Post: #1

Sorry for the long post, but wanted to get as much information here on the situation to see what your thoughts were. I met a girl 4 months ago, she is 18 (a virgin too), I am 28. Things were going great.

I gamed her well until this point. Push/pull, texting was 50/50, texting was minimum, not every day, and we would both exit out of conversations. I would keep meeting to once a week.

There was a point early on where she bluntly said she didn’t want to see me anymore. This was because she was subtly asking for a relationship a number of times which I was too arrogant in my response. I went ghost for a day and then went a bit AFC – said I wanted her. It worked on this girl and we started seeing each other again.

We had lots of dates since then and everything was great. We had planned going to a play for some time, she bought the tickets for us, and we were both very excited for it, we agreed a couple of dates ago that we would sleep with each other that weekend, but I didn’t mention it again as she said she was scared and would need to think about it.

We went on another date after that, this was I knew her IL was sky high through these actions:

-Kinoing me, head in my chest and hugging constant
-she bought me gifts from russia
-taught me I love you in her native language
-said she wished she could see me every day
-said she could not sleep the night before because she wanted to see me
-said I really like you a lot


I then didn’t initiate texting for 3 days after the date above where I then initiated with some small talk, day after that I asked her to meet at 2 for the play, she said she couldn’t go, her mum didn’t let her, there was no offer of another meet-up, I didn’t make a big deal of it, the conversation then went like this:

Me: that’s okay, atleast I can sleep in now!
Her: yes! Because you are the king! (I used to call myself the king to her),
Me: I like to sleep with my crown on! My servants keep it on for me!

I didn’t set-up another date, I felt like she was being distant and I thought she didn’t care. Turns out she went to the city with some friends she hasn’t seen in a long time.

I then went ghost for a day, then re-initiated again, asked her how her weekend was, she said she was studying (a lie) again a few texts, I wanted to gauge her interest, I wasn’t getting much response. I then ghosted for another day, where I then initiated for a fourth time, I said have you heard from your cat in Russia, I got a lengthy response which I was pleased about, I then said again that I missed him, she replied “he doesn’t miss you” no laughing faces or “haha’s”, I then asked how she was where I got no reply. I tried to call her two days after to find out what was going on, she didn’t reply, said she couldn’t talk, so I said its fine im going to London anyway, so she told me to piss off.

The next day I apologized, and put my feelings on the line, I still didn’t know what was actually wrong at this point.

She texted a few days later saying: I’m upset about you, in my opinion the relationship cannot continue. Ps you should hold your tounge when you talk to me. Her grammar isn’t great, and I wanted to speak to her on the phone, she wouldn’t pick up, I said call me because I don’t understand.

She said: im trying to say I don’t want to talk anymore, so you can continue to sleep with your “crown” on your head.

I didn’t respond, a few hours later I get a : you are a beggar who costs nothing. She was twisting when I used to call myself a king against me, she did used to laugh at these jokes of mine.

I thought maybe also she wanted to hear was an apology so I said sorry again. She then said: and I have news for you, I have another man. Shes not lying, I saw a pic on her social media with him.

I then said ok, and then put my heart on the line again, said the last 4 months weren’t a joke and so on, she then blocked me. I had ordered some flowers a few days before which were due to arrive in a couple of days.

The flowers arrived, she unblocked me then said thank you she loved them. I apologized, she said ok but to never be mean to her again. She called me excited, asked when we could meet, I saw her yesterday.

It was like nothing had ever happened, I brought up the situation because I wanted to know what had happened, as I still wasnt sure, and wanted to avoid it from happening again, her response was that she was thinking about herself and that relationships are hard. I found this response weird, as if this was the case why was she insulting me and saying I was being mean? I then joked around with her having another guy, I asked if she was seeing someone, she said she had been but not anymore and that he had gone back to his home country, she also deleted the photo of them two off social media. I wont be bringing him up again, me and her have never had a talk about seeing other people after 4 months. I said to her if anything happens where you get upset again she needs to tell me so that we can sort it out, she agreed.

