Post: #1

I gave notice at a job I've hated for quite a while. It looks like I will have an exit interview next week. Now I am wondering what I should say in my exit interview.

I don't feel like I had much choice in the matter. Back in January, I got a bad review from my supervisor. This was in spite of the fact that I took on a lot more work in 2015 than I had in previous years.

He then decided to have me placed on an "improvement plan." The plan basically consisted of a weekly meeting in which he brought everything that he considered a deficiency. He's always been negative, but his negativity got even worse during the past year. I really don't think the plan was about giving me a chance to improve--I think it was more about him just looking for reasons to get rid of me.

Now I have a chance to tell my side of the story, and I really would like to tell human resources about all of his annoying behaviors. My supervisor doesn't keep his word on much of anything. He is supposed to have one-on-one meeting with us every two weeks and then just blows them off. He often says he will do something by a certain date or time and then doesn't do it. He is the most disengaged supervisor I've ever had.

And he absolutely, positive loves to have worthless conversations. He will talk about something in his personal life for up to 90 minutes. Such topics include his brother's criminal activity, his jury duty, his grandmother's cooking, his life in college, current events, politics, or his time playing sports in school. He spends so much time talking about stupid, irrelevant bullshit that it's hard not to just tune him out completely. Needless to say, we get more work done when he's not around.

So, should I tell the truth about this guy in my exit interview? Or should I just let all his silly behavior slide? I'm going to mention other things in my exit interview that aren't personal, but I also feel like I should spare others from the nightmare of having to work for this narcissistic sociopath.

Bottom line, he's going to know that I said this stuff about him. Should I worry about burning a bridge? After all, I feel like the bridge has already been burned. I also don't want to close the door on this company completely. I might go back there if other people wanted me back.

Post: #2

How likely would you go back?

How well can you document your claims about what a shitty manager he is?

The key if you are going to comment on your manager is to have irrefutable evidence and nothing where it seems like you are just bitching.

Also, even though your boss is a bag of dicks, what is his status within the company? Is he a lifer? Does he have a lot of power? Because let's say you wanted to go back, does he have enough clout to block your return?

If he is the golden boy, you probably won't be able to hurt him much. If he is hated, maybe you are the tipping point to get him in trouble/fired.

Just stuff to think about.

Post: #3

Keep it strictly professional and devoid of emotion (if possible). Anything else will come off as sour grapes.

Despite all that, it's probable no action will be taken in respect of the points you raise, so it's worth weighing up wether or not you should bother raising anything negative at all (especially if you don't want to completely burn that bridge).

Post: #4

He has been there for about five years. I don't know if he is a golden boy or not.

When he started the improvement plan, I actually started to send emails to my home email documenting his behavior. It's stuff like: "Today he did this."

And I also have some hard evidence. He parked in a space which is specifically marked as being reserved for our catering vans on two separate occasions. The second time, I took a picture of it.

Post: #5

There is no upside and only downside for you. You should keep yourself professional and keep the bitter emotions out of it. In a few weeks you won't even care. You don't want to get a bad reputation. What happens if word leaks out about what you did in the exit interview and a future employer calls there for a reference?

One time I was leaving and I wanted to destroy my boss in my exit interview. The night before I thought about it and decided it's not worth crying over spilled milk...and flash forward to today I'm better off than I would have been had I stayed. So who knows, maybe in 5 years from now you can see he did you a favor. Instead of being angry, I should have told my boss thank you for pushing me to make a change and try something else.

Post: #6

Yeah, I'd just let it go.

Odds are they will ignore anything negative you have to say, and like others have said it can only hurt you. He probably has a bunch of acquaintances in the industry and he'll probably badmouth you if you slag him in the interview.

Besides, he might even like you and think he's helping you, but he's just a social retard who doesn't understand that he's actually acting like a fucking cunt. I've had bosses like that. People are weird, and again there's just no upside here.

You're probably thinking it would be good for the company to show them he's a douche, but if they have a company culture that enables such shitty management they don't deserve your help, especially since it's risky on your part. Fuck em, their loss.

Post: #7

I'd let it go. Give him a normal appraisal. You never know who he might know and how he could fuck you over in the future if he catches wind of you giving him a bad review. I'd walk away from it with my head held high knowing that I'm on to bigger and better things.

Post: #8

HR is not a neutral party, their primary function is to serve the interests of the company not the employee (don't be fooled by the "Wellness Committee)", which includes supporting management even when it is clear who is wrong. They won't be impressed or happy that you can show your supervisor is an asshole or a liar.

There's no win in trying to settle disputes or show what the supervisor has done wrong, especially at this point. You only win by leaving.

