(06-21-2016 08:57 PM)ladderff Wrote: I consider this deceitful and exploitative and would not accept it from my CS guests. It's one thing if we have a party over here or if we go out as a group and get some girls to come back—if one of my surfers is doing well with a girl and they are already at my place I would not stand in his way. He can go bang her on the roof or in a room here if space allows.
Couchsurfing, for all its imperfections, is still a place where men can actually help each other out, share experiences, and go chase chicks together, and it's already become hard enough on there for men, especially younger guys just starting out and/or with lousy bankrolls, to find hosts, without having some people going about "establishing trust" with the host so he can use the space the host paid rent for to go score chicks on his own. Buck up for an Airbnb.
As for your other post: you don't need a "procedure" to get a host on CS. We are not talking about running game here: you can really just be cool and honest about your goals. You are talking about treating other men, men who stand willing to be generous with their time and personal space, as though they were lizards.
That's all well and good, especially on paper. Yes shared experiences are great.
Go to parties and bring girls back together, as long as:
- you and your host both like parties/nightgame
- your host is single
- it's a thursday to saturday night, when almost all parties take place
- neither of you have to work the next morning
- or your host happens to like daygame
Otherwise I guess guests are out of luck if they want to get laid.
- You just assumed I had no interest in my hosts as people. Why would you assume that? If you read the whole thread that I linked to, you'd see I said some of the best times I had in Brazil were with my hosts. So we had lots of shared experiences. Furthermore I helped him learn english, teach a few of his english classes, plan his trip to north america, and later started paying for the empty room they had been unable to rent out. Making friends is not the topic of this thread nor this forum, so I didn't include that information. The fact that you jumped to that conclusion says more about you. And I thought we've had enough of the couchsurfing money/friendship debate in the past, so I didn't bother addressing it.
- You assumed I said establish trust with your host for the sole purpose of being able to bring a girl home later. Why would you assume that? See the point above.
- I asked permission. He was free to say no. I said I might bring someone over, and I'd watch her the whole time. Implying I wouldn't let her cause any harm. What we do in the privacy of my room is between us. That's not deceit. My host knew my intentions anyway. You don't need to explicitly state everything you're going to do.
- I've hosted plenty of people too. It's called a hospitality exchange site. You help people out and you get helped out later on. Some of my guests used my place and didn't hang out with me. I don't call it exploitation. I don't require I receive equal value at a certain time or from a certain person. By your logic, if a guest does anything enjoyable on his own during his stay, he's exploiting the host.
- There's nothing wrong with asking a favor. Like if someone asks to borrow your screwdriver. You don't say "what have you done for me? Are you just using me for my screwdriver? Did you hang out with me the other day to establish trust so you could use my stuff later on?". If there's little or no cost to you, and a benefit to the other person, you lend the screwdriver. That's how society works. Asking to have someone over follows the same principle.
- I caused no harm. Not only that, I got laid, she got laid and money was saved. For example, having people over and leaving them unsupervised, that's potential harm. Smoking inside, that's harm.
- Since a procedure, in the sense that I was using it, is a series of actions, you most certainly do need one to get a host. Unless someone randomly bursts into your apartment and offers to host you. "Just be cool and honest" is not an action and will therefore not get you any hosts. Advice that is not actionable is useless.
Example of where this kind of advice leads:
"Just be cool."
"Great, how do I just be cool?"
"Just be yourself."
"How do I be myself?"
"Just be cool."
- Almost anything can be considered deceitful and exploitative. For example, Airbnb hosts who gringo gouge, charging 3 times the normal rent. They're concealing information that could greatly benefit the other person: that an apartment is much cheaper here than you'd expect. That fits the definition of deceitful. They're gaining significant benefits while the other person incurs a significant cost. That fits the definition of exploitative. I'm not saying this is my actual view, it's just an example.
- "Buck up" sounds a lot better than "give your hard earned money" yet they are physically identical. You spend all the money you want, I'll get laid for free.
Similarly, you implied that to "chase chicks", is good and "trying to score chicks" is bad. Yet they're physically identical. By the way, "trying" is not the most accurate word there, since I got laid.
The core of your argument seems to be that things should just happen and conscious thought is bad in situations like these.
People often say "it just happened" to avoid responsibility for their actions. They avoid conscious thought about what they're doing so they can tell themselves after "it just happened" and that they're a desireless little angel.
Well nothing just happens. Everything has a cause. Everything we do has an intention, whether it was conscious or subconscious. Action is what matters, not which causes you decide to focus on and which causes you decide you ignore or reject.
(06-24-2016 10:52 AM)the6ix Wrote: I've hosted a ton of people, and I'd wouldn't want my surfer to bring a guy/girl home. The situation I've had happen a few times is where I'm hosting a guy and we bring a couple girls back for an after party. Otherwise, whoever I'm hosting can go to the other person's house for that purpose.
Fine by me, hosts are within their rights to say no.
Depending on the country, it may be highly likely the girl lives with her family. So going to her place is not an option. Latin america falls under this category.
(06-23-2016 06:35 AM)travolta Wrote: I don't host people from couch surfing because I don't like free-loaders, but if my guest were to ask me if he could bring a girl back, I'd reply with "you need to get a job and stay at a hotel next time."
There's nothing wrong with saving money, regardless of the word you choose to describe it. Having to work, and not having enough money are two common excuses people give to not travel. And opinions like the one above perpetuate that myth.
Likewise I could use the words lazy, impatient and wasteful to describe people who like to get the same thing at a much higher price. I'm not saying that's my actual view. My point is these replies contain words to make you feel they are correct, even though they contain few or no facts.
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