Post: #1

A problem I’m having frequently is that after I send a message to a woman that’s tailored to her profile, they’ll visit my profile, but they don’t respond to my message. I don’t know whether my profile or my photos are causing the problem (or both). The age of the women I message is anywhere from mid 20s to mid 30s. I’m in my early 30s.

This is my profile for okcupid:

My self-summary
Hi there. I’m from [city]. I’m working in [pharmaceutical job] blah blah this sounds like a cover letter. Yeah, I suck at writing cover letters.

My Myers-Briggs type is "oh, this looks interesting...wait, how long is this thing!?"

What I’m doing with my life
Doing [pharmaceutical work] for [disease] at a [pharmaceutical company]. It’s different from what I studied in college ([very slightly related science major]) and I totally wouldn’t have expected to be doing this, but it ended up being the right choice because I love my job and have the best coworkers.

I’m really good at
Doing impersonations (especially English and Irish accents).

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: Mainly indie rock, indie pop, punk and electronic.

Movies: I like many different genres, but my favorites are horror and sci-fi.

TV shows: Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire, The Sopranos, The Wire, Homeland, Key and Peele and many more.

Food: Human flesh. Other favorites include Thai, Mediterranean, Italian and Mexican food. An honorable mention goes to gourmet burgers and sweet potato fries. I’m honestly up for anything.

The six things I could never do without
Food…water…look at this wit! Since it asks for 6, I’ll add caffeine (specifically coffee or black tea), internet, car and cell phone to the list.

On a typical Friday night I am
Friday nights are spent relaxing at home because I’m usually too exhausted to go out after work. On the rare occasion though, I might rob a bank. Weekends are spent either out with friends or watching movies and TV shows at home.

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What am I doing right and what am I doing wrong? What should I keep or remove? What would you guys have put for those questions?

Post: #2

(01-13-2017 09:39 PM)h5757 Wrote:  My self-summary
Hi there. I’m from [city]. I’m working in [pharmaceutical job] blah blah this sounds like a cover letter. Yeah, I suck at writing cover letters.

Your whole profile is at the image of your self-summary : you seem to be at a job interview, your answers are direct and common.
In other words : you're just one of thousands of other similarly boring profiles, in the girls' eyes.

Don't answer any question seriously nor directly.
Create mystery around yourself : the girl must think "Funny profile, I couldn't quite get who this dude is, I'd like to know more about him."

For example, say your profession is a monkey hoarder in the hidden plains of the Everest, whatever shit comes to your mind, but not the direct and boring truth facts.
Even saying you're a hobbo cultivating mushroom in the local park during the night, when the guardian is gone, is better than saying you have a decent job in XYZ company.
You tried to place some funny sentences, but as they're placed along side classic ones, they look "forced" (Well I had to be funny, so here's the funny one, after I prooved I have value).

Don't try to proove anything on your profile (diploma / job / house / car / friends / social skills / etc), it'll only make you look thirsty.
You must look so sure to be the shit, that you don't even NEED to say it, it's a given, for you and all the girls coming to your profile.

As for the profile pics, you can find a lot of good advices on this forum.
Having good pics is also key.

Post: #3

The problem with your profile is that you pay attention to what the questions say and you answer them as they say to answer them, and I understand you're trying to inject some humor into the proceedings but goddamn the human flesh part scared me a bit too.

IMO your "My self-summary" spot on OKC should be the place where you talk a little bit about your job, but keep it a bit mysterious. The rest of the spots are for you to expatiate about you. Your job ain't you. Your "self-summary" should not be about your job. Are you trying to impress iChicks with your job? Believe me, they won't be impressed. When they look at your self-summary, they want to know "what kind of game is he going to run on me?"

What kinda game you going to run?

Post: #4

Rule #1 for online dating profiles: If you don't have anything funny to say, then don't say anything at all.

There are a few exceptions. If there's something about you that's legitimately interesting and/or demonstrates high value (e.g. if you were a college athlete), then find a way to drop that in. But mostly you're just looking to say shit that would make someone laugh. Right now, your profile mostly just reads like every other one; bland, forgettable, taking the questions too seriously. Except the human flesh line; I actually liked that. If a girl is stupid enough to take that seriously (and there are some out there), then she's probably more trouble than she'd be worth.

Post: #5

The other posters above had good advice for you, I would heed.

1. Be more vague about your job, to get them curious. Eliminate the "I suck at writing cover letters" bit. I know you were trying to be funny, but it's not.

