Post: #1

Hello,

I'm glad to be here and seems that forum is amazing. I read lots of posts and see guys evolve over time and I hope you can help me. I know it's a long post, but somebody may read it and give some help.

My background/look
- I'm 24, from Eastern Europe, 5'9(175cm) height, 150lbs, skinny but with belly and some fat. Not in shape at all, I don't lift.
- I had only 3 notches before my last LTR

The issues/Confidence killers
I "studied" game 4 years ago after seeing Mystery's PUA show. I read the game and lots of materials about it. I got extremely confident thinking that will solve all my girls problems and everything is psychology and looks don't matter at all. For about 2 years I was happy knowing that if I learn more game I will bang lots of hotties.

However, after the first year, after pure luck, on a party I hooked up with a solid 8 who just get out of a relationship with a guy who cheated on her. She had self-esteem issues after that and because of a mutual(girl) friend we got together in a LTR. He put me wait 1.5 months for sex, but being so hot I though the wait is worth. I had ED issues for about a year...she was crazy horny and I couldn't get it up, everything was mental because I didn't have sexual experience and she was very hot and experienced. Anyway, after a year things got much better, even now I have some issues in some positions. This killed my confidence but I get passed that.

The main problem now is my self image.

Issue 1: Height
My gf is 5'3 and she told me numerous times how much she likes tall guys. I found her gazing at taller guys in clubs or smiling...she fucking gets wet when a tall guy hits on her. At that time, I didn't pay attention because I thought she just has some strange fetish, but I asked some female friends and their answer hit me. They all rant about how attracted are by tall guys(over 180-185), how hot they are, etc. I got online and researched the subject and what I found hit me even harder. Than I went out with a taller friend(6'2) and I hit first on 10 girls with same opener than he hits on them with same opener(nothing special, something very usual) just after me. Fuck, I got blown 10 times in 3 minutes, he got 2 numbers and 1 lay from the same girls. I looked how girls eyes light up when they saw my friend and I was devastated.

Girls DO PUT A LOT weight ON HEIGHT... A LOT, like 40% in cold approach especially.

For the last 1.5 years I get obsessed by height, I read online everything I can about it and looking for short skinny guys with success in girls...but I couldn't found any. Game seems to not help this.

I don't know what to do. I already wear 2 inch lifts but that's all I can do. My gf is still very hot, but everytime I go in a club and a taller guy hits on her I become very nervous and anxious. I love clubs but now, when I'm with my gf, I'm fucking scared...I feel like shit...like I can't be a man to protect her, especially when I know she likes tall guys.

Issue 2: Slim built
I'm an ectomorph. I got to a gym a few times but no gains. The main problem is I have a very small frame. Narrow shoulders, small hands and so on. And also being on the short side....kills me. How much can I gain in shoulders with in 1 year of gym?

Issue 3: Balding
Like is not enough, I'm starting to go bald and shaved head looks horrible on me.




Now, I don't know how much of you read all, but my confidence is 0 right now. The irony is, I still have that hot GF from 3 years ago which makes me feel even worse since I know I can't get a girl hot as her in a short time or even ever. And as you expect, I'm also jealous and insecure in relationship.

What the heck do I need to do to turn my life over? Anyone in my situation?
I'm also introvert and logical, maybe that's why I researched/analyzed so much about height. It was so good when I thought looks don't matter and game was everything. Game seems that won't help you too much if your look is shit. I know that a lot of stuff is mental, but I don't know how to get pass that.

Post: #2

You are 175cm and you are worried about height? While height is an attractive trait, you aren't even short!

You have listed 3 issues but I only see two. Confidence and Motivation which you lack both.

Everything else physically you should accept that hey, you really aren't that bad. We all have these moments of self-doubt and maybe some insecurities, but you realise there are people out there starving, dieing in wars, disfigured etc.

If you want some advice on material for motivation and confidence pm me.

And the reason why you (like you said) will never get a hot girlfriend again like the one you have has nothing to do with your looks but your attitude. Stop being negative, reframe your mind into positive thoughts and starting kicking ass at life.

Post: #3

(01-14-2015 04:11 AM)DumbfromBirth Wrote:  You are 175cm and you are worried about height? While height is an attractive trait, you aren't even short!

