Post: #1

Hello to everybody

This is my first sign up and post in the forum although i have read the forum as a guest few years ago. This is both a wake-up call and admitting to the game for me. Why? I used to believe that getting a girl is all about treating her well and loving her good. But after constant failure in relationship has waken me up that what i believe in isn't working.

I have respect for the guys here, not as gamers or such but i see you guys as people who have realized the truth to women and the dating game. To how the game should be managed from the side of us guys.

Currently i have an ongoing relationship with a woman that's pretty much ending. Well it all started out well. But i guess i have given in and put her on a pedestal too soon (or rather i shouldn't have ever). No we haven't gotten to the bed yet and i started committing the worst mistake ever: being the nice guy. She begun to distance herself away from me and saying i'm too boring. I believe i have dropped into the much dreaded friend zone. She says i'm nice and everything but she only sees me as a friend or rather a sibling.

Well she still plays nice once in a while. Asking me how i'm doing and stuff and occasionally checks in on me when i went quiet. There are even times when she still dropped hint as if she still hasn't got over me. But once i replied with enthusiasm she starts distancing herself away from me. On my defense i am just being normal and not playing any games. I like her and i would do anything for her. So it's natural i would want to seem like i would always be there and reliable for her. But now i know this could probably be my worst mistake still.

I have much accepted the fact that this is over. But like any other guy (i believe) i couldn't take this laying around i wouldn't want to look back in future and knowing i am responsible for all of this. I hope i would be able to look back knowing i have won the game instead of feeling like an idiot.

So i'll be glad if the seniors can spare me some advice how can i turn the table around? Should i totally walk away and forget about this or is there something i could do?

Post: #2

We don't know this girl. To judge the situation properly, you should give some more details

But to be honest: I don't think its necessary. It sounds as if she is using you. It sounds as if she is already fucking another guy. Don't let her play with your mind. Walk away.

Go to the gym if you don't. Eat/live healthy, change/upgrade your style if necessary.
Try to become the best man you can be.
And forget about this chick.
There are others. Lots of them.

Get a copy of Roosh's "Bang".
Search forum for "abundance mentality".

Have fun and enjoy your life.
It's the only one you have.

Post: #3

(12-24-2015 05:53 PM)DonColero Wrote:  Currently i have an ongoing relationship with a woman that's pretty much ending.

There was no relationship, at least on a romantic level, to begin with because...

(12-24-2015 05:53 PM)DonColero Wrote:  No we haven't gotten to the bed yet

(12-24-2015 05:53 PM)DonColero Wrote:  I guess i have given in and put her on a pedestal too soon (or rather i shouldn't have ever).

You seem to have identified the main factor here, well done.

(12-24-2015 05:53 PM)DonColero Wrote:  There are even times when she still dropped hint as if she still hasn't got over me.

She misses the attention, but she doesn't miss you per se.

(12-24-2015 05:53 PM)DonColero Wrote:  But once i replied with enthusiasm she starts distancing herself away from me.

You're probably coming off as needy, and/or your interactions with her are more like she would experience with a female friend. That does not get her wet in any way shape or form.

(12-24-2015 05:53 PM)DonColero Wrote:  So i'll be glad if the seniors can spare me some advice how can i turn the table around? Should i totally walk away and forget about this or is there something i could do?

You're displaying what is commonly known here as "Oneitis".

You should start approaching (and fucking) other girls and forget about this one. Maybe after a good amount of time and improvement in your game you re-engage (even then, I would not hold out hope), but the current state of play suggests that she is a lost cause.

And I'm also curious - is Silver membership now a standard requirement when signing up these days?

Post: #4

Stop talking to her.

Next time she ask you where you've been, tell her you're a different man now and you've been living a more dynamic and sexual life.

She may just feel like she's missing out or at least respect you more.

Otherwise, not much you can do.

Post: #5

Great advice from the team already.

Cut all contact with her, only respond briefly and with minimum interest.

You might turn this around with aloof and arrogant game....

Post: #6

LINUX said it best with regards to specific responses.

However one thing nagged me about your post.

Quote: Why? I used to believe that getting a girl is all about treating her well and loving her good. But after constant failure in relationship has waken me up that what i believe in isn't working.

I think treating certain women well is okay and I wasn't sure what you meant by "loving her good," whether that's physical or material (as a provider). Physical is fine but material "love" should only be provided if she earns it.

Reason I bring this up is that when newbies get into game and/or out of a relationship, they read posts on the forum about being aloof and showing an "uncaring" attitude. Unfortunately, this does not work well if your self confidence (aka "inner game) is not solid.

What I'm saying is that it's okay to project yourself as a high value man without worrying too much about being nice. My personality is of a nice guy but I am learning every day how to be more and more assertive without being aggressive, since the latter doesn't fit my personality.

It's best to approach more girls and see how you need to adjust behavior.

Post: #7

Here is another pointer if you want her to at least respect you - and then bed her.Exploit her insecurities and weaknesses. But do it in a gentle way -- you want to show her you are her superior. All girls especially have tons of insecurities. Make her aware that you are aware of her insecure issues. She will be sucking your dick in no time.

I only recommend this with American or westernised girls. With most other girls through out the world being genuine and nice is what works -- but with American girls being nice makes them feel like they are your superior.

Post: #8

Break off contact - an ex where you had a good relationship that fizzled out might be worth keeping in touch with for politeness' sake (esp if you have overlapping social circles). This situation? No reason to keep talking to this gal. Just stop initiating or responding, fill that time with meeting and hanging out with new women.

Post: #9

(12-25-2015 05:42 PM)tanner Wrote:  with American girls being nice makes them feel like they are your superior.

It's amazing how much American female behavior seems centered around spitefulness.

Post: #10

It sounds like your speed is completely off. Like others have said, there was no relationship to begin with. If you're in the US like your profile says, it's not exactly a land of 'wait-until-marriage virgins'. You should be aiming to bang on the first date. Calibrate from there.

Your have described your attitude towards women as one of wanting to treat them well, love them, and always be there for them. That is simply not the correct attitude towards a women you are courting. That is a premature fantasy. Until you are intimate, you should put that fantasy aside, and accept that you are in the 'demonstration' stage. She hasn't accepted your offer of yourself as her partner -- and hence you possess nothing to love, treat well, or treasure.

Also don't pretend that a women is even capable of such a relationship, especially in somewhere like America, unless her behaviour evidences it. If a chick is actually into getting pumped-and-dumped, but you decide to project your ideal of a housewife on her, you're setting yourself up for an unpleasant awakening.