2. Human flesh? No, just no. Take that out. Again, you were trying to be funny, but the key is to keep it "light".

3. On a typical Friday night, don't say you're relaxing at home (even if it's true). You don't want to come across as boring. This is the perfect place to troll. Say something so outrageous and unbelievable. Like "on a typical friday night I'm out cow tipping to piss farmers off and going on high speed car chases driving cops crazy... if you see the news about a car chase, that's probably me! Cap that off with a stargazing session with a bottle of wine, and you have my fairly typical friday night." (never actually used this, I just made it up)

Post: #6

Does anyone still use OKC to effect anymore? I recall remaking a profile about once a year, each time finding more and more fatties and trannies on there. No talent on that site from what I can tell and it has been that way for awhile, I'd rather go the bumble route.

Post: #7

Stop trying to define yourself in your profile. You need to get the users curious not tell them everything in your profile. Being socially acute in your profile works wonders, leave them asking questions. Don't be too abrasive or you will get banned by the site. Good effort for trying to figure out online dating. I personally don't get much success being from a small town.

Post: #8

The main problem is that your profile is BORING, your jokes aren't funny and it gives too much Intel on you. Everybody else touched on this.

Self Summary
Hiding out... I mean living in ___________.

What I'm doing with my life
Even though I'm in hiding, I'm always on the look out for danger and new challenges.

On a typical Friday night I am
Start off the night slow with a tasty meal and drink but anyways manage to find that danger that makes the adrenaline flow. It's always a good night whether I make it home or not.

It doesn't take long to do. Just put effort to give playful answers.

Post: #9

For the "you should message me if" section, how would it look if I put "You promise not to chop me up in your basement."? Do you think that would creep girls out or would it probably be considered funny?

Post: #10

(01-14-2017 12:36 PM)h5757 Wrote:  For the "you should message me if" section, how would it look if I put "You promise not to chop me up in your basement."? Do you think that would creep girls out or would it probably be considered funny?

No. That sounds like something a woman would put up. It should play off what you said earlier in your profile.

So that little example I gave you.

You Should Message Me If

You like a little danger, unexpected places and unmatched fun.

And don't use exactly what I or anyone else put on here. They are just basic guides on what to do.

Post: #11

(01-14-2017 12:36 PM)h5757 Wrote:  For the "you should message me if" section, how would it look if I put "You promise not to chop me up in your basement."? Do you think that would creep girls out or would it probably be considered funny?

"No Skyler, I AM the danger!"
You're the one chopping afraid people in your basement, not the other way around.

Even if it's a joke, don't appear fearfull, You're the Man, you fear nothing.

Post: #12

You're profile sounds like it was written by a pharmaceutical salesman who stays in every Friday night, eating Thai takeout, doing impressions of Star Trek in his mirror. Burn it to the ground and start over.

Ask yourself, if this was a movie description, would I want to see it?

What woman do you think wants to see a movie about a pharmaceutical salesman with no sense of humor, adventure, or imagination?

It seems you've read every article Cosmo has published on how to write an online profile. And you've read too many women's profiles and are taking your clues from there. And you're lazy and have no creativity.

Men and women's' profiles are different. Men should be curt, elusive, and leave the woman wanting to get in on the adventure. Women's profiles should be factual at best, and show off their interests and personality.

Writing nothing would be better than what you've got.

I know I'm being harsh. How's this sound, accept my apology, I'll even buy you a beer someday, but dump this entire profile and start from scratch. As others said, make up stuff and stop trying to over think it. There is only 1 rule, would she want to see this movie?

Edit: And you've been a member for 6 years?

Post: #13

OP, there's a good way to see how your profile is seen by girls : create a girl profile and just stay online.
(It's almost always free, so you've nothing to lose).
No need to put a description or a pic, nor to contact dudes, the thirst is very strong among men, they'll contact you.

You'll get bombarded with mails, almost all the same : "Hi", "How are you?", "You look sexy?", "Wanna have a drink?"
You'll see tons of profiles, almost all the sames : "I am from this city, work at this job and like going to see movies, please contact me."
You'll then recognise your profile in those ones.

Post: #14

(01-13-2017 09:39 PM)h5757 Wrote:  A problem I’m having frequently is that after I send a message to a woman that’s tailored to her profile, they’ll visit my profile, but they don’t respond to my message. I don’t know whether my profile or my photos are causing the problem (or both). The age of the women I message is anywhere from mid 20s to mid 30s. I’m in my early 30s.

This is my profile for okcupid:

My self-summary
Hi there. I’m from [city]. I’m working in [pharmaceutical job] blah blah this sounds like a cover letter. Yeah, I suck at writing cover letters.

My Myers-Briggs type is "oh, this looks interesting...wait, how long is this thing!?"

What I’m doing with my life
Doing [pharmaceutical work] for [disease] at a [pharmaceutical company]. It’s different from what I studied in college ([very slightly related science major]) and I totally wouldn’t have expected to be doing this, but it ended up being the right choice because I love my job and have the best coworkers.

I’m really good at
Doing impersonations (especially English and Irish accents).

