Post: #1

This will probably be too long for some of you to even bother reading, however some of you might relate or feel you will be able to provide som guidelines and tips so big props for the ones of you who read thru it all. Also, my english is not my first language, so If you actually decide to read this long ass post, be patient.

Tonight I took a walk for 3 hours, listening to some random scientific podcast. I usually vary between science ones, joe rogan or the topic of personal development, Ive probably listened thru thousands of hours of podcasts by now, however, that doesnt matter, Ima try not to get drifted away too much in my own thoughts.

I walked alone, as usual, as Ive done the past 2 years now. Sometimes with a feeling of motivation in my body, sometimes with tears in my eyes thinking of my pathetic life.

I just had my 27th birthday, Im an unsuccessful man who feel like a boy, I currently live with my mom in my old boy-room. I have no drivers licence, I work by the hour hence my economy is very poor. My current social status is as low as it probably could be. I have no friends, not a single one. Ever since my dad passed away in cancer when I was 11 Ive felt like a feather blowing around in the wind, I dont know how to make up goals and follow steps to achieve them, I do not have a purpose in my life, I havent had sex for the past 4 years and I literally feel like a virgin again.

Growing up I was a popular kid whom had no problems making friends, I was extroverted and I enjoyed life alot - every day was a new adventure and I just loved the feeling of being alive and all the possibilites existing in this world. When I was 14 I got my first computer, 6 months later my first high speed broadband and then I started playing FPS games, mainly counter-strike.

As with most things up til now, I appeared to have talent for this game. Im no bragger by no means and Im not trying to come across as cooler than anyone, in fact this post just proves my current pathetic existence. However, I really had talent for most stuff when I was a kid. I was always at the top at school work, I had top grades, I excelled in sports and I was great at soccer, sprint, judo and land hockey. I had talent for almost every video game and my friends always wondered how the **** I was able to come out as the winner in most games. In other words: I felt like a winner, I behaved like a winner and I succeeded as a winner. I felt huge potential for my future and therefor, when noticing my talent for counter-strike, I put my heart and soul into it for some years to follow.

Going thru 7th grade, 8th grade and 9th grade, my time outside of school consisted of playing at my computer with my team-mates over the internet. On weekends I was at LAN parties with my IRL friends who I still had cause of the fact we met everyday due to school - I was still "popular" in the sense as having friends, even If girls had absolutely no interest at all in me - Mostly cause of my complete ignorance of my current style/looks, I just didnt give a damn, my only purpose was to excel in this game.

Time went on, I started traveled around the country with my counter-strike team which now consisted of some players who eventually proceeded to be recognized as the best in the world, making bank by playing games. We had a blast, It was by no doubt the absolute best time of my life, I felt GREAT friendship with my team, I was part of something, a group of guys striving for a common goal. We were very well played together, we liked eachother, we were highly skilled and with an extreme motivation. Even tho I still had no girls and hadnt yet even made out with one, I didnt give a ****, I had all that I needed and I loved it.

Eventually, unfortunately, 2 dropped out and got girlfriends, they decided they didnt wanna waste 10 hours a day playing, which was basicly a requirement at this very level. These people dropping out eventually lead to all of us splitting a part, one started doing drugs, another one moved to another country to go to university there, and me? Well I stayed here.

Now I was 19, last year in what is the comparison of americas "high-school", I assume. I still had IRL friends as I met them every weekly day in school. I had yet not even touched a girl, so I decided I should start going out to the club with people my age, consuming some alcohol and having fun.

So I did, after some weeks I met a girl, made out with her and after a while she came to take my virginity. We got together, I graduated high-school and moved to my own apartment - I had alot of money back then due to the money I got when my dad died, so I could afford it easily even tho I didnt have a job. I had a relationship with this girl for 2 years, from 19 to 21.5 - If the counter-strike years were the best time of my life, this time was definately at second place. (Yes, I know, counter-strike better than girlfriend???? Yep, my passion for that game and the comradship I felt with my team mates were so ******* great, nothing can beat it).

I developed alot during this relationship, I got more confidence in myself, I had regular sex and I felt loved, appreciated and wanted. I had NO problems talking to people, I felt good on a regular basis and my self esteem was great. However, due to extremely sitty job situations at the place I currently lived, I went from shit job to shit job, payed by the hour. Some times I was without work for months, and eventually my girlfriend lost her love for me and dumped me.

