Post: #1

Hi all.

First time posting here!

So I'm about to move to a new city for a new job. I'm straight outta college and was wondering how to improve my image in the new work place and around anyone who interacts with me. I never considered myself to be a beta but at the same time I'm not alpha. Somewhere in the middle though (I think this can apply to many of us newbies)?

A little about me in my current state:
As of today, I am in great shape. I'm 6'1'' and according to body fat calculators (using my measurements & weight) I am at less than 10% body fat (can someone also comment on the accuracy of these vs a DEXA scan... I just really don't want to pay $100+ for it). Though I am at low body fat... I only weigh about 160 so I'm considered thin (but my vasculature is great... which is nice lol).
I think I lack a lot of confidence for myself and am a little shy to just talk to random people out of fear of being judged. I was home schooled all of grade school and had braces in college (so it's kinda hard to shake off my insecurities...).
I'm also inexperienced since I've only ever kissed one girl (only took 20 years...). But ever since I got my braces off my female friends have told me their friends call me "handsome" and "attractive" which definitely feels good (a few of them to my face too). I also notice many of them look at me slightly differently. For a long time I also thought my race was holding me back. My insecurities with this lessened in college and even more when I kissed a white girl (let it be known the kissing was god awful by both of us).
My hobbies basically revolve around playing sports and working out. I don't have too much free time either since my work is very demanding (though I think everyone can make this excuse). A lot of time is also spent home cooking my meals since I try to eat very nutritiously and cheaply.

Another important thing to take notice is the people at my new work place are all incredibly bright people coming from the best institutions.
How do I present myself to my new colleagues as being a "cool/desirable guy?" After all there is a few hotties here and not many guys that are in as good as shape as me in my new work place.

Should I be an arrogant asshole? Should I be nice but mysterious?
How do I improve my charisma around smart people? I've read the newbie FAQ but these people are all interesting individuals doing admirable work. So how do I stand out amongst them? I'm also tired of being branded as the "nice guy." Some girls have even told me "you're so nice" which actually makes me cringe. I never considered myself to be nice... I only considered myself to be straight forward.
This is a great chance for me since I'm about to start over and I discovered this forum. I basically don't wanna just game some girl... but rather all my colleagues and in the process, bang the hot girl at work lol.

Post: #2

my honest opinion is to not seek answers to your problem.

But to just look at yourself and how you want to be.

Surround yourself around some good friends, and you'll know right away if someone has game or not.

Just absorb like a sponge and work on yourself.

Post: #3

There is already a gold mine of information on this forum so I'm going to keep my answers brief. I suggest you read through existing threads.

(08-07-2015 09:02 PM)BuffNerd Wrote:  I think I lack a lot of confidence for myself and am a little shy to just talk to random people out of fear of being judged.

If you want to get better with people, you're going to have to toss those thoughts aside. Don't go into it with a defeatist mindset or you will hold yourself back.

Look at your daily routine and how you can make opportunities to be social. I suggest you run day game because that will sharpen your overall social skills. Strike up random conversations with strangers as you go about your day and you'll become more confident.

(08-07-2015 09:02 PM)BuffNerd Wrote:  Another important thing to take notice is the people at my new work place are all incredibly bright people coming from the best institutions.
How do I present myself to my new colleagues as being a "cool/desirable guy?"

Just be chill. Being cool and desirable comes naturally. I wouldn't recommend faking it with people you're in constant contact with.

Your colleagues won't want anything from you other than a friendly demeanor and good work. Show them that you're a hard worker who doesn't take bullshit and you'll quickly figure out the ones you want to be around. This isn't any different from making friends in college, sports, clubs, etc.

(08-07-2015 09:02 PM)BuffNerd Wrote:  After all there is a few hotties here and not many guys that are in as good as shape as me in my new work place.

It doesn't matter, don't bang your coworkers. You just started your career. Don't fuck it up with some broad that can run to HR.

(08-07-2015 09:02 PM)BuffNerd Wrote:  Should I be an arrogant asshole? Should I be nice but mysterious?
How do I improve my charisma around smart people? I've read the newbie FAQ but these people are all interesting individuals doing admirable work.

I don't recommend being something you're not. If you've never been an arrogant asshole, how are you going to start being one tomorrow? You have to align game to your personality and interests. There is no cookie cutter approach. Become the strongest version of YOU.

I guarantee you everyone on this forum developed through hard work. You'll be at this for the rest of your life. Accept that and prepare yourself for the grind.

Good luck!

Post: #4

First Read.. No more Mr Nice guy...by Robert Glover..



Free your mind and your ass will follow..

Post: #5

Okay.
Thanks a lot you guys.

You're all right. I need to stop giving a F about what people think about me when they judge me.

I never intended to fake it especially since I want to also make genuine friends along the way.
Luckily playing sports is a big part of the culture at my new work environment... so I am hoping I am one of the more athletic ones in the group.

I'll try to make random small talk with strangers too as I go to the grocery store & etc. also to try to improve myself.
I need to also improve my story telling abilities... I'll read up on that and practice with random people to try to get better.

Post: #6

I would highly recommend you read the book, Psychocybernetics. It will help you with any sort of self image problem