Post: #1

I've been on an online/tinder campaign, farming numbers. I've slowly developed a bit of a script to quickly turn conversations flirty & sexual and to #close within 10 minutes. I then entertain them with some banter and drama game. But I was afraid to close and ask for a date, because my ego was invested in being proud about the effectiveness of my script and I didn't want all the 'work' to be for nothing. Yesterday I decided to just say f*ck it and attempt to date close all my running prospects with:

[Name] I have an idea!
Let's grab a drink next week What days are you available?

Result (6 prospects): 1 DTF, 5 ambiguous

Now I know there's one camp that would tell you to keep it simple. That it doesn't really matter how you ask. If she likes you she likes you, and it will be made easy for you. And if she's not really interested she'll give a non-actionable response. There's not much you can change about this through text magic, especially if you've met these people through tinder or okcupid.

However, there's another camp, which tells you it matters very much in what sequence you bring things (attraction first, comfort later), it matters how you word things (let's chill vs. let's date), it matters if you ask or state (can i have ur number? vs. let's exchange numbers!), etc... It's small details but they seem to have significant effect. Now you could lament the fact you seem to need Frank Luntz level of word-manipulation skills to get numbers & dates, but it is what it is.

I'm wondering if there's a more solid way of asking for dates in a way that circumvents the pitfalls of asking for it the wrong way.

Post: #2

I think it's not really a matter of what kind of text you send. Probably as more as you "entertain them" as more you are wasting your time, because they keep replying you just for make you keep being funny, but when it comes to set a date, they easily may not be interested in that.
I usually don't use Tinder, but the only two girls I met were evidently very interested from the beginning, always promptly responding to my text ecc. It was evident they liked me because of my pictures and my background, and what I wrote to them was very basic. Setting a date came very natural. Unfotunately I didn't bang neither of the two, one because was way less attractive in person, the other because she wanted to keep playing a dating game, and I was not into that.

Post: #3

Have you read Bang?

Also - don't say date close. This isn't RSD Gaytion.

Post: #4

My text game was really really bad, but now it got a little better thanks to the following guidelines that I try to incorporate in my text game:

1-No questions (lets go for drinks next Wednesday around 7)
2-less use of smileys
3-keep text simple and to the point
4-whenever you feel you're over thinking a text ad trying hard to sound interesting/funny just delete that text (if you read them later you'll laugh at yourself trust me)

I used this as my foundation for text game as mine was almost non existent. As you text more you'll learn how to tailor your own way, but the basics here are solid.

http://www.bangpickupguide.com/misc/text...rooshv.pdf

Post: #5

I always leave them hanging in anticipation before I actually ask them (to come over).
As in : "I know something fun we can do if you're interested..."
they'll ask something like "what do you have in mind?"
Me: "I'll make us dinner, you bring a bottle of wine."

Then they'll either go "ok" or "i'd rather meet for a drink first". In the later case I tease them by asking if it's too far out of their comfort zone. Sometimes they bite on that last one, sometimes they don't. But almost all of them are prepared for a drink because they "negotiated" the date down.

(disclaimer: I don't do the drinks, I normally next them if they don't want to come over - but do whatever you want)

Post: #6

(05-08-2015 04:04 AM)dtpilgrim Wrote:  I've been on an online/tinder campaign, farming numbers. I've slowly developed a bit of a script to quickly turn conversations flirty & sexual and to #close within 10 minutes. I then entertain them with some banter and drama game. But I was afraid to close and ask for a date, because my ego was invested in being proud about the effectiveness of my script and I didn't want all the 'work' to be for nothing. Yesterday I decided to just say f*ck it and attempt to date close all my running prospects with:

[Name] I have an idea!
Let's grab a drink next week What days are you available?

Result (6 prospects): 1 DTF, 5 ambiguous

Now I know there's one camp that would tell you to keep it simple. That it doesn't really matter how you ask. If she likes you she likes you, and it will be made easy for you. And if she's not really interested she'll give a non-actionable response. There's not much you can change about this through text magic, especially if you've met these people through tinder or okcupid.

