Post: #1

Hello Guys! I'll be an expat living in NJ , starting Jan 16.

I'm Portuguese and Brazilian (Dual citizen) and I'm going to work at my company US HQ located in Morristown, NJ.

As a single guy looking to build a social circle in the US and meet women, I have some questions on what I should do to make the most out of this opportunity:

1) It's a good idea to live in Morristown ? Or I should look elsewhere (Jersey City , Hoboken, nearby cities ?) - The company will pay, but I must consider an average budget and commute challenges.

2) Best way to meet people and women.

3) Being a highly educated foreigner is a con / pro or indifferent when it comes to women ?

4) As I have 2 nationalities , could you tell me honestly which one would be the best to "present myself" game-wise ? Portuguese / European or Brazilian (Maybe Brazilians are not well seen in the region due to poor latin American illegals ?) Be honest here please.

Thank you!

Post: #2

(11-26-2015 08:10 AM)Mr.GM Wrote:  Hello Guys! I'll be an expat living in NJ , starting Jan 16.

I'm Portuguese and Brazilian (Dual citizen) and I'm going to work at my company US HQ located in Morristown, NJ.

As a single guy looking to build a social circle in the US and meet women, I have some questions on what I should do to make the most out of this opportunity:

1) It's a good idea to live in Morristown ? Or I should look elsewhere (Jersey City , Hoboken, nearby cities ?) - The company will pay, but I must consider an average budget and commute challenges.

2) Best way to meet people and women.

3) Being a highly educated foreigner is a con / pro or indifferent when it comes to women ?

4) As I have 2 nationalities , could you tell me honestly which one would be the best to "present myself" game-wise ? Portuguese / European or Brazilian (Maybe Brazilians are not well seen in the region due to poor latin American illegals ?) Be honest here please.

Thank you!

Morristown is a nice area. There are a few bars, but like most suburban NJ towns, it is boring and not the best place to be single. I suggest moving to Hoboken or you my find that NYC will be roughly the same commute depending on neighborhood. I did the reverse commute from NYC to NJ for a few years.

Hoboken or NYC will be better for building a social circle and the opportunities to meet single girls will be much higher. If you move to Morristown, you will probably be hanging out in Hoboken or NYC anyway. Might as well set up there.

Post: #3

I cosign living in Hoboken/JC/NYC. You'll need a car regardless of course since Morristown is suburban.

There's no hate for Brazilians, I'd go with that as a default. Portugal is underrated and probably won't get you any passive interest.

There is a huge Portuguese and Brazilian population in Newark - the Ironbound neighborhood specifically - if you get homesick.

Post: #4

Do you guys think that it is useful in America to participate in Yelp / Meetup groups ? Or I should focus on the Bar scene, meeting people from work etc.

I understand that my Brazilian regular game will not work very well in the U.S, and I'll need to adapt. It's going to be a big challenge.

Post: #5

Like the others said, I would go with Brazilian. From what I gather, the Latin labels that might be a negative here are mexican/puerto rican/domican/bolivian. Most Americans are never exposed to Brazilians, and the ones who are see it as positive. When people think of Brazil, they think of Brazilian steak houses and carnival. The Brazilians who come here are upper middle class exchange students, though there's a handful of au pairs. Dressing with style helps and with you being educated, I think it could only benefit you. There's a lot of over-educated artsy and world traveler types around NYC and I think you'd have high exotic value with them.

Something that might be a shock to you coming from Brazil is how unfriendly people can be in Northeastern US cities. Unless they're out in a park or at a coffee shop, most people just want to get from A to B and might be stressed out from a long day of work. While most people will be polite and willing to help if you're asking for directions, they won't go out of their way to be friendly and some are outright rude. This is especially true in the winter, as people don't want to stay outside long when it's below freezing.

Meeting people is harder in the winter. You'd probably have the best luck in malls or coffee shops. Are there any colleges near where you'll be staying? The quality is low, but okcupid and tinder provide an online option. Taking a girl ice skating then getting hot chocolate and netflix could work for a date idea. If you're a skiier, there's some decent skiing a couple hours drive west of where you'll be staying. People in the ski lodge/cafeteria area are usually pretty friendly. One thing that I've noticed in the US is the difficulty of making new friends after a certain age. After college, most people only make friends with their roommates or work colleagues. You'll make friends in a bar and talk all night with your new buddy, but they flake next time you plan on meeting up.

