Post: #1

Quote:Comment: Do you have a type, or are you just racist?

What’s the difference between having a “type” and fetishisation? And how does it feel when you’re constantly approached sexually and romantically because of your race? Giselle Au-Nhien Nguyen breaks it down.

By Giselle Au-Nhien Nguyen
27 FEB 2017 - 12:12 PM UPDATED 28 FEB 2017 - 3:51 PM

“I have a real thing for Oriental women.”

“I’ve always wanted to have sex with an Asian.”

“I travelled to Vietnam a few years ago. I love the food!”

When I was 25, following a major breakup, I dipped my toes into the pool of online dating for the first time. I had never casually dated, and was cautiously excited to explore this new world.

The first Tinder date I went on was with a white guy who quickly revealed that he generally liked to date “Asian girls” or “hipster girls who ride bikes”. Lucky me, right in the middle of those two! He also referenced ‘Gangnam Style’, a whole two years after it was even remotely relevant. There was no second date.

There’s a difference, though, between having a “type” and reducing people to a singular, uncontrollable factor about themselves, like race.

In the years since, I’ve received more than a few messages on these apps fixating on my race or ethnicity, whether to test out their rudimentary Vietnamese or to straight out tell me about their sexual fantasies. ‘Yellow fever’ – a phenomenon whereby men (usually white) fetishise Asian women – is terrifyingly common, and in the age of online dating, your exotic dream girl is only a click away.

“But what’s wrong with having preferences?” I hear you cry. “We all have types!”

There’s a difference, though, between having a “type” and reducing people to a singular, uncontrollable factor about themselves, like race. I don’t message white guys to tell them I love garlic bread (for the record, I bloody love garlic bread); why would a white man think that telling me how much he loves bánh mì is a hot ticket into my pants?There’s a difference, though, between having a “type” and reducing people to a singular, uncontrollable factor about themselves, like race.

In the years since, I’ve received more than a few messages on these apps fixating on my race or ethnicity, whether to test out their rudimentary Vietnamese or to straight out tell me about their sexual fantasies. ‘Yellow fever’ – a phenomenon whereby men (usually white) fetishise Asian women – is terrifyingly common, and in the age of online dating, your exotic dream girl is only a click away.

“But what’s wrong with having preferences?” I hear you cry. “We all have types!”

There’s a difference, though, between having a “type” and reducing people to a singular, uncontrollable factor about themselves, like race. I don’t message white guys to tell them I love garlic bread (for the record, I bloody love garlic bread); why would a white man think that telling me how much he loves bánh mì is a hot ticket into my pants?

This fetishisation often comes down to problematic stereotypes of Asian women: docile, subservient, sexually submissive but totally down to fuck. In the eyes of these men, we assume a monolithic identity. We’re both infantilised and sexualised – an accessory for the white man’s sexual and emotional satisfaction. They see us as a blank page, waiting for them to bring us alive on terms that are anything but our own. We are a trophy, a prize catch.

Karen, 26, didn’t list her race, or that she could speak Japanese, when she used OkCupid “to try and minimise my encounters with weebs”. “It kinda worked,” she told me, “but in hindsight, it’s really fucked that I have to do so much to keep them away.”

Kelly, 26, has been called racist for stating on her profile that she wasn’t interested in contact from those specifically seeking Asian women (WHAT THE???), while Tash, 28, went on a date with someone who “proudly” told her he only dated Asians, and then “got angry and aggressive” when she pulled him up on his objectification.

The expectation of Asian women is that we’ll be quiet, obliging and never talk back. When I’ve told men off on dating apps for their overt sexualisation of me based on my race, their tones have often changed from sweet and flirty to violent.

“Fuck you,” one said. “You’re not that good anyway.”

When I’ve told men off on dating apps for their overt sexualisation of me based on my race, their tones have often changed from sweet and flirty to violent.

What’s interesting about the politics of sex and race online is that Asian men often face the opposite problem of having their sexuality and desirability erased altogether. “No blacks, no Asians” is a common catch-cry on apps like Grindr, with the more nefarious users going a step further to categorise ethnicities by food names (“no rice”, “no curry”). The archaic “small penis” myth continues to work against Asian men, who are often seen as effeminate or undesirable due to this Western social conditioning.

Sexual fetishisation and racism existed before the Internet, of course, but the rise of online dating has given further oxygen to predators. You can filter searches based on who you do, or don’t, want to find. You can prey more aggressively than you’d dare to face-to-face. It becomes a game, where the prize is a person who’s seen as an object. To be on the receiving end of that is both tedious and insulting.