This is where we are now, we're talking all ill be seeing her again next week. She didn't let me kiss her yesterday.

What are your takes / advice going forward? or feedback on this interaction.

Post: #2

This belongs in the newbie forum.

You were her 2nd choice. That's why she disappeared while the other guy was around. I doubt she was a virgin and if she was, she isn't anymore. Probably banged that dude. She won't kiss you because she still wants the other guy.

I say it's all but over. You obviously like the girl and talking like a player but you aren't. Can't be a virgin player. It'll do you better to be yourself and learn how to date normally before you jump into being a player. Find a new girl, date her and let the relationship run its natural course. Keep doing this until you get a feel on how to move and get what you want in relationships. Only then can you really be an effective player.

Post: #3

4 months of pursuing.

Flowers for a girl you haven't fucked.

Going for the championship in apologizing.

Notwithstanding her hot/cold treatment of you through all you re-initiating; when she told you she has another man, you should've just exited stage left. Blatant disrespect.

She's Russian? Still wouldn't bet on her being a virgin. She spun 2 of you at the same time, maybe more.

Next. You're 28 and should not have time for these games. Young chicks should throw themselves at you if you have your shit together, you're entering your prime.

Also, my sense is tingling a bit.

Post: #4

(12-04-2016 03:11 PM)realologist Wrote:  This belongs in the newbie forum.

You were her 2nd choice. That's why she disappeared while the other guy was around. I doubt she was a virgin and if she was, she isn't anymore. Probably banged that dude. She won't kiss you because she still wants the other guy.

I say it's all but over. You obviously like the girl and talking like a player but you aren't. Can't be a virgin player. It'll do you better to be yourself and learn how to date normally before you jump into being a player. Find a new girl, date her and let the relationship run its natural course. Keep doing this until you get a feel on how to move and get what you want in relationships. Only then can you really be an effective player.

Why the newbie forum? Im not a virgin

Post: #5

(12-04-2016 03:17 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Why the newbie forum? Im not a virgin

You've got oneitis for a girl that you haven't even banged in almost half a year.

It also seems like you overgamed her.

Ghosting for a day isn't really ghosting. If you ghost a girl, it's more like 1+ weeks.

In the meantime you could've been getting more numbers or bangs from other girls instead of getting hung up on a wishy washy 18 year old that you desperately want to call you king. You're forcing it.

Read around here more.

Post: #6

I concur with the above posters.

I've been in the same situation before, it's a blow to the ego when you invest a lot and it does not work out.

Unfortunately nothing is for certain when dealing with women.

I'd recommend internalizing these points.

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixt...s-of-poon/

Post: #7

Thank you guys. Ive known about game for a few years and have read a lot of material, I have been sleeping with other girls, one that she knows about, when I mentioned the guy she asked how the girl was that I slept with.

I have gamed her too hard, and she was looking around for something which I wasn't giving her, she started to see him, however when the flowers arrived she saw my action rather than words and came back to me and finished it with him. She thought I was completely not interested.

Yes I bought her flowers but I had not done anything nice for her in 4 months, she had bought me things.

4 months of pursuing - she is a virgin. re-intiating when hot / cold, was trying to gauge her interest, I went NC on her for 4 days after our last date.

Post: #8

I know textbook game theory suggests strong push pull and not phoning/texting too soon or too much.

This generally works because it creates an image of you being busy, disinterested and having better things to do, and a hint of chasing other women.

This can backfire in cases where you have a naive virgin who is infatuated and in early stages of limerence with you.

In these cases you should play comfort game.

Given she would have lots of men chasing her, I think you were too distant and she became infatuated with another dude.

Post: #9

(12-04-2016 04:41 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I know textbook game theory suggests strong push pull and not phoning/texting too soon or too much.

This generally works because it creates an image of you being busy, disinterested and having better things to do, and a hint of chasing other women.

This can backfire in cases where you have a naive virgin who is infatuated and in early stages of limerence with you.

In these cases you should play comfort game.

Given she would have lots of men chasing her, I think you were too distant and she became infatuated with another dude.

