Post: #1

I recently ran into a girl that I beta'd out with, hard. This was the one that prompted me to try to acquire some form of relationship. After having ghosted her following a LJBF I saw her again and she seemed very happy to see me.

Here's the story:
We met her playing D&D and started hanging out a bit. I realized that I enjoyed spending time with her and that encouraged me to actually try (prior to this I had never bothered to ask a girl out or even express interest beyond some friendly flirting). I thought I was getting some IoIs from her because although she was very scatterbrained and sometimes flaked, she would always be apologetic and try to make it up to me. She often get flustered around me over her own awkwardness. She also mentioned more than a few times that she was single.

We were getting some lunch and I shit out a few lines that I now realize were a huge mistake. "I feel like we have a deep connection," and "I'm always happy when I'm with you." In the parking lot I said to her, "I'm interested in a more intimate relationship with you," or something similarly robotic sounding. Her response was that she's asexual and let's just be friends.

Even before learning about game, I knew that was a pile of BS. So I did what I always do: I stopped communicating with her unless I had to. I kept going to the D&D game for a bit, so I saw her, I just didn't actually acknowledge her at any point outside the game. She did try to join in conversations I had with the other players, but I just didn't bite. Eventually she got the hint and neither of us acknowledged the other. I ended up leaving the game after a few weeks, so I hadn't seen her in months.

I ran into her at the comic shop yesterday and she seemed very friendly to me. "Hey there, how are you doing?" Big smile. My only response to her was "wow, you used to have nice hair," it was dyed neon green. She smiled and said "see ya."




Based on what I have read, this seems like it's salvageable. I'm past the stage of wanting to date her, but I feel like there might be an opportunity here. I deleted her number a while ago, but I know when she's going to be at the comic shop next week, so I can certainly bump into her again.

Any advice to have fun with this?

Post: #2

(08-25-2018 06:53 PM)Professor When Wrote:  I recently ran into a girl that I beta'd out with, hard. This was the one that prompted me to try to acquire some form of relationship. After having ghosted her following a LJBF I saw her again and she seemed very happy to see me.

Here's the story:
We met her playing D&D and started hanging out a bit. I realized that I enjoyed spending time with her and that encouraged me to actually try (prior to this I had never bothered to ask a girl out or even express interest beyond some friendly flirting). I thought I was getting some IoIs from her because although she was very scatterbrained and sometimes flaked, she would always be apologetic and try to make it up to me. She often get flustered around me over her own awkwardness. She also mentioned more than a few times that she was single.

We were getting some lunch and I shit out a few lines that I now realize were a huge mistake. "I feel like we have a deep connection," and "I'm always happy when I'm with you." In the parking lot I said to her, "I'm interested in a more intimate relationship with you," or something similarly robotic sounding. Her response was that she's asexual and let's just be friends.

Even before learning about game, I knew that was a pile of BS. So I did what I always do: I stopped communicating with her unless I had to. I kept going to the D&D game for a bit, so I saw her, I just didn't actually acknowledge her at any point outside the game. She did try to join in conversations I had with the other players, but I just didn't bite. Eventually she got the hint and neither of us acknowledged the other. I ended up leaving the game after a few weeks, so I hadn't seen her in months.

I ran into her at the comic shop yesterday and she seemed very friendly to me. "Hey there, how are you doing?" Big smile. My only response to her was "wow, you used to have nice hair," it was dyed neon green. She smiled and said "see ya."




Based on what I have read, this seems like it's salvageable. I'm past the stage of wanting to date her, but I feel like there might be an opportunity here. I deleted her number a while ago, but I know when she's going to be at the comic shop next week, so I can certainly bump into her again.

Any advice to have fun with this?

The biggest fallacy men run into when they become game aware: thinking they can go back and re-game the ones that got away beforehand. It's a validation of the ego, as if to say "I'm better than you now" because I can pull you when you turned me down before.

That's the male rationalization hamster to the extreme. Not only did she reject you, she's asexual, and has green hair. Part of the game is picking targets that will help you improve your skills. All this has the potential to do is waste your time, and for what reward?

If you want to really have fun with it, go pull a hotter girl and bring her to the comic shop. When you see your green haired lizard smile at her, but continue to go about your business. Honestly though, if you need to do stuff like this to massage your ego, you've got a long way to go to being truly game aware.

In short: leave this chick alone, don't waste your time! You're here, and from what I've read seem committed to improve. You deserve better my brother.

Post: #3

There's a lot to be salavaged here. It all starts with learning game. Not just 1 type but multiples of game that will give a woman the wtf is Mr. Prof will say or do next. I give you credit for attempts but in my frame the women are beneath me and only until she validate herself why waste my important time baby sitting. If she isn't DTF or coming close get another that would.

