Post: #1

Many years ago, when I was about 18 years old, I knew a guy. I refer to him as 'the rat' as this is an accurate description of both his looks and personality. Back then I was still trying to be a typical 'good boy', until 'the rat' showed me the flaws in my ways.

The rat was a short guy. He was ugly as well. His nose was crooked and too long for his face. His hair was greased and always unkempt. He owned two pair of clothes. His clothes had holes in them and barely got washed.

His room only had an old dirty mattress and a chair in it. He did not own these things. He borrowed them. His only possession was an old ashtray that he likely stole at some point in time. He was a thief and regularly stole stuff.

He did not have a job and when he on occasion got one he was fired within a week. He did not care and had no ambition whatsoever. He was always broke and the little money he got his hands on was spend on alcohol.

Most of the time ‘the rat’ smelled like piss and beer. He did not take many showers. He did not clean his bed sheets. He did not iron his shirts. He did not comb his hair.

The rat did not have much charisma. He was generally an unlikable person. He did not have any friends either.

At the time he was the perfect opposite of myself. I had a similar room and it was decorated with tasteful furniture. I had a whole dresser filled with brand name clothes. I ironed my shirts, combed my hair and took care of my shoes. I made sure to be polite, nice and friendly to people. I took showers. I had a good job and a wallet filled with money.

Almost every evening he did have a girl in his room. And every evening I did not have a girl in my room. I could hear him have fun with a whole bunch of girls while I did nothing but masturbate to my extensive porn collection.

One day I decided to figure out what I did wrong. How could a loser like him get this many girls, while I, as a decent guy, got none?

I made friends with him and asked to go out with him. I offered to pay for all his expenses and he happily agreed. And so we went out into the city.

When arriving at the first venue he was not allowed inside by the bouncer. I could go strait inside if desired, but he was not. Not weird considering I dressed in my best outfit and had well maintained shoes on my feet. My hair was combed. I looked like a ‘good boy’. He obviously looked like a homeless guy or perhaps a drug addict. Only at the thirth venue we visited he was allowed inside.

Once inside I walked strait to the bar trying to get the attention of the barkeeper. It took a little while for me to order two beers. And when I finally turned around with beers in my hands ‘the rat’ walked up to me and said; "This place is dead, lets go."

A little confused I looked around. Plenty of good looking girls in this venue. I could not understand why he would call this place "dead". I stared at the beer I just got for us and suggested to first drink the beers. He took one and swallows the beer away like only a proper alcoholic can do. It was gone within a seconds.

After leaving the venue and trying to get inside another I decided to not buy another beer. Good chance that he would decide to leave just after I bought more beers. That would be a waste of money. Instead I focused my attention on him.

What I then observed blew my mind.

When I went to a venue I always walked strait up to the bar to order a beer. Then I would stand and look around for someone to talk to. Hopefully a pretty girl. In most cases I had to drink a few beers just to get the courage to talk.

This is not what he did.

Once he entered a venue he walked immediately up to a girl and said to her: "Hey babe" or "Hi cutie". Most girls instantly rejected him. They made sounds like: "Eeewww" or "Ugghh". Most girls would roll their eyes.

His answer to these girls was one word: "slut" or "whore". Then he would move on to the next girl in his vicinity. It never took long before he had "talked" to all girls in the venue. And in most cases he only got "ewww's" or "ugh's".

However, once in a while a girl would react positive to him. She be drunk most likely. But that did not matter much. He made some jokes, whispered something in her ear, squished her ass and then a few minutes later they would leave the venue. He takes her home. Sometimes he took two girls home.

And this is why ‘the rat’ got laid while I did not. He approached girls. He approached a great many of girls. He did not have any special technique. He did not have any witty stories to tell or status to show off. Basically the only thing he did was saying "Hey babe", without any care in the world.

I did not. I barely approached a single girl. And if I did it was while being drunk. I would never say words like “Hey babe” or “Hey cutie” to a girl. I was told this is impolite behavior. I always tried to make a good impression. Always trying to show myself in the best light as possible. Trying to impress a girl with my career prospects, my good taste in home decoration or my fashion sense.

