Post: #1

This might be a little rambly, but you guys are used to me doing that So, one of the topics talked about a lot here is living location. Some of us, home is where we are, for others, a particular location is important. For me, location is everything. I can’t really just live anywhere and be happy. Some people don’t really get that, but that’s ok.

For the past few years I have been moving around for new jobs. Mainly, because in IT, to really up your salary, you have to make a jump to a new job for more money. This has been a successful tactic and I am almost very close to the salary I want to make. However, the drawback is, although I have increased my salary about three fold, I’ve had to do it in places that I really don’t like that well. So, I have been on the hunt to get back to where I want to live for the salary I want.

So, I have lived in a particular city for a long time (since the late 90s). I always loved it, but had an opportunity to change jobs for more pay years ago. Since then, I have changed jobs in different cities as well as some other states. But, I now have the opportunity to go back to my favorite city with a salary that is remarkable compared to when I left. This is a dream come true!

Now my dilemma. I have the official offer, but only have about thirty days to move and start work. That isn’t really the hard part. The hard part is my live in g/f who just moved with me again for the fourth time a couple of months ago. I am torn at this point, I have a chance to be completely free both financially and emotionally, however, I’m not miserable and she is a cool person to be with. It’s just I’m looming on 40, not going to marry her and I don’t want kids. If she was a complete bitch, this would be so much easier.

Of course, I am sure she would come with me again, I am just not sure how to approach it.

I truly do not know what I want at this moment and I don't have a lot of time to think about it.

Has anyone faced this before? If So, what would you guys do in my situation?

Thanks guys.

Post: #2

(08-20-2015 03:09 PM)Kaii Wrote:  This might be a little rambly, but you guys are used to me doing that So, one of the topics talked about a lot here is living location. Some of us, home is where we are, for others, a particular location is important. For me, location is everything. I can’t really just live anywhere and be happy. Some people don’t really get that, but that’s ok.

For the past few years I have been moving around for new jobs. Mainly, because in IT, to really up your salary, you have to make a jump to a new job for more money. This has been a successful tactic and I am almost very close to the salary I want to make. However, the drawback is, although I have increased my salary about three fold, I’ve had to do it in places that I really don’t like that well. So, I have been on the hunt to get back to where I want to live for the salary I want.

So, I have lived in a particular city for a long time (since the late 90s). I always loved it, but had an opportunity to change jobs for more pay years ago. Since then, I have changed jobs in different cities as well as some other states. But, I now have the opportunity to go back to my favorite city with a salary that is remarkable compared to when I left. This is a dream come true!

Now my dilemma. I have the official offer, but only have about thirty days to move and start work. That isn’t really the hard part. The hard part is my live in g/f who just moved with me again for the fourth time a couple of months ago. I am torn at this point, I have a chance to be completely free both financially and emotionally, however, I’m not miserable and she is a cool person to be with. It’s just I’m looming on 40, not going to marry her and I don’t want kids. If she was a complete bitch, this would be so much easier.

Of course, I am sure she would come with me again, I am just not sure how to approach it.

I truly do not know what I want at this moment and I don't have a lot of time to think about it.

Has anyone faced this before? If So, what would you guys do in my situation?

Thanks guys.

Dude whats it there to think about, it's your dream go for it and if she isn't on board throw her overboard. I know it sounds harsh but no man dying on his bed says that he's grateful for giving up his dream.

Post: #3

^^^ pretty much this.

If you don't plan on having kids or getting married (one in the same to me) then I don't know why this woman would hold you back from pursing this lifelong opportunity. There are plenty of other fish in the sea and I'm sure you'll find more girls in the new place.

Change is good and you'll grow a lot from this I'm sure.

I just hope it's not San Francisco!

Post: #4

Time for a relationship shit test. One person has to be in charge and the other person has to follow. Announce your move to take the job and how its 'what you've always wanted' invite her to come with you (I would assume that you would be fine with this vs. her cramping you chasing pussy otherwise...why is she living with you?).

A wife (or Live in girlfriend I guess?) Is like the well compensated executive assistant to your life. She wields your power by proxy and is there to support you, but she isnt' the one leading. If she comes with you she's showing that a) she's willing to sacrifice herself for you and b) that she's entrusting her basic needs to you...as she'll not know the city and be unemployed for a time being.

If she bails, you aren't a team, you are common tennants in an apartment that fuck. If this whole notion freaks you out, you shouldn't be living with a woman at all.

Post: #5

Move AND break with her.

If she's such a fucking loser she can move her job around in 30 days you should never live with her.

Post: #6

Go back home.

Trust me, she'll follow you there.

If you don't move back, you'll always regret it and you'll lose her respect. Put your foot down and be adamant about this.

Post: #7

I'm with everyone else. This seems very clear cut to me. Maybe there's some other element to it you didn't mention, or maybe this girl is special to you in some way that we don't know.

Either way this is your dream, this is you, and you should go for it. You've had this girl around and she apparently comes and goes. Dream opportunities don't tend to do that. And being almost 40, you're just young enough to reap all the benefits of establishing the ideal life for yourself and just old enough to not afford losing it.

This girl would understand your situation I'm sure. Like Dr. Howard said you should explain that this is what you want. You would lose respect from her if a year from now you told her you had this opportunity and didn't tell her for fear of losing her. As far as how to ask, just sit her round ass down and tell her what this means to you.

It'll probably help your game anyway. Men with goals+priorities=wet pussy

Post: #8

(08-20-2015 03:09 PM)Kaii Wrote:  This might be a little rambly, but you guys are used to me doing that So, one of the topics talked about a lot here is living location. Some of us, home is where we are, for others, a particular location is important. For me, location is everything. I can’t really just live anywhere and be happy. Some people don’t really get that, but that’s ok.

For the past few years I have been moving around for new jobs. Mainly, because in IT, to really up your salary, you have to make a jump to a new job for more money. This has been a successful tactic and I am almost very close to the salary I want to make. However, the drawback is, although I have increased my salary about three fold, I’ve had to do it in places that I really don’t like that well. So, I have been on the hunt to get back to where I want to live for the salary I want.

So, I have lived in a particular city for a long time (since the late 90s). I always loved it, but had an opportunity to change jobs for more pay years ago. Since then, I have changed jobs in different cities as well as some other states. But, I now have the opportunity to go back to my favorite city with a salary that is remarkable compared to when I left. This is a dream come true!

Now my dilemma. I have the official offer, but only have about thirty days to move and start work. That isn’t really the hard part. The hard part is my live in g/f who just moved with me again for the fourth time a couple of months ago. I am torn at this point, I have a chance to be completely free both financially and emotionally, however, I’m not miserable and she is a cool person to be with. It’s just I’m looming on 40, not going to marry her and I don’t want kids. If she was a complete bitch, this would be so much easier.

Of course, I am sure she would come with me again, I am just not sure how to approach it.

I truly do not know what I want at this moment and I don't have a lot of time to think about it.

Has anyone faced this before? If So, what would you guys do in my situation?

Thanks guys.

Go for your dream, really man.

If you don't I can guarantee that this woman will leave you. Women would rather see their man go and follow their purpose than stay with them.
They don't really want to be first in this regard, although they may say they do. Deep down inside they will be more confident and happy with themselves, if they knew that their man left them to pursue his dream and what he is meant to do than. Rather stay with her and be discontent.

Also this will reflect through your children in the future, who will sense this discontent inside of you.

Post: #9

N e v e r compromise your dream for a woman, especially if you know in advance you're not going to have children ( with her or at all ). Women come and go, you can find another cool chick to live with. Are you sure you can get another chance to live your dream?