Post: #1

[delete]

Post: #2

Like many people are gonna say, seek out as much legal/lawyer help as you can. Even if it means spending every dollar you make/have...

My advice would be hold out till you know she can't take you for anything. At the same time start doing your own thing and make her leave, then when it comes time to divorce she's the one who left. Be glad you don't have kids... My father had two kids in two different marriages, he is still paying child support to my sisters mom...

The OG's will have better advice just see what they say...

Post: #3

Edit: the form is the I-864 not I-134, and there are only a few ways to get out of paying it after the immigrant obtains the green card. I sure as hell shot myself in the balls on this one...

Louie, thanks for the tip man, I'll keep researching.

Post: #4

I would be more worried about her going sweet on you and trying to get pregnant somehow.

If you divorce now, what sort of financial hit are we talking about?

Whenever she says something nutty or threatening, write down exactly what she said in a notebook, and keep it hidden. Also time, date, place, witnesses present. Assume that she is doing the same, so be on your 'best behavior'.

Post: #5

(09-08-2018 12:42 AM)MojaveMan Wrote:  Edit: the form is the I-864 not I-134, and there are only a few ways to get out of paying it after the immigrant obtains the green card. I sure as hell shot myself in the balls on this one...

Louie, thanks for the tip man, I'll keep researching.

Err, I didn't realize she already had a green card before I sent my PM to you. Well, hopefully some of my advice in it will help you in some way. Just reply on there if you have any questions and/or want to chat back and forth as I went through a similar situation.

To anyone else who is in a crazy relationship/marriage: don't underestimate a woman's ability to ruin your life. As extreme as it may sound, hidden cameras are literally your best friends in these instances. Utilize them to capture her actions and the insane stuff she is saying. It will save you later.

Post: #6

Let her temporary green card expire, she will try to be sweet with you before it expires and needs to be renewed. If she tried to set up appointments, you do not have to go with her. Let it expire, then you will have the upper hand and can divorce her.

Post: #7

What if you left the country on holiday then whilst there her husband and her papers mysteriously disappeared?

Could this work?

Post: #8

You need to get out of that living arrangement immediately and without her knowing you're doing so. She can mess you up, in a big way. What she means by that is she can call the police and claim you beat her.

Once they throw you in jail she can then proceed with divorce and stay in America because she was "abused".

All the while you are going back and forth to court trying to clear up your name.

Don't make the mistake and think she wouldn't do it nor she doesn't know she can claim abuse and stay. These women talk to each other, on forums and groups, about these very topics.

I'd say there is a slim chance you would have to pay out any money. All she needs is to make some money for you to be off he hook. We're talking poverty level stuff and she wouldn't want to live at poverty level just to make you pay a little money.

Post: #9

Google this: Violence Against Women Act for visa and you will see why you should get away from her quickly.

Post: #10

Curious - what are the reasons for your unemployment? Why no job?

Post: #11

Not legal advice here.

First off, chill out. You're gonna be ok and YOU have all the power here.

You didn't have a choice but to sign the affidavit of support so don't beat yourself up too much. At least you didn't ask one of your buddies to be a joint sponsor, which I see all the time, although with you being unemployed not sure how you qualified as the only sponsor, but that's a different problem for a different day.

It's not a temporary green card, it's a conditional green card, the condition being you remain married for at least 2 years. The "conditionsal" part must be actively removed by the alien, it doesn't happen automatically. If before the two years expire you get divorced, she will never be capable of removing the conditions and her conditional green card will expire, and she would be out of status. If her green card expires why would you be on the hook for Affidavit payments? Maybe in theory that might happen, but If you think the court will make you pay her in perpetuity while knowing she's out status, that's highly unlikely. Also, she wouldn't be able to work without a work permit, so how will she support herself if you give her the boot? She'll have to go home. Read that last sentence again. Also make sure she understands the ten year ban in the event she decides to stay illegally and that you will pursue deportation against her. If she wants to play the "well I'm not going home and you're gonna pay for me" game, she's gonna lose and she's never gonna be allowed to come to the USA again. The US Government wants her gone as much as you do. Make that crystal clear.

A run of the mill family lawyer doesn't know anything about an affidavit of support so you should start with an immigration lawyer to ensure she received a "notice to appear" post divorce to begin deportation proceedings and if she chooses to pursue this (which is highly highly unlikely i.e. She has no money and shed have to tell her lawyer she's out of status...)then contact a family lawyer. I'd be careful waiting this out for her to become naturalized because then you'd be looking at alimony payments. Actually, I'd say definitely not wait for her to become a citizen.