You have listed 3 issues but I only see two. Confidence and Motivation which you lack both.

Everything else physically you should accept that hey, you really aren't that bad. We all have these moments of self-doubt and maybe some insecurities, but you realise there are people out there starving, dieing in wars, disfigured etc.

If you want some advice on material for motivation and confidence pm me.

And the reason why you (like you said) will never get a hot girlfriend again like the one you have has nothing to do with your looks but your attitude. Stop being negative, reframe your mind into positive thoughts and starting kicking ass at life.

Thanks for your reply. I definetely lack on both, but mainly because of those issues I have in my head. Knowing that how much I work, I will still be limited by things I can't controls fucks me over. I need to work 10x more than a 6'2 guy to get laid maybe...and with not the same quality.

Seems that the best slayers on the forum are the tall guys. There is still kaotic and el mechanico(which I don't know his lay count but he is in mexio) which are the same heigh....the others below 5'8 i don't see any proof they are getting laid. Kaotic is buff, wide shoulders...to make an idea, I will look like a kid near him with my built.

Post: #4

I had a mate growing up he was 5'7 and always outpulled me. He was naturally incredibly social and find it quite easy to get laid at a young age. Now hes married. Im 182cm and yet he was always was the center of attention because of CONFIDENCE. I had little confidence and had to fake it to begin with.

You need to stop comparing yourself to others because that is part of the problem. Realise that it is literally all in your head.

Yes looks matter but I have heard of guys with model looks who cant get laid! I remember one guy 29yr old virgin who was a model and couldnt get laid and was posting on forums for help.

Your next negative thought try reframing it into a positive one and see how you feel afterwards

Post: #5

You put too much weight on online research and almost none on your own experience. It takes time to evolve and it takes approaches. Instead of spending 1+ years worrying, you should have spent it taking action.

Your best bet is to start an approach thread and start posting details there. Then we can help you. We can't help someone that thinks too much and doesn't try at the same time.

Post: #6

^second that

Post: #7

You are spending your time obsessing over the things that cannot be changed (height) and not obsessing over the things that can be changed.

5'9" is just bang average height wise and there are millions of women out there much shorter than you.

Just imagine where you would be now if you had spent the last 1.5 years working on things that you can change...

Post: #8

(01-14-2015 06:25 AM)DumbfromBirth Wrote:  I had a mate growing up he was 5'7 and always outpulled me. He was naturally incredibly social and find it quite easy to get laid at a young age. Now hes married. Im 182cm and yet he was always was the center of attention because of CONFIDENCE. I had little confidence and had to fake it to begin with.

You need to stop comparing yourself to others because that is part of the problem. Realise that it is literally all in your head.

Yes looks matter but I have heard of guys with model looks who cant get laid! I remember one guy 29yr old virgin who was a model and couldnt get laid and was posting on forums for help.

Your next negative thought try reframing it into a positive one and see how you feel afterwards

Exactly. I know several tall guys over 6'0" who have troubles getting laid (one guy I know who is 6'2" went over three years without being laid and another one who is the same height just reached 30 years of age a virgin, although he has been in a sexless LTR for two years). I'm 5'9" and have pulled more tail than the both of them combined.

Being 5'9" is average for a male, most women you will meet are under this height (unless you live in Sweden probably).

Post: #9

Thanks guys. I know I'm in a very bad place(mentally) right now. I even go to FB and look for hot gfs than look to see how tall their BFs are. I'm just sick of thinking that I need to work 2 years on game to get to a point where I can even up a 6'0 guy with wide shoulders and no game.

How can I say I'm the best in a venue and have killer confidence when knowing that the girls are more attracted to the taller, thicker guys and not me, even I spit game like mad???

Game won't bypass look as I initially thought. I wish I was delusional as few years ago when I thought looks don't matter, thinking that my mate with no game, but at 6'2, got lucky so many times and I blamed my vibe and body language(which was far more better than him anyway). Even RSD don't say anymore that looks is nothing.

I know there are still guys(maybe even here) that in a place full of good looking, powerful guys)and rich), they still think they are the shit. How the fuck to get that delusional and irrational confidence? I'm a logical and analytical guy, I wish there was a way to think like that. Even if I try to think like that, I got slapped by reality in no time. Thinking that I can't be the best because of some limitations I can't change is fucked up.