Post: #4

There's a lot to be salavaged here. It all starts with learning game. Not just 1 type but multiples of game that will give a woman the wtf is Mr. Prof will say or do next. I give you credit for attempts but in my frame the women are beneath me and only until she validate herself why waste my important time baby sitting. If she isn't DTF or coming close get another that would.
V

Post: #5

I'm getting mixed signals here.

I won't deny it, this is totally based in pettiness. It would feel super great to be able to pump and dump her. At the same time, I feel like there must be something here as far as practicing game goes, considering she went from ignoring to greeting and remained pleasant even through my insult.

(08-25-2018 08:27 PM)Supreme4ever Wrote:  I give you credit for attempts but in my frame the women are beneath me and only until she validate herself why waste my important time baby sitting. If she isn't DTF or coming close get another that would.
V

Supposedly I'm APD. But, apparently not the kind that gets chicks wet. I do have a relatively low opinion of most women, which makes my desire to invest much time into gaming rather low. In fact, the only woman with whom I have had any extended relationship is my very lesbian friend. But she's 80% a dude, so about the same as my more liberal male friends.

Post: #6

(08-26-2018 12:45 AM)Professor When Wrote:  I'm getting mixed signals here.

I won't deny it, this is totally based in pettiness. It would feel super great to be able to pump and dump her. At the same time, I feel like there must be something here as far as practicing game goes, considering she went from ignoring to greeting and remained pleasant even through my insult.

Cmon man, you aren't getting mixed signals. You even say it yourself here, that this is all out of pettiness.

Cut the ego out of it and let's look at this objectively.

She said hello to you, and then said goodbye after you insulted her. I won't even get into how insulting her is just poor game all around. She remained pleasant, but that was it.

That was the whole interaction.

Where was the green light to escalate? The body language cues that she was open to more? The slightly nervous, coquettish giggles you get from a girl that likes you?

When women think with their emotions we call it the "female rationalization hamster". Men have one too, and it's ALWAYS associated with the ego. In game and in life too many men let their egos think for them instead of rationally assessing the situation.

There's nothing here OP, and even if there was this is a green haired asexual women. As a man of value, is that really worth your time? Let this one go! I promise you, you will learn FAR more from pulling new women and closing them then you will from someone in your past. Every player here will tell you that.

Don't waste your time on this chick because of ego. Get your ego in check, otherwise learning game is going to be impossible! There is one game lesson here: just because you could, doesn't always mean you should. Let's leave it at that.

Post: #7

(08-26-2018 08:57 AM)Investment Bro Wrote:  

(08-26-2018 12:45 AM)Professor When Wrote:  I'm getting mixed signals here.

I won't deny it, this is totally based in pettiness. It would feel super great to be able to pump and dump her. At the same time, I feel like there must be something here as far as practicing game goes, considering she went from ignoring to greeting and remained pleasant even through my insult.

Cmon man, you aren't getting mixed signals. You even say it yourself here, that this is all out of pettiness.

Cut the ego out of it and let's look at this objectively.

She said hello to you, and then said goodbye after you insulted her. I won't even get into how insulting her is just poor game all around. She remained pleasant, but that was it.

That was the whole interaction.

Where was the green light to escalate? The body language cues that she was open to more? The slightly nervous, coquettish giggles you get from a girl that likes you?

When women think with their emotions we call it the "female rationalization hamster". Men have one too, and it's ALWAYS associated with the ego. In game and in life too many men let their egos think for them instead of rationally assessing the situation.

There's nothing here OP, and even if there was this is a green haired asexual women. As a man of value, is that really worth your time? Let this one go! I promise you, you will learn FAR more from pulling new women and closing them then you will from someone in your past. Every player here will tell you that.

Don't waste your time on this chick because of ego. Get your ego in check, otherwise learning game is going to be impossible! There is one game lesson here: just because you could, doesn't always mean you should. Let's leave it at that.

I meant mixed signals from the two posts, not her. Good points, though.

Post: #8

OP, if hair that's dyed neon green isn't a red flag for you, then nothing is. Beta on, bro.

Post: #9

You should try the basic guide to getting rejected. Pick an amount your comfortable per day and work your way up to 100 approaches. Not only will that help with how to talk to girls, it will make you forget about this girl your fixated on saving.

Post: #10

(08-26-2018 01:21 PM)tycotacos Wrote:  OP, if hair that's dyed neon green isn't a red flag for you, then nothing is. Beta on, bro.

