Post: #1

I am currently in the early stages with 3 women. They each see me once or twice a week and we make contact every couple of days. I would like to keep them all in the mix but my Spanish girlfriend is coming for 2 weeks. How should I handle the local women?

Spanish girl and I are going to San Francisco the first week so that part is easy, I just say "I'm going to San Francisco to see my sister". For the second week should I just not make contact? Or should I say my buddy is visiting from Spain? It's important to me to not lie to women who I view as LTR candidates and every woman in my mix is a LTR candidate.

Post: #2

Just say you're busy for that week and make definitive plans for the week after.

"Hey XXX, this week is brutal. But there is this wine tasting event on April 8. Let's go to that."

Post: #3

Had this happen recently, I just go with the "my friend is going through something so i'm going to spend the weekend with him." Send a few check in text, but usually gets me the space i need.

-CD

Post: #4

(03-22-2015 01:48 PM)Kissinger2014 Wrote:  Just say you're busy for that week and make definitive plans for the week after.

"Hey XXX, this week is brutal. But there is this wine tasting event on April 8. Let's go to that."

Something like this.

(03-23-2015 12:00 AM)coverdoc Wrote:  Had this happen recently, I just go with the "my friend is going through something so i'm going to spend the weekend with him." Send a few check in text, but usually gets me the space i need.

-CD

Too long zzZZzz. She should be slightly worried due to the lack of information. Let the hamster spin. You'll be on her mind.

Post: #5

(03-22-2015 10:20 AM)Robert Plant Wrote:  It's important to me to not lie to women who I view as LTR candidates and every woman in my mix is a LTR candidate.

Lie or "be caught lying"?

Post: #6

(03-22-2015 10:20 AM)Robert Plant Wrote:  I am currently in the early stages with 3 women. They each see me once or twice a week and we make contact every couple of days. I would like to keep them all in the mix but my Spanish girlfriend is coming for 2 weeks. How should I handle the local women?

Spanish girl and I are going to San Francisco the first week so that part is easy, I just say "I'm going to San Francisco to see my sister". For the second week should I just not make contact? Or should I say my buddy is visiting from Spain? It's important to me to not lie to women who I view as LTR candidates and every woman in my mix is a LTR candidate.

If you are really concerned about lying or the impression of lying, then I can relate to that.

Usually, the better way to handle these kinds of situations is to attempt to be as non-specific as possible. Now it is more difficult to get away with non-specifics if you have been in the habit of explaining everything to the girls or if they expect some more specifics from you.

Accordingly, you need to be somewhat assertive and proactive in order to give the girls enough information that they are NOT going to probe further so in that sense, you do NOT provide too many specifics, and you merely say that you are going to be occupied for at least 2 weeks and possibly longer, which involves going to the bay area and various kinds of other projects that you have (and you can explain a little bit about some of the projects that may be true - such as catching up with some friends and/or arranging some of your life matters).

Probably you want to provide some of the specifics including that you will be spending some of the time socializing, too, but don't provide exact dates beforehand unless you absolutely feel that you have to (or maybe only while you are in some of the places or after the time had passed), and only provide enough information to cause them to rest assured that you really are busy and that you had explained sufficiently.

Also, you do NOT really want to give them the exact date that you will come available, either.. You could say that it could a week or up to three weeks and suggest then you may only tell them your availability when it gets closer to the end date (as long as everything is still going well and remaining your private affairs).

Post: #7

You are banging three chicks at once and you are worried about lying?

Post: #8

(03-22-2015 10:20 AM)Robert Plant Wrote:  It's important to me to not lie to women who I view as LTR candidates and every woman in my mix is a LTR candidate.

Yet you are fine with dating multiple girls and hiding them from each other?




This is the female equivalent of "I love him, but I still sleep with someone else"

You cant have it all mate. Either embrace the player lifestyle fully, or become a serial monogamist.

There's no way you can keep this hidden for long. The truth must out. Women sense these kinds of things, if they want to be in a LTR with you.

However if they are cool with a fuck buddy situation then all bets are off, but I dont think this applies to your case.

Post: #9

Dalaran's right, you've gotta embrace this.

