Post: #1

I'm 22, she's 20. 4 years together and she's a fucking good one. BJ's on command, cooks, cleans for me. She's very well spoken and intelligent, takes care of herself and holds a boner inducing feminine energy almost 24/7.

She moved to Michigan to be with me after doing long distance, but her parents are literally forcing her to move back to South Carolina. They are coming to pick her up in a month and have already bought the plane ticket. Reason being is she got in a car accident and is in deep debt. She will move back to SC for minimum of 6-12 months....however, I'm not sure if I want to do long distance again. It's difficult, and there's always the possibility of her cheating on me and I not knowing. While I do not believe she'd do this, I don't want to be in unicorn denial, and in an LDR the chance is exponentially higher, given that I'm not there much.

So my options are,
1. Stick out an LDR with my girlfriend for minimum 6 months while I visit her or vice versa every so often.

2. Go with her to SC, (is this a beta move?) I have a decent job but it's definitely not my passion by any means, I'm not exactly giving up a whole lot in Michigan besides a close knit family. But I feel by me chasing after her it makes me look weak...

3. Break it off with her.

What would you guys do?

I need some outside perspective in case I'm blinded by oneitis here.

Post: #2

Nothing in your story rings true in the least, but we'll see what the gallery says, Cotton.

Post: #3

Long distance doesn't work - period.

"her parents are forcing her" - how is your relationship with her parents ?

How much debt is she in ? Is it all from the accident ?

I personally wouldn't because of a girl, especially if I'd be leaving my own tight knit family.

I also wouldn't want to be paying down my girls debt either.


I think we all know the obvious answer here, as unfortunate as it may be for you.

You're only 22, you've got TONS of time to find another girl, but most importantly work on yourself, find a better job, and strive for better things in life, women always come secondary to your own needs.

Post: #4

Old ship captain I worked with told me once when I was going to France to chase a girl.

"My tugboat captain dad told me two things about women. 1) You don't follow them, they follow you and 2) All women are the same from the neck down."

If this girl was attached to you, you'd be her #1 priority. Don't follow her.

Post: #5

What would you be giving up by leaving Michigan? Job? School? Money? How long has she lived with you? What other things does she have going for her? I'm guessing she has lived there for less than two years based on ages provided. No offense but based on limited facts provided you might be trying to justify oneitis.

Post: #6

#3

Then more Deadlifts, Deadlifts.

Post: #7

You've been dating for 4 years. Why don't you just get a ring and elope? Four years is more than enough time to figure out if you're ready for something long term.

Post: #8

^He is 22 WTF

Post: #9

How much debt is "deep" debt?

If the debt actually isn't too much, and you're an adult (have your own place, stable income, etc.), I'd find a way to keep her, sounds like you have a good thing going.

If things don't work out, send her my way, I'm in Austin.

Post: #10

She certainly sounds like a keeper. But are you a keeper? If you are, then she'll find a way to keep you. If not, don't embarrass yourself by chasing this ass all over the US.

Stay wherever the fuck you need to be and let her get her shit together and come stay with you. If she doesn't do that, then you're not that goddamn important to her.

Post: #11

You're 22. She's 20. Try long-distance for a while, see if you guys can stick it out, and go from there. I wouldn't move for a 20 year old gf at 22 years old...

Post: #12

If youre 22 your future wife should still be just the gleam in her daddy's eye whose gaming her mom this very minute

Post: #13

(03-02-2017 04:36 PM)LockeAndLoad Wrote:  You're 22. She's 20. Try long-distance for a while, see if you guys can stick it out, and go from there. I wouldn't move for a 20 year old gf at 22 years old...

Bad advice.

Long distance won't work especially at her age of 20.

Why ? Guess what age she's turning soon ? 21.

A female turning 21 means "young wild and free"

Granted we don't know this woman, BUT, experience shows it's usually the death knell of college LTR's or high school sweethearts. Rare occasions I've seen couples pass through that.

These two are way too young to have such a distant relationship.

Post: #14

At your age you should normally be unencumbered enough to be able to move around the country, and it's healthy to get around some and experience different areas. However, if you are already actively working your way up the ladder in your career you don't want to disrupt that. So it all depends on your work situation.

Post: #15

You're 22. Let it go. If you're truly meant to be, she'll find a way to come back. In the meantime channel your anger/frustration or whatever into bettering yourself. Don't make such huge sacrifices at 22

Post: #16

So the most important question that isn't answered here.... why does she need or want to go back to her parents? "Debt" doesn't sound plausible at all.

Post: #17

(03-02-2017 04:39 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(03-02-2017 04:36 PM)LockeAndLoad Wrote:  You're 22. She's 20. Try long-distance for a while, see if you guys can stick it out, and go from there. I wouldn't move for a 20 year old gf at 22 years old...

Bad advice.

Long distance won't work especially at her age of 20.

Why ? Guess what age she's turning soon ? 21.

A female turning 21 means "young wild and free"

Granted we don't know this woman, BUT, experience shows it's usually the death knell of college LTR's or high school sweethearts. Rare occasions I've seen couples pass through that.

These two are way too young to have such a distant relationship.

I agree completely--all I'm saying is no way should he go with her. If he wants to stay together, see if it works long-distance. If it does, great. If it doesn't, then move on. Chances are they aren't going to get married anyway, so not a huge deal.

