Post: #51

Agreed. Papaya's advice is spot on, and I wasn't clear that I didn't mean you should use my suggestion on this particular girl to get the bang. I was being arty farty about "inner game", whatever that is. PT was being directly practical, which is obviously, well, more practical.

If you're interested, the suggestion I made is from cold call sales training for newbies, something like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVLMYw5tW94

If she's Latina, then the dancefloor is your best friend. If you haven't been to dance classes, I recommend them, lots of benefits but the key thing here for you, I think, is being used to leading a girl physically with no chit chat.

You'll be fine.

Post: #52

(03-01-2018 10:43 AM)PondScum Wrote:  Agreed. Papaya's advice is spot on, and I wasn't clear that I didn't mean you should use my suggestion on this particular girl to get the bang. I was being arty farty about "inner game", whatever that is. PT was being directly practical, which is obviously, well, more practical.

If you're interested, the suggestion I made is from cold call sales training for newbies, something like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVLMYw5tW94



You'll be fine.

I'm not trying to be needlessly argumentative here. I appreciate your trying to bring another perspective.

I watched the video and I understand the premise. The concept of psychological "inoculation" is one I'm familiar with. When it comes to attraction and game there are certain situations where it can be applied.

For example: In a bar or club "You seem like the kind of girl that's mature for her age and doesn't let others control her" as an "inoculation" against the inevitable cock block by her friend(s) when trying to pull her another venue or home.

Also self inoculation against fear of failure / rejection: "Doesn't matter if this girl rejects / bangs me or not". Can also work. Obviously its more effective when you truly dont give a shit either because youre not that invested in that particular outcome or you as most often preached on this forum, you have many other options.

In the video: Lets remember that while there are similarities to game and sales theres a major difference. You can still close a sale when the product's features sufficiently meet the prospect's needs. If your selling ice to a thirsty guy with a warm coke in his hand he doesn't care how nervous you are.

Many guys think that gaming women is about "selling" yourself to them. That's certainly true...to an extent. but I'd go further.

There's an argument to be made that actual "product" is the collective of emotional responses you create in a girl's mind. Whether with intention or or not that "product" begins to form from the moment she lays on you

Attraction is not a choice. It is a response.

That's where I disagree with your advice to the OP as far showing vulnerability (especially with very attractive women). It just goes against everything I know to be true.

If it somehow has worked for you then hats off. Game is heuristic by nature. As such I know anythings possible

In OP's case I think the girl has showed sufficient interest that just a "power through" on his own fear is all that he needs to close the deal...if he gets to "pitch" again

Post: #53

@papaya tapper
I didn't take it as argumentative, thank you for your thoughtful reply.

Post: #54

Do or die

Post: #55

@papaya tapper
I didn't take it as argumentative, thank you for your thoughtful reply. I was just being defensive about my post being misunderstood, sensitive soul that I am.

Post: #56

Seems like ignoring her text messages is working. Who knew... I'm usually very responsive in sending text messages. Will definitely do this more in future.

She was asking to meet tonight already. I just replied (maybe still a bit too early to reply but it has been 1.5 days and she was sending ''???'', ''everything ok?''- type of messages).

I didn't really have that much plans tonight, but I said no, because I feel a bit like shit today (really should focus more on girls, and less on drinking alcohol, it's becoming a bit of a problem) and I figured I might as well say ''no'', just not to follow her schedule, and make plans with her for Saturday. Tomorrow she can't though, cause she has a girls night out.

Last thing she said right now was ''we still need to finish the movie''. We were watching a movie last time, but had to stop it. So hopefully next couple of days I can meet with her. Seems like I do a lot of things wrong, but can't do anything wrong at the same time..

Post: #57

(03-02-2018 08:24 AM)Kentemo Wrote:  She was asking to meet tonight already. I just replied (maybe still a bit too early to reply but it has been 1.5 days and she was sending ''???'', ''everything ok?''- type of messages).

I see nothing wrong with responding to her texts if she was sending messages like that. She is invested.

Seems risky turning down the plans tonight especially with the girls night out Saturday though. She may very well not want to do anything Sunday then and then this lead will go colder.

If a girl is trying to meet up I normally force myself to do it, albeit on my terms. I.E. she wants to go out to a bar but I am tired I tell her I still really want to hang out but I can't go out tonight but would like her to come over for a movie at my place.

It does seem though like she hasn't lost interest though and you are still in the game. No one really knows the situation better than you, but I say strike while the iron is hot.

Post: #58

(03-02-2018 08:24 AM)Kentemo Wrote:  Seems like ignoring her text messages is working. Who knew... I'm usually very responsive in sending text messages. Will definitely do this more in future.

She was asking to meet tonight already. I just replied (maybe still a bit too early to reply but it has been 1.5 days and she was sending ''???'', ''everything ok?''- type of messages).