Why being 'really into Asian chicks' is not okay

White guys who say they're into 'Asian chicks' might think they're super progressive, but some Asian women disagree – strongly.
That said, dating several people of the same race is not necessarily a sign of fetishisation – an ex and dear friend of mine currently has an Asian partner, but has also had multiple white partners, and from our interactions both as lovers and friends, I know that race was not a drawcard for him in either relationship.

There’s a difference between singling potential partners out because of their race, and happening to get into respectful relationships with more than one person from the same racial background. To assume that anyone who’s dated more than one Asian woman is a fetishiser, lumps all Asian women into a singular entity and personality type.

I can tell from the way the person talks to me, the topics they choose to speak about, the manner in which they treat me and the tone with which they discuss race, if they discuss it at all. And I can tell from the way they handle my humanity – as a living, breathing being, or as simply something to be collected, stripped and pocketed.

I must also acknowledge that most of the people I have dated or slept with have been white men. This has drawn ire from some, with one man asking me on Twitter why I care about “the plight of Asian men” when I “never seem to date them”.

There’s a difference between singling potential partners out because of their race, and happening to get into respectful relationships with more than one person from the same racial background.

Growing up surrounded by Western media and ideals, I know I have been conditioned to have an unconscious bias myself, and I am trying to decolonise my desire – this is an ongoing process of unlearning. But at the same time, as Natalie Tran puts it, I belong to nobody. People of Colour do not owe our minds or bodies to anyone – not those who look like us, not those who don’t.

As Australians, we are lucky to live in a country where we can, for the most part, exercise our sexual agency. We cannot help who we are attracted to, but we can examine the roots of that attraction and recognise their implicit prejudices.

Our sexual desires and preferences do not exist in a vacuum – they are a result of what we have been surrounded by and taught.

White is still viewed as the default, which is why men like to tell me I’m exotic, exciting.

But I am not a stamp in your sexual passport.

I am not your China doll.

I am not yours at all.

Love the story? Follow the author here: Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

http://www.sbs.com.au/topics/life/relati...ust-racist

More importantly, WYB?

Post: #2

Post: #3

Quote:Karen, 26, didn’t list her race, or that she could speak Japanese, when she used OkCupid “to try and minimise my encounters with weebs”. “It kinda worked,” she told me, “but in hindsight, it’s really fucked that I have to do so much to keep them away.”

What now? Like not do something? Like actually listing your race or skills?

I thought Asians were smart? Thats why I have this fantasy of nutting all over their face, obviously.



WNB. Would cook full english breakfast on face.

Post: #4

Standard Unattractive Westernized Asian Girl verbal diarrhea:

1. Only bangs white guys, doesn't realize the "Asian dicks are smaller" myth isn't a myth because she's never seen one.
2. Even says "most" (all) of the men she's slept with have been white, but still sees nothing at odds or hypocritical with writing a whole spiel denouncing race-based sexual preferences
3. Gets pumped 'n dumped because she's not attractive enough, has become the Australianized version of a bitch, and isn't worth sticking with. Gets surprised when being a bitch to Australian men results in insults
4. Australian Fake News company sees no problem with publishing such a profoundly and overtly hypocritical opinion piece because it will get clicks

Nothing to see here, just a hypocritical mediocre chick looking for attention.

Post: #5

Aggressively calls out dates for what she sees as moral turpitude, then when they get defensive, writes article about their "violent" vocal timbre.
Australia - ruining women since 1788. Also, WNB.

Post: #6

(03-02-2017 11:01 PM)cascadecombo Wrote:  

Don't say i you didn't ask for this...


Man she is rough...

And if you have any doubt about what kind of body she has...


She's well below my threshold.....and i love Asian women.

Post: #7

YES!

I have wanted this topic to blow up for a while because IMO it is one of the things that will tear apart the left's hysteria.

Women are more racist than men in regards to dating preferences and vehemently uphold the choice the choose "Preferences". But the thing is with these online dating sites with the outputs of data if they control for the level of men who overwhelm the sites the data starts to show that women are much more pick (especially white girls) to who they respond to then any other group, this will automatically anger their foot soldiers, black women, as they get it the worst online. Many black women in their own singular bubble don't realize how bad they have it online, but now many are starting to realize it. Next, the Asian girls are ready to mouth off because of they ar the chief culprits of the "fetishization" which is why you see Asian girls the ones who are the most vocal about this issue as heaving yellow fever dudes with no game blow up their inboxes.