I agree with you. And I was doing text book game, I was doing it for 3 months... I was not texting her for 3-4 days, I was not acting bothered about not seeing her. This is text book game for the beginning, but we were pretty much in a relationship. she is definitely a naive virgin, I obviously made her angry with the abuse she was giving me and she said she was upset about me.

Post: #10

I'll tell you once I'm done banging all the chicks here, please stand by.

Post: #11

Realologist nailed it.

OP, you might have read a lot about game, but it doesn't mean you learned anything. In your original post, you come off as incredibly needy and insecure. In your follow up post, you come off as defensive. Do you really want the boards opinions? And this belongs in the Newbie Forum because it is a newbie question. Although you have read a lot, you are inexperienced at game.

I think everyone would tell you the same thing. You didn't overgame her. You became needy and entitled, and she got disgusted with you. She had other options and you clearly didn't.

Lessons you should learn from this experience, going ghost means a few weeks, not a few days. Never apologize unless you know why you are apologizing and are indeed in the wrong. Flowers are for movies. Don't be so naive to believe a girl when she says nothing happened with the other guy and she broke up with him. When a girl is avoiding you or blocks you, stop trying to contact her. Have some self respect.

Post: #12

(12-04-2016 05:24 PM)TornadoByProxy Wrote:  Realologist nailed it.

OP, you might have read a lot about game, but it doesn't mean you learned anything. In your original post, you come off as incredibly needy and insecure. In your follow up post, you come off as defensive. Do you really want the boards opinions? And this belongs in the Newbie Forum because it is a newbie question. Although you have read a lot, you are inexperienced at game.

I think everyone would tell you the same thing. You didn't overgame her. You became needy and entitled, and she got disgusted with you. She had other options and you clearly didn't.

Lessons you should learn from this experience, going ghost means a few weeks, not a few days. Never apologize unless you know why you are apologizing and are indeed in the wrong. Flowers are for movies. Don't be so naive to believe a girl when she says nothing happened with the other guy and she broke up with him. When a girl is avoiding you or blocks you, stop trying to contact her. Have some self respect.

She started going cold after the date in my OP when I didnt text her for 4 days after. Thats when the sudden shift started.

Post: #13

Update -

She uploaded the picture of the flowers to her social media earlier, she deleted it, shes now re-uploaded the picture of her and the guy. I dont follow her on that social media

Post: #14

(12-04-2016 05:53 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Update -

She uploaded the picture of the flowers to her social media earlier, she deleted it, shes now re-uploaded the picture of her and the guy. I dont follow her on that social media

Stop doing that to her social media and fill your time with something else. Hopefully something productive.

Post: #15

Move on. She is into the other dude. You are the plan B right now. You aren't even taking her to the candy shop, so honestly, I say just let this one go and start banging other chicks more. Just my opinion.

Also, continuously checking her social media for updates like this will lead to nothing good. It will only cause you pain and make it more difficult to move on.

Post: #16

Forgetting the specifics of your post, here's what stands out to me the most:

As someone else mentioned, you "overgamed" her.

You tried WAY to hard. You can tell just by the language you used in your post.

IF this girl was a virgin, you didn't need to try this hard. 18 year old virgins like a NICE GUY with SUBTLE GAME.

Also, don't put all your eggs in one basket. You came across as incredibly in congruent both to her and this forum.

Post: #17

4 months and no sex? Geez man. No offense, but no wonder she wants to ditch you.

Sorry to break this to you, but you can't say you "have" a woman until you've fucked her. And even then she might ditch you, but at least then you can say you got laid! Lol :-p

Anyway, I'd say she's not worth the trouble. Learn from this, and next time, try to get the bang by no later than the 3rd date.

Post: #18

I'm a newb as well and I did almost what you did in my last relationship. I tried to hard to be a player. The only difference is that I was fucking the girl(she was also a virgin) but even then it didn't work out cause I came across incongruent and insecure.

Post: #19

Guys:

If you fuck an actual virgin (as in her hymen busts when you stick your dick in her) you don't have to "game" her anymore.

