Post: #1

Growing up I was a shy/awkward kid. I would later find out that it was due to having social anxiety but as a result, I wasn't able to develop my social skills which lead me to struggling with attracting women. Some of the things that I struggle with include holding a conversation, starting a conversation, being jittery, monotone, and awkward. I've put a break on studying game material for now because I realize that you need to have a decent level of social skills before you can have success gaming. What do you guys recommend I do in order to improve my social skills?

Post: #2

I have the same struggles as you do. One thing I am working on right now is improving my real-time observational skills so you could talk about things around you - there's a whole world out there and so many things to talk about. I'm working on getting out of my head and observe things around me, in the moment, in the now, not think about the past, and not think about tomorrow. My $0.02.

Post: #3

I am quite socially perceptive but because of anxieties I have a history of second guessing myself. Nothing worse than being your own worst enemy! Sheer determination is your friend here.

Post: #4

(02-10-2015 12:28 PM)UroboricForms Wrote:  I am quite socially perceptive but because of anxieties I have a history of second guessing myself. Nothing worse than being your own worst enemy! Sheer determination is your friend here.

I agree. Nothing got me going to get over my social anxiety more than wanting to get my dick wet.

Plus it helps to join social groups and activities that you like doing, whether its sports leagues, Young Republicans/Democrats, martial arts, or a fraternity. Anywhere where you can meet people and have something in common with them to talk about.

Post: #5

I believe bioenergetic exercises could help with your anxiety and getting more comfortable in your own skin, check out elliott hulse videos like "breathing deep into your balls" or read books about it by lowen

Post: #6

One of the best ways to learn how to talk with people is by using Roosh's elderly conversation templates from his book Day Bang. It also is good to practice on all kinds of people, not just women.

Second try to organize your socializing around activities that you enjoy. If you are into photography for example join a photography group or if you like to play sports join a group that revolves around your sport. This way you socialize around what you like to do. This will help to decrease your social anxiety. And video games don't count. Don't just hang around a group of other gamers.

Also find some hobbies, not video games, that you really enjoy and feel passionate about. You will find that you have a much easier time discussing things that you feel excited about. Do these things and you should start to improve your social skills.

Post: #7

It is an exercise in pushing through your discomfort with socializing, only. You need to put in your hours deliberately being sociable. Social anxiety comes from the same source of every other anxiety - uncertainty in outcome. And uncertainty in outcome comes primarily from lack of experience. Get experience and then it fades.

I remember meeting a guy in a bar once who had severe approach anxiety problems. So I basically dragged him with me into a group of women, to force him to sink or swim. He swam OK. He even said afterwards 'yeah that wasn't too bad'. I bumped into him again in the same bar, like 9 months later. I asked what he'd been up to, how many more times he had gone out and approached women. He said:

Quote:Nah I haven't since last time we met

Mind-blowing. Some people are their own worst enemy.

Suggestions:
Level 1 Easy: Incidental socialization, where going alone is normal, and being social is secondary to the primary activity.
- Dancing classes
- Language classes
- Basically any kind of class
- Getting a job where interpersonal interaction with customers is required

One thing to note here is that with a class, the new social group is 'fresh' each time. If you fuck up, you simply reflect on your lessons learned, and repeat the process again at a new place. You don't have to worry about reputation like in a fixed, long-term community like a school year-level.

Level 2 Medium: More of an active role in being social.
- Interest-groups/communities (hobbies, politics etc)
- Travel, and staying in dorms etc. Here many people are both alone and outgoing, so it's very easy to make temporary new friends. You're not compelled to be sociable (you could just sight-see), but you'll find it relatively easy to do so.
- Get-togethers you are invited to by friends. Here you can talk to people you don't know, but who know your mutual friends, and are hence more open.
- Team sports, such as the ever-popular touch football. Here you are ostensibly there to play a game, but it's very social.
- Inviting people you've met to hang out. If you meet people who like you at a class etc, you can get their facebook details, and invite them to get a beer etc, to talk about X and Y etc. Again, if someone decides they don't want to hang out, you've still learned lessons, and you can repeat with a 'fresh' person.

Level 3 Fluency: Becoming completely comfortable sociably and taking initiative.
- Going alone to bars and meeting new people ("hey where you from/what do you do here?").
--You can start this by just going into a bar, buying a drink at the bar, and standing/sitting at that bar. You don't even have to talk to anyone. Just stay put and bathe in the social anxiety of being alone in a busy place. After you've done this for an hour, leave. Then do it again. It really develops your initial sense of social freedom and not fretting over what other people think of you.
- Cold approaching women (the highest level being during the day)
- Inviting and going on dates. In the beginning, never treat a date as an 'event'. Treat it as one link in a long chain of dates to come, as 'training' first and foremost.

You have a responsibility to yourself to rack up hours. If necessary, have a quota of hours that you need to meet every week.

Post: #8

I recommend not reading or watching game shit. You will just overthink everything and be even weirder than before

This will put you in the top 10% for social skills:

• Confidence - no Approach Anxiety, can hold a conversation
• Ability to "Be Yourself"
• Being Socially Aware (vs. Socially Retarded)
  

If you want to know how to "be yourself" and develop social awareness in a natural (non-creepy PUA) way, check out this post:

https://whiteknightrises.com/how-to-talk...ls-part-1/

Post: #9

Take am improv comedy class.

Post: #10

Something that I use to improve skills that has quickly and dramatically improved everything has been just to record myself with my phone. Originally I used it to improve my dance skills at dance class but I have started to use it in other parts of my life. Just record your conversations if you cant use video. Watching your self from an external point of reference affects you on so many levels. Try it out. You have absolutely nothing to lose.