I had an absolutely insane supervisor, he would hide behind doors to listen to your conversation, stand behind you and watch you without saying anything waiting for you to turn around, put a blackout curtain in his office window so no one could see what he was doing, talk shit about other employees to me and about me to other employees, leave for hours on end for "lunch", give purely spiteful reviews based on how much you listened to his stories and smiled, and on and on. He was a man seeking some kind of power and respect which he will never get in real life, as are often the guys who become supervisors.

We had meeting after meeting, a dozen employees telling the same story about him, zero doubt about whats going on. It continued for 5 years, for 2 years after I left. Confiding in HR only hurt my standing. He only got fired in the end because they discovered he spent most of his time playing online computer games, the rest of it wasn't enough apparently.

For the exit interview- be positive, point out the things you've achieved and done well, keep it short and to the point, and thank them for the opportunity- even if you'd like to spit on them.

If that leaves a bad taste in your mouth, as it should, the best thing to do is start working towards being your own boss, as I did.

Post: #9

I simply couldn't stomach doing the 'everything was wonderful!' responses others have described here. That would probably psychologically demoralize me, kill off something inside. To live in a world where psychopaths never get retaliation and get lifetime power over you.

That said, it's true you can't just have a whinge session. Assume that HR has zero concern for you -- so don't bring up anything that hurt you but didn't hurt the company as a whole (i.e. quarterly earnings).

Make it much more targeted and dispassionate. Point out all of his strengths first and foremost (which they probably already know of). Then criticize him in the most targeted way possible. You should know exactly what the layers of management above him are wanting from him, so you can explain convincingly how he is acting contrary to that. You should paint a picture about how the company is a great place, with great managers who are bringing profit and success to the company, and it would be nice if he could join their ranks. If he said or did anything that bucked against managers in the layer above him, bring that up, and make it convincing, bringing up projects and other things that HR will know about so it stays in the context of company performance. If anything you want to paint him as a good boss to you, helping you out by trying to "improve you", but (subtly) who has been negligent or even malicious to the company and the managers/executives above him.

These exit interviews are there for a reason, they are part of the feedback loops that higher levels of management use in their future decisions regarding who to place where, and who gets cut during downturns. Be very calculating.

Post: #10

^ Ideally we would do that, but I think that doing so requires a level of calculating that could be better used to further ourselves in our next endeavors. It's committing a lot of brainpower to a situation you could just walk away from and say "fuck it."

Plus, you slip up and you look like you're trying too hard and that raises suspicion. I am not advocating cowardly behavior or anything, but some fights are not worth it, especially with some middle manager and a dispassionate HR harpy who wants nothing more than to get the fuck out of that awkward situation. I'd give an honest appraisal, but beyond that everything else is just too much risk for almost no reward, immediately or otherwise.

But hey, if you can actually do that, that is bad ass and commendable.

Post: #11

(05-13-2016 03:15 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  I simply couldn't stomach doing the 'everything was wonderful!' responses others have described here.

I don't think anyone is saying that he needs to express that "everything is wonderful", just that nothing is gained from laying it all out there and ripping the supervisor, the only consequences are negative ones. Nothing will change based on his review of his supervisor, and bridges will be burnt.

Like we've gone back and forth about in another thread- It's not about what we all would want in an ideal world, it's about dealing with reality as it stands and choosing the actions that are most beneficial/least harmful.

Quote:That would probably psychologically demoralize me, kill off something inside. To live in a world where psychopaths never get retaliation and get lifetime power over you.

The advice described does not amount to "psychopaths getting lifetime power over you". Both because it's nothing near that level, and because that is a choice you're making, to give that power. Walking away vs going down swinging does not change that.

Even if one did not give a shit and decided to "tell it like it is" or was angry, the effort still won't have changed the company or the supervisor in question. In fact, that would be an instance of giving power to others you alluded to.

Post: #12

I don't see the upside in burning this guy. You may derive some temporary satisfaction but it may come back to bite you. You also don't have any real objective compliants. Parking in the wrong spot and discussions about his grandmother are petty. Taking pictures of him in the wrong parking spot makes you look like a disgruntled, revengeful employee. Come on man. Move beyond that.

Post: #13

Who cares about anything, you're leaving. You should exit with everyone thinking you love them. Tell your faggot supervisor exactly what they want to hear. Tell your boss that your faggot supervisor is a fantastic guy and an asset to his business.

Post: #14

Best things to say are:

"Had a great time working here, it's a shame things couldn't work out for the better. I wish the best to my former colleagues."

Post: #15

Thanks for all the answers. The only conclusion I can draw from this is that the exit interview will be a complete waste of time. If I can't be honest in my exit interview, then there is no point in having one.

Post: #16

More to the point than the previous image:

Post: #17

The exit interview isn't for you. It's for the company. They don't want to hear you left because the supervisor is a piece of shit. They want to hear you got a better opportunity/benefits from a different company. That way HR can expand it's sphere of influence and justify its existence. It does this by arguing for better benefits that need more resources to be "managed" or if there's a large turnover of employees, then it doesn't make sense to reduce HR staff. . . . . .

