Post: #1

Looking for some opinions of how to proceed here:

Met a girl at a bar while out with some friends on Friday night this weekend. At the bar, we're talking, dancing, making out. We walk back to her house (she's holding my hand the whole time) and hangout for maybe an hour or two - talking, hooking up more. She's seems pretty interested based on questions she's asking me and just general vibe. She has a friend visiting so I get an uber finally at around 430am. She texts "thanks for walking me home" 15 min later (she had put her number in earlier). I respond with something and she says something back.

I don't text her back again until saturday around 3p, saying let's grab drinks this week. She was a cool girl and i feel like she was clearly attracted and interested - didn't understand the radio silence.

So I said what the hell and double texted, teasing her about something we talked about Friday and she replies:

"Haha actually pretty busy this week sorry! And pretty sure you made fun of my______ ( thing I mentioned)"

Do I take the busy as her blowing me off? How should I proceed?

Thanks guys

Post: #2

(11-16-2015 10:11 PM)keegs Wrote:  Looking for some opinions of how to proceed here:

Met a girl at a bar while out with some friends on Friday night this weekend. At the bar, we're talking, dancing, making out. We walk back to her house (she's holding my hand the whole time) and hangout for maybe an hour or two - talking, hooking up more. She's seems pretty interested based on questions she's asking me and just general vibe. She has a friend visiting so I get an uber finally at around 430am. She texts "thanks for walking me home" 15 min later (she had put her number in earlier). I respond with something and she says something back.

I don't text her back again until saturday around 3p, saying let's grab drinks this week. She was a cool girl and i feel like she was clearly attracted and interested - didn't understand the radio silence.

So I said what the hell and double texted, teasing her about something we talked about Friday and she replies:

"Haha actually pretty busy this week sorry! And pretty sure you made fun of my______ ( thing I mentioned)"

Do I take the busy as her blowing me off? How should I proceed?

Thanks guys

"i did"

Then exercise the masculine virtue of patience to see what she says. If she doesn't respond in a few days, text her "chu doin" and setup a date.

Post: #3

Yeah you jumped straight into logistics/asking for a date when you needed to build it back up to the point.

"shame"

and re-engage later on in the week, if you haven't replaced her by then.

Post: #4

Decided to go with a different response, which turned into a good little 6-7 text rapport last night.

Haven't replied to her last text. What do you guys think - should I wait to reply til like Thurs and then text for a drink meetup?

Post: #5

Sometimes Game smiles upon you.
Jump on this, realising if she didn't reply it would be whatever.

Go for a drinking plan.
If she acts flakey again, drop the hammer.
You'll met a bar, this is just the continuation of that

Maybe she bites, probably she doesn't.
Have a back up or two for the weekend.

Post: #6

Curious, what was your saving text?

Post: #7

(11-16-2015 10:11 PM)keegs Wrote:  Looking for some opinions of how to proceed here:

Met a girl at a bar while out with some friends on Friday night this weekend. At the bar, we're talking, dancing, making out. We walk back to her house (she's holding my hand the whole time) and hangout for maybe an hour or two - talking, hooking up more. She's seems pretty interested based on questions she's asking me and just general vibe. She has a friend visiting so I get an uber finally at around 430am. She texts "thanks for walking me home" 15 min later (she had put her number in earlier). I respond with something and she says something back.

I don't text her back again until saturday around 3p, saying let's grab drinks this week. She was a cool girl and i feel like she was clearly attracted and interested - didn't understand the radio silence.

So I said what the hell and double texted, teasing her about something we talked about Friday and she replies:

"Haha actually pretty busy this week sorry! And pretty sure you made fun of my______ ( thing I mentioned)"

Do I take the busy as her blowing me off? How should I proceed?

Thanks guys

Stop texting, give her a call and ask her out, no more radio silences and expectations of incoming messages, just a yes or no (a maybe is a no). Seems only few men do this nowadays. Shows confidence in yourself, and puts you above the pack.

Busy men do not have time for texting.

Post: #8

Jump on this as in reply tonight for drinks this weekend; or, ask on Thursday for Fri or Sat? - Basically asking when is best to re-engage.

Rocha - will think that one over, have to decide if this is the type of girl receptive to hat.

Saving text was basically re-enforcing the teasing, didnt even mention the drinks (basically came off like i didnt give an fuck, which I think played well here).

Post: #9

(11-17-2015 04:25 PM)keegs Wrote:  Jump on this as in reply tonight for drinks this weekend; or, ask on Thursday for Fri or Sat? - Basically asking when is best to re-engage.

Rocha - will think that one over, have to decide if this is the type of girl receptive to hat.

Saving text was basically re-enforcing the teasing, didnt even mention the drinks (basically came off like i didnt give an fuck, which I think played well here).

I'd reframe that -

"lets do drinks this week. i could make thursday or saturday work"

It's subtle, but asking what's best for her suggests her time is more valuable than yours.

Post: #10

(11-17-2015 04:32 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

(11-17-2015 04:25 PM)keegs Wrote:  Jump on this as in reply tonight for drinks this weekend; or, ask on Thursday for Fri or Sat? - Basically asking when is best to re-engage.

