Post: #1

A girlfriend which I haven't seen in over a month because I had to leave the country, recently got my attention and we started talking.

It was all nice and we started having a conversation, i sent her pictures of my city and then she sent me a picture of herself, saying she will send more. I check her social media profile and see that in the last few days she has gotten herself a new boyfriend.

The guy is a first class gopnik, which was quite surprising to say the least as she is on her way to doing a masters.

Anyway it got me thinking, why do girls get back in contact with ex boyfriends ?

Is it to see what you are doing ? in terms of who you are seeing, why should they care ?

From another perspective, are they looking to see if they can jump ship with you again, or is it merely to see how easy it would be to own you again.

Post: #2

Because they realize their new guy is nothing compared to you.

Post: #3

(06-30-2014 06:50 AM)Constitution45 Wrote:  ... recently got my attention and we started talking.

...I check her social media profile and see that in the last few days she has gotten herself a new boyfriend.

Post: #4

Constitution 45 - She is keeping her options open and you are the penis in the jar. It has happened to me, just try and get the bang ASAP.

I have a lizard that was wasting my time wanting to come over and makeout. I grew weary of these 'makeout' sessions as I have stuff to do and if we are not going to bang (we are not in high school etc), then let's keep it moving.

I don't want to hear about her day at work etc. Anyway, she will send these random texts etc. I have ignored them entirely. Last time I asked her to come over to bang, she scheduled to come over when she was on her period (allegedly).

Since then, I have gently bid her a fair adieu and ignored all ensuing correspondence.

Post: #5

(06-30-2014 07:13 AM)Moma Wrote:  Constitution 45 - She is keeping her options open and you are the penis in the jar. It has happened to me, just try and get the bang ASAP.

I have a lizard that was wasting my time wanting to come over and makeout. I grew weary of these 'makeout' sessions as I have stuff to do and if we are not going to bang (we are not in high school etc), then let's keep it moving.

I don't want to hear about her day at work etc. Anyway, she will send these random texts etc. I have ignored them entirely. Last time I asked her to come over to bang, she scheduled to come over when she was on her period (allegedly).

Since then, I have gently bid her a fair adieu and ignored all ensuing correspondence.

Yeah I see, going to be difficult as I have left the country now and won't be back there for a while. Perhaps she is trying to see if she can come over here. pfft

Post: #6

1) boredom
2) they want dick
3) they want their egos stroked

Avoid at all costs

WIA

Post: #7

@Constitution45 We've all been there man, and truth be told, 9 times out of 10, the chick is just looking for validation, attention and some ego-stroking.
Unless you no longer have any attraction for the girl at all, then best bet is to let it slide, and don't respond much (or at all).
A common one is for an ex to re-engage with you, just after she's been dumped by the guy she left for you.
Yes, many women really are that shallow!
Happened to me and I foolishly thought she was interested in me again, and flirted with her for a while to no avail.
Unless you were the one to break it off, there is very little to be gained from staying in touch with an ex.
Yes, there's instances where you can come back in the future, new and improved, and slay that poosy a few more times, before vanishing into the dust, but it's often not worth the effort.
She'll have deteriorated while you'll have improved in the interim.
I say nuke the hamster from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure.

Post: #8

(06-30-2014 12:29 PM)amity Wrote:  @Constitution45 We've all been there man, and truth be told, 9 times out of 10, the chick is just looking for validation, attention and some ego-stroking.
Unless you no longer have any attraction for the girl at all, then best bet is to let it slide, and don't respond much (or at all).
A common one is for an ex to re-engage with you, just after she's been dumped by the guy she left for you.
Yes, many women really are that shallow!
Happened to me and I foolishly thought she was interested in me again, and flirted with her for a while to no avail.
Unless you were the one to break it off, there is very little to be gained from staying in touch with an ex.
Yes, there's instances where you can come back in the future, new and improved, and slay that poosy a few more times, before vanishing into the dust, but it's often not worth the effort.
She'll have deteriorated while you'll have improved in the interim.
I say nuke the hamster from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure.

Yeah I appreciate the advice, we broke it off a few times and I was seeing other chicks, which were pretty obvious due to social media. Me having to leave the country was the final nail in the coffin; I learnt from the mistakes.

The impression I got was pretty simple and open, she wanted to know if I was seeing anyone and if I could give her some sort of buzz. Without sounding egotistical I feel kind of bad for the girl. The dude she is with looks like he will have a beer belly in a few times and probably will beat her up.

Despite being a hamsteresh succubus at times, she overall was a lot better than the Western women over here. I wish her a good future, but it sure ain't going to be with me.