I was 21 years old, soon to be 22. I basicly had my twenties in front of me, what should I do now? The possibilites seemed endless.

I ended up joining a 2 year university program in computer-science, something I came to regret soon enough. During this time, I lost much contact with my friends from high-school, I made basicly no new friends at my university program and the first year I basicly isolated myself in my apartment, just going to classes and then home to surf the web. Around this time, I also developed an addiction to world of warcraft, something that totally killed my dedication to the studies and motivation what so ever.

2 years later, I hadnt got my exam, cause I basicly didnt complete many of the courses neccesary. Now I was 24, with no idea what to do with my life. I ended up going to another country, with very little pocket money and no idea how to proceed from there. I got a job in sales, but after about 2 months It was painfully obvious I didnt fit as a salesman at all, I stayed there for some more months searching for other jobs, but eventually I gave up and decided to move to my home-country again.

25 years old, back in the house I grew up, living with my mom. I had lost contact with the vaste majority of my old group of friends, I had underdeveloped social skills (relative to my age), I had very little money, no plan of action, no girls in sight and without any idea what the **** to do with my life.

Luckily enough, I had one hobby that took up alot of time, strenght-training. Ive been working out for nearly 8 years now, Ive been very strict with diet and my workout scheme, hence my body is very muscular and strong. However, It has very much been a lonely hobby. I just go to the gym, by myself, eat my protein meals and drink my protein shakes, by myself - I grow, by myself. But atleast, I do have a hobby, thats better than nothing, eh?

Time went on, eventually I landed a part time job, payed by the hour. The pay is pretty good, actually. However I dont get that many hours each month, so the pay-check is not good at all, nothing I can build a life with.

My life for the past 2 years have been this, with almost no exception at all: Wake up - If work, I go to work, then I come home, surf the web, go to the gym, get home, eat, surf, sleep. If I dont work, I wake up around 12, I surf for some hours, I go to the gym, then I go home, I surf more, then I sleep. Rince repeat, for the past 48 months.

My 2 last birthday, Ive been celebrated by my mother, my older sister and her kids, no one more. I havent received a phone-text from a friend since 2013. 99.99% of the people I talk to on facebook are people Ive got to known over the internet from the years of playing. I have no social circle, I havent attended a party in 3 years of time.

The new years eve 2014 I celebrated alone, in my room at my mothers house. 2013? the same. I have some friends from my high-school who still live at this very very small city Im located in at this very moment (where I live, in my mothers house), However I do feel like such a ******* failure at life, I dont wanna talk to them, I feel ashamed of myself living like a ******* loser at 27 years old.

My self esteem is low, I havent slept with a girl in years, I havent kissed a girl in years, I feel like a virgin again.

Im a very athletic muscular good looking guy, trapped in a losers mind. A kid who excelled at everything 12 years ago, who had aspirations and motivation - Now living like a talentless extremely unsuccessful friendless mega loser. I dont even know who I am anymore, Ive started to questioning my own intelligence, my ability to even be successful enough to live a normal good life. I mean, If I were intelligent, why the **** would I find myself in my current pathetic living situation? Maybe something just ******* wrong with my head, some genetic shit or whatever the ****, I dont know. Maybe Im just not suited for todays society, or maybe Ive just lost myself somewhere in the track going from child to adulthood.

My question, or one of my questions - Actually I dont even know where to begin, as I have so many questionmarks in my head Im about to expode is: Is it even possible for a guy this age to get up? Im 27 now, Im starting to feel Ive missed the train, I ****ed up the years of when a kid developes to an adult man, Ive wasted years playing games instead of learing how to build new connections, Ive wasted years endlessy surfing the shitty web when I could have been out meeting new girls, getting new sexual and social experiences. I havent even got a ******* drivers licence - I look at myself and I see a lazy, pathetic shit of human being.

What should I do? Where should I go? Which path should I take? What is my purpose? Where exactly do I start, HOW do I start? What do I want? - I dont know, but one thing is for sure: I dont wanna be where I am right now, sometimes deep inside I still feel that potential burning, only seconds later to be clouded by thoughts of my shit life.

What do I want from you? I dont know, a helping hand? Tips how to proceed? Guidlines, someone to listen, someone to relate, maybe someone to help me up from this dog shit of situation. I dont know man, Im just a ******* soon to be 30 year old loser with no career and no money, hurray!

