Post: #1

Something I've noticed a few times and just wondering what's happening:

I'll text a girl, and she'll respond like a day or even a week later. I reply and no more response. And I'm just sitting there, thinking 'why the fuck did you send me one text and stop responding'.

I can't tell if it's some sort of shit test where they're seeing how fast I respond back or if they're just bored (especially when they reply a week later).

Usually I let that shit die out on its own, but I'm genuinely curious: why do they even bother texting back if they're not interested?

Maybe I'm an idiot, but whenever I'm not interested in a girl, I make it very clear by explicitly telling them. Sometimes they're still text me (e.g. happy birthday Genghis Khan), I'll respond briefly to be polite. I even once asked a girl to let me know if she was interested, never responded and then I sent her a hail Mary 'happy thanksgiving x' text yesterday. She replied today 'sorry I've been so bad at texting back. Hoping you had a great thanksgiving back'. The weird thing is she never answered the question.

I find the open-endedness of it all annoying. I rather have girls say no and move on than have then respond super sporadically

Post: #2

Hi GK.

"Usually I let that shit die out on its own, but I'm genuinely curious: why do they even bother texting back if they're not interested? "

For validation or stroking their egos.

Post: #3

Are you unattractive? Did you make your intentions clear when you asked for their number?

Post: #4

(11-28-2015 02:52 AM)Genghis Khan Wrote:  Something I've noticed a few times and just wondering what's happening:

I'll text a girl, and she'll respond like a day or even a week later. I reply and no more response. And I'm just sitting there, thinking 'why the fuck did you send me one text and stop responding'.

I can't tell if it's some sort of shit test where they're seeing how fast I respond back or if they're just bored (especially when they reply a week later).

Usually I let that shit die out on its own, but I'm genuinely curious: why do they even bother texting back if they're not interested?

Maybe I'm an idiot, but whenever I'm not interested in a girl, I make it very clear by explicitly telling them. Sometimes they're still text me (e.g. happy birthday Genghis Khan), I'll respond briefly to be polite. I even once asked a girl to let me know if she was interested, never responded and then I sent her a hail Mary 'happy thanksgiving x' text yesterday. She replied today 'sorry I've been so bad at texting back. Hoping you had a great thanksgiving back'. The weird thing is she never answered the question.

I find the open-endedness of it all annoying. I rather have girls say no and move on than have then respond super sporadically

first the good news - you're not an idiot.
now the bad news - you will lose many prospects even BEFORE her first first reply, and MANY MORE after her first reply. there are tips to increase the ratio (a couple below, more in google) but no solution to completely solve this 'problem'.

1. don't text. srsly. if you can avoid it, avoid it. since you're asking about it - clearly it's not to your forte to have "text chats" with ladies.
2. when you have to, keep it brief. remember it is not a bonding experience just a minimal tool to reach the text milestone (seeing her in person).
3. when you reply, don't reply immediately - remember you're very busy and she is one of the many you *might* get together (if she's lucky and if all your stars align).
4. the one above is so fucking important I need to repeat. you're always busy, always doing something (and always a reasonably cool thing to do). when taking a dump & she texts you, tell her you're going shopping with X you might text her for a coffee later perhaps. the more doing things with females the better (women in abundance in your life) but keep it plausible and remember what you said to who when.
5. don't use great punctuation - you should save that for importang occasions (e.g. job applications).
6. use humour. if you don't have the gift of quality humour (by now you should know if you do or not) don't create. just imitate/copy. check the forums. worse than no humour is shitty humour. well applied humour (not clowning!) is like a 10 function bullet vibrator will get her anywhere anytime.
7. don't expect logical responses - "we had a nice chat, exchanged numbers, I texted her for the next step, she should text back, right?" "NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!". think of the object imaged above. expect your successful texting chances to be similar and avoid frustration.
8. don't make it a questionnaire - ask questions ONLY IF YOU MUST and don't put a question mark at the end
9. don't provide information easy and cheap. this is not a texting thing per se but text is usually a method of quick sniper style information extract for girls. "what are you doing?" "I'm doing/I'm at (insert-something-clearly-not-true)". she will ask again either immediately (or after a slight detour) don't fall for it. insert something new or tease her on interrogation technique or whatever. as always, treat carefully. when I was exploring this I did (sadly) blow up a few times. you don't want to appear an impossible to communicate man. play the fun/unexpected/extraordinary person. there's a difference. experience is your friend.
10. use mirroring and auto-calibration and get good at it. Here is a real example on mirroring: I don't discriminate and frequently text 18 to 40+. I don't send the same canned messages to a girl and the one after who could be her mother's age. having one solid inflexible style is a recipe for disaster. I have had carreer-type girl early twenties (early on) trying to appear so posh and over sophisticated (seeing I'm much older). she did use unusually proper grammer and logical sentence structure in her texts (for her age group) and I did the same with her otherwise she might eliminate you early on from her propespect list. I also had a 40+ single mom, again career girl type, an educator, she knew what is proper better than me but she also knew and ejoyed how to make fun of teen texting culture (her kids 17 and 14 I think) and she was sending crazy stuff all the time we texted. normally you'd expect formalish texts to 40-something and teenish texts to 20-something. as example above, it all DEPENDS. calibrate and mirror HER style. when you go back to text inbox and open the next girls' text (you will have many texts if you play the number game) quickly scan, obtain her style, and mirror.
    

