Post: #26

Thanks for the support, may not be a bad idea to meditate.

Post: #27

(07-08-2011 12:49 AM)_DC_ Wrote:  So I've looked up the definition for Anxiety e.g GAD, such as trembling, sweating, nausea etc. and it seems to strong to be what I'm experiencing.

I feel like I've always had a very heightened sense of other people's perception of me, mostly in manner and appearance. What's funny is this feeling is always strong while passing people in hallways or sitting on the metro. It's a strong (but not overwhelming) feeling towards strangers. I rarely have this feeling towards people I know (even a little bit).

When I think about it, it's stupid, because wtf would I care what a complete stranger thinks of me. I've logically thought it through many times, yet I can't bring myself to "not care".

Perhaps is mild anxiety. Perhaps its a personality trait. I guess everybody else could be feeling kinda similar, or everybody else could care less, because really it's hard to know what a stranger is thinking!

This is in "everything else" because I truly feel its pretty tangential to picking up girls. In a dark bar I feel less self-aware, especially after a few drinks. It's just an uncomfortable feeling sometimes, and I wish I could shake it somehow.

Any thoughts?

Logic will only do so much to allieviate your anxiety. Action is what will cure it. It's a bit brash to say, but I used to have trembling anxiety, to the point I would sometimes cry in my room because I was so crippled by it. One day, I was so fed up with being fearful of the world, and I refused anti-anxiety medications, so I approached the world head on. I started putting myself into as many awkward situations, and trust me, they were awkward as fuck and my anxiety was to the point that I could barely speak (I felt a ball in my throat, and my heart raced).

Still, I kept putting myself into unique situations. A traditional pick up method they use to ease people into getting over approach anxiety is asking people the time. I did this for awhile to good results, and kept working upwards to the point of commenting on unique fashion styles of either sex, or an interesting book that someone is reading.

The biggest thing is knowing what to do in social situations, and you will only know what to do after not knowing what to do; learning by doing, and that means going into unfamiliar situations head on and figuring out what works for YOU personally. No book or method will teach you any perfect routine to get over the anxiety that comes with the unknown. What will get you over it is a mindset that welcomes challenge and encourages you to understand anxiety as a temporary feeling that will dissipate as you build more unique social experiences.

Once you approach situations head on you will start not to care what people think of you, but if you continue in a bubble full of insecurity without action, you will dwell on things that are out of your control; they become controlled by you once you start taking action.

The first step is the hardest, but once you take that leap into the unknown enough times, you will realize that your fears are incredibly silly.