Post: #1

First time post on here. Anywhere else in the sphere I go I get nasty women attacking me for what I'm about to vent.

But I've been a long follower of roosh's blog and the like. I know this community is more of sound mind.

This will be a vent but I need to get it out. Bare with me.

In my 20s I dabbled in relationships. Always weary of the concept of marriage I avoided it. Then in my 30s I just kept things simple. Short term relationships or flings. I got tired of that last year at 36 (now 37 yo). I met a girl that had got out of a divorce but claimed she was over it (2 years after but the proceedings were ugly and carried on throughout the year of our relationship). She fought for her marriage for years with a guy that was emotionally abusive, alcoholic, cheated on her with pros and others and eventually left her for a younger girl (she is a year older than me).

Figuring she would now want something healthy and not into games I figured she was a good partner. We had a lot in common. The attraction was there. In the beginning she was very open, which locked me in. Despite all the red flags (oh yeah she has abandonment issues after her parents divorce as a child - she knows her dad cheated on her mom) I dived head in - trusting she would always make me aware of where I stood with her transparency.

Somewhere along the line she stopped communicating. She kept leading me to think things were good. Took me to a family function last weekend. Then dumped me out of the blue when I got home with a phone call. Claimed she loved me but wasn't in love with me. I figure things got comfortable (healthy) and she didn't have the drama that she probably needs to feel anything. I'm not sure.

Normally I bounce back fine. But I swore of relationships and marriage and backed off on that because she led me to believe this was a relationship she wanted all the way through. I went with it. I don't believe in the concept of "love" how it is sold. You care for people and the ones you love but eventually that initial spark dies out and you have to work to keep things working. This was driven into me by my parents who have been married for 40 years and my dad is a therapist. They've always been very honest with me about the reality of relationships. Now I'm done with the idea of anything long term. I got fooled bad. I gave up all I used to be to try a relationship and I was proven that the old way of thinking is accurate.

Not sure what I'm trying to get from this. I guess just sharing. I have to crawl back from the abyss I put myself in. I'm embarrassed I considered the idea of a relationship with a girl with these red flags. What was I thinking?

Post: #2

You said it yourself, you got into a relationship with someone who was showing red flags, yet pursued that relationship like it didn't matter.

Try and be more logical/calculating in your LTR choices, as opposed to emotional.

Post: #3

The best way to get over one chick is to get under another.

Hang in there.

Post: #4

Dont think chicks who divorced are ever worth the time, if they were they wouldn't have split.

Post: #5

What would your namesake do to forget Evelyn?

Do a bunch of cocaine and valium, drink a bunch of Stoli on the rocks, dine at Dorsia (but certainly not Texarkana, although the mud soup and charcoal arugula are outrageous there), hit The Tunnel or Canal Bar, and smash other chicks. Maybe commit a murder or five along the way.

Do something along those lines (except for the last part, unless you feel particularly adventurous); you'll get over her promptly.

Post: #6

Yeah she was always referencing the relationship. Way more than is normal - even if it was a 10 year relationship and 5 year marriage. Anytime I did something that reminded her of the bad times of her relationship she was at risk of crying.

Old me would've left at the first sign of this. I got so tired of chasing girls I accepted this - what is wrong with me??

Post: #7

"Nothing gets you over the last one like the next one"-Anonymous

Go bang younger hotter chicks..At 37 youre at your peak value, You should be targeting younger any way

Post: #8

I think every one here has probably run that red flag gamble at least one in their life. At least you can learn from it and move on.

Post: #9

Standard oneitis. Belongs in the beginner forum.

As others have said, move on. Hit on younger women. Give it time. Don't stress, we all ignore the red flags every now and again.

Post: #10

(11-07-2015 07:06 PM)PBateman Wrote:  Not sure what I'm trying to get from this. I guess just sharing. I have to crawl back from the abyss I put myself in. I'm embarrassed I considered the idea of a relationship with a girl with these red flags. What was I thinking?

It happens. Focus on not making the same mistakes.

In this case it sounds like your pipeline wasn't full enough.
So that made this Red Flag of a Woman to be the best option.

Get back in the game.

WIA

Post: #11

I posted my story on some regular forum. What interested me was the reaction of people.

So many claims of: the ONE will come along. She wanted more. All of the cliches. Some people really went after me. Calling me arrogant. Some women in particular really disliked my attitude about relationships lol.

Just reminds me that people really don't have a clue. Does anyone here really believe in the "ONE" concept or that you'll have tingles all over forever when you meet someone special? I mean after years of an increasing rate of failed relationships and marriages how is it that people still believe this garbage? For me that's the big one not to get into serious relationships - if the girl has a fairy tale view of relationships.

Post: #12

I wrote about a very similar situation here:

- The Awakening (Part 1)

/thread-51328.html

- The Awakening (Part 2)

/thread-51334.html

- The Awakening (Part 3)

/thread-51335.html

It hurts. It will hurt for awhile. But you grow and move on.

You'll be stronger for it down the road.

Post: #13

Read all of that. Good writing.

What a story though wow. It had some key reminders that I need to keep in mind as I move forward. Let myself lose a lot of my red pill knowledge slip in the past year.