Post: #2

Post: #3

One word.

Jelqing.

+1 for becoming the next Charles Dickens. I mean if you are helped enough you could be the mega sequel to that greenbelt guy that gets laid all the time in the Phillipines or wherever he went.

Just don't be like him and disappear and come back with one post of success and say fuck it thanks bye.

Post: #4

Sounds like you need to get on the TRT brah!

Post: #5

Man, I can't tell if this is trolling or things are just so bad out there and that is the reason we are getting so many of these types of threads.

Already washed up at 27?

Post: #6

Reading Thomas the Tank Engine always helped me in a rough patch.

Post: #7

Join the army.

Edit: I don't know if this is a troll post or serious, but I suspect you are sincere. In which case, you sound like a chap who has the tools, and the desire, but lacks the opportunity. A big, strong, fit guy will get on fine in the army, you will make great mates, and you will get your pride back. The army can take a lot from many people, but in your position it sounds like it would give far more than it demanded in return. Good luck

Post: #8

(12-14-2015 05:56 PM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  Man, I can't tell if this is trolling or things are just so bad out there and that is the reason we are getting so many of these types of threads.

I think it is getting that bad.

The job market is getting pretty competitive, if you don't leap off into a good position right after college or grad school you can get left behind real fast. At least in the mind of someone who only wants to work a college degree white collar type job which is 95%+.

Post: #9

I will hope for the moment that the OP is not a troll or false-flagger.

Start with the overall commitment to improve yourself. You've identified your weaknesses, so time to get to work addressing them. This is the most important thing.

Start with small goals. Like how you would progress if you could only do 6 pushups or so. Your original goal should be to increase that count by one. Then another. Then another. Go slow. Incremental progress matters.

All is not lost at 27. Far from it. At 27 I was obese and had very little going for me. Things can get better.

Post: #10

This guy knows the answer first off video games and surfing the internet are banned.

All that time is to be spent walking out in the city center and parks - any more time you can take the train or bus to more exciting cities with better opportunities.

Be uncomfortable! You have had more than a few life times worth of harmful comfort.

Post: #11

(12-14-2015 05:56 PM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  Man, I can't tell if this is trolling or things are just so bad out there and that is the reason we are getting so many of these types of threads.

Already washed up at 27?

No troll at all. Im nearing my 30s, I have no friends and no career. I feel so alone, I would not wish this feeling for the worst of my enemy. I literally have no one to speak to, I havent received a text message from other than family in over a year.

Im literally rotting away, the times flies by and I do not know where to turn or what to do.

Post: #12

You need to find a purpose. Set a goal that you are passionate about and pursue it. Surely there's something you want to achieve, something that will give you a sense of accomplishment?

And no, I'm gonna have to say don't join the army. It's a complete clusterfuck at the moment and will take years to recover, even if we get a CinC who wants a fighting force instead of a laboratory for social justice experiments.

Dealing with the isolation is another matter. Do you have hobbies? Join a group, meet people, and for the love of God keep your mouth shut about depressing shit so you don't drive people away. If you're in a decent size city, I'm sure there's tons of shit to do. Just gotta step out of your comfort zone and find it.

Post: #13

If you don't want to join the military, book a plain ticket to Columbia or the Philippines. You may never come back.

Search out Cleanslates' story and LINUX's Columbia thread. You have come to the right place my friend.

EDIT: I reread your post and agree with Scotian and Merenguero. I'd put off the travel for awhile.

Post: #14

(12-14-2015 06:09 PM)weambulance Wrote:  You need to find a purpose. Set a goal that you are passionate about and pursue it. Surely there's something you want to achieve, something that will give you a sense of accomplishment?

And no, I'm gonna have to say don't join the army. It's a complete clusterfuck at the moment and will take years to recover, even if we get a CinC who wants a fighting force instead of a laboratory for social justice experiments.

Dealing with the isolation is another matter. Do you have hobbies? Join a group, meet people, and for the love of God keep your mouth shut about depressing shit so you don't drive people away. If you're in a decent size city, I'm sure there's tons of shit to do. Just gotta step out of your comfort zone and find it.

Well, I actually went and did the SAT-test a while ago (or rather, the Scandinavian version of it), somehow I got a good result without much preparing making me able to join university the coming year, 4 year major as a sea captain.

