Post: #1

No clue where this belongs, so I put this in the newbie forum.

Last night I was at a friends house and we were hanging out, and one of them asked what's going on with me. There were a few girls there, one of which I had a slight interest in, so I said "oh it's complicated".

Later I did tell my buddy the details, but I was also thinking that the girls who meet me would find out about my divorce sooner or later assuming they're with me longer than a few dates/bangs.

Most divorces are initiated by women, but in my case, I initiated the divorce. So I was wondering if that is the key to DHV when I need to.

For example, I could frame it as "she was not faithful and honest with me, so I divorced her and never looked back." (Of course, if a guy says that his wife divorced HIM, that would be torpedoing his own value, but that's not the case here).

I expect most women will give me a standard blue pill reply: "Oh I'm sorry, but yeah you deserve better than that, you'll find someone better!"

But my question is, what covert message would I send by saying that she cheated on me and I cut her out of my life? I can think of two possibilities (at least subconsciously):

A) "Hmm, if a girl cheated on him, then he must be doing something wrong, or something is wrong with him... smells like a red flag"

B) "Wow, now here's someone who doesn't take any shit from anyone! Here's an alpha, I ought to take a closer look at this guy..."

Which is more likely for women to think, at least on a subconscious level - A or B? Or maybe something else entirely?

Post: #2

A. They will, like most women, subconsciously absolve your ex of responsibility and wonder what it was that "you did" that "drove her to cheat."

Don't bring it up. Or if you do, half-jokingly say that you divorced her since she gained too much weight and didn't want to lose it for you. There's a take-shit-from-no-one response.

HSLD

Post: #3

I haven't always been a good boy.
Maybe that's why I attract bad girls.

WIA

Post: #4

(02-01-2015 05:48 PM)HighSpeed_LowDrag Wrote:  A. They will, like most women, subconsciously absolve your ex of responsibility and wonder what it was that "you did" that "drove her to cheat."

Figures. The more I learn how screwed up the whole system is, and how it is self-perpetuating in order to pander to female hypergamy, the less guilt or remorse I have for holding my cards closer to my chest and even using a little deception to get what I want. Sad, but it is what it is.

Thanks WIA and HSLD for the suggestions for responses if asked (I don't plan to bring it up anymore).

Post: #5

Welcome back. You never want to tell a woman you're trying to sleep with that any woman ever has cheated on you, this is the opposite of "preselection", a great tool when used correctly but terrible when not. Talking about being cheated on is one of the biggest demonstrations of lower value you can give a woman, second only to following up with, "She said she was sick of waiting for me to quit D&D, move out of my parents and get a job so she left me for the pool boy".

My last ended because I cheated. When it's come up I've used several responses. Depending on the vibe my first was usually a coy "I guess we just grew apart as people" (Credit:"A Life Less Ordinary"), and a smirk. If they pressed it was "It's tough maintaining a relationship when you're working on the road all the time." Maybe embellish "It was a really busy year and I thought I was doing the best for our future but the time apart got to be more than either of us could deal with".

If you don't work on the road just make some shit up "Ever since (the kid/she lost her job/the last couple years) she was having depression issues and was pretty bitter. She tried therapy and medications but it didn't help. I stuck it out as long as I could but just had to get out of that situation".