(08-26-2018 01:43 PM)louiebeans Wrote:  You should try the basic guide to getting rejected. Pick an amount your comfortable per day and work your way up to 100 approaches. Not only will that help with how to talk to girls, it will make you forget about this girl your fixated on saving.

"Saving" her was the old me. I know enough not to be captain save-a-ho.

She actually came up to me in the supermarket today. Turns out after I left the D&D group is sort of dissolved and she wanted to know if I knew of any other groups. See, that's about what I expect when a woman no longer acts like I'm invisible. She wants something. And that always pisses me off.


However, I realized you guys were right and I shouldn't bother trying to get back at her. I don't resent the girls that reject my approaches, so I shouldn't resent her. Just told her I'd let her know if something came up and left it at that.

Post: #11

I see so many people fall into the trap of saying really cheesy and beta 'romantic' lines.

It's so easy to avoid. Just don't talk about your feelings for her ever. And rarely if ever talk about your feelings towards other things.

My girlfriend said to me the other week "you don't have feelings." I pretended to cry and she laughed. You have to build such a rock solid frame that if she sees you being emotional or saying something lame it is so out of character that she thinks that you're joking with her.

Is this salvageable? Maybe but you're going to have to be a lot more playful and unpredictable than the gameless, old you with the gay lines about your little feelings.

Here are some ideas:

Tell her you were joking when you said all that, and that you were just trying to sleep with her. (She won't know if you're being serious or not, and now she''ll be thinking about it)

Make some good jokes about her hair, maybe one along the lines of it being green to scare off predators like in the animal world (not just bitchy insults)

Saying that, this stuff only works if you are cool and socially calibrated. If you're an awkward dungeons and dragon's playing nerd and most of your social life is going to the comic book store, you need to fix that first.

Post: #12

(08-26-2018 06:20 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  I see so many people fall into the trap of saying really cheesy and beta 'romantic' lines.

It's so easy to avoid. Just don't talk about your feelings for her ever. And rarely if ever talk about your feelings towards other things.

My girlfriend said to me the other week "you don't have feelings." I pretended to cry and she laughed. You have to build such a rock solid frame that if she sees you being emotional or saying something lame it is so out of character that she thinks that you're joking with her.

Is this salvageable? Maybe but you're going to have to be a lot more playful and unpredictable than the gameless, old you with the gay lines about your little feelings.

Here are some ideas:

Tell her you were joking when you said all that, and that you were just trying to sleep with her. (She won't know if you're being serious or not, and now she''ll be thinking about it)

Make some good jokes about her hair, maybe one along the lines of it being green to scare off predators like in the animal world (not just bitchy insults)

Saying that, this stuff only works if you are cool and socially calibrated. If you're an awkward dungeons and dragon's playing nerd and most of your social life is going to the comic book store, you need to fix that first.

I've been much less beta since I first fucked things up with her. Remember, this was the first girl in which I had any romantic interest. I've worked really hard to push down my general loathing of women in recent months (when guys tormented me in grade school I kicked their ass and things were fine; I had to take constant shit from the bitches, though). Logically, I know she was just there at the right time and right place for me to catch feelings, but that doesn't change the way I actually felt. I still want to find a woman that I can love. I just realize now that it is not something that can happen the way I want it.

I'm going to let this one drop. Investment Bro is right about how fucked up she is and being vindictive is only going to make me less happy in the long run.

I've long since gotten over my social awkwardness. I don't have any problem walking over and talking to people, hopping in random conversations around me and cracking jokes, hosting parties, etc. Although I will say that I do probably lack a degree of subtlety. Most of my approaches end really fast with eye rolling or noncommittal grunts. One time a group of girls I approached straight up laughed in my face and asked "are you kidding?"

Post: #13

You should move on. She's already made up her mind about you are, it's a terrible fact that we all judge others very quickly (some studies saying with 15 seconds).

Most problems with game stem from missing the abundance mentality that is so critical to dealing with the inevitable rejection a player will face.

Here's a link that can explain this better than I can
https://therationalmale.com/2011/08/19/plate-theory-2/

Another benefit to knowing that you need new women to game all the time is that this will push you to look for new places and people, expanding your life will help you to meet women and make you a more interesting person at the same time.

Note to all beginners: Don't claim that game doesn't work if you're trying it out on women who you've already met (who have already formed their opinion of you). You need a fresh start to determine what worked and what didn't. Also, you need to test the same techniques with many women to get a feel for how a technique works on average because there are so many variables we cannot control.

I personally rarely have success if I let the lead go cold for even 1 day more than a week.

Work on setting the abundance mentality as your goal, I think it will fix most of your problems.

by the way, I congratulate you on your weight loss and continued overall self improvement. Best of luck from all of us.

I strongly encourage you to read the link I posted above.