Post: #9

Everyone's pretty much covered all the bases here, but I am going to present a hypothesis and take it from start to finish.

So you left the country (and her) a few months ago. She was probably not adequately prepared for this, but in order to cope she flocked to either a lower alpha guy or some beta orbiter that she had in her back pocket in order to not be alone. Girls do this all the time, hot girls are not expected to be single all the time. They have a lot more mobility in relationships, so when someone else comes along she can dump this shmuck and go onto the next one. This guy is purely temporary and he is only there to satisfy her until someone better comes along.

Whether she consciously went to a lower-status male in order to not be lonely or not is up for debate, but usually these relationships go through a honeymoon phase. If you left 6 weeks ago, you gave her a week or so to select, and then 4-5 weeks for the honeymoon phase. Now that that's over, she consciously or unconsciously is looking for another guy. It doesn't really matter which one, it just is.

By sending you a message, she can innocently feel out the water with you to figure out if you're going to come back/be back/if you guys will ever have a shot at getting back together. She can convince herself, and her boyfriend if he finds out, that you guys are 'just friends' and she was 'just trying to catch up' and 'see how you were doing'.

tl;dr: she's looking for another branch to swing to, you are of higher status and RMV/SMV than this other guy, and so by her messaging you she is testing the waters to see if you and her are even possible in the short to medium term

Post: #10

(06-30-2014 09:38 PM)From Vegas to Tokyo Wrote:  Everyone's pretty much covered all the bases here, but I am going to present a hypothesis and take it from start to finish.

So you left the country (and her) a few months ago. She was probably not adequately prepared for this, but in order to cope she flocked to either a lower alpha guy or some beta orbiter that she had in her back pocket in order to not be alone. Girls do this all the time, hot girls are not expected to be single all the time. They have a lot more mobility in relationships, so when someone else comes along she can dump this shmuck and go onto the next one. This guy is purely temporary and he is only there to satisfy her until someone better comes along.

Whether she consciously went to a lower-status male in order to not be lonely or not is up for debate, but usually these relationships go through a honeymoon phase. If you left 6 weeks ago, you gave her a week or so to select, and then 4-5 weeks for the honeymoon phase. Now that that's over, she consciously or unconsciously is looking for another guy. It doesn't really matter which one, it just is.

By sending you a message, she can innocently feel out the water with you to figure out if you're going to come back/be back/if you guys will ever have a shot at getting back together. She can convince herself, and her boyfriend if he finds out, that you guys are 'just friends' and she was 'just trying to catch up' and 'see how you were doing'.

tl;dr: she's looking for another branch to swing to, you are of higher status and RMV/SMV than this other guy, and so by her messaging you she is testing the waters to see if you and her are even possible in the short to medium term

This is the impression I gathered, before I was going to leave the country, she began offering me ultimatums to see if I was invested in her. I was very aloof and ended up breaking up with her a couple of times in response. In hindsight I wouldn't have but when you are used to Western women it makes you a lot more ruthless.

Still she has stopped speaking to me now and I am just going to leave her to it. I am hoping to return back in a year or so, but there is no way I am going to be emotionally invested in a women who is overseas for such a long time.

Post: #11

(06-30-2014 12:29 PM)amity Wrote:  @Constitution45 We've all been there man, and truth be told, 9 times out of 10, the chick is just looking for validation, attention and some ego-stroking.

She'll have deteriorated while you'll have improved in the interim.
I say nuke the hamster from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure.

These lines accurately describe a situation I recently had. An ex-gf from years ago sends me a series of messages on FB, which I ignored, and then two friend requests! I guess she changed her mind, then changed it back, or thought maybe I didn't notice the first one.

Anyhow, she had a different last name, and she's in a wedding dress on her profile pic (with her MOM in the background, not the hubby). After limiting my facebook stalking to about 2 min, I saw she moved to a different city from her new hubby to further her career/education- exactly the circumstance that made me have to break it off with her! I finally decided it was time to nuke a bitch. I basically implied what a lousy wife she was and not to talk to me, or any ex-bf. I even contemplated getting good nuke ideas from the forum, but thought against it as it is technically advise for one specific girl.

After nuking a bitch on FB, it's best to go ahead and block them before they try to get the last word in and try to inject any last venom. I didn't read her spiel but could garner the gist of it at a glance.

Anyways, it was pure attention-whoring and validation seeking. It made me wonder how long she'd been facebook stalking me, as the messages started coming within weeks of my leaving the country.

Even Russian girls get ruined when they're in the US for too long, as many of you know. I can say for sure I had her at her most attractive age, and she's already on the decline.