You guys, with genetical limitations(like height, body), how do you get the confidence? How do you make to feel entitled of fucking hot girls over 8 when you clearly see that they always hang out/fuck/relationship with guys better looking/talller/thicker than you? When you don't have that proof from reality, how the fuck you can be confident and approach them?

Post: #10

(01-14-2015 03:50 AM)bewater Wrote:  Hello,

I'm glad to be here and seems that forum is amazing. I read lots of posts and see guys evolve over time and I hope you can help me. I know it's a long post, but somebody may read it and give some help.

My background/look
- I'm 24, from Eastern Europe, 5'9(175cm) height, 150lbs, skinny but with belly and some fat. Not in shape at all, I don't lift.
- I had only 3 notches before my last LTR

The issues/Confidence killers
I "studied" game 4 years ago after seeing Mystery's PUA show. I read the game and lots of materials about it. I got extremely confident thinking that will solve all my girls problems and everything is psychology and looks don't matter at all. For about 2 years I was happy knowing that if I learn more game I will bang lots of hotties.

However, after the first year, after pure luck, on a party I hooked up with a solid 8 who just get out of a relationship with a guy who cheated on her. She had self-esteem issues after that and because of a mutual(girl) friend we got together in a LTR. He put me wait 1.5 months for sex, but being so hot I though the wait is worth. I had ED issues for about a year...she was crazy horny and I couldn't get it up, everything was mental because I didn't have sexual experience and she was very hot and experienced. Anyway, after a year things got much better, even now I have some issues in some positions. This killed my confidence but I get passed that.

The main problem now is my self image.

Issue 1: Height
My gf is 5'3 and she told me numerous times how much she likes tall guys. I found her gazing at taller guys in clubs or smiling...she fucking gets wet when a tall guy hits on her. At that time, I didn't pay attention because I thought she just has some strange fetish, but I asked some female friends and their answer hit me. They all rant about how attracted are by tall guys(over 180-185), how hot they are, etc. I got online and researched the subject and what I found hit me even harder. Than I went out with a taller friend(6'2) and I hit first on 10 girls with same opener than he hits on them with same opener(nothing special, something very usual) just after me. Fuck, I got blown 10 times in 3 minutes, he got 2 numbers and 1 lay from the same girls. I looked how girls eyes light up when they saw my friend and I was devastated.

Girls DO PUT A LOT weight ON HEIGHT... A LOT, like 40% in cold approach especially.

For the last 1.5 years I get obsessed by height, I read online everything I can about it and looking for short skinny guys with success in girls...but I couldn't found any. Game seems to not help this.

I don't know what to do. I already wear 2 inch lifts but that's all I can do. My gf is still very hot, but everytime I go in a club and a taller guy hits on her I become very nervous and anxious. I love clubs but now, when I'm with my gf, I'm fucking scared...I feel like shit...like I can't be a man to protect her, especially when I know she likes tall guys.

Issue 2: Slim built
I'm an ectomorph. I got to a gym a few times but no gains. The main problem is I have a very small frame. Narrow shoulders, small hands and so on. And also being on the short side....kills me. How much can I gain in shoulders with in 1 year of gym?

Issue 3: Balding
Like is not enough, I'm starting to go bald and shaved head looks horrible on me.




Now, I don't know how much of you read all, but my confidence is 0 right now. The irony is, I still have that hot GF from 3 years ago which makes me feel even worse since I know I can't get a girl hot as her in a short time or even ever. And as you expect, I'm also jealous and insecure in relationship.

What the heck do I need to do to turn my life over? Anyone in my situation?
I'm also introvert and logical, maybe that's why I researched/analyzed so much about height. It was so good when I thought looks don't matter and game was everything. Game seems that won't help you too much if your look is shit. I know that a lot of stuff is mental, but I don't know how to get pass that.

I'm not going to lie...being tall helps some. But only some. I'm 6'2 and it's helped but back when I was beta and had no game...shorter friends did better.

Here's what to do about your physicality:

Start : Deadlifting/ Squatting/ Benching and pulldowns ( or pullups ) which will help widen your lats.