I didn't really have that much plans tonight, but I said no, because I feel a bit like shit today (really should focus more on girls, and less on drinking alcohol, it's becoming a bit of a problem) and I figured I might as well say ''no'', just not to follow her schedule, and make plans with her for Saturday. Tomorrow she can't though, cause she has a girls night out.

Last thing she said right now was ''we still need to finish the movie''. We were watching a movie last time, but had to stop it. So hopefully next couple of days I can meet with her. Seems like I do a lot of things wrong, but can't do anything wrong at the same time..

Youre doing fine. She's making excuses to see you (''we still need to finish the movie'') so she's into it.

Just set up a time for her to come see your new place. Have a bottle of wine or cocktails ready. If youre in another shared apartment "watch the movie" in your room. Just follow the "formula" from there. 1 1/2 glasses of wine (or cocktail) you make your makeout move....no fear

Post: #59

I was reading back through some of my XO Janes about what to do when things get hot and sticky. Pretty much this, tbh:
https://youtu.be/W3iQDrhP8cc

Post: #60

(03-02-2018 08:24 AM)Kentemo Wrote:  Seems like ignoring her text messages is working. Who knew... I'm usually very responsive in sending text messages. Will definitely do this more in future.

She was asking to meet tonight already. I just replied (maybe still a bit too early to reply but it has been 1.5 days and she was sending ''???'', ''everything ok?''- type of messages).

I didn't really have that much plans tonight, but I said no, because I feel a bit like shit today (really should focus more on girls, and less on drinking alcohol, it's becoming a bit of a problem) and I figured I might as well say ''no'', just not to follow her schedule, and make plans with her for Saturday. Tomorrow she can't though, cause she has a girls night out.

Last thing she said right now was ''we still need to finish the movie''. We were watching a movie last time, but had to stop it. So hopefully next couple of days I can meet with her. Seems like I do a lot of things wrong, but can't do anything wrong at the same time..

Any updates?

Post: #61

(03-05-2018 04:01 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Any updates?

No, not really, haven't seen her over the weekend.

I asked if she wanted to do something Sunday evening, but she couldn't since she had to wait for her money and doesn't have any money right now. (apparently the university that she does her doctorate for doesn't pay on time).

I offered to do something anyway, and that I'm happy to pay for her drinks (I don't have any problem with this whatsoever), but she didn't felt comfortable with that. She said we could do something after all her financials are in order, later this week.

Today haven't heard her. Tomorrow probably I am going to a party with another girl that invited me.

Feels like the ''vibe'' is a bit gone, also from my part. Still like her a lot though.
Still want to invite her for a movie at my place, but prefer to do it over the weekend, when she is a bit more relaxed and when I have a bit more time to make a move.

Post: #62

I can definitely relate to this thread, except for the having non paid for sex part.

Post: #63

This thread needs the OP to let us know how this panned out.

Post: #64

Hey Rat, not much too say honestly.
Lost that girl a while back. Nothing happened.

Usually the problem is that they lose interest after a while.
But who can blame them honestly.

Post: #65

That's fine. We've all had girls we liked fall off the radar. Did you learn anything from the experience, though? Are you still getting out there and dating?

Quote:Usually the problem is that they lose interest after a while.
But who can blame them honestly.

Sounds fatalistic. There are things you can't control, and there are things you can control. Focus on what you can control and outcomes can turn out better.

Post: #66

Yes, I learned a lot out of it. The problem is implementing it. My main problems:

1. I care to much what girls think of me. (asking myself a lot ''why?'', the more I think about it, the more I think how stupid this is).
2. Be more assertive (after 3-4 dates not even kissed a girl, afraid of rejection, see #1. Of course, a girl loses interests and might even think I am not into her).
3. Mental blockage of a dry spell of 3 years (feel like I am not experienced enough).
4. Too needy when I text.

Solutions:

1. Be myself and be grateful. I have a good life, a good remote job , a lot of fun times travelling. Just joke around with girls, see what happens. Stop putting them on a pedestal. If they want, they can join my journey, not the other way around.

2. Mental count down, just count to three (1..2..3) and go for the kiss (if you got IOI of course). A mental rule I'll try to give myself. Action causes reaction. Live with less regrets.

3. Can't really hold to high standards. I had a girl who wanted to f'*ck on Valentine's day. She was honestly disgusting. Her personality and her looks. She wanted me badly though. Glad I passed, but might change my standards a bit, and my main goal should be to get it over with. A bit afraid here as well, because of lack of experience.

4. I'll just stop texting. Read some good tips here. If a girls really like you, she will text back. If not, she will make excuses.
I've asked girls stuff like ''so, you don't want to talk to me anymore'', or ''I want to kiss you again''. stupid stuff like that. Makes me look like I need a lot of validation and a loser even more. I should keep it light, casual and make it about making plans for a later time. Not talking about all that fluffy boring stuff

Let me know if this is a good start.