Post: #12

(07-01-2014 09:18 AM)Moto Wrote:  

(06-30-2014 12:29 PM)amity Wrote:  @Constitution45 We've all been there man, and truth be told, 9 times out of 10, the chick is just looking for validation, attention and some ego-stroking.

She'll have deteriorated while you'll have improved in the interim.
I say nuke the hamster from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure.

These lines accurately describe a situation I recently had. An ex-gf from years ago sends me a series of messages on FB, which I ignored, and then two friend requests! I guess she changed her mind, then changed it back, or thought maybe I didn't notice the first one.

Anyhow, she had a different last name, and she's in a wedding dress on her profile pic (with her MOM in the background, not the hubby). After limiting my facebook stalking to about 2 min, I saw she moved to a different city from her new hubby to further her career/education- exactly the circumstance that made me have to break it off with her! I finally decided it was time to nuke a bitch. I basically implied what a lousy wife she was and not to talk to me, or any ex-bf. I even contemplated getting good nuke ideas from the forum, but thought against it as it is technically advise for one specific girl.

After nuking a bitch on FB, it's best to go ahead and block them before they try to get the last word in and try to inject any last venom. I didn't read her spiel but could garner the gist of it at a glance.

Why? You gained from all that exactly what?

Post: #13

Not much. What does anyone gain from nuking a bitch? Still sometimes it has to be done. I wasn't going to try to tap that again, not worth it logistically and otherwise. I might have metaphorically slapped some sense into her and made her a better wife. Not my gain, but I don't mind doing it.

Post: #14

Recycling. It keeps her count low.

Perhaps all biological, I'm sure some post-evolutionary reasons. Males are potentially dangerous, plus women have to be more careful about std's. Makes sense for females to wanna recycle males.

Post: #15

Everything said so far you can take to the bank.

I would say she is testing you to see how pliable you are, and how susceptible you are to female charms.

Post: #16

you guys are literally the unsung heros of this tread, i was here sitting letting these beta thoughts creep in as to why my ex would bother to mesg me out the blue after a few years. And at first the beta in me was first to act but with abit of digging i saw she broke up with her recent bf . Forums like these help guys like us when we try to manipulate ourselves with these beta thoughts. much appreciated guys

Post: #17

Interesting timing on this bump. I just got a text from my ex, whom I broke up with two and a half years ago. It made me laugh how I didn't recognize her number, and had no emotional reaction to hearing from her, where 2 years ago I probably would have lost my shit.

Cheers to RVF.

Post: #18

What did she say ... "Hey Red, how's it going?" lol

Post: #19

they usually come at you with the classic lets grab a drink and catch up bullshit. I think it's worth seeing an ex and maybe trying to bang, but the odds of a relationship working out on the second go-round aren't all that high.

If you broke up there was a reason, whatever it was or whoever's fault it was. So tread lightly and don't get re-emotionally invested.

Post: #20

(08-03-2016 02:53 PM)Kid Twist Wrote:  What did she say ... "Hey Red, how's it going?" lol

She said she had some mail that was addressed to me (we used to live together). I told her to mail it to me. Then she goes on about her life or whatever. I just gave one word answers. I wasn't going to open the door to her asking to catch up or whatever.

Post: #21

Ex getting married in two months "accidentally" texted me last night and asked me if I still think about her and if I still wondered what it would have been like to stay together. I dumped her finally May 2014, and here she is texting me right before she gets married. I am guessing the new BF is letting her down. Its too bad, I wish she would move on. Annoying at best. She used to use jealousy against me to stir the pot, so I am guessing this poor guy is about to face this shit from her too. Didnt play the game, or flirt, etc. Didnt recognize her number either. That was a good feeling.

Post: #22

This happened to me quite recently. Former GF is going to get married soon, with big fanfare on facebook. Did not stopped her to contact me a few days later saying how much she missed me. I treated her with the usual coldness that has been a trademark since I surpassed that bad phase of my life...

I actually feel sorry for the poor chump, wich I met just once and circunstancially. Though she was quite a stunner in her 20s, in this phase of her life I think he looks better than her, even though he is older...

Could have been me... Redpill saves lives...

Post: #23

(06-30-2014 06:50 AM)Constitution45 Wrote:  A girlfriend which I haven't seen in over a month because I had to leave the country, recently got my attention and we started talking.

Post: #24

I've been single a few days now and my EX has hit me up on Facebook. I don't care what her motives are but she is currently in the position (hobby wise) that I am looking to be in a few years (established // connections // etc)

What course of action would you guys recommend I take on this? If I play this right I can gain some invaluable knowledge among other things.

Post: #25

Is she the only one you could ever get this information from?