Post: #12

I'm not a lawyer, just sharing my thoughts.

I think the Conditional Permanent Residence is for 2 years.

https://www.uscis.gov/green-card/after-g...-residence

Isn't she supposed to file a petition to remove the condition 90 days before her card expires? From the link above, looks like she's probably lost her PR status.

As others have advised, talk to an immigration lawyer right away. Don't let her scare you into thinking you're fucked.

May want to read this as well:

https://www.uscis.gov/green-card/after-g...d-marriage

Post: #13

The concerns about the VAWA route to a permanent (non-conditional) green card are real. That would be my main concern if she is psychotic. The issue is that she will have to "prove" that you are abusive. That means calling the cops, having you arrested, filing an official complaint, getting an order of protection, and possibly having you legally restricted from entering your own home. I had this happen to a close family member.

There are various things you could do on this one. Some suggestions (like just disappear) are a bit more "out there" than others. I go with most on the thread by saying first get as much legal advice as possible. But, I would go with a firm you can trust. There is a nationwide firm in the States. I forget the name. Can anyone on the forum help me out here? It is a firm that specifically deals with men who are going through divorce and child custody.

Talk to someone like that and ask what your options are. Tell them you are willing to consider anything, including things that are quite outside the box.

Off the top of my head, I would be looking in to the following:

1. I know you say you are judgement-proof, but any asset you want to keep - I would be gifting all of that stuff to friends and family. You have a car? Give it to your brother. Give him a note. Happy early birthday. Have him retitle it in his name or in an LLC or whatever. Don't do this and file for divorce a week later. Also, don't go out of your way to hide it from your wife. In fact, it would be better if she knew all about it. Tell her you are going to buy a new car in a month or whatever. *Replace car with anything you want to keep.

2. I would make sure you have a NON-JOINT account and CC at a bank that she doesn't know about. This isn't to hide assets. This is so you can buy a ham sandwich if she decides to go nuclear and freeze your other accounts.

3. I would be, via video or audio, recording all of her "craziness'' and threats. If she threatens to file a false DV report on you, you want that on tape. Many a false claim have been foiled using such techniques.
*NB - If your wife files a false claim and you get it thrown out, you can sue her, and have your conditional support waived by USCIS, and (probably) have her PR sponsorship revoked.

4. If she ever physically abuses you, you might conider filing a DV against her. This is a tricky move, as she will almost assuredly lie and counter-claim. But if you had a recording of it, I would got that way. Then, she's probably screwed.

5. Finally, investigate state-by-state divorce laws. There are states (cough, Nevada, cough) in which you can establish "residency" after only a few weeks and file for a quickie divorce that is basically an in-and-out of the courtroom type deal. The state you file in will have serious rammifications for how quickly you can get it done and how it turns out for you. If you manage to get divorced and you are no longer living together (and you can prove it), it makes it really difficult for her to claim a credible VAWA application with USCIS.

As far as a European being out of status and never deported, your lawyer is right on that up to a point. Of course, if she gets pulled over on an aggravated DUI in Texas or something, that is a different story. But, she would have to be facing jail time to be removed.

That being said, let's go to probable worst case scenario. Let's say you divorce, she loses her PR status and goes illegal, and she stays in the US because a judge orders you to pay alimony. There is nothing to stop you from reporting her to ICE ten times a day. Getting hassled by your crazy ex-wife's attorney for alimony is a bitch. Having to constantly deal with ICE/USCIS/DHS is going to make her seriously consider her decision to stay in the US.

Post: #14

(09-08-2018 09:57 PM)phluff127 Wrote:  Not legal advice here.

First off, chill out. You're gonna be ok and YOU have all the power here.

You didn't have a choice but to sign the affidavit of support so don't beat yourself up too much. At least you didn't ask one of your buddies to be a joint sponsor, which I see all the time, although with you being unemployed not sure how you qualified as the only sponsor, but that's a different problem for a different day.