Virgins require very little "maintenance" game after being fucked for the first time, if you're the guy who deflowered her. It's basically, be a nice guy. As long as you don't act like a total pussy, she will worship the ground you walk on.

Post: #20

It's time that you either next her, or go all in to deflower her and keep her.

This means, there are only 2 options to choose from:

1) Just next her and tell her that you don't put up with this shit
2) Next time you meet her, go straight for the bang. Any LMR, kick her out, never to be seen again. Go all in.

I hate to say that, but you came as extremely needy by "putting your feelings on the line". From our youth, we're taught that girls love a "nice guy". That's true to some extent, but no girl loves a guy who constantly talks about feelings. Feelings are for girls.

If you choose option 1, just text her "I don't put up with this shit, bye". End of story.
If you choose option 2, invite her to your place (or hers), and ensure to have private time, and go for the bang. If she doesn't want to, just kick her out and don't call her again.

If option 2 succeeds, ensure that you are the one deflowering her. If there's no bleeding or no sign of her being a virgin, it means that she gave it to the other dude, and then came to you expecting you to take her as a sloppy second. If so, dump her right away, and tell her "sorry, I don't date non-virgins". That'll be your revenge for what she did.

Post: #21

I hate to say it, but a male virgin should probably get a few notches with sluts before going all in on an 18 year old female virgin. Especially one who's pushing 30.

Reading this was like watching:

Post: #22

(12-05-2016 04:56 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  I hate to say it, but a male virgin should probably get a few notches with sluts before going all in on an 18 year old female virgin. Especially one who's pushing 30.

Reading this was like watching:

Guys sorry to clarify I am not a virgin!

Post: #23

(12-04-2016 02:42 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Sorry for the long post, but wanted to get as much information here on the situation to see what your thoughts were. I met a girl 4 months ago, she is 18 (a virgin too)

When OP wrote this, I don't think he meant he himself was a virgin. The "she is...a virgin too" most likely refers to the girl being 18 and "a virgin, too."

As for the rest of the post, OP, you are disrespecting yourself by continuing to show interest in this girl. The fact that she put the picture of her with the other guy on social media means that she didn't only see (and probably fuck) another man, she chose to broadcast it to the world through social media. If that's not enough for you to lose interest in dating her, I don't know what is.

You talk about her being a virgin as if this is something you care about, but then you continue to want to date this girl even after she did whatever she did with the other guy.

Post: #24

(12-05-2016 06:23 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  

(12-05-2016 04:56 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  I hate to say it, but a male virgin should probably get a few notches with sluts before going all in on an 18 year old female virgin. Especially one who's pushing 30.

Reading this was like watching:

Guys sorry to clarify I am not a virgin!

You keep harping on that, we get that.

Just because it was mentioned to move this to the newbie forum, doesn't mean it's for virgins.

It's painfully clear that you scenario was bad, and it's time to move on.

Post: #25

Update -

We started seeing each other again, it had become like old times, we were making out and she was kinoing me, hand in hand, head in my chest, she would give me good night texts with love hearts. She asked me to get her flowers the next time I saw her, I didnt do this.

Then yesterday I saw her and she said I was too good for her, and that she doesn't deserve it, said her emotions are all over the place, up and down, and that if we carry on we'd end up in a massive fight and not speaking, she said she could see as better as friends for years to come. She asked if I thought we were compatible.

I told her no, I cannot be friends with you if there are feelings, I told her to think about what she wants and I will not see you anymore. She was still sure she wanted to be friends and told me to think about it. We left the bar and she looked upset, I walked the other way.

She also talked about the other guy and how they still speak, she was calling him her ex, said that she had told him to F off, and she doesnt want to be with him. I think they had sex, she talked about how they had an argument about using protection, she wanted to, but he didnt. She also told me the truth about her age being 17.

I will not be contacting her again. A few things why I think this had happened:

1. I did not have sex with her
2. she still likes the other guy and has been using me to try and get him back / make him jealous
3. she does not want to be in a long term relationship - when we stopped talking before she said she was thinking of herself and that relationships take work. she loves little flings and attention from different guys
4. she does not know what she wants