Post: #1

Recently I've had a paradigm shift. Instead of trying to play the game well constantly, like always trying to be as alpha as I could, and constantly being hyperaware of logistics and what to do in any given situation, or what to say as an opener, I've pulled back a little and just focused on having fun with the girls in the interactions and just seeing where it takes me.

I don't think I try to think of the best opener when I approach the girl as much anymore, I just say what I think comes to my mind. I don't try to anticipate what the girl would probably want and do that; now I just open up myself to her and let her join in. My mindset is that I'm a cool guy, I don't have anything to prove, and it's your choice if you want to be a part of it. Even if she just wants to flirt a little and then leave, I used to feel that I wasn't accomplishing what I "should" be, but now I feel we shared a connection and that's good too.

It's only been a recent shift so I don't know if it would be much better results wise. But it definitely makes gaming much less of a grind. I don't care about the opener, I don't care about working out what I want to say. I just say whatever's on my mind. I have the conversational skills that it's not completely horrible, and it's enjoyable for most girls. I'm not as focused on the bang. I do feel that perhaps it's a bit of a cop out for not getting results, but in the end it's still worth it to think this way. It's also a more holistic type of game, feels more natural, less contrived, also less like you're "harassing" the girl.

Does anyone with a similar mindset shift have any experience with it?

Post: #2

Congrats, you've just realized that having fun, being spontaneous, feeling natural, etc is a part of game.

Post: #3

Yes, this is spot on. Stop thinking of flirting as a means to an end. The more we enjoy the means, the likelier ist is that we reach the goal.

Post: #4

Yup, funny thing is, you will probably have better (not necessarily more, but better quality) success if you do the light, "I don't care" approach.

Post: #5

To answer thread title: yes.

This is what I do these days and it's great. Less thinking, less pressure, more fun. I don't feel like dealing with new prospects is "work" it's just fun and goes as far as it goes and that's all there is to it. Makes game more fun, easier, and lighter on the conscience.

Post: #6

Being relaxed and confident and having fun are all important for doing well in game.

Overly focusing on every little aspect of your game ironically makes you worse a game. So this is a good change.

Post: #7

(12-20-2016 01:04 PM)Fightersword Wrote:  Being relaxed and confident and having fun are all important for doing well in game.

Overly focusing on every little aspect of your game ironically makes you worse a game. So this is a good change.

I try to do this all time in all situations - esp non-game. Talk to old women at work, the security guard, the dude next to you in line at the store, etc. the point being when you then have something on the line, you act naturally.

Post: #8

I'd pull better quality girls with less effort and more frequently when I wasn't trying to game them as much as just trying to have a good night out and shooting shit with everyone around me. I'd also have rep with most all the locati ok ng I'd go to so the bartenders/owners were buddies as well and that never hurts.

Post: #9

This is my biggest beef with and why I never had much interest in the whole PUA thing. It seems so much about being on guard, watching every word that comes out of your mouth.

I'm not saying it's not effective but when do I actually get a chance to actually cut loose and enjoy the fun and women and everything if I'm so on guard all the time.

I think if you get in shape, be the best version of yourself, excel in your career, and through all this develope self confidence you dont need all the games and gimmicks and schemes.

Post: #10

You are on the right track. "be yourself". Don't overthink any given interaction, just let things flow naturally and take it from there. People want to be around people that are relaxed in any given situation. Not around someone that is pre-programmed with various lines.

Post: #11

Congratulations. You've found the Holy Grail of gaming. Having fun is contageous. She will want to be part of your fun. On the other hand being an anally-retentive robot is likely to be off-putting.

Post: #12

Like many posters have mentioned before, this is what it's all about! In order to get there, I still feel that studying Game literature, thinking about every words that comes out of your mouth, and always thinking of your logistics is the way to get there, unless you're a fantastic natural

Post: #13

I am on board with this. It was years ago when I fully realized every girl I have screwed selected me. Its like they are subtly out shopping for guys like we are clothes stores or something like that. Its really up to them.

I do like reading some of the "game" strategies here, but for the most part, out-gaming a female is a losing battle. Women have always out communicated men in every aspect of communication. They win.

If there was a communication battle with a whole army of men versus some little girl. She would likely win somehow.

And I think that is the funny thing about women. They are naturally pretty damn smart especially socially. Its like they were all born with PhD's in Communications. Thus women are super valuable to have around.

I especially like asking women their opinions about stuff because they tend to express their opinions very clearly about some things.

Post: #14

(12-24-2016 11:37 AM)Kinko Wrote:  I am on board with this. It was years ago when I fully realized every girl I have screwed selected me.
I do like reading some of the "game" strategies here, but for the most part, out-gaming a female is a losing battle.

I tend to think that 'game' helps you get the girls who are already into you the second they laid eyes on you.
I don't think it's like some 'super power' that the people who sell bootcamps etc would have you believe it is where a guy who isn't that handsome can bang any girl he wants due to his 'game' skills.