This guy, who I like to refer to as ‘the rat’, is a perfect example of what guys do wrong. You can be a complete loser, without any ambition, friends, money, hygiene, morals or status and still get plenty of girls in your bedroom.

You do not even have to comb your hair or take a shower. You do not even have to own a bed or your own sheets. It does not even have to be clean. All it takes is the balls and carelessness to approach a whole bunch of girls. One of them is stupid enough to have sex with you. She will likely be simple enough to enjoy it as well. She will come back for more.

Every time you are thinking about not looking good enough, or about not having good clothes, or about being without a job, just think about this ‘rat’. He was not a cool guy. He was not an alpha male. He was not a leader. He did have no status. He was not good looking.

His only possession was a stolen ashtray.

Post: #2

This is a very good reminder for me. I (and I assume others) spend SO MUCH time and energy making ourselves better and don't go out and actually approach women.

We come up with excuses and rationalize horrible reasons to save our ego. I often use the excuse that I can't go pickup unless I have a friend with me sort of putting pressure on me to succeed. I seem to have no nerves when I have a friend watching me but FREAK OUT when I do it alone. Unfortunately, I probably won't change anything about my behavior because I have learned this lesson a million times and it hasn't changed my behavior...

Post: #3

One of the better newbie posts I have read in a while.

Bravo!

Post: #4

Great post for newbs. When I was young(20-30) I approached everything that I deemed smashable. Which is how I got my lay count up so high. Now that Im older Im quite a bit more discriminating. I don't approach girls who are just smashable now, I've raised the bar. I only approach 8's on up unless she's a 7 with a crazy body or throwing tons of IOIs. My attitude is 7s should do something to prove they really want me, as opposed to 8s or better who can just exist and i'll approach. For the record, I was never one of those guys that felt he had to constantly justify why he couldn't approach a woman, In fact, I was the opposite. I was a complete savage approaching any and everything. Now however, im in even better shape than I was at 22( and i was in very good shape then), have a pretty good career, am usually the best dressed man a woman has ever been with and everything is simply falling in to place. My attitude is simply women less than 8s or maybe 7.5s don't deserve a cold approach from me. Im a high value male for god sake

Post: #5

Just think of how well a guy with his shit together would do if he approached every girl in a bar with an IDGAF attitude.

Post: #6

Sounds like "the rat's" standard in women is down there with the rest of his shitty life.

Approaching multiple drunk women in a bar in the hope that one (any one) will agree to sleep with you isn't good for one's self-esteem.

Post: #7

I think Neil Strauss in one of his books mentioned a guy who went around telling all the girls in bars "I want to piss in your ass". He got slapped a lot and bounced a lot, but also laid a lot. As Sgt Donger notes, quality may be an issue with these shotgun tactics.

Post: #8

(10-22-2018 11:51 AM)Sgt Donger Wrote:  Sounds like "the rat's" standard in women is down there with the rest of his shitty life.

Approaching multiple drunk women in a bar in the hope that one (any one) will agree to sleep with you isn't good for one's self-esteem.

That's assuming you draw your self esteem from women, which is asking for trouble.

Good story OP, the power of numbers in action. Just like sales, you've got to put in the numbers.

Post: #9

Interesting and also clearly appears in the book by Roosh. The problem with me is that sometimes I am a bit ''too proud'' for a rejection.

Post: #10

I don't want to get laid with the girls that want to fuck the rat.

Post: #11

(10-22-2018 02:57 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I don't want to get laid with the girls that want to fuck the rat.

Interesting post RatInTheWoods

Post: #12

This should be pinned to the top of the newbie section. I mean that as a compliment. It is a good post that everybody who is new to the game should read.

The main takeaway should be that "getting laid" in and of itself is not particularly difficult IF you approach girls. If a guy just wants to fuck a woman (a virgin, fresh out of relationship, etc), he should go to the biggest club in the city and approach most girls with direct openers. At some point, he will get laid. It always amazes me when guys try to rationalize their failures in getting laid, and in almost each case, they quickly admit that they approached "a few girls" and that's it.

However, not only does this spam approaching type game get old over time, it is also completely INEFFICIENT. You will need to talk with a lot of women to get laid if you don't have controllable variables in your favor. And this wastes your most valuable resource -- time.