It's not lying, it just that it's none of their damn business to begin with.

Spinning 3 women and bringing a spanish one temporarily on board, talk about a juggling act.

Not to mention you seem them as LTR material? Jesus christ, you might be biting off more than you can chew.

JJG is right, keep it generic and simple. Check in with them ever so often, if you need to extend your trip or make another excuse, just say work is slammed right now.


Also:

If you have no intentions of LTR'ing any of these women, then drop them. If you see them as quality women, the last thing you want to do is turn them into some jaded bitches.

Spin plates, they're more replaceable than LTR's. Otherwise you're wasting your's and their time.

Post: #10

(02-17-2016 04:00 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

(03-22-2015 10:20 AM)Robert Plant Wrote:  It's important to me to not lie to women who I view as LTR candidates and every woman in my mix is a LTR candidate.

Yet you are fine with dating multiple girls and hiding them from each other?




This is the female equivalent of "I love him, but I still sleep with someone else"

You cant have it all mate. Either embrace the player lifestyle fully, or become a serial monogamist.

There's no way you can keep this hidden for long. The truth must out. Women sense these kinds of things, if they want to be in a LTR with you.

However if they are cool with a fuck buddy situation then all bets are off, but I dont think this applies to your case.

Strongly disagree. Nothing wrong with dating multiple quality women.

"You cant have it all mate."

Sounds like he's having it all right now. Not endlessly sustainable? 99% of relationship aren't. Enjoy it while it lasts, and make it last as long as you can, and happen as often as you can.

He wants to do it without lying? Everyone man is entitled to live by his code. I enjoy the lack of stress that comes from not lying, it simplifies my life.

A lot of women just want to not have something thrown in their faces. I'm happy to give that to them. Nothing this kid is looking for is that impossible.

He can have it with varying degrees of success for many years to come, why hobble himself if he doesn't have to?

Post: #11

Quote: If you have no intentions of LTR'ing any of these women, then drop them. If you see them as quality women, the last thing you want to do is turn them into some jaded bitches.

Spin plates, they're more replaceable than LTR's. Otherwise you're wasting your's and their time.

What's up with all the White Knighting here? They're adults, they can decide for themselves who they want to fool around with. Their eyes are probably a lot more open than he realizes.

And this part doesn't even remotely make sense -

Quote:Otherwise you're wasting your's and their time.

I think you missed the part where he's railing 3 different quality girls all the time. You're calling it "time wasted" but the rest of us call it "What makes life worth living". Enjoy it while you have it.

Post: #12

(02-17-2016 06:48 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

(02-17-2016 04:00 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

(03-22-2015 10:20 AM)Robert Plant Wrote:  It's important to me to not lie to women who I view as LTR candidates and every woman in my mix is a LTR candidate.

Yet you are fine with dating multiple girls and hiding them from each other?




This is the female equivalent of "I love him, but I still sleep with someone else"

You cant have it all mate. Either embrace the player lifestyle fully, or become a serial monogamist.

There's no way you can keep this hidden for long. The truth must out. Women sense these kinds of things, if they want to be in a LTR with you.

However if they are cool with a fuck buddy situation then all bets are off, but I dont think this applies to your case.

Strongly disagree. Nothing wrong with dating multiple quality women.

"You cant have it all mate."

Sounds like he's having it all right now. Not endlessly sustainable? 99% of relationship aren't. Enjoy it while it lasts, and make it last as long as you can, and happen as often as you can.

He wants to do it without lying? Everyone man is entitled to live by his code. I enjoy the lack of stress that comes from not lying, it simplifies my life.

A lot of women just want to not have something thrown in their faces. I'm happy to give that to them. Nothing this kid is looking for is that impossible.

He can have it with varying degrees of success for many years to come, why hobble himself if he doesn't have to?

I largely agree with you DarkTriad.

Some ideas can be pie in the sky, if they are in the hypothetical, and not planned.

If a guy is willing to put a considerable amount of effort into making various safeguards, and to juggle various women, there are ways to accomplish such by keeping the women distant to some extent, and not letting them too much into details of your life.