Rocha - will think that one over, have to decide if this is the type of girl receptive to hat.

Saving text was basically re-enforcing the teasing, didnt even mention the drinks (basically came off like i didnt give an fuck, which I think played well here).

I'd reframe that -

"lets do drinks this week. i could make thursday or saturday work"

It's subtle, but asking what's best for her suggests her time is more valuable than yours.

I like it, but she already said she was "pretty busy" this week, which is why I was gonna wait til Thursday or tomorrow and ask about Friday/the weekend. Thoughts?

Post: #11

Leave her open as a potential and keep hitting on other chics.

A huge difference between chics and dudes. We see black and white, they see all those weird shades of grey (never read book or saw movie, but I suspect the reason for the title).

Chic thinks: He might be a good fuck. Maybe he has a giant penis or will make good money someday. Maybe a small penis, but he'd listen to me if I need a shoulder to cry on. Or maybe he's ruthless enough to protect me from danger. Maybe I like him enough to have a relationship, but the college qb was hitting on me earlier and I'd like to fuck him first. Who knows.

Dude thinks: "Is she the one?"

I said it before, chics hate rejecting a guy as much as guys hate getting rejected. She doesn't want to say no to you, because like you, she always wants you out there as potential (sex, resources, safety, whatever).

Point is, leave her as potential, maybe she'll text you (no bang probably not but maybe)...maybe she'll meet up with you if you text her. My experience? At this point she's just a phone number. Making out is like breathing to a woman.

Post: #12

(11-17-2015 05:05 PM)heavy Wrote:  Leave her open as a potential and keep hitting on other chics.

A huge difference between chics and dudes. We see black and white, they see all those weird shades of grey (never read book or saw movie, but I suspect the reason for the title).

Chic thinks: He might be a good fuck. Maybe he has a giant penis or will make good money someday. Maybe a small penis, but he'd listen to me if I need a shoulder to cry on. Or maybe he's ruthless enough to protect me from danger. Maybe I like him enough to have a relationship, but the college qb was hitting on me earlier and I'd like to fuck him first. Who knows.

Dude thinks: "Is she the one?"

I said it before, chics hate rejecting a guy as much as guys hate getting rejected. She doesn't want to say no to you, because like you, she always wants you out there as potential (sex, resources, safety, whatever).

Point is, leave her as potential, maybe she'll text you (no bang probably not but maybe)...maybe she'll meet up with you if you text her. My experience? At this point she's just a phone number. Making out is like breathing to a woman.

Thanks man, good post.

So you're suggesting don't even text her back at all, and at most ask to meet up on like Fri?

Post: #13

(11-17-2015 04:40 PM)keegs Wrote:  

(11-17-2015 04:32 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

(11-17-2015 04:25 PM)keegs Wrote:  Jump on this as in reply tonight for drinks this weekend; or, ask on Thursday for Fri or Sat? - Basically asking when is best to re-engage.

Rocha - will think that one over, have to decide if this is the type of girl receptive to hat.

Saving text was basically re-enforcing the teasing, didnt even mention the drinks (basically came off like i didnt give an fuck, which I think played well here).

I'd reframe that -

"lets do drinks this week. i could make thursday or saturday work"

It's subtle, but asking what's best for her suggests her time is more valuable than yours.

I like it, but she already said she was "pretty busy" this week, which is why I was gonna wait til Thursday or tomorrow and ask about Friday/the weekend. Thoughts?

You're worried about her availability, when she should be more worried about yours. Her time is not more valuable than yours. By tiptoeing around her schedule you're putting her on a pedestal, which sends a weak message.

If a woman is into you, you'll never lose her just by asking her out on a night when she's busy. If she's into you, she'll make the time one way or another.

Ask her out for drinks. If she's flakey about it or "is too busy", she's wasting your time.

Post: #14

So basically the rapport has been something teasingly that she is trying to convince me of.

Her last reply: "I don't know how I can convince you further haha"

I'm thinking I reply: "convince me Friday over drinks"

Thoughts?

Post: #15

(11-17-2015 07:22 PM)keegs Wrote:  So basically the rapport has been something teasingly that she is trying to convince me of.

Her last reply: "I don't know how I can convince you further haha"

I'm thinking I reply: "convince me Friday over drinks"

Thoughts?

"I have a few ideas on how.."

Let it simmer. What happened to good ol' flirting?

Guys get so adamant about setting a date up immediately without building it up then wonder why girls flake.

p.s. how many times have you asked her now to meet? there is a line you need to draw

Post: #16

(11-18-2015 02:55 AM)Noir Wrote:  

(11-17-2015 07:22 PM)keegs Wrote:  So basically the rapport has been something teasingly that she is trying to convince me of.

Her last reply: "I don't know how I can convince you further haha"

I'm thinking I reply: "convince me Friday over drinks"

Thoughts?

"I have a few ideas on how.."

Let it simmer. What happened to good ol' flirting?

Guys get so adamant about setting a date up immediately without building it up then wonder why girls flake.

p.s. how many times have you asked her now to meet? there is a line you need to draw

Thanks - I like that. Will probably shoot it to her today.