Everybody should focus on getting their shit together (getting in good shape, making $, etc), but that isn't an excuse to never approach.

Post: #13

At the end of the day, at its core..... its a numbers game

You can certainly skew the odds in your favor by being fit, funny, dressing well, having a YUGE cock (aka me), having wealth, ect, ect, still though... you gotta approach or initiate contact.

There is a 0% chance you will hit a homerun if you never swing the bat

Post: #14

The post is not excuse not to improve yourself but it is more about approach more

Post: #15

23-year old virgin here with over 1000 approaches under my belt (mostly daygame, but a bit of nightgame too).

I just finished reading Models by Mark Manson and he talks a lot about how learning game is useless if you don't have your lifestyle handled.

He says that if you use women as a way to fill a void in your life, then your intentions are all wrong, and you're going to experience chronic rejection (like me).

Rather, you should create a lifestyle that makes you happy. That way, women will sense you have a lot going on for you, and you won't give off "needy" vibes as a result.

He recommends becoming financially independent with a career you enjoy and taking good care of yourself through eating, lifting, and dressing right.

Also: having a good social circle and engaging in social hobbies that you're passionate about (what I'm struggling with the most - I have no friends and most of my hobbies are solitary pursuits).

Manson says you can always learn game without the foundation of a successful lifestyle, but that essentially means you're faking confidence. The result is that you'll end up sleeping with a bunch of low-quality girls who won't stick around, because those are the kinds of girls who fall prey to what he calls "fake confidence."

For me, I rather work on building my SMV until I see myself as a 6, 7, 8, or 9.

I'm not willing to sleep with a 3 or 4 just so that I can lose my virginity, because I know if I do, it won't fill that hole in my life.

Post: #16

So I know a guy exactly like that. The thing is he know he has nothing going for him and rejection doesn't impact him the way it does those who are successful (however you define that).

What he is doing is right if that's your goal, but there's a reason most bankers in 5k suits cant do the same.

Post: #17

This post is the single best advice you can give to someone that has no clue about male/female relationships. Dozens of women told me that they just sit/stand in various venues waiting for someone to approach them. And that "someone" is not usually the best looking guy.

Bitches rarely make the first move so get up and do your fucking job, gents.

Post: #18

Great post BadBoyGamer and thank you for the reminder to not take ourselves so seriously.

My take aways from this story are:

1. Zero Fucks. The rat gave zero fucks. No external factors or opinions from others mattered to him.
2. No excuses. Anyone else would have a bazillion excuses if things weren't perfect. The rat had no excuses and no fear of fucking up.

ZERO FUCKS & NO EXCUSES!

In the interest of rewording the above into a positive mantra, what would be a positive way to say "Zero fucks" and "no excuses"?

Post: #19

(10-22-2018 06:47 PM)finalstep Wrote:  but there's a reason most bankers in 5k suits cant do the same.

Yeah, fear and ego. They can do the same, just need to be less crass about it. The issue is they put THEMSELVES up on a pedestal... when in reality, nobody really gives a fuck about them or what they do. If they're in a mega city, travelling or out of town, their "position" is equalized outside of their regular environment. They are a nobody and once the suit and mask comes off, they're also the rat.

There really is no excuse.

Post: #20

I find that in bar type venues with young(er) girls these days, the girls "waiting to get approached" are decent 5s and 6s, at best. The 7s are attention whores, girls who clearly like to have fun. So, it all depends on your aim --- also what city you are in (I'm talking in general about the US here). Remember though, there is much to be learned from approaching, regardless of the endgame.

Post: #21

How do you guys develop an outcome dependent mindset like the rat?

Mark Manson says by improving yourself to the point where you realize that there's more important things in life than women.

He also says "check your intentions," meaning ask yourself why you are approaching women.

For me, it was to compensate for the inferiority that I experienced in high school... That's why I've been failing for so long: I had the wrong intentions.

When I approach now, I'm trying to change my mindset to something like: "I wonder what's she like? Is she interesting?"

Finally, Pook from The Book of Pook recommends "taking yourself on dates."