Surely, those kinds of arms length relationship situations may turn off some women, may scare away other women, may cause some women not to want to bang, but a guy likely needs to weigh his leveraging power concerning what he has to offer various women, and that may be enough to juggle a number of them.


Personally, historically, I get a bit stressed out and tired by attempting to juggle women, but that does not mean that I would not be able to do it, if I changed my lifestyle a bit, so each guy is going to have to calculate what works for him, his priorities, and how much he is able to channel some of the activities to keep his various girls interested and willing to meet on his terms (that he may at the same time make it appear as if he is meeting on her terms or compromising in order to be able to meet up with her during periods of his availability)..

Post: #13

(02-17-2016 07:06 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

Quote: If you have no intentions of LTR'ing any of these women, then drop them. If you see them as quality women, the last thing you want to do is turn them into some jaded bitches.

Spin plates, they're more replaceable than LTR's. Otherwise you're wasting your's and their time.

What's up with all the White Knighting here? They're adults, they can decide for themselves who they want to fool around with. Their eyes are probably a lot more open than he realizes.

And this part doesn't even remotely make sense -

Quote:Otherwise you're wasting your's and their time.

I think you missed the part where he's railing 3 different quality girls all the time. You're calling it "time wasted" but the rest of us call it "What makes life worth living". Enjoy it while you have it.

The fuck? White Knighting ?

My whole summary was focused on spinning plates not attempting to maintain 3 LTR's.

Talking about the impacts of redpill/bluepill and masculinity/feminity impacts is a whole different conversation.

I digress.

To me that's burned energy, now if they were quality girls who knew what he was really about FROM THE BEGINNING and "doesn't want to lie" which he is already doing, wouldn't that be more easier than juggling ?

Plates are lot easier to maintain than LTR's is that not true ?

You invest a lot more time an energy into an LTR than you would just texting a plate to come over and fuck right ?

Yes they're adults, but "feeeeelings" will get in the way and shit might turn south real quick.

Think of it as risk aversion and time management, not white knighting man.

I had a solid LTR and had 2 mini LTR's in the middle of my main LTR relationship. I also banged multiple girls on the side. Shit takes work, and you worry about slipping up.

These are MY experiences, so obviously I'm giving my opinion on it.

OP can take what advice he wants, we come from all walks of life and bang all kinds of women.

Anytime a decent and quality girl I'm banging catches feelings, I'm nexting her, because there's always another girl, always more girls to game and bang. It saves alot of trouble, since I don't want an LTR.

Women don't make my life worth living, my life alone is worth living for myself, a women in it is just the icing on the cake. They come and they go.

Post: #14

(02-17-2016 07:29 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(02-17-2016 07:06 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

Quote: If you have no intentions of LTR'ing any of these women, then drop them. If you see them as quality women, the last thing you want to do is turn them into some jaded bitches.

Spin plates, they're more replaceable than LTR's. Otherwise you're wasting your's and their time.

What's up with all the White Knighting here? They're adults, they can decide for themselves who they want to fool around with. Their eyes are probably a lot more open than he realizes.

And this part doesn't even remotely make sense -

Quote:Otherwise you're wasting your's and their time.

I think you missed the part where he's railing 3 different quality girls all the time. You're calling it "time wasted" but the rest of us call it "What makes life worth living". Enjoy it while you have it.

The fuck? White Knighting ?

My whole summary was focused on spinning plates not attempting to maintain 3 LTR's.

Talking about the impacts of redpill/bluepill and masculinity/feminity impacts is a whole different conversation.

I digress.

To me that's burned energy, now if they were quality girls who knew what he was really about FROM THE BEGINNING and "doesn't want to lie" which he is already doing, wouldn't that be more easier than juggling ?

Plates are lot easier to maintain than LTR's is that not true ?

You invest a lot more time an energy into an LTR than you would just texting a plate to come over and fuck right ?

Yes they're adults, but "feeeeelings" will get in the way and shit might turn south real quick.

Think of it as risk aversion and time management, not white knighting man.

I had a solid LTR and had 2 mini LTR's in the middle of my main LTR relationship. I also banged multiple girls on the side. Shit takes work, and you worry about slipping up.