However, there's another camp, which tells you it matters very much in what sequence you bring things (attraction first, comfort later), it matters how you word things (let's chill vs. let's date), it matters if you ask or state (can i have ur number? vs. let's exchange numbers!), etc... It's small details but they seem to have significant effect. Now you could lament the fact you seem to need Frank Luntz level of word-manipulation skills to get numbers & dates, but it is what it is.

I'm wondering if there's a more solid way of asking for dates in a way that circumvents the pitfalls of asking for it the wrong way.

I wouldn't use emoticons. I don't use exclamation points ( or very sparingly) you don't want to seem excited on a text.

Have a few back and forths with mundane conversation, building up momentum if you will, before asking the question for a date.

some argue not to even use question marks as it shows you really don't give a shit. I know this kind of minutiae seems ridiculous, but a woman's skittishness when trying to set a date is often ridiculous too.

etc.
You: Hey how's your week going so far
Her: Good! Just finished my exam (often they won't ask how you're doing as modern young women can be selfish and self centered....so your job as the man is to keep the flow going)
You: Nice, you get your roommate moved in?
Her: Yes last night
You: Great...glad it worked out. I thought it'd be nice to connect over drinks one evening at a nice lounge later this week?

Wait for her response here. That's really all you can do. There's no magic piecing of words, but there are things I would Not do....like I mentioned above with the girly emoticons.

A man is the one who has to be forward and ask to meet. It's just our role. We've got to put it out there and take the risk of a yes or no.

"Men are the risk takers in life"

Post: #7

del.

Post: #8

Never ask questions- everything should be phrased as a statement. Most of my invites are sent via text. Therefore, I also minimize length and punctuation.

Setting a specific venue and/or time has increased success for me and minimized flaking.

Rather than stating: 'let's meet for drinks thursday night'... Go with something more tangible:
'meet me at VENUE NAME for drinks. thursday @ 9'
'join me saturday for drinks @ 9:30'

Although I always ensure the logistics are in my favor, I send a confirmation message the day of the meet (2-4 hours before scheduled time):
'see you @ 9. text me when you're there'

Post: #9

^ I think to say "NEVER" ask questions is unrealistic. I ask questions all the time. Just in the right frame. One question I ask a lot:

"When are you free this week?"

If you just command her : Meet me at Joe's on Thurs. at 9" She may feel cornered/like she doesn't have options and just go radio silent or something. A lot of women aren't good at even doing basic things like figuring out options. So instead of a guy who would say "can't thursday how about friday or sat?" some women will do this but a lot just aren't that good at thinking things out. You have to make it easy for them and sometimes a question here or there figures out her logistics before you go for the date set up.

Post: #10

Date Close? Is this a thing now?

Post: #11

(05-08-2015 04:24 AM)redbeard Wrote:  Have you read Bang?

Also - don't say date close. This isn't RSD Gaytion.

I honestly don't get this PUA lingo bullshit perhaps we can talk like regular human beings. Is that too hard to ask?

Honestly date close though???? No such thing as a date close it's all about have you fucked her or not. Never settle for less in terms of mindset.

Post: #12

In terms of text game though: recently I've been using affirmative commands(such as: Come to X place at X time wear something nice/sexy) versus asking "When are you free?".

Post: #13

I think that it doesn't really matter how you ask cause If she likes you she likes you, and it will be made easy for you. And if she's not really interested she'll give a non-actionable response.

But..

If you want to try what's technically best then do this. Within the same text message write about something cool/fun/captivating/shocking/etc first and then add call to action at the end. Example:

"hey I did/saw/experienced blablabla today/lately. There's more to it if you want to hear it. Are you free tonight/tomorrow?".

That's the basic sketch, you tell her about something and link it to the meeting offer. You can also text her just the first part and wait for her to respond and then text back with something related to it and add your invitation at the end of that 2nd message. Depends on how much she's into you.

What it does it gives the girl something to talk about/text back so she's much more likely to respond to you even if she's not down for meeting you yet. Even if she's not ready yet you got her on the hook so you still have some impact and time to get her to come out. Whatever she responds with [if at all] it's still better than no response [if you care about her] cause you got something to work with. Then you can flirt/bullshit with her over the text, change her mood and invite her few text later when she's more eager.