Post: #1

Hey all,

I've been lurking this forum for a long time after being MGTOW/monk mode for a good chunk of my life. I definitely got into the whole self-improvement thing because I never had experience with girls, but was sort of using it to procrastinate with this false idea that once I was ripped with money, intelligence, etc getting laid would be automatic. I ended up reading a lot about game but being too afraid to actually go out and practice.

I wanted to do the 100 approaches like the Roosh program talked about but could never bring myself to approach girls outside during the day. A few days ago I was at a party where I only knew one person and had to approach and talk to people I didn't know. It was easy to strike up conversations with the guys there but after a few drinks I finally pulled the trigger and opened a few girls.

I figured this was a good opportunity to start a journal thread here to get some feedback and keep myself accountable. I'm working/interning in NYC for the summer so there's a certain anonymity to learning to game here where you won't see anybody you meet every again. (I go to a reasonably small, SJW-y college, so I'm pretty cautious about fucking up) I need to go out this afternoon to buy some nicer clothes for work and maybe stop by a museum, so I'm planning to practice some approaches along the way.

About me, I'm an Asian college student, 5' 9", 155lbs. (Was 135lbs December of last year before I started lifting, been really happy about my progress so far) I wouldn't say I'm attractive, but I've been caring more about how I dress and my physique's improving everyday so I'm definitely not unattractive either.

I can't remember who it was, but there was a highly rated comment a while back about how game is knowing that wherever you are, you'll never be alone. I think that's my goal, and I hope you guys will help me out while I try to make it there. Cheers!

Post: #2

Two days ago, at the event I was mentioning above. My memory's pretty bad, so I can't remember that many of my exact words:

Approach 1: See a girl who's pretty fashionably dressed standing alone along the side of a balcony next to a large crowd. I walk towards her, get nervous, and turn the other way back into the crowd, come back around and see her still there, she seems to be looking around.

RS: "Hey, have you seen a chubby Asian guy with a buzzcut around here anywhere? I'm looking for my friend and I can't seem to find him anywhere."

^this is a bit of an exaggeration of my friend, but I thought it might be a decent/interesting/funny opener. Maybe she thought less of me because of it though?

Girl: She smiles, says she hasn't, asks me where I'm from.

I'm from a less-known/populated state so she seems interested, could've said something more interesting but didn't, then I asked where she was from and she said she was from Russia. I said something like "Oh cool, I used to know a decent amount of Russian myself," but in the moment I literally couldn't remember and didn't say I had visited Russia once when I was younger.

The rest of the conversation was sort of banal small-talk, but she doesn't seem interested and is looking around. I finally eject and say "hey, see you around" and smile.

--------


Approach 2: At the bar see a tall brunette waiting on a drink next to me. I walk up to bar next to her, and look for the bartender for a second.


RS: "Do you know what's good around here?"

She looks at me briefly, then turns away. I ask again, and she ignores me. I chalk it up to the noise I guess.

--------

Approach 3: Maybe this counts less, but the next day I was coming back from a work event in a building and I get in the elevator with a guy and a girl who seem like interns from another company.

RS: "How you guys doing," smiling. "I just got back from this [company] event and it was really funny, they were giving out all these fidget spinners. I thought they were just an internet thing, but they're actually real."

Talk for them a little bit, the guy thinks it's interesting, I give him one of the spinners, he gets off at one floor.

I'm saying something to the girl.

Girl: "Yeah, [really highly-regarded company in my field] doesn't give anything to us"

Me: "They give you prestige though"

Girl: "Yeah, I guess, see you-" She gets out on a different floor to exit than me. Maybe should've followed because she still seemed receptive

I don't think any of these really count as game because I was just carrying out small talk and wasn't really flirting or anything, but I guess mentally it was good practice. I don't really think I'm that shy of a person (I may be nervous before talking to strangers, but it's not crippling), but I think my sticking point is that I'm still not good at flirting/escalating. Too much of my normal socialization was ingrained from reading Dale Carnegie a few years ago and I feel like I'm a bit too smiley and supplicating/flattering in normal conversation, maybe putting people off.

I've been thinking I need to practice more of a direct game during these approaches because expressing that kind of immediate interest is much more nerve-wracking to me than just striking up a conversation. I've only read Bang/Day Bang and I was wondering if there are any good books/posts that fall more on the direct side of the spectrum

But I'll be out for a bit this afternoon so I'll try to get a couple approaches in then!

Post: #3

Keep up the good work.
When I did my 100 approaches, almost all of them amounted to...nothing

Post: #4

Thanks for the encouragement TheMaleBrain. Just wondering, how much approaching did it take before you could regularly get numbers/dates from cold approach?

---

Wasn't able to practice any game this weekend (had a bit of AA when a few opportunities presented themselves), but ended up doing an approach just a little bit earlier today.

Approach 4 Walking to the subway from work through Bryant Park. (this really nice park in the middle of NYC that always has different events going on) There's some circle of people watching a musician and I see a girl standing alone at the edge of the circle, maybe 8 body, 5 face w/heavy makeup and I approach her from the side.

RS: "Hey, do you know what's happening here?"

Girl: "I don't know, some kind of event" She has a really strong accent so it's hard to understand exactly what she's saying

RS:"Yeah, I think there's always all sorts of events going on in this park. I was walking by last week and a bunch of people were doing yoga on the lawn."

Girl: "Right here?"

RS: "Yeah, like the whole entire lawn was covered with people doing yoga." She seems interested by that and I try ramble a bit like Roosh talks about but I can't think of any bait to drop. She doesn't really respond but still seems receptive.

RS: "What do you do?"

