Post: #1

How many of you get pretty good with game, and for some reason or another you fall back into your old shitty tendencies?

I used to be a lot more adventurous, had more of a drive, was more competitive, and had other good traits that girls like in a man, but for whatever reason I've lost all that. I've become lazy, and can't push myself to get a girl to sleep with me anymore. I've noticed I'm becoming needier, feeling one-itis again, and everything that is basically anti-game.

I wonder if it has to do with relying on online game? I feel like online game has made me a lazy fuck.

Anyway, I was wondering what tips you guys could give for someone who realizes he has redeveloped certain bad traits, but mainly how do you break yourself out of this mess?

It's like I know something is wrong, but I'm stuck so deep in the funk that I can't figure out for myself how to get out of it!

Last night I had a date with two hot europeans who came over to my place and I just couldn't pull myself together. Today I had a date with a beautiful blonde (met online) and when we met in person I just slipped into being a friend.

It's all my doing too. I see it happening, but I've forgotten how to take charge!

I keep looking at these girls as friends and not as potential fucks. How do you get the Drive? The Urge? The feeling of necessity? Of wanting to fuck the shit out of the girl?

Post: #2

Kerouac,

How long you've been like this? Couldn't it be just a phase and you are over analysing it?

Post: #3

dear Kerouac,

what are u describing is a form of ONE-ITIS....the rule no # 1 before coming into game is never fall into the trap of this.

but we all do fall...the only solution of this is to game more and more and more girls...'the urge' u are talking about is come from neediness...and when neediness dies...the urge vanishes.

if you get that urge..think she is not a queen...she also shit.

Post: #4

Progression isn't constant. Think of evolution as progress mixed with plateaus and setbacks, but in the long run the tendency is upwards/growth. At least this is what I'm telling myself. You can't go from doing 0 situps to 100 without fallling behind and starting over every now and again. Every time you fall behind, you are still probably better off than when you first started out.

Post: #5

Solo has it right.

I commented on a somewhat similar situation a while ago as well.

You can't force yourself out of the low tide, you must be patient. The "urge" can't be forced, you must allow it to happen.

Our friend Riker has been having some issues, and what I wrote to him might be applied to you. Take a look.

Post: #6

Just work out bro. It's the cure all.

Post: #7

Looking back on those two dates, one thing that sticks out is that I just felt like I shouldn't show my sexuality/desire. I just recently met up with an old friend (girl) who told me she remembers me being a lot more horny. I think psychologically it's important to realize that girls like knowing you're a horny guy. For some reason I got the idea in my mind that I shouldn't be so overt with my sexuality, but I guess being more "neutral" it has just worked against me.

With these last few dates, I was very good at setting up dates, but I was terrible with my execution. I didn't get physical at all (again, for some reason I've become more afraid of showing my sexuality), and I was waiting too long to get a strong sign from both of them. I should have realized that by them coming out to meet up with me that is already a strong statement of interest.

What I should have done is pumped up the kino, and taken more charge in general. I guess my post yesterday I was stuck in a weird funk where the feeling of failure tookover the logical/rational part of my brain, so I couldn't see what I was doing wrong and what I should have done differently.

I'm gonna write up a notecard soon that I can keep in my wallet, and I'll post it up here, and hopefully you guys can chime in on certain quick thoughts (like one/two word thoughts like, Kino, Venue Change) etc that we can keep on ourselves when we're getting back into the game.

Post: #8

Kerouac,

I wouldn't worry to much about it. We all go thru this sometimes. Just focus on yourself and your own Inner Game. Do things that increase your confidence, do things that reduce your fear, do things that make you feel good about yourself. Have fun and do whatever it is that your motivated to do. Maybe focus on your career, or start working out like crazy, or take on some project around the house, or get yourself organized, or just rest and relax.

Your drive will return. Sometimes you just gotta focus on other stuff for a while. Chasing girls all the time is not for everybody. I'm sure you have other passions that you can enjoy in the meantime.

When I need a break from the Game, I hit the weights hard, search for new music, and spend time with friends and family that I haven't seen in a while. I just forget about girls for a week or 2.

Soon you will see a sexy young honey and all your manly desires will return.