How much time do you have to travel? You can hit a lot of east coast cities using Amtrak (Boston, Philly, DC), though it's often easier and cheaper to drive. Use http://www.theflightdeal.com/category/flight-deals/nyc/ to stay updated on some insanely cheap flight offers. Flying to somewhere warm for a weekend during the winter can be a breath of fresh air. Before you travel to a new city, get an understanding of where the bad neighborhoods are. American cities can vary A LOT in safety from neighborhood to neighborhood.

If you want to visit Philly, or need help with anything just PM me and I'll do what I can. Good luck!

Post: #6

Can I ask, why you moved from Brazil to USA?

I would stay as close to NYC as possible, there are a lot of cool RVFers there that you can meet.

Post: #7

Morristown has a really big Colombian population, but it is a suburb and logistics are probably terrible. As far as I can tell, the white girls there are quality, much better than most places. I would shoot for the Ironbound, which is a neighborhood in Newark. It probably has the highest density of Brazilians and Portuguese people outside of those respective countries. Although it is Newark, It's pretty safe and us one of the better areas of that city.

Post: #8

(11-26-2015 02:10 PM)Mr.GM Wrote:  I understand that my Brazilian regular game will not work very well in the U.S, and I'll need to adapt. It's going to be a big challenge.

I wouldn't risk the "mata leão" kiss on girls in the US

Post: #9

(11-26-2015 02:10 PM)Mr.GM Wrote:  Do you guys think that it is useful in America to participate in Yelp / Meetup groups ? Or I should focus on the Bar scene, meeting people from work etc.

I understand that my Brazilian regular game will not work very well in the U.S, and I'll need to adapt. It's going to be a big challenge.

You will miss your Brazilian girls very soon....I know I will.
I would try latinas or european girls close to NYC. They will understand better, what Brazil is all about. American girls, in general, will not have a clue.

Post: #10

^A co-worker at my last gig, moved to Toronto from Sau Paulo.

I asked him his opinion of Canadian girls, he replied they are very manly.

Dude was married but said he missed the Brazilian girls, a lot.

Post: #11

(11-26-2015 05:13 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  ^A co-worker at my last gig, moved to Toronto from Sau Paulo.

I asked him his opinion of Canadian girls, he replied they are very manly.

Dude was married but said he missed the Brazilian girls, a lot.

In certain countries you have to prepare and expect things, like a boxer. That is the best advice, I can give a man who is going to Canada or the US,, for the first time.

Post: #12

OP, I got your PM. I could give you a list of pros and cons, but if you're on this forum in the first place, my short answer is live in Hoboken. Period.

I debated Morristown vs. Hoboken for a long time before moving and while I don't regret my decision too much, if I had to do it over again I would 100% go with Hoboken. I was in Morristown for a year and lived right in the center on the "Green" as they call it. It was a very cool experience as I think Morristown is a unique and fun place to be. But, after six months you'll really be kicking yourself. Bite the bullet - take the longer commute to work from Hoboken. You'll be part of the "bridge and tunnel" crowd, but you'll have NYC at your fingertips. NYC from Morristown is doable, but a big hassle - trust me I went about twice a month for the year I lived there. Also, rent is very very high in Morristown. Think about $2,000 for a studio (I paid $1500 five years ago for a studio there).

Hoboken all the way. All your coworkers will know you as the cool guy who lives in Hoboken and has all the fun.

Side note: about the only thing I miss about Northern NJ is a place called Titillations. Please go there for me after you've moved. It's a gogo bar chock full of Russian 9s. On a popular night there would be about 10-15 of these smoke shows on the stage and about the same number of customers. Sit at the back tables where you can eat wings, watch a game, and not get bothered for tips while you admire the Russian dolls doing their thing. I'm not a gogo club kind of guy, but this place is special (or at least it was 5-6 years ago).

Post: #13

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Post: #14

Thanks guys, you gave me great advice. I'll look for places in Hoboken / Jersey City first, and leave Morristown as a 2nd option.

Post: #15

Glad to see you're back Mr. GM. OG playa.

Post: #16

The commute is extremely difficult by car with the closing of part of the pulaski skiway. (It was already hard) ...for girls though, easily new york city, especially if its possible to go by train...pm me of you have more questions. I know Northern NJ pretty well.