He was on active duty (ie working) at the time they applied for her GC

Quote:It's not a temporary green card, it's a conditional green card, the condition being you remain married for at least 2 years. The "conditionsal" part must be actively removed by the alien, it doesn't happen automatically. If before the two years expire you get divorced, she will never be capable of removing the conditions and her conditional green card will expire, and she would be out of status. If her green card expires why would you be on the hook for Affidavit payments? Maybe in theory that might happen, but If you think the court will make you pay her in perpetuity while knowing she's out status, that's highly unlikely. Also, she wouldn't be able to work without a work permit, so how will she support herself if you give her the boot? She'll have to go home. Read that last sentence again. Also make sure she understands the ten year ban in the event she decides to stay illegally and that you will pursue deportation against her. If she wants to play the "well I'm not going home and you're gonna pay for me" game, she's gonna lose and she's never gonna be allowed to come to the USA again. The US Government wants her gone as much as you do. Make that crystal clear.

A run of the mill family lawyer doesn't know anything about an affidavit of support so you should start with an immigration lawyer to ensure she received a "notice to appear" post divorce to begin deportation proceedings and if she chooses to pursue this (which is highly highly unlikely i.e. She has no money and shed have to tell her lawyer she's out of status...)then contact a family lawyer. I'd be careful waiting this out for her to become naturalized because then you'd be looking at alimony payments. Actually, I'd say definitely not wait for her to become a citizen.

It's conditional but usually renewed even if the applicant and sponsor get divorced UNLESS the government believes the marriage was fraudulent in the first place.

As for the $1K/month, that isn't automatically owed the instant you divorce--she has to petition for it, or the government (federal or state) can petition on her behalf if she applies for any sort of welfare benefits. That said, the intent of that is to support her at the poverty line. If she is working and making at least $1K/month then you don't have to pay, if she's working part-time and making less than $1K then you only have to make up the difference. So she can't really sit on her ass and fuck you over unless she's content to live on that $1K....in theory. Of course, she could always find under-the-table employment and use the 864 support payments to supplement that, but if she does that and you can prove it you should--again in theory--be able to report her for tax evasion which would get her green card revoked.

There is one other thing to worry about, I read about a guy that this happened to where the ex-wife was content to sit on her ass and get the $1K because she was independently wealthy--high 6 figures in an overseas account from an inheritance, this wasn't considered income so didn't absolve the ex-husband of his 864 obligations. But this is a rare situation.

Post: #15

Thank you guys for your thoughts and advice. Yes I am going to be planning my escape with my two close friends, but they live in Illinois. I live in Nevada so I heard the divorce laws here are pretty fair, more than most other states in the US. If I'm chilling in another state while this is all going down on paper in Nevada, then that should be ok right? So that I'm not near her? I also may not have been 100% innocent of all laws int he past so I have to scrub all her media devices while she is sleeping to make sure she doesn't have proof of anything against me... it's not a pleasant feeling being strung up by your ballsack and forced to play dog, in fact this hypothetical evidence against me may be the only reason why I haven't left her yet. Still, she has it in her mind that if we divorce she wants to go to court and "win" or at least try to "win" (she has virtually no understanding of the legal lingo whatsoever). I told her that because we have no assets, no income (now), and no children, that we would be wasting any judges time, which I don't want to do. I'm looking for work but I don't really want to start making income so that she can just take it from me. Any money I make would be wasted on her profligate nature. In that sense, I will start working again once I am free of her. I just don't feel like being raped by multiple systems at the same time if this shit goes down badly for me, if I'm already a deadbeat, they have nothing to take from me, and my protected veteran status should count for something in all this... more to come, thanks for hearing me out fellas.

Post: #16

Considering that she is an attractive girl, couldn't you get someone to do you a "favour" and make her cheat on your with him? If you get that recorded, the court scenario would be probably more or less off the table.

Also consider putting tracking software on her devices and your home router. If her treats that she wants to fuck you are real, there is no better place than internet where she can learn how to. It wouldn't hurt to know her plan.


(and be careful that she doesn't do this same stuff to you)

Post: #17

If possible, I´d install a key logger on her computer to see what she is up to on the internet

Post: #18

...

Post: #19

(09-09-2018 12:34 PM)MojaveMan Wrote:   I also may not have been 100% innocent of all laws int he past so I have to scrub all her media devices while she is sleeping to make sure she doesn't have proof of anything against me... it's not a pleasant feeling being strung up by your ballsack and forced to play dog, in fact this hypothetical evidence against me may be the only reason why I haven't left her yet.

This along with the request to contact the mods makes me thing you have something fishy going on. You haven't told us everything or you're hiding something else.

Just say it bro.