Just focus on these four with PROPER FORM...so you don't injure yourself. Deadlifts and squats will do wonders for your confidence, testosterone and size. Eat plenty of protein. Probably only need to do these 3 X a week if you're lifting heavy enough.

Maybe shave your head and grow a 10 day stubble beard.

Get some style: Buy fitted shirts/blazers/ pants/ jeans/ kick ass shoes, etc. Check out Yoox.com you can get great deals there. Go to a tailor to get the clothes fitted.

Obviously, continue to study game and approach.

I think focusing on lifting and bettering your style will help your Napoleon Complex ( btw....you're WAY taller than Napoleon was )

Post: #11

Fix your diet and hit the gym 6x a week.

Post: #12

agree about eating better and working out more effectively.

just as important is to be more dominant sexually with the women you are dating. Forget about 'fake it til you make it', try to fake it until you become it.

Post: #13

Putin is 170 cm or 5ft 7in. I doubt he's a virgin.

Post: #14

robreke said it all. Go to the gym, lift, and eat at least 2 grams of protein per kg of body weight, every day, no exceptions. I am an ectomorph too and thought I will never make any progress after I had been going to the gym regularly for 2 years... and had not been eating enough. Go to the gym like it's your job and eat like it's your job. Only this will help an ectomorph grow And it will take at least a month before you will feel/see any results. Keep on going.

Post: #15

If you're bald guys say shave your head right away. That is bad advice depending on the shape of your skull and your skin tone. Black guys look great with a head shaved. Pale guys usually not nearly as much.

Most guys like better with a 2 or 3mm fade, add a stubble beard as suggested and really really start to love hats. Baseball hats and any other kind that isn't douchey. This look can be pulled off by anybody.

Post: #16

I fucking laugh out loud at the OP being "short". What's with guys these days? Next week we're gonna see an 6"4" IRT who says he can't pull because girls just like white guys?

I'm 5"4' and Asian, and I outpull some taller white guys.

His issues is not height. It's confidence and oneitis. His girlfriend is the only solid pussy he's got as he is just getting into the game, so now he clings onto it like a hungry leech and he buys whatever spitting out of her hamster-driven mouth. OP I'm pretty sure if your girl didn't tell you all the stuff about how she like tall guys you wouldn't be worrying your ass off. Your confidence is already low and now you are just trying to justify it.

Go to the gym and lift, that's a no brainer.

Also, FYI, being in a LTR with a low-self esteem girl who also makes you worry about all your imperfection seem pretty shitty to me. Downgrade that bitch to FWB status and go have yourself some cute 5"2 girls. Plenty of those in EE. If you catch yourself saying "but she's so hot, I won't be able to find one like her" all the more reason to GTFO.

You are white, 5"9 and in EE. Fix your confidence issues and you would be swarming in pussies. Do it before RVF members initiate a mass exodus over there and steal all your women.

Post: #17

^^^

If his girlfriend is hot I don't see any reason to dump or downgrade her. Having a mentality that 'it doesn't really matter should he lose her' because he should be able to get a new one wouldn't hurt I would say.

Post: #18

There might be a point in treating her 'liking tall guys' as shit tests. Tell her to break up if she is so intrigued by tall guys or just shut up about it.

Post: #19

First of all, you aren't short. The fact that you think you were suggests to me that you work heavily on your "Inner Game".
Research Limiting Beliefs b/c a lot of this stuff is going to start with you. It will take commitment and effort to reverse this.

Also, woman don't know what the f' they want. Ok, some women are size queens (for cock) and others are height queens. But guess what, most others (regardless of what they say they want in a survey) will respond positively to you if you hit on them with with confidence and style.
I knew a guy in college who was around 5'2". He was dating a super hot 5' Filipina. The guy carried himself like a bad ass.

As far as your girlfriend, maybe get rid of her, or meanwhile start telling her how much you like chicks with giant tits, or having anal sex.

Post: #20

Thanks guys, I appreciate a lot. Since the problem is the internal competition with taller dudesI, I was thinking what would make me feel I'm better than others overall:
1.money...working on it
2.a higher notch count
3.having supply of girls better than he has

Currently, if I know this I won't give a fuck even if he steals one of my girls because I know I'm better even I have more disadvantages. Maybe this list will change in the future, who knows.
For example, if I have 50 notches under my belt, not 4, than I've proven I can get girls and only a few can hit this number even if they are good looking.

