Post: #1

On Friday I was at the mall and went into a store with my younger brother (he can't drive so i had to go along). While at the mall in the few stores we went to I made elderly chat with the girls working the cash register about how busy it was for Food Friday and how i heard the mall was going to be closed for the holiday. I can't recall ever making small talk while buying something.

side note; i just started to get into game and have read bang, day bang(how i found out about elderly chat to not scare the cat) and now a dead bat in Paraguay. just getting over a depression like period (have not seen a doctor about it because i was scared of being judged by doctor)

Post: #2

(03-26-2016 04:03 PM)Lawson Wrote:  On Friday I was at the mall and went into a store with my younger brother (he can't drive so i had to go along). While at the mall in the few stores we went to I made elderly chat with the girls working the cash register about how busy it was for Food Friday and how i heard the mall was going to be closed for the holiday. I can't recall ever making small talk while buying something.

side note; i just started to get into game and have read bang, day bang(how i found out about elderly chat to not scare the cat) and now a dead bat in Paraguay. just getting over a depression like period (have not seen a doctor about it because i was scared of being judged by doctor)

It doesn't.

An approach is, in my book, when you put your 'ego' on the line. Thus, you verbalise your intentions to which a girl needs to respond by either agreeing (to give you her number or going on an instadate) or disagreeing with your offer.

Other than that, it's a warm up - good thing to do, anyway. Push forward, though.

Post: #3

ksbsm thanks for the reply, thats a good point, ill keep that in mind for next time.

Post: #4

(03-26-2016 04:43 PM)Lawson Wrote:  ksbsm thanks for the reply, thats a good point, ill keep that in mind for next time.

*KSBMS* woops

Post: #5

Why does this thread exist? Why do you care about what "counts" as an approach? That's not really consistent with your goal of getting pussy, is it? Though I agree with the above that it doesn't.

Post: #6

(03-26-2016 10:25 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  Why does this thread exist? Why do you care about what "counts" as an approach? That's not really consistent with your goal of getting pussy, is it? Though I agree with the above that it doesn't.

It exists because Lawson is trying to learn.

OP try to take it a step further next time.

Post: #7

(03-26-2016 10:46 PM)offthereservation Wrote:  

(03-26-2016 10:25 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  Why does this thread exist? Why do you care about what "counts" as an approach? That's not really consistent with your goal of getting pussy, is it? Though I agree with the above that it doesn't.

It exists because Lawson is trying to learn.

OP try to take it a step further next time.

OP What I believe Red Pillage is trying to say is don't get caught up in the "process" and lose sight of your ultimate goal (sex with women).

Approaching isn't a goal. It's necessary part of the process but too many guys just starting out get hung up on achieving certain numerical "process" milestones (approaches, ph number, 1st dates, kiss, etc) rather than the actual goal...putting your meat puppet in a girl's hooha hole.

The analogy I like to use is sales. Getting a girl into bed is a bit like selling a high ticket item like real estate for example. In real estate you need to cold call (approach), network (get ph numbers), make appointments (dates), give presentations (the dating dance), show property (build comfort/ rapport/ DHV), write offers (seduce), negotiate (escalate), transact (foreplay) and ultimately CLOSE (FUCK). Only when you close the sale do you get what you want...the money (sex). While all those steps are necessary to the process...the CLOSE is really the only thing that matters.

A lot of guys get caught up in doing a certain number of approaches and losing sight of the goal. It's a great idea to set a number of approaches as process milestone as a matter of discipline and focus because like anything else the more you do it the better you get and the less fear of rejection you develop. But don't forget that approaches are not your goal...sex is. Keeping your goal (sex) in mind will help you push the process along further rather than being satisfied with "OK I approached that one" This will increase your likelihood that any given approach may lead to sex.

Put another way:

ABC

Always

Be

Closing





"It's fuck or walk"

Welcome aboard RVF. You're in the right place if you want to learn how to "close"

Post: #8

If that will make you feel better then yes, it can count as an approach. However if you want to break through your shell and anxiety I'd recommend you to stop counting approaches and try to have a friendly small talk like that anywhere you go.

Ideally, and I mean IDEALLY so don't beat yourself up now, the social part of your life should feel like a "one big blur" to you in a way that you can't really point out how many conversations you started and nor you can distinguish whether this thing you did was legit approach or not.

Some will tell you that a real approach is only when you go after a girl from the get go, others will tell you something different. Who cares. Just focus on what you do and worry about overall direction of your actions, ignore pointless details and you're good.

Post: #9

I think counting approaches is a useful metric for gauging effort you're putting in. I still have a tendency to quit my daygame sessions early without putting in enough effort so counting approaches can help me stay honest. It's also important to be self-reflective about taking things one step further continuously, by asking yourself what could I have done to in that situation to have got closer fucking that girl. (Always Be Closing, like others have said.)