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: Mainly indie rock, indie pop, punk and electronic.

Movies: I like many different genres, but my favorites are horror and sci-fi.

TV shows: Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire, The Sopranos, The Wire, Homeland, Key and Peele and many more.

Food: Human flesh. Other favorites include Thai, Mediterranean, Italian and Mexican food. An honorable mention goes to gourmet burgers and sweet potato fries. I’m honestly up for anything.

The six things I could never do without
Food…water…look at this wit! Since it asks for 6, I’ll add caffeine (specifically coffee or black tea), internet, car and cell phone to the list.

On a typical Friday night I am
Friday nights are spent relaxing at home because I’m usually too exhausted to go out after work. On the rare occasion though, I might rob a bank. Weekends are spent either out with friends or watching movies and TV shows at home.

------------

What am I doing right and what am I doing wrong? What should I keep or remove? What would you guys have put for those questions?

Dude your profile's stupid and gay.

Stop with all the bad jokes, it looks desperate online.

However in person if she likes you she'll think your bad jokes are hilarious.

Stop answering the questions so fully and in depth. That also looks desperate.

It reads like you're desperately trying to impress when under TV shows you list loads of TV shows and then put "and many more".
Get rid of that cheesy crap. Who cares anyway? List one or two shows, or better yet ignore the whole section.

Look at how girls write one sentence in their profile and then leave it. Just do something like that.

I'll just rewrite it for you by taking the cringeworthy stuff out like "I'm up for anything really" under food. It now makes you seem a bit more the strong and silent type rather than talkative and eager to be friends. Although there are still a couple of things you might want to change slightly.

------

My self-summary
Hi there. I’m from [city].

What I’m doing with my life
Doing [pharmaceutical work] for [disease] at a [pharmaceutical company]. I love my job and have the best coworkers.

I’m really good at
Doing impersonations (especially English and Irish accents).

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: indie rock, indie pop, punk and electronic.

Movies: my favorites are horror and sci-fi.

TV shows: Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire, The Sopranos, The Wire, Homeland, Key and Peele

Food: Thai, Mediterranean, Italian, Mexican. And an honourable mention for gourmet burgers and sweet potato fries.

The six things I could never do without
Food, water, (obviously) caffeine, internet, car and cell phone.

On a typical Friday night I am
Friday nights are spent relaxing at home. On a rare occasion though, I might rob a bank.

I think this way, its more serious but it still has some humour to show you're not boring and can make a joke. And to be honest I think it's funnier this way. I think because the profile is basic and simple but then it hits you with a joke rather than just being jokey the whole way through.

Also people can quickly skim read it now. When I first looked at that profile it looked like a wall of text and I didnt want to read it. But this only takes a few seconds.

Also there were a lot of lines I removed because they don't show you at your best, boring stuff about being bad at writing cover letters, being too exhausted to go out on friday night, boring stuff about your weekend etc.

Now you just need good pictures!

Post: #15

See:

My self-summary
Hi there. I’m from [city]. I’m working in [pharmaceutical job] blah blah this sounds like a cover letter. Yeah, I suck at writing cover letters.

Look at this other exmple from the internet:
I like long walks on the beach with my girlfriend, until my LSD wears off and I realize I am just dragging a sole mannequin around a Wendy's parking lot...
Or
"If we meet and you don't look like your pictures, you will buy me drinks until you do!!
or
Hobbies: I take a bath daily.

And good pics. There is thread about it.

Post: #16

(01-14-2017 03:22 AM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  Does anyone still use OKC to effect anymore? I recall remaking a profile about once a year, each time finding more and more fatties and trannies on there. No talent on that site from what I can tell and it has been that way for awhile, I'd rather go the bumble route.

I have! I made a post about it several months ago where I gave a summary of my results after hammering away at it fairly regularly a bit over a year.

Summary of the summary: I didn't bang dozens of girls from there, fewer than 10, but enough that I can't remember all of their names. Most were average-looking at best, a couple were very cute, and one was what I consider to be an 8: a real stunner. There were several more who I fooled around with or fooled around with at their place or in my car but I didn't lay for various reasons; I made serious game errors with some or they just seemed like crazytown and I passed, etc.

I hit it off well enough with three of the more attractive and friendly chicks to date regularly, including the first girl I banged from there, though the first two "mini-relationships" didn't last that long due to the old saying: "If you find her online you'll lose her online." But I seem to slowly be creeping towards monogamy-land with a very pleasant and fun chick in her early 30s (I'm headed towards 40) that I've been seeing on and off since the early summer.

I'm not stunningly handsome, but I'm in decent shape and I think I wrote a pretty tight profile; I'm pretty satisfied with my results given my age. Youngest girl I hooked up with was 26 so don't let anyone tell you older guys can't do well at online game - at least in my area there are a fair number of young chicks looking for the "dominant older Daddy" experience. It's good to have a "niche" and that's mine.