I don't necessarily think it will be because she "turns 21" though--at that age, they both have a lot of growing and changing to go through. The idea that every girl becomes wild at 21 is rather fallacious

Post: #18

Depending on the girl and her parents, it's doable.

My friend went to another country, got a girlfriend there, came back to the US for the end of high school and some college, and went back to be with her. They've been together nearly a decade, no problems from his side.

Things I'd take into consideration regarding her:
- How do her parents feel about you?
- Is she introverted or outgoing?
- Does she have other red flags?
- Objectively do you see yourself in a harmonious relationship with her?

Basically the more she likes getting out and about and doing things, and the more she respects other people and organizations over you, the more of an eye you'd have to keep on her. If her parents aren't so sure about you, that makes your standing in her mind even more lower. If you're already a veritable part of her family (and vice versa), I'd say move with her, stay in a LDR, whatever is practical. If not, give her signals that you're breaking things off. This isn't about being beta or alpha. Do whatever makes sense.

Post: #19

(03-02-2017 04:45 PM)LockeAndLoad Wrote:  I don't necessarily think it will be because she "turns 21" though--at that age, they both have a lot of growing and changing to go through. The idea that every girl becomes wild at 21 is rather fallacious

It's not fallacious at all to say there is alot of temptation when you turn 21.

Free access to booze, bars, clubs, approaches by guys, etc.

Probability goes up, and I'm talking from alot of experiences I've had and scenarios witnessed.

Not every girl but most.

Post: #20

These days early 20's is a gamble to think you'll still be together in the long run. Not saying it's not possible but odds are against you. Not trying to be pessimistic just realistic.

You need to think about what is most important for you. Sounds like her parents a fucking nuts though. Flying across the country to try and force their adult daughter to move back home? Fuck. Sounds like her family doesn't like or trust you too much either if they are trying to separate her from you.

I'd say if you and your girl really love eachother you should be talking to her about staying where she is and not letting her parents control her life. She's an adult after all and can make her own decisions. If you're her man, then any decisions she has trouble making for herself you should be able to make for her.

At the end of the day do whatever is best for you. There will always be other women, this I can tell you for sure.

Post: #21

(03-02-2017 04:54 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(03-02-2017 04:45 PM)LockeAndLoad Wrote:  I don't necessarily think it will be because she "turns 21" though--at that age, they both have a lot of growing and changing to go through. The idea that every girl becomes wild at 21 is rather fallacious

It's not fallacious at all to say there is alot of temptation when you turn 21.

Free access to booze, bars, clubs, approaches by guys, etc.

Probability goes up, and I'm talking from alot of experiences I've had and scenarios witnessed.

Not every girl but most.

True, but if she wants any of that, she's probably already getting it--getting into bars/clubs, drinking, getting hit on is pretty easy for a 20 year old girl. Turning 21 won't all of the sudden turn her into a drunk, ravenous cock-hound.

If he really wants to stick it out and they try long distance and it works, great. It already worked once. If it doesn't, life goes on and he moves on. Isn't that kinda the point of the forum, that there isn't just "one" girl?

At 22 he's probably better off focusing on developing his career anyway.

Post: #22

Like I said here in So-Cal you'd be surprised how thots get turned out when they start partying.

The point is using time wisely, instead of an LTR, he should game locally and keep in touch with her and see her when he can.

Yeah you're right, as I said above, it should be about him right now, women are secondary.

Post: #23

(03-02-2017 03:31 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Long distance doesn't work - period.

"her parents are forcing her" - how is your relationship with her parents ?

How much debt is she in ? Is it all from the accident ?

I personally wouldn't because of a girl, especially if I'd be leaving my own tight knit family.

I also wouldn't want to be paying down my girls debt either.


I think we all know the obvious answer here, as unfortunate as it may be for you.

You're only 22, you've got TONS of time to find another girl, but most importantly work on yourself, find a better job, and strive for better things in life, women always come secondary to your own needs.

Her debt is not entirely from the accident, she got a house with 2 other girls who come to find out are just low lives that don't pay rent, she works crazy hours at work and pays for majority of the bills. She also covers the other two girls rent when they don't have the money yet. Now her car is totaled, she's in a really shitty situation and is stressed as hell over everything. This, and given the fact she's only 20 years old I don't blame her for wanting to run back to Mom and Dad who she hasn't seen in almost two years. I've never given her any money to pay off debt, but I do what I can to make her life less stressful (take her out, fuck her like a porn star, workout together, ect. ect.) She keeps telling me how much she wants to make this work between us, and she's done so much already. Feelsbadman

Post: #24

Projecting my experience on you, once she hits 21 you are in extremely rocky waters. That, coupled with long distance, and you are very, very likely fucked.

Rely on the collective experience of men here that have seen women go black and white when they hit 21.

Post: #25

Long distance relationships are not relationships.

By her leaving, she is dumping you. I can't believe no one here has picked up on that. This is her way of dumping you. Is that too hard for you to accept?

By going with her, you are cucking yourself and devoting your life to following around your girlfriend while she sorts her life out. She will end up dumping you anyways.

You should dump her now. Like right now, tonight. That is the only proper way to handle this. Say "you know what honey, I really love you, but I am going to have to call this off now"