You like college chicks? Rutgers isnt too from morristown, but I dont know about there these days.

Post: #17

(11-26-2015 06:26 PM)Mr.GM Wrote:  Thanks guys, you gave me great advice. I'll look for places in Hoboken / Jersey City first, and leave Morristown as a 2nd option.

Hoboken is a better option than Jersey City. Hoboken will provide much better options for nightlife, Game and social circle.

Post: #18

(11-27-2015 11:06 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

(11-26-2015 06:26 PM)Mr.GM Wrote:  Thanks guys, you gave me great advice. I'll look for places in Hoboken / Jersey City first, and leave Morristown as a 2nd option.

Hoboken is a better option than Jersey City. Hoboken will provide much better options for nightlife, Game and social circle.

Yep. No question. Hoboken is your spot. Don't even think about NYC itself; you'll shoot yourself after a week of commuting. Only problem is getting home after a night out in NYC once the trains shut down as many cabbies aren't willing to cross the river or you'll have to pay up a bit. Jersey City has some nice condos, but that's about it as far as I remember. Of course do your own research though.

Post: #19

(11-27-2015 01:49 PM)presidentcarter Wrote:  

(11-27-2015 11:06 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

(11-26-2015 06:26 PM)Mr.GM Wrote:  Thanks guys, you gave me great advice. I'll look for places in Hoboken / Jersey City first, and leave Morristown as a 2nd option.

Hoboken is a better option than Jersey City. Hoboken will provide much better options for nightlife, Game and social circle.

Yep. No question. Hoboken is your spot. Don't even think about NYC itself; you'll shoot yourself after a week of commuting. Only problem is getting home after a night out in NYC once the trains shut down as many cabbies aren't willing to cross the river or you'll have to pay up a bit. Jersey City has some nice condos, but that's about it as far as I remember. Of course do your own research though.

Hoboken clearly fits your priority for nightlife over Jersey City. So you should set up there if in NJ... I'll just play devil's advocate. Hoboken is now a lot of stressed out young professionals. Jersey city is to some extent as well on the waterfront, but as a newbie your likely to encounter friendlier people in Jersey City, as well as some cute latinas.

Post: #20

You won't have time for yelp and so on. Your circle will grow fast and organically. People are interested in Brazilians and Brazilian culture and most will not confuse you with stereotypical illegals.

Live near your work and don't commute. This will buy you back the biggest time waster in America and you can always travel to NYC to hang out.

Bem-vindo!

Post: #21

As others have suggested, Morristown is nice, but is a pretty beat place to live if you are single. Hoboken and JC are superior, but which one you choose really depends on what your priorities and personality are. I'm born and raised in NJ and have lived in several locations in both cities for a combined 2 years. Feel free to PM me with any questions.

Also, I second that Newark is absolutely loaded with Portugese and Brazillians if you want to feel at home. There are some cool bars and sexy girls for sure. I can't chime in quite as much about Newark since I've only partied there a few times and I'm white as they come - but I'd say Newark, JC, Hoboken and maybe Elizabeth(?) would be great choices.

Post: #22

(11-27-2015 03:41 PM)godzilla Wrote:  

(11-27-2015 01:49 PM)presidentcarter Wrote:  

(11-27-2015 11:06 AM)Dantes Wrote:  

(11-26-2015 06:26 PM)Mr.GM Wrote:  Thanks guys, you gave me great advice. I'll look for places in Hoboken / Jersey City first, and leave Morristown as a 2nd option.

Hoboken is a better option than Jersey City. Hoboken will provide much better options for nightlife, Game and social circle.

Yep. No question. Hoboken is your spot. Don't even think about NYC itself; you'll shoot yourself after a week of commuting. Only problem is getting home after a night out in NYC once the trains shut down as many cabbies aren't willing to cross the river or you'll have to pay up a bit. Jersey City has some nice condos, but that's about it as far as I remember. Of course do your own research though.

Hoboken clearly fits your priority for nightlife over Jersey City. So you should set up there if in NJ... I'll just play devil's advocate. Hoboken is now a lot of stressed out young professionals. Jersey city is to some extent as well on the waterfront, but as a newbie your likely to encounter friendlier people in Jersey City, as well as some cute latinas.

