Post: #1

Don't know whether or not this is a good idea.

So me and my ex ended things around 2 years ago when I was still quite overweight, was depressed and did not have a job. The break up was amicable, and she was not ever a typical bitch like many girls. I haven't talked to her since, but in that time I have become ripped, found a job and am overall in a much better place than I was before.

It has just got me wondering what her reaction would be if I was to contact her again and possibly meet. Is this a good idea or not? Any experiences with this before? I don't think I have any feelings for her but do have nice memories of our time together.

Anyone else have experience of this? I am not wanting to re contact out of feelings that I still have, but in a way just to show off my improvements. I'm not sure if I would even bother banging if given the chance.

Post: #2

You should move on man. Her loss looks like its affected you. But there is only one way to move in life, and its forward.

By the way, who initiated the break up? Was she broken up over the loss, has she tried to keep in touch with you, and wanted to meet up with you? If not I think you have your answer right there.

Use your newfound buffness to score something even better. You deserve it now.

Post: #3

Well done on your self-improvement, however this is an egoistic/attention whoring idea.

Post: #4

There's a nostalgic thing that comes over men from time to time, one that influences them to call up ex-girlfriends. They reflect on the good times, the early bangs, etc. It's happened to me before and nothing good has come from it. After awhile, the same problems would rear their ugly heads (just my experience).

If you are enjoying a new-found confidence, brought on by an improved physique, I would milk that: do approaches, run day and night game, etc. You're like a man who has a new car...why not drive it around the block a few times instead of trying to buy your old car back?

Post: #5

Send her a birthday greeting when the time comes around.

It's a good way to reconnect from a position of generosity and good vibes.

Post: #6

OP, don't. Just don't.
3.5 Billion other women are waiting for you.

Post: #7

I like Old Coke better than New Coke because it is old and so am I.

I think you are comfortable with familiarity, her pussy is familiar to you, but since you are new and improved, should you not go for new pussy?
It is like all these movies for women, you get tired of man, you throw him away, he uses time and energy to become new man, and comes back to your pussy, because your pussy is the best pussy in the whole world. You go giiirrrrrl.

But I have this problem too, so maybe I cannot help you very much. I can only tell you what I am trying to change for myself.

Post: #8

Congratulations on the changes you've made and improvements!

it sounds like you want to repair your self-concept by having her acknowledge your changes rather than re-kindle a relationship or another bang>
Therefore, you can still do that via another avenue. Meeting another woman (higher quality) and pursuing new encounters/relationships.

Let word of your accomplishments filter back through other people. There's no need to revisit. You're seeking validation for the changes you've made.

Post: #9

Been there, done that - other posters are right on. What are your motives, really? Stroking a wounded ego is always the answer. Not healthy for her and especially you.

Take your gains into your new approaches to fresh prospects. You may also really want to check any tendencies to seek female validation. Unexamined, those subconscious needs could lead to similar situations in the future.

Post: #10

(01-14-2017 10:25 PM)Latan Wrote:  OP, don't. Just don't.
3.5 Billion other women are waiting for you.

Bury it with a shovel....then bury the shovel.

Post: #11

Post: #12

Do you read the forum rules?

Post: #13

There's a reason you're thinking about her, and it aint because she's a special snowflake.

Don't get me wrong, she may be a good catch LTR. You skipped on some crucial details.

Regardless, it sounds like the reason you're thinking about her is because you aren't getting laid...or laid by as hot of chicks.

You didn't say your age either. If she's a special snowflake and you're 35+ and she'd be good mom, ok. But "the breakup was amicable" means she broke up with you. You may have been ready for it. You may have handled it the way a man should, by learning from it. And you may been on the road to self improvement. But "amicable" sounds like she broke up with you.

Post: #14

No.

Post: #15

You go back to this woman and mark my words, for ever and ever and ever you will be forced to bow to her whims because, in her future words, "YOU pursued ME!"

If you go back then no matter how buff and rich your are you might as well cut your balls off.

When I read the thread title I thought you were going to suggest meeting up to fuck the ex that dumped you before wiping your dick on her curtains and swaggering out for ever.

But getting back together with her? Flush that idea right now.

Post: #16

(01-14-2017 09:44 PM)Möbius band Wrote:  Don't know whether or not this is a good idea.

So me and my ex ended things around 2 years ago when I was still quite overweight, was depressed and did not have a job. The break up was amicable, and she was not ever a typical bitch like many girls. I haven't talked to her since, but in that time I have become ripped, found a job and am overall in a much better place than I was before.

It has just got me wondering what her reaction would be if I was to contact her again and possibly meet. Is this a good idea or not? Any experiences with this before? I don't think I have any feelings for her but do have nice memories of our time together.

Anyone else have experience of this? I am not wanting to re contact out of feelings that I still have, but in a way just to show off my improvements. I'm not sure if I would even bother banging if given the chance.