The exit interview is a waste of time for you. You can always refuse or do as others have said, keep it upbeat and tell them everything is great.

Post: #18

Don't burn your bridges behind you.

If the manager above your job had been doing his job, and cared,he would have figured out what's wrong with your boss,coworkers etc., nothing you can say will change anything for the better.

Life changes in many ways, one day you may want to go back to the company, or end up working with some of those people again, or the person you (truthfully) bad mouth today may be (or become) friends with a future employer.

Say you love the company, the people, and your job but have been offered an opportunity that'swonderful for your career and a better salary etc.and can't turn itdown.

Post: #19

This is why I stick to consulting and stay away from employee-type employment.

The last time I was an employee I got a so-so (average) review after my first 6 months. I was pissed because I literally turned that entire department around and brought it back from it's ashes. Unfortunately my manager was not only brand new to the department but lacked the skills to even be running it.

Compensation is tied to the reviews so I think they do try to keep them as "average" as they can. When he tried to fault me for not using previously developed technology that never worked and I had proven wouldn't work for what was needed, I knew the reviews were a scam.

I complained to HR, they backed the manager and tried to sell me on the idea that is was a really great review since I've only been there for 6 months.

So if I cured cancer in 6 months than I can't get the best review possible because I've only been there for 6 months?? It made no sense, so I left and went back into consulting. At that particular company when you put in your 2 weeks notice they escort you to the door immediately and give you your 2 weeks pay. However, my boss went running to HR and pleaded with them not to do that and to make me work the 2 weeks because I had so much expertise he wanted transferred to other people.

That probably looked bad on him. During the exit interview I told them I was quitting because there is a gap between how I and the company value my contributions so I've decided to work for another company that really needs and values me.

That's all, and it was truth.

Post: #20

(05-14-2016 01:35 PM)Onto Wrote:  This is why I stick to consulting and stay away from employee-type employment.

The last time I was an employee I got a so-so (average) review after my first 6 months. I was pissed because I literally turned that entire department around and brought it back from it's ashes. Unfortunately my manager was not only brand new to the department but lacked the skills to even be running it.

Compensation is tied to the reviews so I think they do try to keep them as "average" as they can. When he tried to fault me for not using previously developed technology that never worked and I had proven wouldn't work for what was needed, I knew the reviews were a scam.

I complained to HR, they backed the manager and tried to sell me on the idea that is was a really great review since I've only been there for 6 months.

So if I cured cancer in 6 months than I can't get the best review possible because I've only been there for 6 months?? It made no sense, so I left and went back into consulting. At that particular company when you put in your 2 weeks notice they escort you to the door immediately and give you your 2 weeks pay. However, my boss went running to HR and pleaded with them not to do that and to make me work the 2 weeks because I had so much expertise he wanted transferred to other people.

That probably looked bad on him. During the exit interview I told them I was quitting because there is a gap between how I and the company value my contributions so I've decided to work for another company that really needs and values me.

That's all, and it was truth.

Did you ever find out how things turned out?

OP, you should go out like this:

Post: #21

Doesn't matter that much, because it's just a formal exit interview, but I see no upside and only downside for you if you complain about your boss. I would just come up with some general feel good bullshit and leave it at that.

Post: #22

Jobs come and go these days. Righting wrongs doesn't seem to matter. I can't think of one time where this type of feedback pays off. How would it pay off? They give you his role instead? They demote that person or fire them? Often, when there is a problem person everyone agrees on, that person is eventually given the boot too. It almost always happens. Unless they are hugely successful in sales.... and giant dickheads that nobody likes typically dont exist in sales anyways. But because jobs are so transactional these days, it doesn't pay to be butt hurt. If you have a crappy boss, just find a better role with more pay, that is the best way to right that wrong. Go find someone that is excited to hire you, and have you report to them. Having a supporting boss is what we should all be looking for if we want to get ahead.

Post: #23

To be honest, most places treat their employees like absolute shit these days. There is a glut of workers and an aging workforce that justifies its existence by keeping younger employees down. If you intend on playing the game of employee, I suggest you bow out gracefully. Work on getting your own book of business in the mean time. Things aren't going to get better in corporate 'Merica.

Post: #24

(05-14-2016 01:45 PM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  Did you ever find out how things turned out?

I heard my boss had some explaining to do to the business. Looks like he's still there. HR always backs the manager. Both look at people like Legos and all they need to do is put another lego-person in the chair.

That perception is actually very profitable for the technology consultant.

Post: #25

Quote:And I also have some hard evidence. He parked in a space which is specifically marked as being reserved for our catering vans on two separate occasions. The second time, I took a picture of it.

This seems like some serious crime going on. You should send your picture as evidence to the police for immediate investigation and possible incarceration of the culprit of boss you have.