Don't overthink it. Use this time to improve yourself and get ready to come back stronger then ever.

I recommend trying something new, something scary, and something that forces you to deal with whatever insecurities you might have.

Post: #9

Im hitting a spot like this myself. I found game and after a month I had my first new notch, but I made the mistake of going for an LTR with this girl. After that, financially Ive been in a hardspot and not able to go out as often.

For me I've just been focusing more on improving my self. I've been hitting the gym, reading, running, doing anything to make myself better, that way when I get out of the slump I'm that much more dangerous.

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #10

(07-04-2011 01:15 PM)kerouac Wrote:  Looking back on those two dates, one thing that sticks out is that I just felt like I shouldn't show my sexuality/desire. I just recently met up with an old friend (girl) who told me she remembers me being a lot more horny. I think psychologically it's important to realize that girls like knowing you're a horny guy. For some reason I got the idea in my mind that I shouldn't be so overt with my sexuality, but I guess being more "neutral" it has just worked against me.

@kerouac: My take is that (1) online dating has made you sloppier and lazier. The ridiculous things you have to put up with and do in front of a computer screen often run contrary to the infallible-state philosophies of air-tight game. Just like your posture suffers when you spend hours slouched at a computer desk with no exercise, you inner-game takes a hit too. I'd go back to analog game. Pound the pavement to re-seal the leaks in your game; (2) you might have a dip in testosterone. Short-term fluctuations in your hormonal make-up seem to be pretty normal, and you might be a little low right now. Pound the weights and challenge your friends to feats of strength (I'm not kidding), like arm-wrestling or racing. Do a lot of manual work around the house. You need to re-calibrate you manliness needle.

Speaking about myself for a second, I can't say that I find myself slipping in betaness, but I do sometimes catch myself falling into my own set old habits. To a fault, I like hunting for odd girls that I believe "defy the general rules" we know about women: not intellectually curious, vapid, unfunny etc. I'm convinced that I have a keen sense for finding the rare exceptions, and--with the deepest humility--my game with smart, cool girls is kind of top-shelf. So when I do find a rare bird, I catch myself pulling out of the game for longer than I should be.

The way I see it, a cool girl is worth a little extra time, but not as much as I tend to give up. I just get lazy with some good pussy and decent company, and stay around long after I become disillusioned again, realizing again that all women are the same.

Post: #11

(07-04-2011 02:19 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

(07-04-2011 01:15 PM)kerouac Wrote:  Looking back on those two dates, one thing that sticks out is that I just felt like I shouldn't show my sexuality/desire. I just recently met up with an old friend (girl) who told me she remembers me being a lot more horny. I think psychologically it's important to realize that girls like knowing you're a horny guy. For some reason I got the idea in my mind that I shouldn't be so overt with my sexuality, but I guess being more "neutral" it has just worked against me.

@kerouac: My take is that (1) online dating has made you sloppier and lazier. The ridiculous things you have to put up with and do in front of a computer screen often run contrary to the infallible-state philosophies of air-tight game. Just like your posture suffers when you spend hours slouched at a computer desk with no exercise, you inner-game takes a hit too. I'd go back to analog game. Pound the pavement to re-seal the leaks in your game; (2) you might have a dip in testosterone. Short-term fluctuations in your hormonal make-up seem to be pretty normal, and you might be a little low right now. Pound the weights and challenge your friends to feats of strength (I'm not kidding), like arm-wrestling or racing. Do a lot of manual work around the house. You need to re-calibrate you manliness needle.

Speaking about myself for a second, I can't say that I find myself slipping in betaness, but I do sometimes catch myself falling into my own set old habits. To a fault, I like hunting for odd girls that I believe "defy the general rules" we know about women: not intellectually curious, vapid, unfunny etc. I'm convinced that I have a keen sense for finding the rare exceptions, and--with the deepest humility--my game with smart, cool girls is kind of top-shelf. So when I do find a rare bird, I catch myself pulling out of the game for longer than I should be.

The way I see it, a cool girl is worth a little extra time, but not as much as I tend to give up. I just get lazy with some good pussy and decent company, and stay around long after I become disillusioned again, realizing again that all women are the same.

