LeoneVolpe
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RE: Effective counter measures for a bully that happens to be female and your boss
With all due respect, I understand "nexting" is the knee-jerk response for many here, but you can't just take your ball and go home every time you end up with a supervisor you don't like, male or female. Either find a way of making the situation work (change departments if necessary), or if the circumstances are truly intolerable, don't quit until you've got another job lined up.
OP, do yourself a favor and pick up copies of "The 48 Laws of Power" and "The 33 Strategies of War" both by author Robert Greene. They're long books, but absolute must-reads as far as I'm concerned.
In my opinion, if you have a boss you don't like -- game them. You may not like playing office politics, but they're still going to exist whether you choose to partake in them or not. To not play the game is simply to play the game poorly. If you have no choice but to play, you might as well play to win.
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(This post was last modified: 02-03-2017 06:58 PM by LeoneVolpe.)
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| 02-03-2017 06:37 PM |
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greekgod
Wingman
  
Posts: 813
Joined: Apr 2014
Reputation: 58
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RE: Effective counter measures for a bully that happens to be female and your boss
Been there.
If they are complete shit, document everything. Save e-mails to a personal account. Have conversations in the open. Always be direct about issues. Do not play their game(s).
Many women aren't cut out for management but they won't acknowledge it. They are miserable by their own doing. You can either go above and beyond to make their life easier, make them laugh, or be the brown nose.
Long term, get out of that immediate reporting structure. Work situations like these nearly never get better.
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| 02-03-2017 06:51 PM |
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The following 9 users Like greekgod's post:9 users Like greekgod's post
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Steve McQueen
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RE: Effective counter measures for a bully that happens to be female and your boss
I did all the documenting stuff but stopped short of recording conversations, my way would be to email them referring to the conversation and asking them to clarify a point raised to therefore turn it into a paper trail.
Long story short I worked for a very emotionally unstable individual, had years worth of evidence.
When I finally tired of her shit and took it to the higher ups with overwhelming evidence, instead of reprimanding her they turned it around on me. I mean this was open and shut that I was the victim but the company went into self preservation mode, an admission the she was in the wrong would be an admission of liability, easier to get rid of me.
Colleagues were bribed to give false testimony with pay increases and promotions, I only heard about this through 3rd parties but the promotions definitely occurred after I left.
This is where I finally realised HR is not there to manage problems with employees, its there to manage problem employees.
So I took the decision to leave, it grates on me to this day that cunt kept her job and I was forced to walk, like said if your male your totally screwed
He who dares wins - Del Boy
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| 02-05-2017 12:13 PM |
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The following 5 users Like Steve McQueen's post:5 users Like Steve McQueen's post
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debeguiled
Innovative Casanova
      
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RE: Effective counter measures for a bully that happens to be female and your boss
Feel for you, bro, been in a similar situation. All I can tell you is that further on down the line you will feel glad that you came up with a plan and fought this, regardless of outcome, though it doesn't feel like it now.
I fought an unfair firing and had to get a lawyer, pay an investigator, and even got my boss and his wife to have to sit down and shut up at a Bureau of Labor and Industries hearing while they listened to everything I had to say, won the case, and still got nothing out of it except a lot of wasted money and time.
A few times when I have told the story, I have had someone come up after and tell me that something similar happened to them, and they didn't fight it, and they always regretted it, still think about it to this day, and wish they had done what I did.
So chalk it up as an apprenticeship in knowing your options, covering your ass, and not taking shit lying down. It will serve you well in the future, and you are a couple of steps ahead of anyone who has never been messed with royally at work, and is walking around with their head in the clouds ripe for not knowing what hit them.
I am well aware that you don't feel this way right now.
All I'm saying is, outcome isn't everything. You could probably give a seminar in boss red flags at this point.
“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”
Carl Jung
(This post was last modified: 02-05-2017 12:44 PM by debeguiled.)
