Post: #1

I've begun to realize that my game is really fucking strong when I get into that euphoric social flow that emanates from a fun night. The problem is that I typically don't feel this way; usually I'm high-strung, anxious, and see it as work to have a one-on-one convo with someone. Particularly at the very beginning of a night out (or a date), I never feel in the right mindset. I keep thinking to myself, if only I could bottle the outgoing, hyper-confident feeling I get toward the end of a good night.

Do you have any techniques, or legal substances, you use to give yourself that social energy to go out and meet chicks or go on a date?

Post: #2

Half a bottle of dry white wine.

Post: #3

Technique: Accept that you're not feeling like you wish you were and go out anyway.

I tried substances (plethora of them here: /thread-22907...pid1833948)
Psyching myself up in front of the mirror
Imaginary conversations in my head in which I think about how great it's gonna turn out
"Get psyched" style playlists and blasting them in the house before going out
Fine tuning every single detail of my appearance
Bringing some friends in and doing combinations of these in groups
.....
.....

None of them worked. Here's what gets me in the zone:

Step 1: Create the Zone First

Accept that you're feeling high strung and anxious and not really in a social mindset.
Accepted? Good now close your eyes, imagine a box, cram all that shit into said box.
Push the imaginary box off an imaginary cliff.
Open your eyes.
Now you're just you. You have a plan to go out tonight on a date, or club, bar whatever,
The anxiety may slowly try to creep in. Again jam that shit in a box and off the cliff.
You're you now. A man with a plan. That's all you have
Anxiety creeping in "how's the line gonna be?" "am I even getting in?" "what's my date gonna be like" "RATIOOOS??"
You know it now, put in the box push off the cliff.
Shit comes up? Put it in a box, dump it.
Inadequacy? Goes in the box.
Everything that's been bothering you about this outing goes in a box and gets promptly pushed off a cliff.
People call this "meditation" I call this "BITCH GET IN THE BOX".
Don't keep it in just your mind. Close your eyes. Visualize a box. Imagine everything that's bothering you. Put them in the box. Visualize a cliff (eyes closed) and that box .. push it right off that cliff.
Open your eyes.
Now you're just a man with a plan.

Step 2: Get out the door

If you did step 1 correctly, anything that's been bothering you is still left at the bottom of that cliff in step 1.
And you made it to step 2 a free man. The nightlife is your oyster now.

Step 3:

Go out and socialize. Talk to people. Can be literally anyone. Embrace their social energy into your own to create your flows or further restrain your anxiety, up to you
Since you dumped most of your restraints back in step 1 you should be close to the best version of yourself now.
Some boxes and their contents may slowly start to come back towards you. If this happens you ignore them, until they're right there inside you.
And then you accept. Accept it but don't fall victim to it. Acknowledge its presence and continue being a free man. Continue building.

Step 4:
Keep building the zone you created in step 1, accept what's already there except you feel like you have the power to replace it with something else.
Keep building until your creation flow looks or surpasses the flow in your mind.

Step 5:
Enjoy your new personality.. for now. Your work is never over.

Post: #4

My prep for a night out will vary depending on the occasion but usually consists of the following.

- Cool shower (hot water makes me want to sleep) + solid meal with a balance of protein fats and carbs. My tolerance is shit if I just have meat and veggies, while we all know that a heavy pasta will spell death to motivation.

- Wear clothes that I did not wear to work, not even the same shoes. This is a mental game, but putting on clothes that I've had great times in get me excited to step out into the city.

- One or two stiff drinks, enough to get a slight buzz. If going to a club, maybe add one or two more hah.

- At the first venue, I will try to make a more risky move on a girl I am especially into, such as a table-tap, girl whose tinder date went to the bathroom, low probability shit like that. Since my expectations are low, when it inevitably goes better than I had expected, it really quickly gives me confidence.

All in all though, I genuinely enjoy going out, and basically any approach I make only makes me feel more confident and social for a night. So, its a matter of making moves ASAP and building off of the positives.

Post: #5

I think this has been mentioned elsewhere on the forum, and I found that this helped me quite a bit as well. If you're heading anywhere in a cab/Uber, talk to the driver. Could be about anything, though I usually just ask how his business has been, or if he's had to deal with any stupid drunk foreigners lately (this usually gets them talking big time). You're going to be talking to strangers in a few minutes anyway, might as well start getting yourself warmed up already, so that you're ready to roll and primed to bullshit with girls the moment you step into your venue of choice.

Post: #6

Cosigned on warming up, it's crucial. I usually try to get out early and chat up what my friends and I call a Warm Up Girl (conveniently located but not ugly chick). This has worked very for me, getting my social juices flowing early and giving me confidence to approach higher value targets

Post: #7

Two things work great for me :

1- Going to the gym
Raises my T level, makes me more confident and chatty around women.

2- Doing Tensegrity moves
Similar to Taï Chi (I guess), makes me more balanced, centered, calm and focused.

Post: #8

It'll never work, not in the long-run anyway.

You have to develop game around your personality -- angry, happy, sad, social, anti-social, introvert, extrovert, funny, egotistic, etc. And then you mold your approach around your personality -- direct or indirect. Over time and with repetition, you become a master of your craft. You said it feels like work to have conversations with people; the answer to this is to develop your game around the concept that you don't need to have conversations with people. I know it's possible because I've been doing it for years at clubs.

I'll give you an example, suppose you are on the dance floor dancing and a hot girl walks over to you and she starts mumbling something. You are enjoying the music, you want to be close to her, but you don't want to speak -- so you put your index finger to her mouth, say "shhh", turn her around, start grinding against her ass, and you give her pony-tail a yank as a foreshadow of what's to come. When the song is over, you give her your phone, she puts in her number and you turn and walk away and have a beer with your friends. This shows confidence, priorities, and aspects of what a real man is. She spends the rest of the night thinking you are the only man in the club who is mysterious, non-needy, and she'll spend the rest of the night looking for you.

Post: #9

(08-14-2018 06:53 AM)LINUX Wrote:  It'll never work, not in the long-run anyway.

You have to develop game around your personality -- angry, happy, sad, social, anti-social, introvert, extrovert, funny, egotistic, etc. And then you mold your approach around your personality -- direct or indirect. Over time and with repetition, you become a master of your craft. You said it feels like work to have conversations with people; the answer to this is to develop your game around the concept that you don't need to have conversations with people. I know it's possible because I've been doing it for years at clubs.

This is great advice, especially for introverted guys. Some of the suggestions and advice in this thread are solid, but it's more geared to extroverted, high energy guys and won't work for introverts.

Personally, I'm a classic introvert and social situations physically and mentally drain my energy. I literally need to take a time out each day to be alone and recharge so to speak.

But for going out I follow advice from The Charisma Myth and try to either avoid social interactions, or try have as few interactions as possible, in the hours leading up to going out. I even do this for dates. For some guys being alone before going out is counter-intuitive, but for introverts it's essential if you want to be fully present and high energy for a few hours, especially after a long day working.

I even take this a step further by having my own room whenever I travel, even if it's to Vegas. It's more expensive but it's worth it to have space to recharge, especially if you're going to be in high energy social situations like nightclubs and pool parties.

But if you're not an introvert then by all means ignore this post.

Post: #10

18 million views don't lie