It was a lot of work though and I probably went on around 50 dates over the course of about a year and a half; sometimes during a slump I'd be on the site at least a half hour a day, every day, because to get one date I'd have to BS with at least 10 chicks the majority of whom would ghost or flake. That's the unfortunate attrition rate that happens even before one gets a chance to run any in-person game. I don't keep statistics or anything but if I did I'm sure it would be a depressing exercise: maybe 50 openers to bang a 6, 500 to bang a 7.

The last new girl I hooked up with from there was in July and I've been mostly on hiatus from it this fall and winter - I mainly like having a few "regulars" at this point in my life and it definitely gets tiring having to constantly game new iGirls, many of whom are themselves only looking for a hookup or couple night fling. You get burned out.

You will probably encounter girls who are DTF but are clearly married/in a LTR or something and on the DL. You'll have to think about how you want to deal with that if and when it happens.

Overall though I'm satisfied, OKC was a lifeline for me for a while as I'm stuck in the 'burbs for the moment and don't have great logistics or very many other IRL venues to meet available women.

Post: #17

https://delicioustacos.com/2014/08/04/ok...t-happens/

This should be your template. Don't take this seriously and you'll instantly set yourself apart.

Here's what I've done.

Self-summary: Adapt a recognizable movie to your life without being too tryhard. The less resemblance to real life, the better.

What I'm doing with my life: Pick a badass but obscure profession describe what an idealized day would be like. A surprising amount of chicks will actually believe this is what you do.

Books, Movies, and Food: Skip

Six things: Tell a story about something cool you've done in real life.

Half of what I get in a given year is online. You'll have to sift through a lot of bullshit even with a killer profile.

Post: #18

(01-14-2017 03:09 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  The other posters above had good advice for you, I would heed.

1. Be more vague about your job, to get them curious. Eliminate the "I suck at writing cover letters" bit. I know you were trying to be funny, but it's not.

You will see that same variation on 90% of all women who have a dating profile. It's always "I'm not good at these things" or "I suck at this kind of thing."

Separate yourself from the competition. The humor you need is extreme sarcasm. The cow tipping and high speed car chase example is a good example.

If you don't have women sending you messages asking if your profile is true or saying how funny it is, you're not doing enough to make a good first impression.

Post: #19

Post: #20

So OP, did you get some online leads, since your profile update?

Post: #21

Use Tinder.

Post: #22

I have the emoji with the shades on in my self summary section.

Pretend you're the trouble maker in middle school that bubbles in a penis on the scantron when you fill these things out.

Post: #23

Lots of great advice in here.

The only thing I'd like to mention is to reinforce the idea that you should not take it seriously.

Mufasa above me summed it up perfectly. Treat it like some goofy survey or standardized test where the results don't matter so you just make up silly answers. You want to convey to girls that you are fun and don't take shit too seriously.

90% of your proof online is pictures anyway.

Post: #24

(01-16-2017 06:25 PM)Latan Wrote:  So OP, did you get some online leads, since your profile update?

I haven't updated my profile yet, but you guys all gave great advice and I'll be sure to follow it. If I'm still having trouble for a few weeks after updating my profile, I'll post my updated profile.

Post: #25

Is this better:

My self-summary
I never judge someone by their looks.
Unless they look like a psycho.
Or an idiot.
Douchebag.
Nevermind.

Here’s the part where I insert an intelligent quote about life and society from a historical figure.

What I’m doing with my life
It would be great if I found a cure for cancer, but a helmet that lets me see people’s dreams would be way cooler. For now, my current job will have to suffice.

I’m really good at
I just recently learned how to read and write, so I think I'm doing pretty well for a beginner.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
What I'm supposed to say here:
-list of books that make me seem effortlessly well-read
-music that is just eclectic and edgy enough, name-dropping a couple lesser known bands, and then obviously stating some classics, so you know I'm not too hipster.
-food that paints a really healthy picture of me, with a brief mention of a guilty pleasure (I'm looking at you, human flesh)

The six things I could never do without
1. Food
2. Water (look at this wit!)
3. I can’t think of a number 3
4. Or a number 4
5. Or a number 5
6. Or a number 6

I spend a lot of time thinking about
-How Superman shaves his invincible beard.
-Whether I want to hang out with M.C. Hammer if he won’t let me touch anything.
-Whether I should take up a manly hobby. I'm currently leaning towards woodworking, but I'm open to suggestions.

On a typical Friday night I am
Breathing. Hopefully.

You should message me if
-Your phone is not a permanent extension to your arm.
-You're awesome, but not "I don't care if you have horrible grammar" awesome.
-You think that 2048 is going to be an Olympic event in 2020.