The only time I mentioned drinks to her was in what was one of my first texts to her on Saturday that she didn't reply to. In that case, am I safe to ask again after a little more rapport?

Post: #17

(11-18-2015 09:59 AM)keegs Wrote:  

(11-18-2015 02:55 AM)Noir Wrote:  

(11-17-2015 07:22 PM)keegs Wrote:  So basically the rapport has been something teasingly that she is trying to convince me of.

Her last reply: "I don't know how I can convince you further haha"

I'm thinking I reply: "convince me Friday over drinks"

Thoughts?

"I have a few ideas on how.."

Let it simmer. What happened to good ol' flirting?

Guys get so adamant about setting a date up immediately without building it up then wonder why girls flake.

p.s. how many times have you asked her now to meet? there is a line you need to draw

Thanks - I like that. Will probably shoot it to her today.

The only time I mentioned drinks to her was in what was one of my first texts to her on Saturday that she didn't reply to. In that case, am I safe to ask again after a little more rapport?

Pretty much yes.

To minimize flaking, you gotta get her back in to the mindset and emotional level of when she was into you or gave you her number.

In old school game they would call this buying temperature, look it up if you are interested further.

Therefore, flirting/teasing + comfort i.e. push/pull will 'pump' her buying temperature and then you can ask her for the date.

You can push/pull over text with your timing, content, punctuation.

Post: #18

Texted her the I have a few ideas line. Nothing yet, will update.

Post: #19

Nothing yet boys, might have to take the L on this one.

ugh

Post: #20

^^ That's what I mean. This is the difference between your less experienced self and your more experienced (future) self.

Right now you're thinking you'll be taking an L on her.

When you get more experienced, you'll realize there's no W or L. There's just a chic as a former or potential future lover.

This is in part why I always go with ambiguous game. It's not an easy one to embody, but once you have it down, everything is a tease. Other guys have their thing. I have ambiguous game:

1. Smirk - The toughest face to read. "Is he pandering to me? Is he making fun? Is he really into me, wants to marry me...or just fuck me? Ugh I can't read him. Whoa, is it warm in here?"
2. Sarcasm - Allows plausible deniability. "Nice shirt, I like it" ... "Wait, does he like my shirt or is he teasing me? Dammit I can never read him."
3. Non committal statements - Don't mention time, location, details...again, plausible deniability. We should hang out. You should come over. Why have we never hung out? "I'm busy tonight" ... "Oh yeah I meant sometime next week."
4. These passive aggressive sarcastic plausible deniability moves will also change the way you think a bit. Your brain will see the situation as more of a game than "Is she the one?" mentality.

Concerns
- You need to be able to read the situation. Ambiguity allows you to read the situation before making the next move, but if you can't read the situation, she'll see you as weak for not committing and doing what you want.
- (start psychologist appointment) It's possible to avoid the feeling of rejection by utilizing this game. I was divorced before this shit, so I had completely grieved the rejection of my ex-wife. Don't use this passive aggressive game and mentality to avoid real feelings of getting rejected by chics. Sometimes it's good to show yourself and feel those feelings. It's why I encourage newbs and young guys to go for the girl, to over-pursue and over-text and whatever, to screw up, so they feel the rejection. It helps you understand yourself (and women). (ok done being psychologist now)

Good luck and keep rolling.

Post: #21

Thanks Heavy, really appreciate that advice.

This particular girl just really threw me because I've never had a situation before where the girl is so down and into me (jumping me, biting my ears, texting me immediate at 5am when i leave etc), but then is virtually MIA the week after. Then on top of it all, we have a great report Monday night and then she doesn't reply to last text. This just hasnt happened before to me so I did't get it.

The worst part is that a small part of me is holding out hope/drafting another double text in my mind...............

Post: #22

(11-19-2015 02:16 PM)keegs Wrote:  Thanks Heavy, really appreciate that advice.

This particular girl just really threw me because I've never had a situation before where the girl is so down and into me (jumping me, biting my ears, texting me immediate at 5am when i leave etc), but then is virtually MIA the week after. Then on top of it all, we have a great report Monday night and then she doesn't reply to last text. This just hasnt happened before to me so I did't get it.

The worst part is that a small part of me is holding out hope/drafting another double text in my mind...............

Did you fuck this girl? What does "hooking up" mean in your OP?

Post: #23

(11-19-2015 09:52 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(11-19-2015 02:16 PM)keegs Wrote:  Thanks Heavy, really appreciate that advice.

This particular girl just really threw me because I've never had a situation before where the girl is so down and into me (jumping me, biting my ears, texting me immediate at 5am when i leave etc), but then is virtually MIA the week after. Then on top of it all, we have a great report Monday night and then she doesn't reply to last text. This just hasnt happened before to me so I did't get it.

The worst part is that a small part of me is holding out hope/drafting another double text in my mind...............

Did you fuck this girl? What does "hooking up" mean in your OP?

no bang, basically making out, groping, etc. her friend was in the other room and could tell she was hesitant.