For me, I support this movement because it feels the band-aid off the conversation of race and dating/sex that nobody likes to have. It also puts into the spotlight the hypocrisy of the gender movement. (Playing devil's advocate) Because, how can one say Gender is a social construct, but not race? Why should people be people be free to pick and choose and isolate by a person race, something that they have no control of? If people are pushing for the removal of gender preferences on a dating site, why can't we remove racial preferences as well? You see the avalanche that happens once these questions start to creep up and start being asked. This is why I support this stuff as it is throwing gas on the left and their hypocrisy.

I remember in the Toronto weekly paper during their valentines day issue they conducted a readers survey. I remember they had some questions on preferences and people voted overwhelmingly that people should not be able to judge and choose based on Gender.... preferences But yet the next question people voted that they should be able to preferences in dating : sleepy:

This is the thing they will clutch on to deep. People are strange and do weird animal and lizard things and nothing wrong with having preferences for certain types and shades but to me I laugh at the BS from people who try to lecture that gender is what society says but yet won't acknowledge that race is a legitly a societal construct. So to me throw gas on it all and let it burn.

Let these people eat away at each other and I will just sit back with the popcorn and my tea.

Post: #8

Quote:Growing up surrounded by Western media and ideals, I know I have been conditioned to have an unconscious bias myself, and I am trying to decolonise my desire – this is an ongoing process of unlearning.

The most natural way to "decondition" and "decolonise" herself from her "unconscious bias" would probably be to fuck off back to Vietnam. Lots of Asian men there and no terrible Western media or ideals to make her "unconsciously biased".

On the other hand, that's probably the same reason her parents/grandparents got the fuck out of Vietnam to begin with.

God save us from people who mean well. -storm

Post: #9

(03-03-2017 01:14 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:  

(03-02-2017 11:01 PM)cascadecombo Wrote:  

Don't say i you didn't ask for this...

Thanks, ruined my day.

Post: #10

"I like Asian women".

"You're a racist and a misogynist"

"I like Asian women. Also I'm 6'2", ripped and earn 200k+ a year."

"Hey, baby. You got girlfriend Vietnam? Well, baby, me so horny. Me so HORNY. Me love you long time. You party? Me sucky-sucky. Me love you too much!"

Post: #11

Fat Asian Hamster Wrote:When I’ve told men off on dating apps for their overt sexualisation of me based on my race, their tones have often changed from sweet and flirty to violent.

“Fuck you,” one said. “You’re not that good anyway.”

This man speaks truth

Post: #12

WNB

Post: #13

(03-03-2017 01:14 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:  Don't say i you didn't ask for this...

Reminds me of this...

Post: #14

Jesus Christ. I like to think that I've got low standards (as anyone who's been to the recent "platonic nudes" thread will know), but I don't think the boner would let me.

CNB Could Not Bang.

Post: #15

Yikes. With that attitude and looks, you can bet she's been pumped and dumped a lot. Sad.

Post: #16

(03-02-2017 10:58 PM)JWLZG Wrote:  

Quote:He also referenced ‘Gangnam Style’, a whole two years after it was even remotely relevant. There was no second date.

Post: #17

She really needed a wall of text that would make Tolstoy say 'that's a shit ton of words you have there!' to say she's a slut?

Post: #18

Here's your opener: "Ching Chong ding dong!"

Post: #19

(03-03-2017 07:12 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  Here's your opener: "Ching Chong ding dong!"

dying. Racist agree and amplify for the win.

Post: #20

"whoosh"

That's what I said when I saw her pic.

Man, I wish I had the same problems these fat Asian girls have. I'm half Asian and I'd be on cloud nine if a bunch of cute white girls were like:

"I have a real thing for Asian men..."

"I've always wanted to have sex with an oriental to get back at my parents..."

"I love anime/rice/japanese"

Post: #21

Quote:When I was 25, following a major breakup, I dipped my toes into the pool of online dating for the first time.

"When I got too old to get cold approached, and was prematurely alpha-widowed, I was forced to turn entirely to online dating ..."

Post: #22

Quote: By Giselle Au-Nhien Nguyen

Writes about racist men

Goes by "Giselle"

Talk about cultural appropriation

Post: #23

Bitches for an entire article about racist white men, only dates white men. Shes the racist and she is projecting

Post: #24

What is with Australia these days?

Post: #25

(03-03-2017 10:06 AM)Foolsgo1d Wrote:  What is with Australia these days?

The entire country has become a WNB.