So most likely I will go that route, as Ive always liked ships and the sea.

Keep in mind, I would assume university here isnt the same as the college in US, If I had understood it correctly, there are mostly teenagers and early twenties people at college in US. In scandinavia, It is very common for people to re-think their career nearling their 30s, resulting in tons of people around 25-35 in our universities, so hopefully I will find new friends there and maybe get a new shot of meeting girls and attending parties.

Post: #15

(12-14-2015 06:05 PM)Rontgennurz Wrote:  

(12-14-2015 05:56 PM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  Man, I can't tell if this is trolling or things are just so bad out there and that is the reason we are getting so many of these types of threads.

Already washed up at 27?

No troll at all. Im nearing my 30s, I have no friends and no career. I feel so alone, I would not wish this feeling for the worst of my enemy. I literally have no one to speak to, I havent received a text message from other than family in over a year.

Im literally rotting away, the times flies by and I do not know where to turn or what to do.

The advantage to not having a career and still being on the lower side of 30 is that you still have solid freedom to do whatever you want. You have no golden handcuffs.

I'd use your current time to continue to self-improve, hit up the gym, get out and meet people whatever way you can, you've got a non-structured schedule now and flexibility of youth on your side. Take advantage of it.

During downtime, use that web surfing time to start soul searching, researching and brainstorming what you can do with your life. Start saving up some cash if you haven't already and prepare for a big change in your life, going back to school, relocating, starting into a career.

Post: #16

(12-14-2015 06:12 PM)MiscBrah Wrote:  If you don't want to join the military, book a plain ticket to Columbia or the Philippines. You may never come back.

Search out Cleanslates' story and LINUX's Columbia thread. You have come to the right place my friend.

I don't think that this is good advice, first of all, the guy claims that he is broke so buying a ticket will be an issue. Secondly, traveling to a third world shit hole, even a "poosy paradise" won't solve this guys' problems. And lastly, I'm sure that Clean Slate and Linux's had their lives sorted out before traveling to the Philippines and Colombia, OP needs to sort himself out first before considering third world travel.

Post: #17

Hopefully your post is sincere.

First thing you need to do is take responsibility and admit that the majority of your failures are due to your own behavior. Yes, luck and fate play roles in life, but for the most part it's on you. Accept that and put your faith in yourself and your determination.

Secondly, you need to realize that one year, one month, one week, or even one hour can change everything. I mean that in the literal sense, all it takes it that one chance event, that small thing that changes the momentum in your favor.

It has happened to me every single time without fail, the secret is you have to work. I've been in some pretty dark places where I felt I'd never get out.

I highly suggest you spend a lot of time reading the lifestyle forums. Then, I suggest you start learning a martial art or start weight lifting heavily. Not only will this build confidence, but you'll make some friends.

The most important thing it will do is build your resolve until it is unshakable. When things get hard you'll remember that your current circumstances can't be as bad as the time the guy got full mount and started wailing on your face.

I'll leave you with this quote from Rickson Gracie.

"Where there's discomfort, there's fear. In these very tough positions, you're in a little piece of hell. And through this daily suffering, you learn to survive in these situations. You have to find comfort in uncomfortable situations. You have to be able to live in your worst nightmare. Jiu-jitsu puts you completely in the moment where you must have complete focus on finding a solution to the problem. This trains the mind to build that focus, to increase your awareness, your capacity to solve problems. Sometimes, you don't have to win. You cannot win. But that has nothing to do with losing."

Post: #18

(12-14-2015 06:20 PM)scotian Wrote:  

(12-14-2015 06:12 PM)MiscBrah Wrote:  If you don't want to join the military, book a plain ticket to Columbia or the Philippines. You may never come back.

Search out Cleanslates' story and LINUX's Columbia thread. You have come to the right place my friend.

I don't think that this is good advice, first of all, the guy claims that he is broke so buying a ticket will be an issue. Secondly, traveling to a third world shit hole, even a "poosy paradise" won't solve this guys' problems. And lastly, I'm sure that Clean Slate and Linux's had their lives sorted out before traveling to the Philippines and Colombia, OP needs to sort himself out first before considering third world travel.

Yeah, I'm hearing these stories about these guys who can't afford a ticket to South East Asia and who struggle with girls in the United States or wherever, going to the Dominican Republic and wondering why they don't do as well as Fisto apparently did there.