I agree with Tuthmosis. I think online game has been detrimental to your overall game, damaging your focus: it is diluting your hornyness, scattering your drive in different directions, draining you of the fun aspect of the game. In other words, it sounds like you are gaming because you have to rather than because you want to.

How to recharge your batteries?
As many people already suggested take a step back, get busy doing other things. Your drive will return after a pause..

Back in the days I experienced something similar to the funk you are describing. For me the prime cause was that I burned myself out. I used to go out too often in a somewhat fanatic attempt to improve my game. I kept repeating myself "Go out solo, do not stay home, get out of your comfort zone no matter what!". Do not misunderstand me, I still stand by that motto, but I just overplayed it.

Going out 5 nights/week when you arent channeling your energies into the game, but are rather just wandering around in zombie-mode with no real focus, depletes the game of its essential traits: fun. Therefore soon enough you lose any stimulus to go out.

Thin is the line between pushing yourself to improve your game and burning yourself out. Recognize that. Take a step back. I stopped going out for a couple of weeks. I got busy doing other things. 2 weeks later I restarted going out, but just 1/week. I immediately noticed that on that single night a week I was on fire - in the zone, full of energies and focus. At my best. The game was fun again. Right after my drive returned and I was back to being my old self: 5 night/week. The slump was forgotten.

Post: #12

(07-03-2011 09:06 PM)kerouac Wrote:  I wonder if it has to do with relying on online game? I feel like online game has made me a lazy fuck.

Roosh has suggested this in one of his blog posts, and/or his book.


Anyhow, I use my friends that I think of as beta to stay focused. I look and think, "Wow, is he really putting up with that much shit from his gf/wife?" Makes it easy to avoid dipping into that.

The only time I "act beta" is when I do so intentionally. This has mainly happened when I wing for someone, as if I don't crank it down a notch, the girl's interest often shifts to me, pissing off my friends. I've been getting better with that though, except when I drink... then I can't help myself or what I say to any girl!

Post: #13

When you find yourself "falling back to beta" just remind yourself you're not the idiot who generously donated his sperm to a woman who was his friend and co-worker, only to have said woman later take him to a court, and a liberal judge find him liable for child support.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/na...erm01.html

Post: #14

I just deleted my account to see how things go from here. Although I think online dating is another way of finding dates, I just don't think it's the ideal way of finding dates.

Looking back on it, the types of girls I dated and hooked up with were not the types of girls I would go after normally, although they weren't bad. Online gaming provided a different "strain" of girl that I probably wouldn't encounter really, because I think online dating, especially free online dating, seems to attract all types of girls, and what that essentially means is that you will encounter girls outside of your typical "point of reference." So you might meet a lot of decent looking girls, they just might come from a different frame of mind than you.

I'm going to see how much better it is not having online gaming as a fall back plan. It's too easy to log in and chat with a bunch of different girls, yet the "approach" is cheap in online dating. There's no loss, and since there is no real loss, you won't feel challenged. Furthermore, when you do work to get dates, I feel, or at least in my experience, you have to deal with a lot more shit than you would deal with if you were meeting the girl elsewhere. Yet, I put up with it because it's easy, and I might be laying on my bed in my underwear, a situation that wouldn't get me anywhere in any other situation!

Overall, I think for someone who believes in living a better life, online gaming pulls you back! A good life involves challenges, and pushing forth through difficult situations, whatever they may be, to better situations! Online dating does nothing to further your situation! All the gain is short term. You might hook up here and there, but you're not moving anywhere in life.

In regular pick-up, your results correspond with your attitude towards life. If you're living a life you like, you will get good results. Online, you can play a part, and get results, but your life remains stagnant. Which is why, overall, I think online dating is an overall detriment, which is why I deleted my account. Let's see where it goes from here!

Post: #15

(07-04-2011 01:15 PM)kerouac Wrote:  Looking back on those two dates, one thing that sticks out is that I just felt like I shouldn't show my sexuality/desire.

So? Maybe they didn't inspire you enough to bring that out. Sounds like they were both sitting on their ass and expecting you to entertain them. It wasn't a mutual tango, so you stopped the dance.