What I love about daygame is the feeling of having pushed yourself to do things just two days before you were kicking yourself over not doing. Like a month ago I might've restrained myself from going for a #-close should a girl's friends arrive, yet last week in this scenario I knew I should put my ego on the line and risk rejection in front of three people, which I did.

Just some thoughts from beginner-intermediate point of view. Great progress since last November following Torero/Krauser direct DG tenets. First SDL this week.

Post: #10

IMO an approach only counts as an approach if she is in a situation where she is free to break off the interaction, and you either push to the point where you have an opportunity to ask the "buying question" (for a number, date, etc.) or at least take things far enough that she disengages or gives you strong signals that's she's not interested and wants you to fuck off.

Chit-chatting with random cute girls working in shops or grocery stores doesn't really count. They're kind of a captive audience, sort of like female bartenders. They can be fun to BS with, but in the end there generally isn't really any good avenue to move forward, so it doesn't count for much.

Post: #11

It doesn't, but anything is better than sitting around and staring. Use it as a springboard for making actual approaches!

Post: #12

(04-03-2016 03:00 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  It doesn't, but anything is better than sitting around and staring. Use it as a springboard for making actual approaches!

Exactly. To clarify for the OP's benefit, there's nothing inherently wrong with what you're doing, in fact it's quite good if you have little experience engaging with women in a friendly, confident manner. You just shouldn't have unreasonable expectations that interactions of that sort are going to lead anywhere particular.

I'm a fairly extroverted guy, and shopgirls/bartenders love to shoot the shit with me. They're stuck behind a counter/bar for seven hours, and it seems like a guy who can spit some game at them is mana from heaven after dealing with hordes of chodey, abrasive customers day in and day out.

The coffee shop I go to is mostly staffed by young college girls, and they all know me by name, and sometimes seek me out on their breaks to chat with because I have interesting things to talk about, am friendly and relaxed, and I just treat them with the same respect I treat everyone else. I don't try to close with any of them (even though I'd gladly bang just about all of them) because I like to work there, and don't shit where you eat and all that.

But I don't feel like these interactions are a waste of time at all, even if at the end of the day they're not really interested and there's no opportunity to ask the "buying question." They're getting entertainment, and while they may not realize it, I'm staying in practice and trying out "new material" on them that I might use when I'm BSing with a girl I actually have a shot with. It's a win-win.

The best way to bang attractive young women is to become completely comfortable engaging and talking with attractive young women.

(03-27-2016 12:49 PM)XXL Wrote:  Some will tell you that a real approach is only when you go after a girl from the get go, others will tell you something different. Who cares. Just focus on what you do and worry about overall direction of your actions, ignore pointless details and you're good.

Correct. Trying to bin stuff into boxes like that (and this applies in many areas of life) is sort of a waste of time. A girl talked to me on the street, but walked away before I could ask for her number. Is that an approach? A girl bumped up against me at the bar, then smiled at me and introduced me to her boyfriend. Is that an approach? I sat down at the same table as some girls in a restaurant because it was crowded and talked with them for five minutes. When I came back from the bathroom, they were gone. Is that an approach? I "insta-dated" a girl to a bar I talked with for a bit on a street one night, but after a while she started ignoring me to talk with a friend she saw there, so I left. Is that an approach?

These are all situations that happened to me just within the past couple weeks.

When you engage with women regularly, these are all sort of irrelevant questions, like asking whether Steve who has a height of 5'11" inches is tall, or not. There are girls you interact socially with that don't lead anywhere, and girls you bang. That's it.

The final thing I'd recommend is that if the OP is having issues with anxiety/depression, these are things that need to be squared away to the best of his ability before starting with game seriously..if it requires seeing a doctor or therapist, so be it. What do you care about more, having successful relationships with women, or being "judged" by some mental health professional? I've known people who worked in the industry, and frankly if you've got your head right enough to be posting here and actively talking with women, you're one of the last people they'd spend much time "judging." Successful relationships with women can do a lot to improve your confidence and keep depression at bay (which often springs out of feelings of isolation), but not starting with a solid foundation will definitely compromise you.

Post: #13

(04-03-2016 08:55 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  The final thing I'd recommend is that if the OP is having issues with anxiety/depression, these are things that need to be squared away to the best of his ability before starting with game seriously..if it requires seeing a doctor or therapist, so be it.

Or try to fix it with exercise, ie lifting weights.

Post: #14

Doctors will not judge you. They are there to help. You probably just need to talk to someone.

If your pulse rate was racing, then they count. As someone said, try to go a little further next time.