'll prolly have me on some real strict shit
No sleeping all day, no getting my dick licked

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08-06-2014 07:16 PM
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The Reactionary Tree Offline
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
She is truly an American hero. She should be given a medal. Her and Sandra Fluke are the greatest Americans to have ever existed.

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(This post was last modified: 08-06-2014 07:22 PM by The Reactionary Tree.)
08-06-2014 07:21 PM
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Post: #9
RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
Good on her that she's doing sports and staying in shape, but note again the annoying use of masculine and raunchy language in the way she talks/writes.

Quote:The possibilities are endless. Dick 5Ks? Cock and Balls Half Marathons? PENIS-SHAPED MEDALS? As both a runner and purveyor of fine dick humor, my head is absolutely spinning with the possibilities.

What's up with American chicks thinking dirty jokes = smarts?
08-06-2014 07:23 PM
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Jukes Offline
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
Ha! Superbad movie in real life
08-06-2014 07:53 PM
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monster Offline
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
Imagine if this were a male runner who ran in the shape of tits&ass? He would be the "world's biggest perv"
08-06-2014 08:08 PM
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RioNomad Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
The dick running doesn't bother me, but it makes me cringe a little inside when I hear women who speak like this:

"The possibilities are endless. Dick 5Ks? Cock and Balls Half
Marathons? PENIS-SHAPED MEDALS? As both a runner and purveyor
of fine dick humor, my head is absolutely spinning with the possibilities."
08-06-2014 09:55 PM
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samsamsam Offline
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
RVF is slipping by now someone usually looks for a pic of the chick to see if she is bangable.

From her Instagram.
[Image: cw_1.jpg?noCache=1407383946]

Looks like this chick.

[Image: Claire_Wyckoff.jpg&width=800&height=800]

WNB.

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(This post was last modified: 08-06-2014 11:09 PM by samsamsam.)
08-06-2014 11:01 PM
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Samseau Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
^ She's old and probably hasn't been fucked good in a long time. She's drawing dicks because she needs some good D.

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08-06-2014 11:52 PM
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Dr. Howard
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Post: #15
RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
The other standard. Imagine the hate a guy that was drawing various tits asses or pussies.

He'd be labled all sorts of nasty things.

We were meant for far more than to suffer in our self created prisons only to die alone. It doesn't have to be that way. It never did.
08-06-2014 11:58 PM
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germanico Offline
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
(08-06-2014 03:13 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  Great use of time.

What? Reading Jezabel?

Dodgy
08-06-2014 11:58 PM
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Mentavious Offline
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
Look at those hands! Yuck

A man is only as faithful as his options-Chris Rock
08-06-2014 11:59 PM
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OBJ Snakebite Offline
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
(08-06-2014 11:58 PM)germanico Wrote:  
(08-06-2014 03:13 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  Great use of time.

What? Reading Jezabel?

Dodgy

I wouldn't dare. This popped up on my facebook feed from my army friend who posts all kinds of f#cked up crap. For fear of wrath of Zeus, I am not going to ask him how he came across this.
08-07-2014 12:14 AM
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Ziltoid Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
What the hell is the possible use of a GPS device that tracks the route you run on? You somehow can't keep track of time and distance on your own?
Suppose it should come at no surprise that cardio people (SWPL) are easily bamboozled into buying gadgets.
08-07-2014 01:37 AM
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weambulance Offline
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
^

It's a free app for smartphones. I have three different GPS mapping apps on my phone, for running, hiking/walking, and hunting.

And no, it's not that easy to keep track of distance and pace without something like this. It's guesswork with a very high margin of error, and that's not too useful for performance training. I was a competitive runner before the days of commonly available cell phones, let alone smartphones, and I know all about it. Even when running on a track, which is so fucking boring it defies description, it's still an irritating pain in the ass trying to keep training logs with paper and pen.

Besides that basic use, the app I use for running lets me compare my time for specific trail sections to the times of other local runners, and find interesting places to run that I might not find otherwise. Pretty good value for a free app, if you ask me.

---

I think this story is amusing, and yes her coarse manner is unappealing, but I'm not going to hate on her for it. If she was a WB, she would become WNB by acting that way, but that's it.
08-07-2014 01:57 AM
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Post: #21
RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
Let's take a break from always looking for a negative side to everything every single woman does.

True, she does it for attention, but I really wish I'd thought of this idea first so that I could have gotten that attention myself.

I think it's funny and might enjoy meeting her. Some girls actually have fun personalities.

At least she doesn't take herself too seriously.

But, based on the photo above, WNB.

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08-07-2014 02:52 AM
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Dr. Howard Away
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
(08-06-2014 11:01 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  RVF is slipping by now someone usually looks for a pic of the chick to see if she is bangable.

From her Instagram.
[Image: cw_1.jpg?noCache=1407383946]

Looks like this chick.

[Image: Claire_Wyckoff.jpg&width=800&height=800]

WNB.

Those hands and age spots tell a tale of the sags and wrinkles that lurk underneath.

looking for a new signature.
08-07-2014 09:09 AM
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ddjembe mutombo Offline
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
(08-06-2014 07:16 PM)AntiTrace Wrote:  This is awesome. I dont know why some guys are hating, a girl that has a sense of humor enough to do this gets a bonus +.5 from me. Combine that with an interest in fitness and she gets a bonus +1.

A girl that runs 5-6 miles regularly gets quite a bit of bonus from me. People that balls deep into endurance running just don't stop exercising.

However, girls who "love to exercise" and " run about a couple miles" get negative points. No need to exaggerate, darling. I can tell if you actually exercise by looking at your ass.
08-07-2014 09:21 AM
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DJ-Matt Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
Here are some more:

[Image: ClaireOopsSmall.jpg]

[Image: ClaireSimpleSmall.jpg]

Found her facebook!

Quote:Married to David Satterfield

Ouch.

Is it just me or can you tell someone is a beta chode by their photos?

And now, ta-da! Full body shots of these two:
[Image: 482360_10152618548430012_541275009_n.jpg]

On the road and moving away from shitty Kansas
(This post was last modified: 08-07-2014 09:48 AM by DJ-Matt.)
08-07-2014 09:42 AM
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bojangles Offline
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RE: Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero
Running is disgusting for chicks, it transforms their body into something that is not feminine. Just take a look at all kinds of runners pictures then compare with dancers.

Women should dance, then they can lose weight whilst actually gaining a body that looks feminine.

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08-07-2014 11:02 AM
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