Post: #5

3 more:

a. ALWAYS use "maybe", "perhaps" and similar words. don't be obvious and clear.

b. you said "Maybe I'm an idiot, but whenever I'm not interested in a girl, I make it very clear by explicitly telling them." don't do that. they're resources - utilize them. go to shopping with one of them next time rather than alone. go have a drink. she will help you simply by being a female and around you. you can eliminate the initial list as you upgrade quality but it is always good to have many prospects you can send a text and have em show up in the next hour for you - for whahtever you need.

c. you said: "She replied today 'sorry I've been so bad at texting back. Hoping you had a great thanksgiving back'. The weird thing is she never answered the question."
^^ of course not, she is using the tips above. about time you start doing the same lol

you could, for example, send her a new years message 3 days after the new year: "no worries, I know the feeling. had a good new year's party I hope" or something like that.
if you don't celebrate new year, use the next major public holiday or whatever. it can be done 8 months later. women don't have expiry date (well they do but shelf life is more than 12mo).

Post: #6

(11-28-2015 08:42 AM)Sonoma Wrote:  Are you unattractive? Did you make your intentions clear when you asked for their number?

To clarify, I'm texting girls I met through online dating stuff. I think the intention is definitely clear (it is a "dating" app). Am I unattractive...I definitely need to get better pictures, but the girls did match with me, so I'm assuming I'm not hideous.

Post: #7

(11-28-2015 09:30 AM)olive Wrote:  3 more:

a. ALWAYS use "maybe", "perhaps" and similar words. don't be obvious and clear.

b. you said "Maybe I'm an idiot, but whenever I'm not interested in a girl, I make it very clear by explicitly telling them." don't do that. they're resources - utilize them. go to shopping with one of them next time rather than alone. go have a drink. she will help you simply by being a female and around you. you can eliminate the initial list as you upgrade quality but it is always good to have many prospects you can send a text and have em show up in the next hour for you - for whahtever you need.

c. you said: "She replied today 'sorry I've been so bad at texting back. Hoping you had a great thanksgiving back'. The weird thing is she never answered the question."
^^ of course not, she is using the tips above. about time you start doing the same lol

you could, for example, send her a new years message 3 days after the new year: "no worries, I know the feeling. had a good new year's party I hope" or something like that.
if you don't celebrate new year, use the next major public holiday or whatever. it can be done 8 months later. women don't have expiry date (well they do but shelf life is more than 12mo).

thanks for the feedback, I definitely need to keep my texting to a minimum. It's a bit weird because with some girls I do click and things flow. Others, I think I just get a bit too over-invested and start messing up.

Post: #8

Do you assume yourself to be a perfect sphere in vacuum or a living breathing man in competition for that several inches of real estate between her ears and several between her legs with other living breathing men? Start from pics, she had nothing more to go on to give you any elbow room, so unless you're significantly better looking than average your sucky pictures will make you appear below average

Post: #9

(11-30-2015 12:37 AM)Genghis Khan Wrote:  To clarify, I'm texting girls I met through online dating stuff. I think the intention is definitely clear (it is a "dating" app). Am I unattractive...I definitely need to get better pictures, but the girls did match with me, so I'm assuming I'm not hideous.

This makes more sense now, and should have been noted in the OP.

Simply, she has no reason to continue texting you- she hasn't met you, and she's getting 7,000 messages per day, likely at least a few from guys with better pictures. She initially responds, perhaps out of 'politeness' or boredom or momentary interest, then moves on to respond to the next guy, completely forgetting you.

This is common with the online dating.

If you want to know how to run the online stuff, El Mechanico is your man. There are also dozens of threads dealing with this with great information.

Post: #10

(11-30-2015 12:43 AM)Virtus Wrote:  Do you assume yourself to be a perfect sphere in vacuum or a living breathing man in competition for that several inches of real estate between her ears and several between her legs with other living breathing men? Start from pics, she had nothing more to go on to give you any elbow room, so unless you're significantly better looking than average your sucky pictures will make you appear below average

Thanks for the criticism. Yes, I'm absolutely guilty of forgetting that these girls (especially the really attractive ones) are getting hit up by tons of other guys. I think I especially forget because we'll match, we'll have a brief conversation and they will give me their number (especially Thanksgiving girl, she gave me her number without me even asking). So I'm guilty of thinking "OK, I have this girl interested now", not realizing that other guys are probably hitting her up at the same time.

Post: #11

(11-28-2015 02:52 AM)Genghis Khan Wrote:  Usually I let that shit die out on its own, but I'm genuinely curious: why do they even bother texting back if they're not interested?