These are MY experiences, so obviously I'm giving my opinion on it.

OP can take what advice he wants, we come from all walks of life and bang all kinds of women.

Anytime a decent and quality girl I'm banging catches feelings, I'm nexting her, because there's always another girl, always more girls to game and bang. It saves alot of trouble, since I don't want an LTR.

Women don't make my life worth living, my life alone is worth living for myself, a women in it is just the icing on the cake. They come and they go.

I think that you guys are making similar claims, and that a guy needs to figure out the parameters that works for him, and then likely take a different approach to the extent to which the guy is interested in juggling LTRs under these kinds of conditions.

Sometimes, it may appear that a guy is either beta or white knighting or compromising too much if you attempt to assess half of the story regarding the framing or the distance tactics that are used to keep a girl in a kind of rotating harem status.

Also, I think that each of us are likely writing regarding our experiences, but OP seems to be long gone in his participation in this thread.

Where are you OP? and did you figure out a fix for this situation for yourself? hahahaha

Post: #15

Juan you're right, I should've made my point more clear, instead of writing on a whim

Post: #16

Trigger alert - high risk strategy....
How about telling your platea flatout that you have a friend (who happens to br a girl) in from Spain visitong you. Be up front and put it in their face - full disclosure (omit that you are banging her). Let them deal with the situation and watch the sparks fly.. They will be thrown off by this direct approach - will also save you the stress of making cover stories.
Girls do this exact thing to blue pill guys all the time ....

Post: #17

(02-18-2016 12:09 AM)kaotic Wrote:  Juan you're right, I should've made my point more clear, instead of writing on a whim

That's fine. i think that each of us kind of write whimsically from time to time based on things going on in our lives, and sometimes, we just don't have time to deal with various posts that seem to us to be purposefully inflammatory.

I've been kind of down on myself a bit lately because I am in a LTR, and out of convenience, I ended up giving in a bit more to the chick than my earlier stated preference.

So, sometimes I will find reasons to write about my own situation, and things going on in my life, even when it may not be exactly related to the thread.

Oh, surely I like to play the field, but there is some comfort too in a LTR... and in almost every LTR, I begin to get tired of the chick in a variety of ways after about 6 months, and yep, it is a hell-a-va lot easier to juggle several shorter-term relationships than including various quasi-LTRs in the mix... too much baggage, potentially.

So, sometimes, guys will call another guys behavior beta or compromising too much.... and failing to create a sufficient frame. But even in my recent set of compromising with my chick, without going into a lot of details, I do get the sense that I still am able to regain some of what I had thought was lost territory after I had initially compromised over to some of her terms.


Maybe being called a white knight is a more even more inflammatory assertion, but it appears in the interaction between you (Kaotic) and Darktriad, there was a bit of a misreading and maybe non-precise to define what was going on, and more senior members here are likely going to take more offense to being classified as white knighting rather than the more vague term of "beta" or "blue pill." I try not to take any of it personal, but maybe instead attempt clarification or an explanation of the underlying facts and to own up to whatever facts need to be owned up to on my behalf.

Post: #18

(02-18-2016 12:22 AM)El_gato Wrote:  Trigger alert - high risk strategy....
How about telling your platea flatout that you have a friend (who happens to br a girl) in from Spain visitong you. Be up front and put it in their face - full disclosure (omit that you are banging her). Let them deal with the situation and watch the sparks fly.. They will be thrown off by this direct approach - will also save you the stress of making cover stories.
Girls do this exact thing to blue pill guys all the time ....

Sure, guys can try whatever they think might work for them; however, what you are suggesting seems much more complicated and difficult for somebody like me to pull off or even to attempt. Sure, if you already know the girl may find out that you are hanging out with another girl, then fine, go ahead and disclose some of that.

For me, I have frequently found it better to avoid throwing fuel on any potential fire.

In the end, each guy is going to have to judge what will work for him under that circumstance, but really with most chicks, I would not really want to give them that level of detail (that I am going to be hanging out with another chick)... especially if I have a decent cover story such as work or just asserting that I am going to be generally busy... and then avoiding any major details to the extent that I can get away with not disclosing too many details.