Post: #19

(12-14-2015 06:34 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

(12-14-2015 06:20 PM)scotian Wrote:  

(12-14-2015 06:12 PM)MiscBrah Wrote:  If you don't want to join the military, book a plain ticket to Columbia or the Philippines. You may never come back.

Search out Cleanslates' story and LINUX's Columbia thread. You have come to the right place my friend.

I don't think that this is good advice, first of all, the guy claims that he is broke so buying a ticket will be an issue. Secondly, traveling to a third world shit hole, even a "poosy paradise" won't solve this guys' problems. And lastly, I'm sure that Clean Slate and Linux's had their lives sorted out before traveling to the Philippines and Colombia, OP needs to sort himself out first before considering third world travel.

Yeah, I'm hearing these stories about these guys who can't afford a ticket to South East Asia and who struggle with girls in the United States or wherever, going to the Dominican Republic and wondering why they don't do as well as Fisto apparently did there.

Traveling and chasing pussy is all great fun and all but its not a panacea to people's personal issues. Also, holding yourself up to the standards of guys like linux and Fisto is basically setting yourself up for failure.

Post: #20

This reads like a troll to me.

Responding in good faith:
Get a better job. It took me years to get the job I wanted. That's how it is these days, either you know people and get the golden ticket or bust your ass twice as hard as anyone else until you make it.
Move out of your parents house.
Find a social niche. Talk to people at the gym, at work, or take up a new hobby with a Meetup group.

Post: #21

(12-14-2015 06:39 PM)scotian Wrote:  

(12-14-2015 06:34 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

(12-14-2015 06:20 PM)scotian Wrote:  

(12-14-2015 06:12 PM)MiscBrah Wrote:  If you don't want to join the military, book a plain ticket to Columbia or the Philippines. You may never come back.

Search out Cleanslates' story and LINUX's Columbia thread. You have come to the right place my friend.

I don't think that this is good advice, first of all, the guy claims that he is broke so buying a ticket will be an issue. Secondly, traveling to a third world shit hole, even a "poosy paradise" won't solve this guys' problems. And lastly, I'm sure that Clean Slate and Linux's had their lives sorted out before traveling to the Philippines and Colombia, OP needs to sort himself out first before considering third world travel.

Yeah, I'm hearing these stories about these guys who can't afford a ticket to South East Asia and who struggle with girls in the United States or wherever, going to the Dominican Republic and wondering why they don't do as well as Fisto apparently did there.

Traveling and chasing pussy is all great fun and all but its not a panacea to people's personal issues. Also, holding yourself up to the standards of guys like linux and Fisto is basically setting yourself up for failure.

This is a bit off-topic, but one thing I will add is that a few days ago, LINUX stated in a post that he gets shut down all the time. That was the first I ever heard him or anyone else mention him ever being rejected ever and leads me to believe that he approaches quite a bit. I think guys need to understand that as well. It wasn't made at all clear until that recent post.

Post: #22

Quote:I was extroverted and I enjoyed life alot - every day was a new adventure and I just loved the feeling of being alive and all the possibilites existing in this world.

What do you mean by 'was'?

If you were extroverted you probably still are. You are probably just understimulated. Particularly extroverts need things to happen around them.

It's good that you are starting university in half year if I understood you correctly (your post needs a TL;DR btw). Until then, go to a new place and make some money. Find a job in Norway or wherever you can. In Norway for some jobs they might even offer you accommodation so you just have to travel there.

Failing that, what could you do until you start university. Just sitting at home doesn't sound like a plan.

Post: #23

Why are you sleeping so late, until 12?

Have you tried Tinder or another type of internet dating?

Post: #24

Quote:ended up joining a 2 year university program in computer-science, something I came to regret soon enough. During this time, I lost much contact with my friends from high-school, I made basicly no new friends at my university program and the first year I basicly isolated myself in my apartment, just going to classes and then home to surf the web. Around this time, I also developed an addiction to world of warcraft, something that totally killed my dedication to the studies and motivation what so ever.

Why did you isolate yourself?

Post: #25

that was the beauty of the oilfield. no matter how down and out (or stupid) you were, there was always a decent paying job in that sector to fall back on.

But 27 is very young. I know people who are 42 going back to school to be a nurse or whatever. you still have many prime years ahead of you, don't act like all is lost.

edit: reading it again I suspect this is a troll.