Sometimes the woman is boring. Sometimes there just isn't any spark. Maybe you just weren't that into either of them. They were putting in so little effort you found yourself bored with them.

Sometimes the new woman is too much like the last woman.

Sometimes a man's taste in women changes. What really attracted him before, now is boring. And he has to figure out what his own attraction buttons are all over again.

And sometimes a man just needs a clearing of the palette to reset his tastes back. An older woman, past menopause, usually does the trick. Pick a woman below your status so much, she gives you the entire "comfort and cuddle" treatment. Buys you dinner. Pays for everything. Extra points if like George Peppard in Breakfast at Tiffany's she sets you up in an apartment and buys you suits. And after a few weeks you wake up, play Elton John's "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road", and find you got your groove back.

Or just go ugly. Think of yourself in Dog Show and your goal is to bang the ugliest woman that public health allows. Or cripple. Go out and bang a girl in a wheelchair basketball league. You'll be the guy she talks about in awe for the rest of her life. Think of these pity-fucks as larger than the woman; you're sending positive energy out into the universe and seeing if any of it comes back.

You need to mix it up and get out of your self-selection rut of same-same girls. There's a vast palette of women out there, most of them unsampled. Time to explore some new flavors and don't just spend all your time gaming them. Watch yourself, and see what gets your own pulse pounding too. Because that has changed.

Post: #16

(double post)

Post: #17

I don't think online game improves actual game. If it did, nerds would get the beautiful girls.

I wouldn't sweat it, just go approach again.

Post: #18

kerouac you probably need a new city in your life.

Post: #19

(07-05-2011 12:23 AM)kerouac Wrote:  I just deleted my account to see how things go from here. Although I think online dating is another way of finding dates, I just don't think it's the ideal way of finding dates.

Looking back on it, the types of girls I dated and hooked up with were not the types of girls I would go after normally, although they weren't bad. Online gaming provided a different "strain" of girl that I probably wouldn't encounter really, because I think online dating, especially free online dating, seems to attract all types of girls, and what that essentially means is that you will encounter girls outside of your typical "point of reference." So you might meet a lot of decent looking girls, they just might come from a different frame of mind than you.

Good move, @kerouac. I've always said that the approach is 80 percent of the reward of game. I think a lot of guys forget that physically approaching is what gives us the satisfaction, the charge of testosterone that we crave. Sure, the sex is great, but often what makes it rewarding is that you went out and caught it yourself. Online dating simply strips part of that element out. If you manage to get laid, it may seem the same, but it simply isn't. It's like the difference between eating pizza everyday versus a healthy, balanced diet. You get nourishment from both, but you're better off in the long run if you opt for the healthy choice. As a sort of "junk food," online dating should always supplement regular approaching, not substitute it. Like any shortcut, like jerking to porn, it has side-effects when abused.

Another thing is what you've pointed out: You end up with chicks you might not otherwise approach. Because of the mass numbers and the unpredictability, you end up casting a wider net that includes so-so chicks or girls with different styles than your normal target. Plus, depending on your look, you may get approached by girls. All of that can add up to "dates" that distract you from the sort of girl that would give you the maximum satisfaction. Compound that over a few months and I'm not surprised at your "malaise."

Keep us posted on this situation.

Post: #20

(07-04-2011 02:19 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  The way I see it, a cool girl is worth a little extra time, but not as much as I tend to give up. I just get lazy with some good pussy and decent company, and stay around long after I become disillusioned again, realizing again that all women are the same.

Truth Tuthmosis, hit the nail on the head there, 'realizing again that all women are the same' - resonated with me in particular haha.

@kerouac definitely with the other guys on here dude in that you should rekindle a passion for something you love doing, whether it be hitting the gym hard (my personal favorite for feeling manly and boosting your testosterone), reading books, fishing, soccer, sailing, pokemon, whatever the hell it is - light a fire under it and get really into it.

This might give your mind the distraction and rest it needed from being over-analytical and being introspective. Furthermore with a little respite you will come out chomping at the bit ready to find some new ladies. Don't beat yourself up man, we all go through these sorts of patches - it's natural, learn from it and come back stronger.