I couldn't agree with this more. If you're only concerned about work, gym, and racking up mindless one night stands on Friday and Saturday, Hoboken is the clear choice. If you've done enough of this in your life, Jersey City is probably better. It has more of a hipster Brooklyn feel - friendlier, more interesting people and a more unique nightlife. And of course, NYC and its superior nightlife/solid RVF presence is just a 10 minute PATH ride from each of them.

Post: #23

Hey Mr GM, I lived in Hoboken last year (am currently in Manhattan) and sent an email to co-workers who were new to the area and wanted some logistical info on Hoboken. Here's the copy/pasted email:

"So a couple of you asked about housing in Hoboken, so here's a quick rundown.

I attached a rough map. In general, most people in Hoboken work in the city and take the path to work on weekdays.

The impression I have being here this past year, is that the vast majority of people fall into 2 categories:
1) recent grads who grew up in Jersey and moved back to the area to work in Manhattan or North Jersey.
2) Young families.

Hoboken is divided into 3 areas: uptown, midtown and downtown. Midtown is like 6th to 11th street; this area is kind of a dead zone in that there's not as much commercial development (bars, shops) and the crowd is more long term native Hoboken residents.

The next divide is distance from Washington St/Hudson/Path. The closer you get to each, the more you pay.

The areas that would be best for someone new to the area would be:

Uptown
this is area is more expensive because most of the buildings are newer with better amenities the crowd here is typically over 30 w/ small children
There is a river ferry that takes people to Midtown NYC and the World Trade center

D1
mostly single yuppie types. In the mornings they move en masse to the path - I hear there's a shuttles that goes up and down 1st street.

With a roommate, you'll probably end up paying around $1,350 depending on how close you are to Washington and whether or not you get designated parking. No clue what you'd pay for single

D2
A mix of single yuppies, young families and native Hoboken peoples
I live in this block (5th and Garden).

I don't know what the cost with a roommate is, but I pay $1,525 per month for a large basement studio in a brownstone.
this is probably the cheapest you'll find if you're planning on living on your own
The main reason why I lived here this year, is that I'm 2 short block from Washington street, so there's a ton of food and drink options when I get home and it's a 10 min walk to the path street parking here is a pain, but doable.

D3
the most expensive of the downtown areas given it's the best location.


Random thoughts

The flood line is Park ave
Hoboken slopes down and away from the Hudson
Hurricane Sandy ruined a bunch of ground floor business and apartments past Park Ave
the projects are at the back of Hoboken on Jackson street, but development has brought gentrified housing right up to it. "



   

Post: #24

In terms of Hoboken vs. Jersey City.

I think Hoboken wins hands down in terms of good looking girls. I mentioned above that people living in Hoboken already have somewhat established social circles from high school/college, which is a little annoying for a complete transplant. I don't personally use Tinder, but friends of mine do and it seems that Hoboken girls are all about it; the only problem is, these are really good-looking successful guys going for 6s...

About Jersey City, people living there love it, I've never really been a fan. I do like the vibe of the people better (more eclectic), but when I've gone out, the ratios have never been good (I've only gone out in JC like 5 times, so it may be unfair to make that generalization). Lastly, JC itself lacks character; the areas near the water front empty out at night (feels eerie) and a lot of the shops are jack in the box franchises.

Those are just some random thoughts; if you plan on only going out in NYC than it matters a lot less. A friend of mine has lived in Hoboken for a year and half and has yet to go out in JC or Hoboken (he strictly does concerts, raves, etc in the city).

PS - do NOT live in Newark. Unless you have a REALLY compelling reason, do not do it. After a night out, it's far from everything (~30min ride on the PATH) and you don't wanna be drunk driving.

PPS - if you have more specific questions just ask (I'm currently doing the reverse commute for work NYC --> NJ and can shed insight on that if you'd like.

Post: #25

Hey Guys,

in the end I've had to settle for a place in the smaller town in Northern NJ due to company policy restrictions related to my expat package. Had some months off in Switzerland to work but I've been living here for 3 weeks so far. Just got my apt.

For now, I've found it quite easy to drive to JC or Hoboken when I want to go out after work. I was used to traffic and big distances in Brazil so it does not feel so overwhelming to me. Got an EZ Pass as well what makes it easier to drive around.

Anyway, thanks again for the great info, that's what this community is all about. And please let me know if you guys are in the area, I would love to meet up and find some new friends here as well.

My job here is going to be 70% travel so I hope to start doing some datasheets again, since I'm back to the game (Single Again!!)