Post: #1

I've been on a few dates with a great gal. Smart, educated, nice, pays for things, not flaky, we click on a bunch of things. There's only one problem.

My dick doesn't like her.

It's not that she's unattractive. She's a ~6, I've been with girls like her before. She just doesn't get my jones up to bang her. I'm talking total body-agenda mismatch.

I've had this happen before. It's an interesting reminder of what life must be like for girls - they know there are tons of guys around who would go to brunch with them and watch chick flicks with them and all the rest of it. What's apparently lacking is a lot of guys who really rev their engines AND provide some semblance of the boyfriend traits. It must suck to have repeated episodes of "he's nice on paper but he just doesn't do it for me."

Then again, they can get a good roll in the hay from a sexy guy in their phone just about any night of the week...so my sympathies are limited.

Post: #2

I've had this before. I've realized that a man needs that innate feeling that he's "conquering" a girl when he has sex with her. This generally comes from the girl exuding youth & femininity, through both her both her physical appearance and overall attitude.

Post: #3

Sounds like you've added a new friend to your social circle, instead of a plate. Use her to pivot on to her friends. Sucks that she doesn't do it for you, but the boner test is the end-all-be-all test of attraction. It happens.

Post: #4

(09-06-2014 09:22 PM)youngblazer Wrote:  I've had this before. I've realized that a man needs that innate feeling that he's "conquering" a girl when he has sex with her. This generally comes from the girl exuding youth & femininity, through both her both her physical appearance and overall attitude.

Yes, she is exuding freedom. Her feminine energies are spilling out all over the world like her long free-flowing hair, available for anyone to conquer.

A much different image than the married amish woman toiling away in the kitchen.

Post: #5

Flip side of the coin is that you're developing a male case of "the lack of gina tingles".

Girl goes out with a guy, everything is cool, they have nothing but glowing remarks about him, yet she doesn't want to see him again.

I'm going to reserve judgment on what that actually means, at the end of the day, the meaning for you is the only one that matters.

Post: #6

(09-06-2014 10:55 PM)ryanf Wrote:  Sounds like you've added a new friend to your social circle, instead of a plate. Use her to pivot on to her friends. Sucks that she doesn't do it for you, but the boner test is the end-all-be-all test of attraction. It happens.

I'm struggling with how to break this to her while keeping that pivot opportunity. I don't think going through with sex, having it be shitty and then having a pretext for the discussion is the move.

Post: #7

(09-06-2014 11:11 PM)BadgerHut Wrote:  

(09-06-2014 10:55 PM)ryanf Wrote:  Sounds like you've added a new friend to your social circle, instead of a plate. Use her to pivot on to her friends. Sucks that she doesn't do it for you, but the boner test is the end-all-be-all test of attraction. It happens.

I'm struggling with how to break this to her while keeping that pivot opportunity. I don't think going through with sex, having it be shitty and then having a pretext for the discussion is the move.

No, that likely won't work. Get her out in public around her friends, flirt with her, flirt with them, get a little jealousy going, and then collect numbers. She might feel the competition and it stings, but she might stick around for a little while to see if she can complete. It's not a good long term strategy, but maybe someone else here knows how to make it work long term. I'm sure you could try just telling her you aren't feeling it, but hamsters don't really like honesty.

Post: #8

I think a bad personality is a bigger boner killer to me than looks. I admit I won't gf up a girl that's not at least a 7. That's just my ego talking though.

I just see too many guys my way dating down. The guys are easy 7's but openly dating 4's and 5's. The market is completely skewed.

Post: #9

I think there needs to be a discussion about sex as it pertains to the attractiveness of the woman.

How fine the girl typically does not correlate to how good the sex is going to be.

I think chicks who are less attractive understand they have to do more work in the bedroom to keep a guy around.

Post: #10

The difference is that in the West, an unattractive girl is often as unpleasant as a hot one.

Post: #11

You never know, she might suck dick better than any girl you've had.

Post: #12

(09-06-2014 11:16 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  I think a bad personality is a bigger boner killer to me than looks. I admit I won't gf up a girl that's not at least a 7. That's just my ego talking though.

I just see too many guys my way dating down. The guys are easy 7's but openly dating 4's and 5's. The market is completely skewed.

I've also noticed this. A guy I know is a semi-pro body builder but got married to this bigger girl, she's a sweetheart but....it doesn't make sense. (I think her family might be loaded).

I don't understand why they date down, perhaps lack of inner-game or self esteem

Post: #13

(09-08-2014 01:29 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(09-06-2014 11:16 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  I think a bad personality is a bigger boner killer to me than looks. I admit I won't gf up a girl that's not at least a 7. That's just my ego talking though.

I just see too many guys my way dating down. The guys are easy 7's but openly dating 4's and 5's. The market is completely skewed.

I've also noticed this. A guy I know is a semi-pro body builder but got married to this bigger girl, she's a sweetheart but....it doesn't make sense. (I think her family might be loaded).

I don't understand why they date down, perhaps lack of inner-game or self esteem

Maybe that is a tradeoff he thinks is worth it, if she's a bit below him in looks but he thinks she's in for the long haul with the kind of loyalty a man can't buy from a woman. (I'd have to see the photos I guess.)

What I really don't get is guys married to super fatties/landwhale types, who also treat them like shit. It's like having a big mouth goes in both directions with these gals. I do think there's a vicious-cycle element in there where the woman judges the man harshly for being with her. A woman who's with a man who decides to go way down in his SMV probably loses respect for him, and thus feels subconsciously justified in being irascible and bratty, and if he doesn't correct that she loses more respect for him and so feels more justified in being fat and angry...and the cycle continues.

In fact I think a lot of bad female behavior is a manifestation of a secret anxiety of low value, the feeling they don't deserve it so they try to sabotage what's around them. If you get into the Secret World girls will tell you this, although all you have to do is read HuffPo or any women's magazine to learn that American women have extensive (and marketable-to) anxiety about their looks and lifestyle.