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| 02-05-2017 12:43 PM |
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The following 1 user Likes debeguiled's post:1 user Likes debeguiled's post
Steve McQueen
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Brodiaga
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RE: Effective counter measures for a bully that happens to be female and your boss
(02-05-2017 12:43 PM)debeguiled Wrote: I fought an unfair firing and had to get a lawyer, pay an investigator, and even got my boss and his wife to have to sit down and shut up at a Bureau of Labor and Industries hearing while they listened to everything I had to say, won the case, and still got nothing out of it except a lot of wasted money and time.
This is why I am generally against suing an employer (or anybody for that matter) unless there is no other choice.
Even if you have a good chance of winning, the time, money and energy it takes to sue a company should be used to achieve other goals, specifically to find a new job or another source of income.
If I were OP, I would start sending out resumes and reaching out to my contacts in other companies today. Not next week, not tomorrow, but right now.
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| 02-05-2017 01:00 PM |
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The Father
Banned
Posts: 1,329
Joined: Mar 2014
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RE: Effective counter measures for a bully that happens to be female and your boss
(02-05-2017 12:13 PM)Steve McQueen Wrote: it grates on me to this day that cunt kept her job and I was forced to walk
It happened to me, too. The women in question was known throughout the organization as incompetent, BUT, she was senior to me, and was a woman to boot, which meant I (the white male) was easier to fire.
Women in the workplace - bosses, subordinates, and even peers - are basically IEDs waiting to detonate on your career. They are a disaster, and just one of the reasons the West will fall to the East. China doesn't force-feed this manure on their people.
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| 08-10-2018 07:14 PM |
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The following 2 users Like The Father's post:2 users Like The Father's post
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MrLemon
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RE: Effective counter measures for a bully that happens to be female and your boss
I wrote my thoughts on this subject a few years ago. For what they're worth...
/thread-47283.html
Quote:If you get assigned to a lesbian manager, just commit hari-kari now
A younger guy asked me the other day about what his "career move" should be, now that he was assigned to an obviously lesbian boss.
My advice was blunt: "Quit"
She wants you to lose
Understand that lesbians aren't interested in right or wrong, good or bad. They want you, as a male, to lose. It really is that simple. The reason they adopted the lesbian lifestyle (not just "having sex with women" but actively identifying as lesbian) is because they hate men. No matter how much they bullshit and lie about it, lesbians have been hurt by men, are hostile to men, and want men to fail. That is the essence of their identity.
You cannot win
Lesbians are still women, which means, they can rationalize and hamsterize anything, to fit their "feelings". They will twist and manipulate any way possible, to justify doing things that fuck you over. They will act very sweet...again, remember these are women. Then they will drive home the knife with precision viciousness that will be marvelous to see (except, you will be the recipient).
Nobody will believe you
Like all women, lesbians will get a pass from their higher-up executives. If there is any conflict at all, nobody will believe you. You will be marked as the evil employee. Your name can and will be blacklisted quietly by whisper campaigns. You will find later jobs harder to get.
She will ultimately drive everybody else away too...and it won't matter
You won't be the only one. Every high-performing non-beta male will eventually quit in disgust or be assassinated by her in time. It's very likely she'll pull the whole company down, or destroy a product line, or whatever. You will see this happen over and again. But nobody will never hold her accountable. 20 years later, the investors she screwed will still be calling her and chatting, oblivious to the fact that she blew their money.
With a male Bad Boss you have 50/50 odds. With female Bad Boss you have zip
There are plenty of shitty bosses in the world. Anybody with a career must deal with them. But, with male bosses, you still have a chance to thrive or even win. If you survive or outwit a bad male boss, the top management will chuckle and quietly identify you as a potential for better roles. With a female or -- horrors -- a lesbian boss, you will not get anything, ever. You will be the bad employee, every time.
Of course people can quote exceptions to all this. Maybe there is that 1 in 20 lesbian boss who actually helps your career. But the odds are so slim. Why risk it?
(This post was last modified: 05-07-2015 03:12 PM by MrLemon.)
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| 08-11-2018 01:28 PM |
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The following 6 users Like MrLemon's post:6 users Like MrLemon's post
Going strong, debeguiled, ChicagoFire, Built to Fade, DJ-Matt, Matsufubu
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