He says if you can have fun doing things on your own, then when you do them with girls, it's like they are just along for the ride.

Post: #22

^ I assume you mean "outcome independent". It has to be mental and develops over time, and is different for everybody.

In my case, by opening and talking to hundreds of women, I realized that the rejections are rarely as bad as they felt in the moment. And the worst ones are actually hilarious stories for the future. So, for me its really a question of "what's the worst that can happen?". Nothing that bad, unless you're a complete idiot. Its really all a fun game, so I love playing it regardless of what happens.

Your mindset of thinking of yourself as the prize, as well as taking a more genuine interest in the women you approach, are both good. I relate to both of them. It just takes time to develop that mindset to where you genuinely believe it.

Post: #23

Not trying to kill the buzz here, but am the only one who suspects this is an apocryphal story? If not, would be curious about more information on "The Rat". What city was this in, how did you guys meet? Any idea what he's up to now?

Post: #24

(10-22-2018 08:47 PM)Alpha_Ambitionz Wrote:  How do you guys develop an outcome dependent mindset like the rat?

Mark Manson says by improving yourself to the point where you realize that there's more important things in life than women.
…..

For me, it was to compensate for the inferiority that I experienced in high school... That's why I've been failing for so long: I had the wrong intentions.

When I approach now, I'm trying to change my mindset to something like: "I wonder what's she like? Is she interesting?"
….

^^
I read Mark Mansons Models about 5- 7 years back, and actually really liked it at the time. It had a few points that I remember and still use today. I remember the section on clothing, and how to develop a sense of style. I developed something at that time very simply and have been going with it now for 8 years.

He also had a section that is very good about how she should be showing you her personality, and how you should be evaluating her. This honestly wouldn't have worked for me when I was young, but having a couple of gfs who had bodies/sex appeal that I loved, and who I ended up dumping for other reasons was a game changer cementing this concept for me. If you embody this concept at a high level, the details of frame will sort themselves out. That said -- illogical chick shit tests or games can still get to you.

Where it falls short I and where this forum will help you is the psychology of Game. So much of what we are as humans in a personal relationship is psychological. Even knowing a few moves and not fully embodying the player mind set will get you laid.

Keep working at approaching girls. The lesson from Rat is that he is a door to door salesman who will knock on every door. I sold door to door, eventually you find someone who WANTS TO BUY. Slightly harder with tinder these days as people can basically order a cock in.

Think of it this way, who is going to sell a product:
(1) Terrible salesman, great product (Low Game, High SMV)
(2) Great salesman, terrible product ( Great Game, Low SMV)
(3) Great salesman, great product - (Great Game , High SMV)

Anyway, lets keep this thread on topic.

The RAT Is a fucking awesome tale. He is the exact example of how our pride and following the rules fucks us. Being rebellious will get you laid, not giving a fuck will get you laid. Granted the rat will run his course as he gets older, chicks won't put up with that shit.

Post: #25

@ Alpha_Ambitionz

You did a 1000 approaches? That is great! Keep going and do not give up. It is not uncommon to do this many approaches without getting laid. It is a process of building yourself slowly over time. You get confronted with your weaknesses and insecurities. You improve yourself and your game and eventually you enter "pussy paradise".

Stop reading Mark Manson. He is an asshole. He is right. He is wrong too. He does not help you get laid. You need to read Roosh his books. I also suggest looking into Krauser PUA. Did you read Mystery Method and understood it?

Quote:ask yourself why you are approaching women.

You approach because you want to get laid.

Quote:Mark Manson says by improving yourself to the point where you realize that there's more important things in life than women.

You are a virgin. Getting laid is most important for you. Girls are your priority. Making yourself belief anything else will come back and bite you in the ass.

Quote:How do you guys develop an outcome dependent mindset like the rat?

By getting laid at least once.

Quote:For me, I rather work on building my SMV until I see myself as a 6, 7, 8, or 9.

This is your problem. You perceive yourself as too low value to get laid with a good looking and nice girl. Your perception is wrong. The 'rat' I wrote about shows how wrong you are. The girls he pulled might not have been stunners; they where good enough to make me feel bad about myself and get jealous.