I will go to the gym religiously, but I'm afraid I'll give up if no gains like I did so many times.

Post: #21

Issue #1: Height is no problem. I've seen short players in the Army, and the best "pickup artist" I've ever seen was a short fat Irishman....and I on multiple occassions saw him break into a group with taller guys and walk away with the girls. Swag will more than compensate for height.

Issue #2: Had the same problem with a slim built myself. It can be done, it just takes longer. For me it took about a year of active heavy lifting before I started to develop a large chest(using only creatine and zinc).

Issue #3: Again it's in your head. According to businessweek men with shaved heads are viewed as having more leadership ability than men with either balding or full heads of hair. Mine is starting to go at Age 29 and I'm compensating for it by getting the Vladimir Putin haircut and allowing some well groomed facial hair to set in.


For EVERYONE here, It also helps to learn how to look for female selection. What that means is you focus your efforts on girls that either maintain eye contact with you, have friendly body language, or that your buddies catch checking you out. Once you have enough experience you can kind of "feel" which girls vibe with you in the room and you can hunt that way but it takes most people years to get there.

Post: #22

(01-14-2015 11:38 PM)bewater Wrote:  For example, if I have 50 notches under my belt, not 4, than I've proven I can get girls and only a few can hit this number even if they are good looking.

And no, it will do jack shit in and of itself. The ROOT of the problem is that you're focusing on what you don't have rather than what you do have. More lays may help you do that but don't assume it will. I found my answer by changing my friends (I now have fewer, but supportive and positive friends), changing career tracks to something I enjoy(which resulted in a strong drive and a work ethic so I can now feel proud instead of shame about that part of my life), and facing my insecurities of communication head on by joining a public speaking club.

Post: #23

This is a rhetorical question, but why are you taking your girlfriend to nightclubs?

Nightclubs are where some men go to meet women. This begs the question, why would you take YOUR woman to a place where men go specifically to meet women?

Just saying.

If you have a hot girlfriend, and she's easygoing and such, you're doing just fine, man.

Congratulations, some guys on the forum would count themselves blessed to be in your shoes.

Now, about the height, you're 5'9", and with 2" boots, you're 5'11", and that's already what could be considered tall. So, really, to everyone looking at you, you're not short, you're tall, at least in that scenario.

Also, what girls say and what they actually do are not always the same. For example, your girl may say she likes tall guys, but then, she's with you, so, there you go. You've got all the proof you need that being "short" isn't as big an issue as you make it out to be lying right next to you on your bed.

Perhaps instead of taking her to a place where your supposed "shortcomings" are exacerbated, such as nightclubs, which are extremely superficial places, take her out to places where your inner strengths come out, whatever they may be (say, dance skills, musical instrument skills, rock climbing skills, even gamer skills, whatever you are good at).

I understand where you're coming from, but you're being a bit harsh on yourself, man.

Post: #24

As someone that is 6'3 and didn't get laid consistently at all until very recently in my life, I'll let you in on a few secrets about being a tall guy.

You don't just walk around the bar and instantly have girls on your dick. The tall guys whom you know that are killing it are killing it because they have game or some levels of confidence that you clearly are lacking. Simply put, the short guy with confidence and game will get the girl over the tall awkward guy with no social skills the majority of the time. Trust me, "tall awkward guy" used to be a very accurate description of me every time I was in social situations.

You make all these excuses why you can't get girls. But you even admitted yourself that you had a hot girlfriend in the past! You didn't just hit the lottery that one time. Well maybe you did if you had this little confidence your entire life, but that's besides the point. Being short/ugly/bald as a guy is just a small part of the story. I'm not going to bull shit you and pretend like a taller version of yourself wouldn't have a little more luck. But that's life, and if you just stop focusing on other people's results and your own shortcomings, you'll realize that inner game is your missing ingredient here to more success.

Post: #25

My girlfriend is taller than you... And sadly near the same weight

I will say for the guys saying height doesn't matter, Ive always been average looking but I've noticed now how much I can leverage my height and weight- so it does help a ton.

Stop going out to clubs with the gf... That's not good for her. And persistence on weights pays off, even if you don't get yoked it'll build you up mentally