It's who they are, and it's not limited to the young ones or the hot ones.
They do it to each other.
They do it within business contexts.

There are situations I've seen where women don't text back family members in crisis, job offers, and other important situations.

You have to understand that these supposed great communicators aren't actually good at communicating. How they feel at the moment almost always dictates whether she replies promptly.

And if something requires making a decision, limiting her freedom, somehow making an effort - she's less likely to reply. Even when she initiated the contact.

Girl - "hey you"
Me - "Hey yourself"
Girl - "What are you doing later?"
Me - "watching netflix. DO YOU WANT TO HANG OUT"

................................

A chick could give me a hard no, she could come up with an excuse.
But she does nothing.

What I say now to chicks, "That's just who you are as a person. I don't hold it against you"

I don't care if it offends her.
I don't particularly care if I bang her or not, or bang her again.

The player move is to take whatever her response is to the truth, and extract some pussy out of it.

You don't always want to be a player.

WIA

Post: #12

online dating - nice. well, if it's dating originated (early period of texting) then better use specific tactics just for that case. find a master of this game and copy his time proven tactics for quick improvement. check blogs focusing on online dating (or search threads here maybe?).

in this context, you're likely to experience a very high dropouts - don't be discouraged by that. just go nuclear.
work it with an engineering approach. first decide how many new prospects you wish to take to next level (ie meeting in person). depends on your resources. say 3 a week. note the number.
next, do online texting it for a week (or a month depending on your level). take your average "initial message to date" percentage.
use your desired meetups per week number compared to your current ratio. that will give you roughly how many you need to be initiating.
this is a ballpark figure and will obviously change from week to week - season to season but it is better than no estimate at all.

in my experience I simply wanted to have more meetups and realized I needed to focus on this MUCH MORE. I changed my approach. consistently being around (on your phone) all the time (quick check in the morning and basic replies when rushing to work; same at first coffee break, same at lunch, ...., quick check before hitting the bed - you get the idea) gave insanely higher percentage then checking for 4 hours on a thursday night and checking back 2 days later.

to have great return, you need to invest great. either in quantity (early on) or quality (later on). it does feel like a job if you keep doing it a few weeks on end. you'll build up a correspondence list of people - varying stages in progress so it quickly gets motivational to carry on but it does take up a lot of energy.

I suggest you don't slow down as soon as you have a nice hit (one-it-is) simply because it takes time and energy to speed up the train from cold start.

one last tip, be smart - drop dead ends early on, don't invest time on any of the time waster types, including but not limited to: the so-confused-about-my-life type, religious/medieval batshit crazy type, no-reason-just batshit crazy type, i-am-so-cool-might-give-you-a-chance type, I'm ready for a family type (profile) etc. once you have a couple of good hits you will start drawing conclusions on what type works for you and what is the best timewasters lol

wish you safe and fun nuclear messaging reaction.

Post: #13

I see, I will say girls who use dating apps have literally 2857282910x new guys coming into their inbox. I'd maybe consider doing some slight follow up just trying for a quick meet up or interaction to get your foot in the door. Good job on even getting numbers though, I've had a million matches, very few numbers and even less bangs

Post: #14

They aren't interested NOW. Chics look at dudes situationally. Maybe if she's not pooping when she initially reads you're text, she'd have thought of a more interesting response. Or maybe if she wasn't snuggling with her boyfriend. Or maybe if she found out you're the next hottest local country music star, she'd respond.

Dude thinks: Would I fuck her? Would I date her?
Chic thinks: Am I horny?

Her decision is all about her. If she's not horny when she's around you or gets your text, it's not necessarily that you aren't attractive or she never wants anything to do with you or she loves you or hates you or anything.

Hell she might text you next week ready to go. Either way, don't expect to incite much horniness via text. If you do, it's probably her just playing.

Post: #15

I've had this a lot .. even from girls that have seemed super interested .. its just stops .. goes cold ..

If I wait a couple of weeks , what's a good restart message .. apart from the "up" re start text .

Might go for happy Christmas in 19 days or so ..haha

Post: #16

Thank you guys for some great advice and insights. I clearly don't fully understand the true nature of women, hopefully something I can learn quickly (through experience and some great stuff on RVF).

Post: #17

---
Good job on even getting numbers though, I've had a million matches, very few numbers and even less bangs
---
You need to invest a lot of time and try & maximize your investment.
Go to a relatively new site
Use multi platform bots
Use all available apps in dating scene

Having said that you'll mostly get a certain battle hardened type of off dating scene.
Going to a charity or dance class 2 hours yield better results for me.
Also use your English sign up for a language exchange site help Magdelana speak more fluently and she's gonna open up like a budding flower lol
It's numbers game she has how u doin msg from 2 million guys.
Maybe 200 language exchange messages. Go figure.
Furthermore it's a better profile trying to improve herself rather than find a dik
Less protection and screening mechanisms on.