Girl: "I'm a student at [ ] studying [I think dentistry] ... what about you?" It's hard to understand her with her accent

RS: "I'm a student too, interning at a finance firm like pretty much everybody here." She laughs

Girl: "Yeah, I have some roommates working in finance too .... one of them works at [firm name] and she says [can't understand what she's saying]"

RS: "Oh yeah, I have a friend working there too..." I ramble about him and how the hours are and insert one or two things about the stuff I'm doing. She seems receptive still, makes good eye contact and even touches/pushes back her hair several times (IOI?) but doesn't respond. Maybe her English is not as good as I thought it would be.

I ask about how her job is in dentistry and she doesn't understand me and I realize I misheard her. There's an awkward moment when I try to ask again but she doesn't understand and I try to think of something else to say but can't and there's an awkward silence. I probably should've just asked another question (but didn't want it to be like an interview) and she really hadn't said much I could pick up on so I said "Nice talking to you, see you around," and ejected. I guess I realized it's harder to get girls to open up/simply talk more via cold approach than it is normally, but I still feel like I definitely missed an opportunity here because she seemed receptive.

Post: #5

(06-24-2017 11:12 AM)Ruff Swami Wrote:  Hey all,

I've been lurking this forum for a long time after being MGTOW/monk mode for a good chunk of my life.

About me, I'm an Asian college student, 5' 9", 155lbs.

Damn, you could be my cousin. I hope your not from Cali. LOL

Well you def got the height and it seems like you got the clothes/hygeine/hair/shoes to go along too.

You are in an ideal place if you're always taking the elevator and going through a lobby and also riding the train. These are ideal scenarios to strike up convos.

I walk through a lobby with security check point and always ride the elevator every day. I make it a point to always talk to a girl if a decent one is around. I go in with just making small talk to practice and nothing more. I have gotten a few lunch dates out of it but I didn't take it further as I don't want to crap where I work, as they say. It's still good practice and even if you just befriend someone, they could have an awesome social circle which could open doors to bang one of their friends.

Waiting for the train is so easy to start up a convo as well.

Post: #6

Good start, keep us posted. We have yet to see someone make it all the way to 100.

Post: #7

Pretty sure i'm well over a hundred on my journal, lol. Although thinking about it, maybe not! Might have to tally up ~

good luck OP

Post: #8

Hey guys, thanks for the encouragement! I promise I'll join subterfuge in the 100 approaches club. @chitown72 I'm not from Cali but close. (enough to say 'hella' every once in a while)

I realize I was never completely sure whether or not elevator convos counted as approaches. I'm living in a building with a lot of other people interning around the city and one of the things that got me into writing this journal was trying to talk to every cute girl I was in the elevator with. I've definitely racked up upwards of ten of those conversations now but haven't counted them.

I usually just comment something along the lines of "Can't this elevator go any faster?" almost every time I'm in there (it's a really old building with an extremely slow elevator), and it usually leads to short stretch of small talk before we get out. Does anybody have success or methods for getting numbers/longer interactions from elevator conversations?

I've also seen quite a few stunners on the subway platform but always thought that approaching in that situation was either kind of intrusive or kind of public, but I may rethink that now thanks to you guys. I've just realized that I have a pretty ready opener and initial convo topic in something like "How long have you been waiting here?"/"These trains are so slow these days" especially since the governor just called a state of emergency in the NYC subway b/c of recent delays, derailments, closures etc.

Post: #9

Did two more indirect openers in the elevator today. Both times the girls seemed receptive but the moment the doors opened they were off to do whatever they had to do. I don't think I'm really able to really build enough interest in that short of a timeframe.

I also know that the Roosh program says not to mix daygame with nightgame, but I went out tonight for the first time in a long time and wanted some feedback on my game.

Was out with a friend of mine and some of his friends, maintained a pretty high energy most of time, normal opener was to dance up to girl and either tap her on the shoulder or offer her an upraised hand asking her to dance. Approached about ten different girls this way and got past one fear of being "creepy" by finding out that out of the ten girls I approached in a similar way, two of them were really receptive, a couple were neutral and two gave me "eww get away from me faces" and the line between a girl thinking I was a creep and a girl thinking I was attractive guy to dance with was simply in her receptiveness at that time and not a larger reflection on me.

I'm going to lay out a couple of those approaches below:

Approach 7 On the side of the dance floor I see a short 6 redhead sitting by herself (maybe with the guy next to her, can't really tell). The club is playing some song about "let me dance with you" and I dance up to her and extend my hand. She laughs and shakes her head and I come up and say something drowned out by the music and extend my hand again and she grabs on. I do a few spins, and then dance for a little bit with her but after about maybe 30 seconds she seems less into it and I'm not quite sure what to continue with (if I should pull her in to me, what sort of dance moves I should do, etc.). I end up letting it fizzle out, and later see her looking towards me and should have approached her again. I remember reading about how you need to push every interaction to its conclusion where you either get the bang or get rejected.

Approach 8 Right after this, I see two girls standing by the wall talking, one an Asian 8. I do the same thing and when she smiles it off I lean in again and say something about how it's what this song is telling us to do. She laughs but then turns obviously to her friend. I give myself a pat on the back for being persistent until rejection instead of shying out like the previous approach

Approach 9 After a couple of really prompt rejections from girls (I didn't approach them head on and ask them to dance, only touched their shoulder and tried to say something and they mostly weren't receptive), I see a short Indian? 7 dancing on the edge of her friends. I dance over, smile and extend my upturned hand and she grabs it. The interaction goes more or less like the one above, although a little better because I teach her a kinda dumb/silly dance move that she shakes her head at laughing at first but then follows me (a good compliance test I think). But I still can't get the dancing to go any farther and she straight up gets bored and goes back to her friends. I think I need to learn to dance more/take classes before I try to do more of this kind of game. By any chance does anybody browsing this know of any good places for salsa/bachata/other dance classes in NYC? (the threads that are up about it are pretty old)