Read this post You're committing a typical beginner mistake.

Post: #17

(01-14-2017 09:44 PM)Möbius band Wrote:  Don't know whether or not this is a good idea.

So me and my ex ended things around 2 years ago when I was still quite overweight, was depressed and did not have a job. The break up was amicable, and she was not ever a typical bitch like many girls. I haven't talked to her since, but in that time I have become ripped, found a job and am overall in a much better place than I was before.

It has just got me wondering what her reaction would be if I was to contact her again and possibly meet. Is this a good idea or not? Any experiences with this before? I don't think I have any feelings for her but do have nice memories of our time together.

Anyone else have experience of this? I am not wanting to re contact out of feelings that I still have, but in a way just to show off my improvements. I'm not sure if I would even bother banging if given the chance.

This is a common newbie mistake. Exes are exes for a reason and it's usually a good one. It is quite clear from your post that you haven't moved on. She has. I suggest you should as well.

We have all been there but dignity and self respect are very important to a man. You have deluded yourself into thinking you have regained your self confidence - you haven't. Don't be a beta. Harden the fuck up and move on. Plenty of fish in the sea.

Post: #18

I'd suggest you don't. If she was able to leave you because you weren't good enough, then even if you are a billionaire with the looks of a celebrity, she'll find another reason.

I had this dilemma a while back when I was wondering whether I should reconnect with my first Thai girl (the first person I met here), but ultimately chose not to.

Post: #19

I've tried to get in contact with an LTR that broke up with me roughly a month ago, and it isn't helping.

Here's where I'll disagree - so what if you try and she doesn't reciprocate? Something I'm coming to terms with is that I want to get back in contact with her, for ME. Not her. If she reciprocated, then I'm satisfied. If she doesn't, then I'm still satisfied as I attempted something for MY benefit.

I'm sure others could critique this post of mine, as I am still somewhat deep in blue pill idealism, as least with how it pertains to this ex.

Post: #20

Two years down the line, and this woman is effectively still dictating to you. Move on. It'll undoubtedly end badly anyway - the internet is full of anecdotes regarding guys who got their act together, and then found that their spouse/girlfriend/ex didn't like the new them one little bit, as the balance of power had shifted, and not in their favour.

If you've got the time to browse, I seem to recall that Black Dragon was particularly blunt about this particular subject (No contact).

Post: #21

File all of this "contacting your ex" nonsense under "so after a year of banging fresh snatch, I looked back and thought 'what the fuck was I thinking'."

Put yourself in her shoes.

Your girl gets fat and refuses to do anything much at all. You kick her ass to the curb, sorry, "part amicably".

A few months later she comes sniffing around. She's got a job and lost some weight but you've already gotten a taste of freedom and have (probably) gotten used to sport-fucking by now.

Are you seriously going to take this woman back in and risk her entrapping you while going back to her fat, lazy ways?

Post: #22

Unless it's a grudge fuck no, you'll find it hard to not fall back into old patterns in any case. And no offense dude, but if you've made huge improvements you probably wouldn't be asking this question, you'd be too busy destroying targets of opportunity to care.

Post: #23

I've said it before, but I think it bears repeating:

Take a document, make a copy of it, then make a copy of that copy and so on. Each "generation" or subsequent copy suffers a loss in quality from the one that preceded it. Relationships work the same way. Each time you breakup and makeup, the quality of that relationship degrades. Eventually, it'll barely resemble what it started as.

A perfect representation of the makeup/breakup effect:




Relationships have a life span. Once someone chooses to breakup with their partner, it's over. Sure, you can choose to get back together ad nauseum, but it'll never be the same. Guaranteed.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7 Wrote:It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was."

Post: #24

The older you get the more of a school-reunion mentality starts to overtake thoughts of exes. Every now and then you want to use them as a barometer to compare and contrast how they turned out vs. how you turned out. I mean, people's lives are rarely if ever static. You go down a trajectory.

It's not easy to adopt a mentality in which women are seen as virtually interchangeable. I understand the idea, but it's hard to walk the talk. You're going to have the veritable fish that got away out there and something that can feel like this itch that you just can't scratch.

So I can see it as a good idea to go back if it just feels like unfinished business, but to do so with the full knowledge that the odds of anything good coming from it are low. Sort of an expect the worst, hope for the best mentality. And to make sure you don't commit too much time into it. In other words, first sign of trouble--bail. Especially if you're young enough there's plenty of time to burn retracing old steps and maybe learning a few lessons along the way.

Most people's regrets at end of life revolve around what they didn't do, not what they did.

BTW, I think the breakup-makeup generation loss idea is mostly a factor when you do it back-to-back. I think if enough time goes by it can feel almost like you're two different people meeting for the first time. It really depends on how much has changed since last time.