Post: #1

Gentlemen,

I've been getting flaked on a lot lately, perhaps I'm too attractive?
But seriously, I'm not really butt hurt about it or anything, I am concerned with how I handle it.

Now one my most recent flakes seemed pretty interested in me so we exchanged information but when it came time to meet up something "came up" or she simply didn't catch my message, believable right? Next!

The one that makes me wonder is a date I had set for yesterday, she wanted to catch a movie with me (something I wanted to see). I messaged her an hour before the movie but no reply. A couple hours later she replied saying "omg I overslept". I didn't open the message since I was a little disappointed and went on with my day. I saw her later on our way to work and I didn't acknowledge her and she got my attention asking me if I went to the movie. I told her "no?". I haven't brought it up since and after her telling me about how she didn't get any sleep that day so she ended up sleeping through her alarm etc, things resumed as normal at work.
(We work together but it's only temporary)

Later she asked me if I were going to see another movie I had brought up the previous day and I said "yeah, I think I'll ask if my roommate wants to go with me" and left it at that. I didn't show frustration towards her and haven't talked to her outside of work since.

My question is: Did I handle this well? How would you have handled it?

Post: #2

When she asked if you went and saw the movie, I would have said I went out to X instead to meet someone with a devilish grin & sparkle in your eye.

If she asks who or where say it's a secret with a smile.

When she asked about another movie, I would have said I don't know yet and watch her response.

Don't waste any time with her unless she initiates contact. It's up to her to ask you to do something. If she doesn't understand that it's up to her she will be much more trouble than she is worth.

The best she gets now is a group text for girls to come out and join you and your homies out the bar or club one night (when you are already on your way out with them) with no personalization to the message. Pretty much forget her.

Post: #3

Your first mistake is asking out a girl that your working with. You said it's only temporary? I'd wait until your no longer working together. That may be one of the reasons she got cold feet as well.

Post: #4

When she asks if you went and saw it you tell her you ended up going out with someone else. Make her feel easily replaceable.

Sounds to me like she decided she wasn't really interested in going out with you and is trying to keep friendly because you work together.

If you really want to continue to pursue then invite her along to something you are already doing so if she shows she shows, if not then whatever. You could also invite her straight to your place so there is zero commitment on your part if she follows through or not.

Post: #5

I don't get flaked on often, but it does happen now and then. To minimize the chance of wasted time and/or money, I've now switched to suggesting this wine bar that is literally a 2 minute walk from my place. I invite all my dates there, and don't leave my apartment until I actually get a text from them saying, "I'm here".

It has served me well in the past - if I don't hear from them I just head straight to the gym or something.

Post: #6

*Update

So, I've since perused other women but I have noticed that whats her butt from work has been passing subtle hints my way over the past few weeks but of course I'm not biting, I don't feel like it would be a good way to spend my time you know? I think she knows she kinda screwed herself. She is always talking about being single and how past relationships have been sub par blah blah, and bringing up traits that I have and saying that's what I'm looking for. I think it's pretty flattering.

The second woman who I don't work with but works in a different section from another country has invited me out for drinks a few times since to which I oblige. She comes over to chat with me every once in awhile at work, I can tell it bothers the woman I work with and so can woman #2.

What do you gentlemen think? How am I doing so far?

Disclaimer: Where I am at right now doesn't exactly have many good looking women. These two women I'm talking about are pretty attractive (7-8) on most men's scales. So that plus the fact that there isn't much to do here for six months anyways is why I even bother.

Post: #7

You're doing fine. But now you're just fucking with her. Part of game is stepping over your pride to get the bang (someone said it before, can't recall who). Just invite her again, she's obviously begging for it. Just run don't-fuck-up game and you got the notch.

Post: #8

Nobody ever got flaked on for being "too attractive". That's just a male rationalization. Women flake because a) they're women b) she has more options

Post: #9

(04-18-2017 10:42 AM)BossOfBosses Wrote:  Nobody ever got flaked on for being "too attractive". That's just a male rationalization.

C'mon man...OP was being sarcastic, I don't think anyone on this forum is silly enough to seriously think that way lol